Disclaimer: If something is copyrighted...i don't own it. however, my dog's name is Sora and yes, my dog is adorable.
8. You find a way to mention them in every conversation, and don't even realise that you're doing it.
"Could this be out of line?
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
you're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously."
-Acceptance_So Contagious
"Watching a movie and then having dinner afterwards is what we always do."
"EXACTLY. It's what we always do."
"There's nothing wrong with routine."
"We're stuck in a freaking rut."
"Rut is such a strange word..."
"We need to shake things up a little."
"And what do you suggest we do then?"
"A club maybe?"
"I hate clubs, you guys just get drunk and then I'm left to fend for myself."
"Fine, let's go watch a movie then, grandpa."
"That's what I said in the first place. And...Don't call me grandpa."
Roxas sat and organized the grains of sugar that he had poured onto the table into neat lines. A smile twitched at his lips as the argument that his friends were engaged in progressed.
It was always like this.
Whenever they managed to coordinate their busy schedules so that they could all spend time together, most of the evening was spent in petty bickering when no one could decide on what they wanted to do. They ended up watching a movie and having dinner afterwards every time, but the arguments still continued.
Roxas loved his crazy group of friends, but their indecisiveness was astounding.
Hayner leaned back in the plush seat that they were all seated on and sighed. "You guys know that I love you all, right? But you're all so boring. Let's shake things up a little."
Olette delicately raised an eyebrow and took a long sip from her strawberry milkshake. "The last time that we tried to 'shake things up' Pence almost got kidnapped by a drag queen."
At the mention of his name, Pence started turning a bright shade of red and sank down into his seat.
Larxene snorted at Olette's comment and retorted, pointing her chocolate milkshake coated straw in Olette's direction as she spoke. "It wouldn't have been kidnapping, Pence looked as if he was willing to consensually go with Rolanda."
Pence sank deeper into his seat with a mutter. "He made a very convincing girl."
"Or you're harbouring homosexual tendencies," Larxene replied, grinning around her straw before she took a long sip of the thick, chocolate flavoured drink. She groaned. "This place makes the best milkshakes ever."
Roxas took a sip of his own coffee flavoured milkshake and spoke up, brushing the grains of sugar off of the table and wincing when most of it ended up on his lap. "Are there any good movies out at the moment?"
"I was actually thinking that we could all go watch the new alien movie, the trailers for that looked pretty cool." Pence replied, sitting up and fiddling with his headband. His black hair stuck up even worse than usual at the back from where it had been pressed up against the red vinyl of the seats.
"Oh!" Roxas exclaimed, "Axel actually mentioned that movie to me a few days ago. We should watch it...he seemed pretty amped to see it."
Larxene sent Roxas a weird look but before she could open her mouth and voice whatever it was that she was planning to say, Demyx spoke up from his place at their table.
"Guuuuuys," the older blonde whined, looking around the cafe and grimacing, "did we have to come here? I work here, the last thing I want to do is hang out here as well."
Larxene patted his head distractedly, making the weird mullet slash Mohawk that Demyx sported even weirder.
"Oh shush, Demyx dear. Did you not hear me earlier? This place makes the most amazing milkshakes ever. Don't you get an employee's discount as well anyway?"
Demyx pouted into his giant mug of coffee, "I do. But it's still torture."
Roxas grinned, taking a giant bite out of his double chocolate chip muffin, "suck it up, bro." he said, his mouth still full.
After a short silence Hayner looked at the watch on his wrist and looked over at Roxas, "Are Axel and Naminé still planning on joining us?"
Roxas nodded, washing down his mouthful of muffin with a gulp of milkshake, "Axel said that they'd probably be a little late because Naminé had a late class today or something. Though we better leave once they get here, Axel prefers the back seats in the theatre and you know that those are normally like the first to go."
Larxene smirked, leaning in closer to Roxas from her seat across the table from him, "Have you ever realised how much you speak about Axel?"
Roxas's eyes widened and he spluttered, "I do not!"
Demyx laughed, all earlier unhappiness regarding his place of work forgotten now that the opportunity to tease Roxas presented itself. "Yes you do. I bet you don't even realise you're doing it."
"He's just my best friend, I speak about him as much as I should," he paused, picking at the crumbs that his muffin had left on the table and watching as the brown specks stuck to his fingers, "Get off my case, go back to teasing Pence and his hidden homosexual lust."
"Actually, could we maybe not-"Pence started, swirling his straw in his glass of soda broodingly.
"Just your best friend?" Larxene cackled, interrupting Pence's protest to the change in topic. Roxas raised an eyebrow at her in enquiry as she fell back into her seat, her laugh echoing off the walls of the small cafe and causing some of the cafe's patrons to turn and look at her in annoyance. The group of friends paid no heed to the people who were glaring at them, instead, Roxas questioned Larxene impatiently.
"What's so funny about the fact that I called Axel my best friend?" He snapped.
"You and Axel were never 'just' best friends," This time it was Hayner who spoke up, a small smirk curling onto his lips as he glanced over at his infuriated friend, "we're glad that you finally figured it out and accepted it, now we're just waiting for Axel to come to his senses."
XxXx
Axel had his lips attached to the side of Roxas's throat and his hands were steadily working at trying to inch the black and white checked t-shirt, that Roxas was wearing, off of the blonde's anatomy. Roxas felt a gasp leave his kiss bruised lips and he tangled his hands deeper into Axel's red hair in retaliation to the red-head's ministrations on his throat. As his fingers gently scratched at Axel's scalp and his back arched closer to the hand that was travelling up the front of his shirt, short nails scratching their way across his skin, Roxas suddenly realised that he had to ask Axel about something.
"W-we don't talk about each other that much, do we?"
"What'd you mean?" Axel didn't even bother to remove his lips from Roxas's skin, choosing to instead murmur his answer against it.
Roxas was finding it really hard to concentrate but he had to have this conversation now or he would most likely forget all about it later and the whole issue would remain totally unsolved.
"I mean...ahh," he groaned realising that no coherent thought was going to form in his mind when Axel still had his lips attached to his skin like that. He brought his hands up to Axel's face so that he could look into the pair of green eyes that he loved so much. Not that he would admit that to Axel. A statement like that would probably send Axel running out of his own apartment as he mumbled apologies of the situation feeling way too real again, "Larxene and company were just teasing me the other day about the fact that I speak about you constantly and don't even realise that I'm doing it. According to them, I mean."
Axel smiled, pressing a light kiss onto Roxas's nose and laughing when Roxas scrunched up his nose in annoyance, "well, that makes me happy."
"It does?" Roxas asked, brushing a stray lock of hair off of Axel's forehead and smoothing the rest of that untameable red hair back.
"Uh huh," Axel replied, his hands once again travelling up Roxas shirt where they began to trace lazy circles on his back.
"And why is that?" Roxas murmured.
"Because it means that you think of me almost as much as I think of you."
XxXx
Axel walked into the kitchen of the apartment that he shared with Demyx, his eyes widening in surprise when he spotted his roommate leaning against the kitchen counter.
"You're up before noon on a Saturday?" Axel asked, walking over to the cabinet so that he could locate the instant coffee. Instant coffee was awful, but neither of them had the patience for a coffee maker, "is something wrong?"
Demyx looked uneasy, his teeth were worrying his bottom lip and he was wringing his hands. His eyes, when he finally looked up from staring at the ground, were bruised and tired looking indicating that he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.
"Axel...I know that we have a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy in our roommate agreement," Axel smiled at the Big Bang Theory reference as he filled his mug with water from the kitchen tap.
"What about it?" he asked, placing the mug of water into the microwave.
When there was no reply to his question, Axel turned around to see that Demyx had his eyes firmly closed and an expression of something that looked a lot like pain was evident on his features.
"I can't keep pretending that it's not Roxas in that room with you."
There was a pause as Axel took in his friend's uncomfortable state, then he turned and removed his mug from the microwave before the timer had reached the zero mark.
"Oh."
Demyx finally opened his eyes, his previous state of awkwardness replaced with annoyance.
"Oh? That's seriously all you have to say for yourself?"
"What else do you want me to say?" Axel replied, shrugging nonchalantly as he spooned instant coffee into his mug, watching as the clear water dissolved the granules until the liquid in his mug looked almost black. His distorted reflection stared back at him, the complete indifference visible on his face shocking even him.
"Something more than just 'oh'!" Demyx exclaimed, "do you even realise what you're doing? Do you even care?"
When it became apparent that Axel was not going to attempt to answer his question, Demyx continued.
"I barely know Naminé, but I hate what you're doing to her. No one deserves to be cheated on, Axel. Especially not someone as sweet as she is. And Roxas..." at this Demyx dragged his hands down his face in exasperation, "fucking hell, Roxas. Do you even realise how much he loves you? No, of course you don't. I'm not even entirely certain that he realises how much he loves you."
Demyx started when he heard Axel speak, the red-head's voice so quiet that the sentence was almost missed.
"Where are you going with this?"
"Axel...why are you still with Naminé? End it. You...you want Roxas so why are complicating everything?" Demyx pleaded, the anger in his voice had faded.
"Because Roxas is a guy." Axel replied, sounding so broken and hurt that Demyx wanted to end the discussion, drop his bad guy persona and just hug the sadness out of his friend.
"Being gay isn't the end of the world, Axel."
"You don't understand Demyx," Axel clutched at the rapidly cooling mug of coffee that was in his grasp, the tips of fingers turning white from the pressure that he was applying to them. He shook his head, desperation leaking through his words as he tried to reason with Demyx, his voice cracked but he paid no attention to it, not even caring about the fact that he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. Tears that he didn't remember crying. He took a deep breath and tried to force his voice into something steadier, "I'm not like you. I can't just scream 'Fuck the world' and happily come out the closet!"
"Yes you can! You think it was easy for me? But I'm happy now, because I'm not lying to myself anymore." Demyx cried, "And you aren't just lying to yourself. You're lying to Naminé, and fucking with Roxas's feelings. It's not just about you anymore."
The mug of coffee was placed on the counter and Axel almost wanted to laugh at the trivial action. How dare that mug of coffee just sit there on the counter, looking so simple and uncomplicated when everything around him was turning into a fucking train wreck?
"I know." He said, hysterical laughter threatening to spill from his lips, "I know that I'm the bad guy. The jerk and I hate myself for it. But I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared."
"Axel, " Demyx had walked over to stand in front of Axel by this point, and his hands were firmly placed on his friend's shoulders, "Axel look at me."
When Axel finally turned his red rimmed eyes up to look at Demyx, the blonde man continued speaking.
"Your friends are here for you. We're tired of seeing you hurt the one person you care for the most, it needs to end. Okay?"
Axel didn't trust his voice to be more than a choked whisper, so he just nodded. And as soon as Demyx saw the nod, he pulled his friend close and hugged him, trying to chase away all of his uncertainty with that embrace.
XxXx
Axel stood nervously at the microwave in his kitchen, watching the numbers as they counted down to zero. He tried to not think of the fact that Naminé was seated in his lounge waiting for him to return with her mug of green tea. A small smile twitched at his lips when he glanced at the box of vile tasting tea that was on his counter. He hated the stuff, but it was present in his kitchen cabinets because Roxas practically lived on the stuff at one stage.
And there his brain went again.
Bringing Roxas into his every thought.
Axel sighed and reached into the microwave when the obnoxious beep sounded, indicating that he could take the mug out of the microwave.
'Is this what love is?' he thought, spooning honey into Naminé's tea, 'the inability to forget someone? To have them plague your every thought?'
"Axel?" Naminé's voice called out from the lounge, "do you need any help in there?"
Axel took a deep breath and tried to compose his features into something that didn't make him look like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Which he was.
"Ha ha, Naminé. I'm just making you tea; I think that even my limited skills in the kitchen can handle that." He answered, walking into the lounge with the steaming mug, as well as a glass of water for himself. He placed the mug on the coffee table that was situated in front of her and hovered awkwardly near her, the glass of water in his hands suddenly becoming very interesting when Naminé's blue eyes stared up at him in curiosity.
"Er...do you want something to eat? I think that Demyx bought some biscuits or something the other day. And I know that we have a few muffins left over that Roxas made," he winced involuntarily at the mention of Roxas, "should I get one for you?" he babbled, the words leaving his mouth before he could even process what he was saying.
"Axel. Sit down."
He sat, placing the glass of water on the table and attempting to hide his shaking hands from her view.
"I know that you called me here to break up with me."
Axel stared at her in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if he was attempting to say something. In the end he settled with a simple proclamation of "what?!" As near hysterical chuckles spilled from his mouth.
"Oh, don't give me that." She replied calmly, not a single trace of anger was present in her voice as she leaned forward to take the still steaming mug into her hands, "I'm quite aware of what a text saying 'we need to talk' means." She chuckled here, smiling at Axel as she shook her head, "though I have to say...I'm normally the one sending that text, not receiving it."
Axel winced, running his hands through his hair and trying to not think of the fact that Roxas had performed that very action the night before after Axel had distracted him long enough from his baking for a quick make out session.
No, Axel's brain. Do NOT think of THAT right now.
"Was it really that obvious?" he asked, not really knowing how to deal with the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Normally, when he broke up with a girl, the girl would be in tears by the time that he sat them down and told them that they needed to speak. Yet...Naminé's clear, blue eyes looked back at him with not a single trace of a tear in sight.
"Unfortunately." She laughed, taking a sip of her warm beverage.
"Why are you not crying? Or freaking out?" he cried, "I'm freaking out here!"
"Axel." She said, looking at him over the top of her mug, her mascara-darkened lashes framing her blue eyes, "I knew this was coming. And before you freak out, I'm not some kind of witch that can tell the future..." she trailed off and Axel even managed to lift his lips into a smile at her teasing, "you're fantastic, Axel. But you don't hide your emotions well." And at this, her eyes fell to stare into the depths of her mug, a touch of sadness finally entering her voice.
There was a short silence until Naminé spoke up again.
"Is it Roxas?" she asked, her voice so timid and soft that it might as well have been a whisper, "I mean...the person that you're breaking up with me for?"
Axel nodded, hating himself for being the reason that she looked so sad.
She chuckled softly, swallowing as she placed her mug on the table. "You know, in a sick way that actually makes me feel better. I should have known when I saw you two at the diner. Silly, silly Naminé."
"Naminé..." Axel's words trailed off when Naminé looked at him, a slight frown evident on her features. The expression was so out of place on her delicate features that Axel almost wanted to laugh out loud.
"You are planning to ask Roxas out, right?" she demanded, making the task sound so simple.
"I-i don't know." He broke eye contact with her, looking at his hands instead, "I can't."
"You can't, or you won't?" she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a more stern tone.
"You don't understand, Naminé...I can't. Roxas...he's..." she interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.
"No, you don't get it, Axel." She said, shaking her head at him, her pale blonde hair moving on her shoulders with the action, "the only difference between me and Roxas is the fact that I had a label. But that's all I was to you. A label."
"Naminé, I'm sorry -"
She shook her head, holding up a delicate hand so that he would understand that she needed to finish talking.
"I'm not fighting with you Axel, or trying to get you to apologise to me. I'm trying to make you understand your feelings for Roxas," she paused, and he looked at her, shock registering on his face when he saw the warm smile that she had on her face, "you don't look at me the way you look at him, Axel. You don't say my name the way you say his. I could never accumulate that much caring and affection from you. Don't get me wrong, you didn't hurt me, and you didn't neglect me, "she laughed faintly, "I just feel like the villain because you were using me as an excuse to not face your feelings for Roxas. You love him Axel; you just need to admit it to yourself."
Axel took a deep breath before he spoke up, he felt as though his heart was going to escape his chest via his throat with the frantic way in which it was beating. His hands were clammy and he wanted nothing more than to just leave the conversation where it stood. To just let her walk away now, believing that he wasn't the bad guy, that he deserved this kindness that she was demonstrating to him. But he knew that Demyx would find out, and he knew that it wouldn't be able to let her walk out of the apartment not knowing the full truth.
"Naminé, there's more."
"Oh?" she answered, sipping at her green tea again.
Axel swallowed, hating the way that the action sounded to his own ears. He had spent so long trying to find a euphemism for what he was about to say, but no matter how he said it, it was still going to hurt her. He spoke.
"I was cheating on you. With Roxas."
XxXx
Roxas was seated on his bed and an old and slightly worn out wooden box was open on the comforter in front of him. The contents of the box were spread out in front of him and he stared at them, not really absorbing every picture but feeling comfort in having them near him like that.
The box was a present from Axel for his 18th birthday. Axel had somehow managed to collect hundreds of pictures of the two of them from their various friends, and had printed them all out before placing them into the wooden box that he deemed as Roxas's memory box. Each one of the pictures had a message at the back of them, either Axel's caption of what was going on in the picture or the events leading up to the picture, or sometimes just a simple date.
It was the best present that he had received that year.
"Roxas?"
The blonde looked up from the photographs when Sora's form appeared from behind his previously closed door.
"Yeah?" he asked, tilting his head to look at his friend in curiosity.
"Er..." the brunette stepped into his room, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly before he placed both of his linked hands behind his head. Roxas frowned at his friend's obvious tell. Sora always did that when he was nervous or uncomfortable.
"What is it, Sor?" he demanded, crossing his arms to glare at the brunette.
"Kairi wanted to know if you maybe wanted to...come to the movies with us."
Roxas looked at him in disbelief. "And play third wheel?"
"Well, Riku will be there."
"You're...YOU'RE TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH RIKU?" Roxas shouted, looking at Sora as if he had just suggested mass murder.
"Wasn't my idea..." Sora muttered, a pout forming on his lips as he looked at his shoes.
Roxas sighed. This just screamed of something that his friends would come up with. He hadn't even been out the closet for a month before they decided that they were going to set him up with someone. And Roxas loved them for all their affection and interest in his life but...did they have to try to set him up with someone that was involved in the infamous Kairi-Sora-Riku love triangle?
Roxas shook his head, sighing as he regarded the uncomfortable looking brunette in front of him. "Sora, it's fine. I'm okay here by myself tonight."
Sora was out of there without a glance back in Roxas's direction.
Roxas let out a chuckle at the look of total relief that had washed across Sora's features as soon as he had heard the words 'it's fine' leave Roxas's mouth. He looked over at the pictures on his bed once again and smiled when a particular one caught his eye. Reaching over he picked it up and ran his thumb over the image of Axel's face, the smile on his face softening without him really meaning for it to.
The picture was taken when Roxas was fifteen and he cringed slightly at his awkward teenage state. Roxas and Axel were on the Clock Tower and Axel had his arm thrown over Roxas's shoulders as they smiled into the camera. The photo was kind of awkward as the late afternoon sun meant that they were squinting, and their lips were blue from the sea salt ice cream that they had eaten before the picture was taken, and they had to turn to face the camera at a weird angle because Olette, who had taken the photo, was standing to the side nearest to Roxas.
But...Roxas loved that picture. The happy, blissfully unaware smiles conveyed what their friendship was at that stage.
And it contrasted horrifically with what their friendship had become.
Roxas sighed and started placing the photographs back into the box. And he kept glancing over at his phone with a heart that felt as it was about to spontaneously combust in his chest at any moment.
XxXx
Axel had been expecting a bunch of different scenes to unfold after he told Naminé about the affair.
What he was not expecting though was for her to suddenly get and point a finger at him accusingly.
"DO YOU SEE?" she shouted, and Axel almost wet himself when he realised that Naminé was angry enough to raise her voice. Naminé NEVER raised her voice. She even spoke in a soft, calm voice when she was experiencing road rage.
"W-what?" he stuttered.
The blonde girl took a deep breath before she spoke again and, although her voice was no longer at a volume loud enough to alarm the neighbours, there was still anger present in her words.
"You would CHEAT on me with him, but you won't date him?" she cried, exasperated at Axel's foolishness, "look...this is getting too weird, even for me. So I'm going to leave now." She shook her head as she grabbed her bag from where it had been on the floor next to the couch that she had been occupying.
"Naminé." She looked at Axel when she heard the red head say her name.
"Yeah?" she replied, pulling on her coat.
"I am sorry, you know."
She sighed, "I know that you're sorry, Axel. The very fact that you told me shows me how sorry you are. I should be angry, I should be cursing at you, and throwing things at you...I should be angry, not upset like I am now. And the thing that's making me upset is the fact that you're still stringing Roxas along. You hurt me, Axel. Don't hurt him too." She pleaded, and a sigh escaped from her lips when Axel refused to look up and meet her gaze.
She stood at the door to Axel's apartment, looking at her now ex-boyfriend.
"Roxas won't put up with this forever, Axel. Do something before you lose him."
Axel watched her walked out, his body feeling numbed to the very core. he didn't want to dwell on Naminé's words but they struck him cold, the thought of losing Roxas was almost enough to make him grab his jacket and run down to the blonde's apartment to see him.
Roxas wouldn't tire of Axel's indecisiveness, would he? His best friend understood that Axel just needed time to really understand and sort through his emotions.
Axel almost laughed at how inane those words sounded, even to his own ears.
The red head jumped when his message alert tone sounded in the quiet apartment. He reached for his phone and unlocked it almost automatically, the motion feeling like a reflex action to him by now.
And, as he read the words on the brightly illuminated screen, he felt as if his world as crumbling around him, leaving him grasping desperately at the falling debris as it threatened to bury him alive.
New Text Received from: Roxas
(19:07)
I can't do this anymore.
*Insert evil laugh*
Yes...cliff-hangers...cliff-hangers everywhere!
...yeah, I need sleep.
Anyway.
I know that every writer probably claims to have like, thee best reviewers ever...but I honestly don't think that they know what they're talking about. Because, obviously, I have the most amazing reviewers EVER. I read every one of your reviews at least five times, because they're just THAT awesome.
Seriously. I mean, you guys even wish me luck for my exams. You're all so amazing.
So thank you to: L. , InkDrippingRose, ReliveTheGreat, mudkipluvr4ever, NotAlwaysRainbowsAndButterfl ys, fallenofthedark, Moka nee-chan, sakurasapprentice7, poisonedmelody, Uqluiorra12345, TailsTheFox1996, KuroChaos01, and the guest reviewer.
And thank you to every person who had alerted, favourited or just taken time to read this.
Last chapter someone reviewed but they didn't sign in so I couldn't message them to answer their question. So I'm gonna answer it here and hope that they see:
First of all, THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW. And to answer your question...nope. The brown haired guy is not Sora; it's just some random guy. I thought of making it Sora, but I thought that it might make things awkward since Roxas and Sora are roommates. Really awkward.
Secondly, when I saw your review I immediately went to school that day and accused my editor of reviewing in the sly. Because, get this, she had just finished reading 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' a few days before I got your review and you referenced the book in your review. Weird, right?
I hope that you all enjoy the new chapter.
I am now going to study organic chemistry and try really, really hard to not plan out the next chapter in my head.