One month later…

This last month has been… pretty strange, in a good way or bad way, I'm not yet sure. I can only guess that in time it'll eventually become good.

Cartman has surprisingly listened to me and has stayed as far away from me as possible. He hasn't spoken a word to me or even looked at me since that day I told him I wanted him out of my life. He's been acting as if I don't exist.

He hasn't even spoken to Stan or Kenny either, probably because they're my best friends and if he's pretending I don't exist, it'd be easier to pretend they don't either.

At first, Stan and Kenny were confused at his actions but I told them not to ask questions and to just enjoy the freedom from the annoying fatass. They agreed and haven't mentioned him since.

Having Cartman ignoring the three of us like this is definitely new and I still don't feel quite used to it yet. I still can't really grasp the fact that he's gone forever, out of my life.

Well of course he's still there, in class and in the halls and stuff, but he won't ever acknowledge me again, so it's like he's gone for good.

Though he doesn't, and won't anymore, acknowledge me, I still can't seem to do the same to him. When I see him in the hallway or at his locker, I can't help but stare at him. And during our classes together, I sometimes catch myself unwillingly looking in his direction, half-hoping he'll look back at me, despite everything that's happened.

It's now lunch time and Stan, Kenny and I are just finished getting our food in the lunch line. We take our seats at our usual table and start eating, breaking into a casual conversation soon enough.

During the conversation, I find myself tuning out and my eyes absentmindedly scan through the cafeteria, not looking for anything in particular.

My eyes suddenly spot someone and rest on that person, though my mind is screaming at me to quickly look away.

A good few tables away from us, Eric Cartman is sitting alone, eating quietly while his eyes stay downcast, not moving away from the table surface as he munches on his ham sandwich.

I squint my eyes to see better and can clearly see the look of sadness on his face. He doesn't make it particularly obvious but for someone who's known him his whole life, I've learned to mostly be able to read his emotions, even if he doesn't always make them clear. He's lonely and it's obvious that no one wants to sit with him, considering who he is.

I suddenly feel my heart swell painfully and I feel a feeling of guilt wash over me. This is my fault. Cartman is sitting alone at a lunch table, and also hanging around the whole school, by himself with absolutely no one to talk to. I'm pretty sure this is the first time he's sat in the cafeteria in a long while. For the past month, he's been elsewhere during lunch time, though I've no clue where.

I know somewhere at the back of my mind that he probably deserves this, but I still can't help feeling guilty.

I don't necessarily want to go over there and talk to Cartman myself. I just want at least one person to talk to him and hang out with him occasionally, so at least he won't be feeling lonely.

"Kyle? Kyle, are you okay?"

I tear my eyes away from the painful sight to glance at my two friends, both staring at me curiously.

I look at my best friend, who spoke. "Yeah, Stan, I'm fine."

"Dude, why were you staring at Cartman?" Kenny asks me, a look of confusion and slight amusement on his face.

I shrug. "I was just lost in thought," I answer, partly true since I was deep in thought, even if all my thoughts were on Cartman.

Kenny shrugs and lets it go, going back to talk about whatever it is he was talking about before. Stan joins in.

My eyes unwillingly fly back to Cartman and I almost gasp out loud when I see that he's gone. Without thinking, I quickly shoot my head around the room in a desperate attempt to find him.

I soon spot him heading out of the cafeteria and I mentally breathe a sigh of relief, just to see him again. I haven't a clue where he's going and, for some reason, I'm dying to find out. But I can't. It would ruin everything.

Cartman and I are supposed to pretend the other didn't exist, and Cartman is doing a perfect job of that while I'm failing miserably, despite the fact I was the one who came up with the idea.

"Kyle, dude, seriously what's wrong?" Stan asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing. I'm fine," I quickly reply, flashing him a smile to hopefully convince him.

He gives me an odd look before looking away and finishing his lunch.

The bell soon rings and I jump up from my seat a little too eagerly. Stan and Kenny shoot me odd looks.

"I want to get to class early to look over something," I tell them quickly. "Bye."

I don't wait for them to reply. I rush out of the cafeteria quickly, confused at myself at why I wanted to get out of there so fast. I only realise as I turn a corner that I don't even know what class I have now.

"Fuck," I mutter quickly under my breath.

I stop walking and exhale a sigh, taking off my schoolbag to look for my timetable inside it. I quickly start to panic as I realise that my timetable is nowhere to be seen. My eyes widen slowly and I bite my lower lip in frustration.

Without a moment's hesitation, I throw my schoolbag back onto my back and run down the hall, trying to find Stan or Kenny to tell me what class I'm in before they're gone and I'm late.

I turn the corner, still running at top-speed, before I suddenly cry out as I barrel into someone, knocking them backwards with me falling on top of them.

I'm in a daze as I land on top of them and it takes me a few seconds to focus on the person underneath me.

"C-Cartman?" I cry, completely surprised.

He's in more of a daze than me since the back of his head hit the hard floor, so it takes him a few extra seconds to focus on me.

"K-Kahl?" he cries, sounding just as surprised as me.

"… Hi," I reply, suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

"Hey…" he trails off, sounding distant.

We stare at each other, our eyes locked, for God knows how long, before I feel a smile slowly spread across my face. Cartman's face is so close to mine and I suddenly feel a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Just being this close to him makes me realise how much I've missed him.

Seeing him look at me again and hearing him say my name causes my heartbeat to accelerate quickly, and I feel myself beaming with joy as I gaze into those familiar eyes I love so much.

Cartman grins back at me, also looking almost overjoyed, before he quickly masks the grin with a look of indifference.

"I… uhh…" I begin, trying to break the silence but realising I don't know what to say.

His grin returns and he doesn't seem to mask it again.

"Umm… I should, uh, probably get off you," I say awkwardly, grinning sheepishly.

He chuckles. "Yeah, you should."

I blush and slowly get off of Cartman's warm body and stand on my feet again. I hold out my hand and he eyes me while taking a hold of my hand firmly.

I use all the strength I have to haul the larger boy to his feet and when he has his balance, he gives me an odd look, as if he's impressed.

"Wow, I didn't know you were that strong, Jew," he comments, and my cheeks redden more in response.

I suddenly, out of nowhere, breathe a sigh of relief and contentment, surprising the brunet boy. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear Cartman call me 'Jew' ever in my life, but I am now!

"Cartman…" I breathe, saying his name as if it's the most amazing thing I've ever heard, not caring that he's right there and has obviously heard me say his name just for the sake of saying it.

Cartman seems both surprised and amused at this and smirks. Without thinking, I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

I hear Cartman gasp in shock and he hesitates a long while before slowly wrapping his arms around my waist, hugging me back.

I smile and close my eyes over his shoulder, my heart fluttering pleasantly at his touch.

We finally break the hug and Cartman cocks a questioning eyebrow at me.

"Why did you hug me?" he asks simply.

I lock eyes with him, smiling, and shrug.

"I guess I just missed you," I reply honestly, smiling wider as his two eyebrows shoot up, surprised at my answer.

"You… you missed me?" he asks, shocked.

I nod, still smiling, before suddenly feigning hurt. "Did you not miss me, Cartman?" I ask, shooting him a pretend hurt look.

He smirks and chuckles, clearly amused. "Yes, my dear Jew. Of course I did."

It's my turn to give him a surprised look and he smirks in response.

"Y-you mean it?" I ask hopefully, smiling again.

His smirk is replaced by a genuinely friendly smile, one I'd love to see more often on his face. "Yes, Kahl. I really did miss you."

I smile wider and, again, my heart flutters inside my chest, proving my love for him to myself, though he, of course, still doesn't know.

"So what do we do now?" he asks softly, taking a step towards me and smiling down at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He scowls. "Do we continue doing what we were doing - pretending the other doesn't exist - or do we go back and be friends-slash-enemies again?"

I stare at him blankly, allowing his words to sink in before debating which one.

Of course I don't want him to go back ignoring me again; I can't go through that again after hugging him now. But Stan and Kenny seem a lot happier without him, and I know they'd be really curious and confused if I allowed Cartman to come back.

Also, I honestly don't want to be friends or enemies with him. I want to be so much more, now more than ever.

Now that I've realised how empty my life without Cartman truly is, I need him. I need him with me, more often than he used to be. I have the need to kiss him right now. I want him to hold me.

I want to tell him how I feel…

"Kahl? Are you okay?" he asks, breaking my train of thought.

I look up and meet his eyes again, absorbed in them.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply.

"So have you made a decision?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Go on! Tell him! Tell him how you feel!

My mind screams at me to tell him, and as scared as I am, I can't argue with my irritating conscience any longer.

I take a deep breath and let it out silently, keeping my eyes locked on Cartman's.

"Cartman?"

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"I…"

"Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman!" a voice yells from nearby, startling the two of us.

We turn in unison and spot Ms Clarke a few yards away from us, her arms folded across her small chest and her dark eyes staring the two of us down.

"What are you two doing out of class?" she shouts, narrowing her eyes.

My eyes suddenly widen and I glance quickly down at my watch, starting to panic when I realise we're nearly twenty minutes late for class. I gasp in shock and glance at Cartman worriedly before looking back at Ms Clarke.

"Uh, I'm so sorry we're late, Ms Clarke," I say politely. "I didn't realise the time and-"

"And Kyle hurt his ankle," Cartman adds, interrupting me and earning a confused glance from me. "He tripped and really hurt his ankle. He can barely walk. I was thinking I'd carry him outside and bring him home. He doesn't live too far away."

Ms Clarke eyes me up and down. "He seems okay to me."

"I can stand okay," I reply quickly before Cartman can. "But I can't walk. Can I please go home?"

She stares at me for a few minutes before nodding. "Alright. Take him home, Eric. But you must promise that once he's home, you'll return straight away."

"I promise," Cartman replies, amazingly locking gazes with her, despite the fact he's lying. It's amazing how good of a liar he is. If I was Ms Clarke, I'd also believe him without a doubt with that innocent look of his.

"Alright. You may go," she says.

I hold back a smile and I see Cartman do the same. Ms Clarke walks off and we both exchange wide grins before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"That was awesome!" Cartman cries, chuckling.

"Yeah. You're so good at lying and making up things that it's almost unbelievable!" I cry, giggling.

Cartman chuckles again before grinning. "Well let's go."

I suddenly frown. "Whoa, wait what?" I ask.

"I'm taking you 'home,'" he replies, bending his two index fingers at the word 'home.'

"Wait, I thought we were just saying that to get out of trouble," I answer.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You thought wrong, my little Jew. We're getting out of this shithole. You coming or not?"

I start to recall the first time we skipped class together and I remember it didn't turn out well…

"I don't know. Last time-"

"Kahl, please," he interrupts me, his voice soft but slightly stern. "I promise this time will be better. There'll be no arguing, no fighting. We'll just have fun."

I scoff. "Oh yeah? And how are you going to make sure we don't fight?" I ask playfully, already making my decision.

He smirks. "If we start to fight, I'll slap you, you slap me and we'll stop."

I laugh aloud. "Alright, deal."

I feel a smile appear on my face as his face lights up.

"So you're coming?" he asks, just making sure.

I nod. "You're going to have to help me though. My ankle's still pretty sore."

He chuckles and flashes me a grin before sidling up to me, causing my heartbeat to increase.

"Don't worry. I'll help you, you poor weak little Jew." He smirks and I punch his arm lightly, trying to glare at him though only managing laughter.

Without expecting it, Cartman wraps his arm around my shoulders and holds onto my arm closest to him with his free hand, pretending to help me.

My temperature sky rockets at his touch and I feel my cheeks burn.

He chuckles again and I look away, trying desperately to hide my reddened face from his view, without much success. He releases my arm to place his fingers softly around my chin so he can turn my face towards him.

I meet his eyes and gasp. God dammit, his face is so close, the closest it's ever been to mine! Those eyes… they're so dazzling. And those lips… are so tempting. Oh god, he's killing me right now! I just need to move a couple of centimetres forward and…

No, keep control. I must remain in control.

Kissing him now, without knowing how he really feels about me, could destroy the friendship we've just regained, and I don't want to lose him.

Reluctantly, I force myself to tear my eyes away from his, moving away again, feeling awkward. Cartman releases my chin and lets me look away. He then moves his hands away from me altogether, to my secret disappointment. I liked the warm touch of his skin…

"Uh, let's go then," he says awkwardly.

I nod and smile up at him. We head quietly to the back door of the school and slip outside without being seen.

Grinning widely, the two of us exit the school grounds, sighing with relief that we escaped unseen, not in the mood to explain to teachers how I 'hurt' my ankle.

"So where are we really going?" I ask curiously.

Cartman glances down at me, grinning. "My house."

I blink slowly before shrugging. "Okay, sure."

I was expecting us to go somewhere a bit more exciting, but I guess his house is alright.

We walk together down the familiar streets of South Park, watching absentmindedly as the regular snow comes down, many unique snowflakes clear in sight.

I giggle as a snowflake lands on my nose and melts into my skin, causing a small cool sensation there.

I absently glance up at Cartman and notice loads of snowflakes stuck in his messy brown hair. I feel the urge to run my hand through and remove the snow, but I restrain myself.

We walk in a comfortable silence and reach his house in a matter of minutes. Cartman opens the front door and walks in ahead of me. I absently notice his mom's car isn't in the driveway but I don't ask about it.

We head inside. I gaze around the place, noticing nothing's changed since the last time I've been here. I shrug off my coat and hang it up over Cartman's. He doesn't seem to notice and instead leads me into the living room where his Xbox is left on from the last time he played.

I recognize instantly that it's Nazi Zombies on 'Call of Duty.'

"Wanna play?" he asks, shoving a controller in my hand before I can answer.

I nod anyway and take a seat next to him on the sofa. He starts the game again and we begin.

I quickly get absorbed in the game as my character runs through the building shooting every zombie in sight, killing dozens.

As my character runs through the building, I notice Cartman's character following me, seeming to be watching my back. I smile at the screen, finding it sweet that Cartman's looking out for me, even if it is just in the game.

Finally Cartman's character gets killed by a large mass of zombies and Cartman smacks his leg in anger. My character doesn't live much longer after that, having no Cartman to protect me any longer, and I die less than five minutes later.

"Hard luck," Cartman says, grinning. "I guess you're not too good when you're all by yourself in a house full of zombies."

"Shut up. I lived longer than you!" I reply, smirking.

He scoffs. "That's only 'cause I was protecting your sorry ass for the entire game, Jew!" he says, chuckling when I frown.

"Why?" I ask.

He gives me a blank look. "Why what?"

"Why were you protecting me throughout the game?" I ask.

He blinks, staring at me blankly. He then shrugs. "I don't know. I guess I just needed you alive to-"

He suddenly goes quiet as he's interrupted by a loud, growling noise that erupts from my stomach, confusing him momentarily.

We stare at each other for a brief moment before we both burst into laughter, throwing our heads back in unison.

"What the fuck was that?" he cries through laughter, joyful tears pricking his eyes.

I laugh louder. "I'm hungry! It's not my fault!"

He wipes his tears from his eyes and gradually controls his laughter, still softly chuckling breathlessly.

I control my own laughter too and we grin at each other.

"You and your freaky Jew noises," he says, shaking his head while smirking.

I punch him feebly in the arm and he laughs again. "Well I guess I better go get you something to eat," he says, grinning at me while getting to his feet. "Anything in particular that you want?"

"No," I smile back. "Thanks."

He winks, sending my heart into a wild joyful rampage, and then heads into the kitchen, leaving me by myself for a while.

As I lean back on the cosy sofa and close my tired eyes, my mind begins to wander. I start to think back over the last few weeks.

A thought suddenly occurs to me and I sigh sadly. Today I was just so happy to see Cartman again and talk to him again that I didn't even think about why I stopped hanging out with him in the first place…

Cartman started that rumour around the school about me being gay. He's the reason I'm being ripped on and treated differently these days. It's all his fault…

Why am I acting this way around him? Why did I hug him today and tell him I've missed him? Why did I laugh and mess with him only moments ago? Why am I in his house playing video games with him?

I'm treating him more like a friend than ever before, despite everything. If anything, I should hate him more than I did. How am I acting this way towards him?

Seconds later, Cartman enters the room again, carrying two plates and handing me one before sitting next to me.

"It's a tortilla," he tells me as he sits. "There's nothing you're not able to eat in it, don't worry. Everything in there is 100% Kahl-friendly."

He smiles at me and I mumble a quick thanks, barely even looking at my plate, too wrapped up in my own thoughts. From the corner of my eye, I see a slightly hurt look cross Cartman's face as he notices me barely looking at the food he so kindly prepared for me. I feel like such an asshole.

I quickly look down at the wrap and then smile up at Cartman. "It looks delicious," I say, and he grins.

I take a bite and smile happily. It really is tasty. I practically wolf the first few bites down before I slow down a bit.

Cartman watches me as I eat, seeming to be proud of his food, and I glance back at him. We eat in silence until both of our plates are clean and we lean back on the sofa, feeling quite full, breathing softly.

In the silence between us, my mind again reminds me of what Cartman did to me all those weeks ago, ruining my close-to-perfect life in school.

I glance at him, seeing his eyes closed as he breathes softly.

"Cartman?"

He cracks open an eye briefly before closing it again. "Mm?"

"Umm… can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he mumbles quickly, still leaving his eyes closed.

"Uh, remember that rumour from-"

He opens both his eyes instantly and stares at me, eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Kahl, please don't start this again. I'm not in the mood."

"Well I don't really want to talk about it either!" I cry, then exhale a sigh. "But we have to."

He groans. "No, we fucking don't, Kahl. Drop it. Right now."

I frown. "No, Cartman! We do need to talk about it! I don't know why I did it, but for some reason I accepted you back as a friend today without even thinking about what you did to me in the first place! But now I've been thinking about it and we need to talk about this!"

"This is myhouse, Kahl! My house!" Cartman suddenly snaps, his voice sharper than I expected. "If I say we're not talking about it, then we don't!"

"Fucking hell, Cartman!" I cry. "Why won't you talk about it?"

"Because I don't want to, you fucking Jew!" he shouts, glaring at me. "Is that so hard to understand?"

"There has to be an actual reason why you refuse to talk about it!" I cry. "Is it because you're too afraid to admit that you started it? Is that it? Well, Cartman!"

"God dammit, Kahl! I did not start that fucking rumour! If you say that I did again, I'll break your neck!"

"Why won't you just admit it?" I shout. "I'm sick of your lies. Why can't you just tell me the truth for once in your life? Your cruel, sick life!"

"Don't," he snaps, his voice venomous. "Don't even go there, you filthy Jew! You know nothing about my life! Nothing."

"I know plenty about your life!" I disagree. "I know you're a fat sick asshole who loves only himself and no one else, and who lives with your dirty whore of a mother who cares nothing about you, and I know the only way for you to be happy is to cause others pain and be hated by everyone! You thrive on people's hatred towards you! You're a sick fuck and I hate you!"

I scream the last part and I slam my balled-up fist on the table in front of me as I glare hatefully at Cartman, who stares back, eyes dark and narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Get out of here, Kahl," he says, his dark eyes pinned on me, his voice low and icy, sending a range of goose bumps across my arms.

I linger my glare on him for a moment longer before I get to my feet, feeling my anger pierce my veins as I stare at him, before I avert my gaze and stomp out of the room, my glare never faltering.

I reach the front door and don't hesitate to exit the house, this most likely being the last time I'll ever set foot inside this mess of a house, belonging to a child no less evil than the devil himself.

I slam the door behind me, causing a loud bang, which the neighbours could surely hear. I then make my way towards the front of the garden.

I notice, at the corner of my eye, as I reach the end of the small garden that a large, colourful piece of paper is sticking out from underneath the lid of Cartman's green bin. I blink slowly, watching as the wind threatens to take it from the bin and let it soar through the air, ending up somewhere and littering a street as it blows across the ground.

I sigh and approach the bin, carefully taking out the piece of paper to throw it in properly. My eyes absently take a glimpse at the paper and I suddenly freeze.

I release the lid of the bin and hold the sheet of paper with both hands, trying to keep it straight as the strong wind whips against it, curling the corners and threatening to knock it from my hands.

I manage to hold it tightly and my widening eyes cast over the entire sheet, my mouth slowly dropping open as I study it thoroughly.

At the top of the sheet, written in black pen, are the words: 'My Art Project' by Eric Cartman.

Just below the words is a large red 'F' written by the Art teacher.

Below that… is the actual picture. The picture, drawn perfectly by Cartman, shows a boy, small and slim, wearing denim jeans and an orange jacket. He's sitting down on the snowy ground in front of Stark's Pond, under the bright moonlight. The boy is staring my way, smiling beautifully while his large green eyes glisten under the light of the moon.

Atop his head is a green ushanka, slightly falling off his head as his head is tilted slightly to the left, revealing curly red hair underneath…

Below the picture the words, written in bright blue marker, read:

'Project Theme: My life.

Drawing description: Kyle Broflovski.

Evaluation: Kyle Broflovski is my life.'

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. I really loved writing it. Well, I love writing this whole story but this chapter in particular was a lot of fun!

It's my summer holidays now. Three months of freedom! So hopefully I'll update this more often.

Review please. xxx