Sunday passed by very slowly. I didn't go out at all. I stayed in all day and mostly feared Monday. I know Cartman will tell everyone about my sexuality. My life will be changed.

Now it's Monday morning and I'm making my way towards the bus stop, walking slower than usual. When I finally arrive, Stan and Kenny are already there, chatting about Bebe's party.

"Kyle!" Kenny cries when he spots me.

"Hey, guys," I greet them.

"Kyle, where the hell did you go on Saturday?" asks Stan. "You left so early."

"Yeah, and so did Cartman. Is there something you two aren't telling us?" Kenny asks, smirking.

I roll my eyes and punch his arm. "Don't be stupid, Kenny. Bebe kicked Cartman out and I just left because I wasn't having fun."

"What!" Kenny cries, his voice higher-pitched than normal. "That party kicked ass! How could you not have fun?"

I shrug. "I guess I'm just not into parties. You guys already know that."

"But there was loads to do! It was awesome!" Kenny retorts, staring at me incredulously.

I shrug, not wanting to start an argument about that lame party.

After a minute of silence, Kenny and Stan return to their conversation on the party again and how 'awesome' it was. My mind begins to wander and I find myself lost in my own thoughts.

"Hey, fags," a familiar voice greets, though I'm still too lost in my thoughts to really notice him approach us at all.

"Kahl? Kaaahhll?" He clicks his fingers in front of my face and I jump, startled, and turn to see Cartman smirking at me. "You back on Earth now, Jew boy?"

I roll my eyes, honestly not in the mood to talk to him right now.

Suddenly a thought occurs to me and I tense up immediately, remembering about my secret Cartman's planning to tell everyone.

I glance at Stan and Kenny, thinking he'd probably tell them first, possibly now or on the bus. I then glance back at Cartman, seeing that he's studying me carefully, a small smirk on his face, as if he's just read my mind.

"Don't worry, Kahl," he whispers, taking a quick glance at Stan and Kenny to make sure they're not listening before resting his eyes on me again. "Everyone will know your secret soon enough, my dear Jew. Don't you worry."

His smirk widens and I scowl at him. My eyes catch the part of his jaw where I punched him. It's slightly bruised and red but that's basically it. It doesn't look as bad as it probably felt. I bet it hurt.

Cartman seems to catch me looking at the bruise and he cocks an eyebrow at me while his eyes narrow slightly. "Admiring what you did to me, Jew fag?"

My eyes look up to meet his and I have no idea what the expression on my face looks like, though I hope it looks apologetic. As much as I don't want to apologize to this annoying asshole, maybe if I do, he might reconsider telling everyone my secret. That's a very big might, but it's worth a try.

I exhale a sigh and meet his eyes again, gazing up at him. "Listen, Cartman, I'm really sorry about what I did to you. I should never have hurt you. That was… wrong. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

I keep my eyes locked on his - with difficulty, I might add - to try to look like I'm telling the truth. It seems to work because Cartman's eyes widen in surprise.

"W-what?" he asks, looking slightly dazed from the surprise and confusion.

"I'm sorry," I say, not bothering to repeat the whole thing.

He stares at me incredulously, his eyes widened and barely blinking, his mouth slightly parted. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from giggling at his expression.

"Kahl, are you high or something?" the fatass finally speaks.

I exhale an irritated sigh and raise an eyebrow at him. "No, Cartman. I'm not high. I'm just sorry. Do you accept my apology?"

He blinks twice, still seeming surprised, before shrugging. "I don't know, Kahl. How do I know you truly are sorry?"

I stare at him for a moment before shrugging myself. "Do you not trust me?"

He scoffs and chuckles. "Yeah right, Jew. Why the hell should I trust you? You're the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet!"

I hit a strong sense of deja-vu. Didn't I say those exact words to him the other day?

He suddenly frowns, seeming to realise this too. I suddenly giggle, earning a confused look from the brunet boy. He seems to understand my laughter after a brief pause and he chuckles too.

Suddenly we both burst out laughing, earning confused, curious looks from Stan and Kenny.

"What the hell are you two laughing at?" asks Stan, raising a questioning eyebrow.

I only shake my head, slowly collecting myself, and look in my best friend's direction. "Nothing," I reply, grinning.

Cartman gradually stops laughing also and smirks.

"Come on, guys. Why were you laughing?" Kenny whines, pouting childishly.

"Seriously, Kenny, it's nothing. In fact, I don't even know why we were laughing so hard!" I cry, giggling.

"Me either," Cartman pipes in, chuckling to himself.

Kenny and Stan exchange odd glances with each other before letting the whole thing go and carrying on with their previous conversation.

I glance back at Cartman and see him looking back, still chuckling. I quietly laugh with him before a thought strikes me.

Does Cartman accept my 'apology' or not? And is he going to spill my secret?

As if reading my mind, Cartman nudges my arm with his elbow and winks. "I'll think about it," he says quietly, grinning at me.

I stare at him, his cute expression causing a smile to tug at my lips. He winks again - why, I have no idea - until we both hear the sound of the bus arriving so we break eye contact.

We hop onto the bus behind Stan and Kenny and I'm about to check where Stan is sitting so I can sit next to him before I instantly see Kenny take my place beside Stan. I stare incredulously at my two friends, but they're too deep in conversation to notice.

I scowl and continue walking down the aisle until I reach an empty seat and sit down beside the window. I sigh and gaze out the window at the boring houses of South Park. As I wait for the bus to start moving, I absentmindedly gaze into the windows of the houses nearby.

My eyes suddenly begin to widen as I spot a bedroom window with the curtains wide open where I see two boys, possibly two or three years older than me, undressing each other, obviously getting ready to have sex. I can't seem to tear my eyes away from the sight and so watch the boys, fascinated.

"Hmm… jealous, Jew?"

I nearly jump out of my seat in fright and glance to my right to see Cartman seated beside me, his usual smirk on his face. I stare at him for a minute while I try to calm down my racing heart before I frown.

"How long were you there?" I ask.

"Long enough to witness you checking out those two guys in the window," he replies, chuckling.

I blush crimson and look down at my feet, embarrassed.

He chuckles again. I force my eyes to stay away from the window until the bus finally moves. I breathe a sigh of relief, earning a questioning look from Cartman, which I ignore.

I lean my head against the window and exhale deeply, watching with slight interest as condensation occurs and the window is no longer clear. I repeat this a couple of times as I wait for the bus to arrive at the school until I finally grow bored and stop. I only realise then that Cartman is staring at me, an odd expression on his face. I turn to look at him and frown in confusion.

"What?"

"You just have a weird way of entertaining yourself," he says, laughing.

I raise an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I was watching you breathe on the window and stare at it as if it's the most interesting thing in the world," he briefly explains.

I stare at him, feeling humiliated again, before letting out an embarrassed giggle. Cartman smirks at my girlish giggle and I grin.

"You're so weird, Jew," Cartman points out, still smirking but looking away.

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, and you're not?"

He glances at me again. "Yes, I'm not," he confirms, and I scoff.

"Yeah, of course not," I mutter sarcastically, laughing as he feigns anger.

He can't pull off his pretend glare for long as the corners of his lips curve upwards awkwardly until he gives in and grins widely.

We continue to laugh together at practically nothing until the bus finally arrives at South Park High.

Since Cartman and I are at the back, we're the last two off the bus and everyone's already walking up to the school.

"Those two assholes! They didn't even wait for us!" Cartman cries, referring to Stan and Kenny.

"I know. Let's just go."

The two of us start walking side-by-side up to the door of the school, only a few inches away from each other.

"So what's your first class today?" I ask Cartman, wanting to break the silence between us, although it's not actually awkward.

"Art," he replies briefly, sounding uninterested. "Yours?"

"Geography," I reply.

Suddenly, as I'm briefly thinking about Cartman in Art class, a thought strikes me.

"Hey, Cartman?"

He glances sideways at me. "Yeah, Jew?"

"Remember that day we both had detention?" I ask.

He smirks at the memory. "Yeah. That supervising teacher has fucking anger issues!"

I nod in agreement. "Well, remember why you got detention?"

He nods. "Why?"

"I remember you were going to show me the art project that you failed but you thought was actually good."

"What's your fucking point, Jew?" he asks impatiently.

"I want to see it," I state simply, smiling.

His eyes widen slightly but if he really is surprised, he masks it well. "Why?" he asks me, cocking an eyebrow.

I shrug. "I'm just curious, is all. I want to see what something you actually worked on looks like." I smirk and he shoots me a glare, to my surprise.

"You can't see it," he says.

"What?" I ask, unsure if I heard him right.

"You can't see it," he repeats simply, his voice stern.

"Why not?" I ask, disappointed.

"You just can't," he replies, as if that's a knowledgeable answer.

"But you were going to show me it before. Why not now?" I ask.

"Kahl, just drop it, alright?" he snaps. "I just don't want you to see it, okay?"

"But before you-"

"No, even then I wasn't going to show you," he interrupts. "I was bluffing. I was going to pull out something else from my bag, dumbass!"

"Oh," I reply, slightly hurt and disappointed. I'm curious as to what he drew. "Will you at least tell me what you drew?"

"No, Kahl. Just let it go, will you?" he asks impatiently.

I exhale a defeated sigh and reluctantly drop the subject. We walk on ahead and just before we walk though the front door of the school, Cartman places a hand on my arm, causing me to glance at him curiously.

"I just want you to know that I won't tell anyone your secret, Kahl," he says and I feel a smile light up my face. "For now," he adds, grinning deviously.

I stare at him in shock, my mouth hanging open.

He chuckles before removing his hand and opening the door, allowing me to walk in ahead of him. I flash him a scowl before entering the school.

Cartman walks in after me and we head to our lockers, our lockers being pretty close to each others because of alphabetical order.

I enter my combination code and swing open the metal door before taking out the books I need for my first few classes.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The start of the day finishes up pretty quickly. It's finally break and I go to my locker to get the next few books I need. As I'm just finishing up, a hand is placed on my shoulder and I jump.

"Stan, don't do that. You nearly gave me a heart attack," I say, without looking back.

"Uhh… I'm not Stan," a voice says, definitely not Stan's.

I stand up straight and glance back over my shoulder. "Oh. Uhh… hey, Clyde," I greet the brown-haired boy, surprised to see him.

"Hey. Uh, I was just wondering… is the rumour true?" he asks, looking kind of awkward.

I frown. "What rumour?"

"You know… the one about you," he says, staring at the floor, looking kind of embarrassed.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about. What rumour?" I ask, feeling extremely confused.

"The… the one-"

"H-hey, Kyle!" cries a familiar, irritating voice, owned by Butters, interrupting Clyde.

"Hey, Butters," I greet the blonde boy politely as he approaches me and Clyde.

"I-is it true?" he asks.

"Is what true?" I ask, exasperated, eying both the blonde boy and the brunet boy in front of me.

"The rumour!" Butters cries, his face full of curiosity.

"What fucking rumour?" I shout, startling the two boys in front of me. I notice a few people looking over at me from nearby, staring at me curiously.

I sigh and take a deep breath before softening my voice. "I'm sorry. Just please tell me what you guys are talking about."

"The rumour about you being g-gay," Butters tells me, and I feel my mouth drop open and my eyes widen like saucers.

"W-what?" I ask quietly, almost losing my voice from my shock.

"W-well, is it true that y-you're gay?" Butters asks again and I stare between the two boys in front of me for God knows how long.

Clyde eventually gets bored and exhales a sigh before walking off, without a word.

Butters stares back at me, a look of anxiety on his face. "K-Kyle, are you okay?"

I force myself out of my trance and force a small smile at Butters. "Yeah, I'm fine, Butters. I… uhh… I got to get to class. See you later."

Before he can speak again, I quickly push past him and start heading down the hall, not even sure if I'm heading the right way. My mind is wandering. All I can think about is my secret. I feel fury build up inside me as a familiar brunet boy enters my vision.

He's a few yards ahead of me, heading towards History, with Heidi and Annie walking on both sides of him, possibly flirting.

I glare daggers at the back of Cartman's head, feeling rage bubble up inside me. That stupid fat asshole told me he'd keep my secret! He said he wouldn't tell anybody! He… lied to me.

I feel extremely hurt at his actions, though I'm not sure why. Sure, he lied to me, but he's Eric Cartman! He lies all the time, to me especially. Like I said before, he's the most untrustworthy person on the entire planet. I should have expected him to do this. So why am I so surprised?

Is it because this time I actually thought I could trust him? Because I thought he meant what he said this one time? But why? Why did I think I could trust him this time, when I knew every other time to not ever place my trust in him? Why was this time different?

Maybe it's because we… we're actually starting to get along lately. Sure we still have our occasional bickering about something stupid and unimportant, but the insults we've thrown at each other recently have only ever been half-hearted. We don't truly mean what we say anymore.

And we've been acting more like friends than enemies recently. We've had our loud laughing fits at things that weren't even that funny and we've sat together on the bus. We actually mainly talked instead of arguing these past few days. And we've had fun.

And Cartman did save me from losing my virginity to that slut Bebe, though he still never told me why.

So, recently, Cartman and I have grown. We are now friends instead of enemies, and we're more mature with our arguments.

Or so I'd thought…

But now everything I thought about Cartman from recent events have gone. Now I see him as I used to before a few weeks ago. He's now that same racist, cruel, vengeful, evil asshole who everyone hates. He's a lying bastard who doesn't deserve to live. I want him dead. I want him to die a slow, painful death right before my eyes, so I can watch with joy as the life he's led slowly leaves those dark menacing eyes of his.

He deserves it so much. He made my heart yearn for him more than ever from how he's been acting around me lately. But now I feel my heart being crushed, as if someone's holding it and gripping it tightly between their fingers.

My whole life is going to change now, for the worse. Everyone will rip on me and I'll never find peace. My mom will be furious and she'll possibly beat me for being how I am. This town doesn't believe in peace. The word 'peace' is almost unknown in South Park.

By the end of this year, I'll have possibly no way to handle it anymore. I'll have suicidal thoughts every day until the day finally arrives where I can't go through my life anymore… and I'll kill myself.

All because of that fat asshole who has stolen my heart and then destroyed it.

Eric Cartman, why do you do this to me? I haven't a clue. But I really want you to know that I absolutely hate that I somehow love you…

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. Sorry for slow updates by the way.

OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE LAST NEW EPISODE OF THE FIRST HALF OF SEASON 16? If you haven't, I won't spoil it for you. BUT OH MY GOD, IT'S PERFECT.

Kyman is practically canon, okay? That's all I'm saying. I'M SO HAPPY!

Ahem, anyway… review please! xxxx