We reach my house in a matter of minutes and we both stop. I'm surprised Cartman stopped too. I figured he'd keep walking.
He seems to be studying me carefully under the dim light of the streetlamps above us, and I start to fidget with my shirt uncomfortably under his stare.
"W-what?" I ask, sounding slightly nervous.
He seems to catch this and smirks slightly. "Nothing, Kahl." He winks, causing my heart to skip a beat, and before I can ask about it, he asks a question. "So what did you tell your mom when you went out for the party?"
"I told her I was staying over in Stan's house tonight," I reply.
"So what are you going to tell her now?" he asks and my face falls.
I didn't even think about my mom the whole way back. I have no idea what to tell her! Cartman obviously notices the worry on my face and he starts chuckling, earning a glare from me.
"Kahl, you are so stupid!" he cries, laughing now. "You really have no idea what to say to your bitch of a mom?"
I sigh and shake my head, feeling embarrassed and stupid, too much so to realise he insulted my mom.
He also sighs, shaking his head in disbelief as his laughter dies down. "Kahl, Kahl, Kahl. What am I going to do with you?" he asks.
I roll my eyes at his mocking tone and instead try to think of something to tell her, though I'm still too worried and shocked to think properly.
"Just tell her that you finally admitted your gay feelings to Stan and he rejected you so you came home crying like a pussy. 'Cause poor Kahl got his little heart broken." He smirks and I glare at him.
"Cartman, for the millionth time, I don't have any gay feelings for Stan!" I cry, glaring heatedly at him.
I notice Cartman's face light up for a brief moment and his smirk widens slightly, to my confusion.
"So… you're gay?" he asks casually, as if he was asking an everyday question.
The question shocks me but I don't let it show. I fold my arms across my chest and frown at him. "I just told you-"
"No. You never told me you weren't gay," he interrupts me. "You only told me you weren't gay for Stan."
He continues to smirk and I stare up at him incredulously, feeling my cheeks heat up quickly. "Well yeah but… tha- I still meant I'm not gay," I retort, feeling stupid.
Cartman chuckles to himself and I look away in embarrassment.
"No, I don't think that's what you meant at all, Kahl," he says, smirking deviously. "You are gay, aren't you?"
"No!" I shout, glaring at him once again. "God dammit, Cartman, get out of here!"
He raises his eyebrows in surprise before chuckling. "Whatever, Jew. I guess I know your big secret now, huh, fag?"
That word angers me to no end and I feel myself shake with rage. I so badly want to slap that smirk right off his face.
"I'll tell you what, Kahl. How about we make a deal?"
"Fuck off, Cartman. I'm not making any deals with you," I answer furiously.
"Fine," he shrugs. "I guess I'll tell everyone your secret then."
"God dammit, Cartman! I'm not-"
"Don't lie to me, Kahl!" he interrupts me again, his eyes now cold as they lock on mine. "I know it's true. You wouldn't be embarrassed otherwise." I open my mouth to argue but he speaks first. "Don't, Kahl. Don't bother trying to deny it, okay?"
I stare at him, my eyes narrowed hatefully, and then I sigh in defeat, knowing he's won.
"Alright." My shoulders sag and I stare at the ground, feeling lost and defeated. "What's this deal you're talking about, fatass?"
His smirk widens, I can see from the corner of my eye, and I glare at the snow beneath our feet.
"First, before I tell you the deal, I want you to tell me you're gay." I look up at him again and stare blankly at him. "Go on. Admit your sexual preferences, Jew boy."
I glare at him again, wondering for the umpteenth time why I have feelings for this asshole.
"I'm gay," I say monotonously, my eyes never leaving his.
He smirks. "And who are you gay for?"
My eyes pop open and my jaw drops. I stare at him in shock, definitely not expecting him to ask that.
He chuckles to himself, clearly amused, and cocks an eyebrow at me. "What's with all the shock, Jew? You should have known I'd ask you that."
I continue to stare at him, the same expression on my face, for a few more minutes before I frown at the brunet boy. "Cartman, I may be gay but I never said I liked anyone."
"You obviously do though, Jew. I can see it in your eyes," he replies, grinning deviously. "So who do you like then, Jew boy?"
I feel my cheeks heat up quickly and I avert my eyes from his gaze. "I… I-"
"Come on, Kahl. I won't tell anyone."
I suddenly frown at him as a thought occurs to me. "Cartman, why the hell should I trust you? You're the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet!"
He chuckles. "Come on, Kahl. I'm not that bad."
I frown. "Yes you are, Cartman, and you know it!" I retort.
He rolls his eyes. "Alright, Jew, don't tell me. I guess I'll just go into school on Monday and tell everyone you're-"
He instantly shuts up and his head shoots back as I punch him right in the jaw, feeling unable to control my fury any longer. He winces as he touches the tender spot on his face with his fingertips, his eyes blazing with rage.
He finally looks up and meets my eyes and I can almost see the raging fire dancing behind his dark eyes.
"You fucking Jew-rat!" he yells, grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me forward until we're centimetres away from each other.
He brings his face right up to mine and the tips of our noses touch as we lock eyes on each other. I feel uncomfortable this close to him and squirm awkwardly, though his grip on my shirt keeps me where I am.
"I am going to tell everyone your gay secret now, Kahl - your family, your friends, everyone in school. They will rip on you and insult you until it becomes so bad, you'll have suicidal thoughts. You hear me, Kahl? And there is nothing you can do to stop me."
His icy words send shivers down my spine and I feel goose bumps appear on my arms. His hate-filled eyes bore into mine, to the back of my skull, until I almost feel faint. I mentally exhale a breath of relief when he finally releases me and averts his eyes from my gaze.
He starts to walk away, stomping, rather, and I feel unable to look away from him until he's out of sight. I then look back at my house and shakily make my way to the front door where I insert my key and clumsily make my way inside.
I trudge upstairs with heavy steps, completely forgetting to keep quiet, and enter my bedroom. I collapse onto my bed and don't bother getting into my pyjamas.
I feel fear enclose on me at the thought of Cartman telling everyone I'm gay. I'm sure some people such as Stan, Kenny and Butters wouldn't care but a lot of people would. They'd rip on me all the time and I possibly would end up considering suicide attempts, though I don't think it would come to that. I'm pretty strong inside.
My parents are another thing. I'm not sure about my dad but my mom would be totally against my sexuality. She's always dreamed of me marrying a smart, beautiful Jewish girl and having plenty of children. She's always talking about how wonderful it'll be when she has her own grandchildren. Well… that's not going to happen. I'm not sure exactly what my mom will do or say when she finds out I'm gay, but she definitely won't be happy.
As much as that asshole Cartman deserved that punch in the jaw, I'm really starting to regret doing it to him. My life could possibly be turned around in a matter of hours… all because of one simple punch to Eric Cartman…
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