Finding A Job

Bella's POV

I woke up in the morning to the smell of coffee. I got up and went down stairs to find Charlie sitting at the table with coffee and cereal in front of him and a newspaper in his hands.

"Morning dad," I said as I walked into the kitchen to fix my own bowl of cereal.

"Good morning Bells. Sleep well?" he asked.

"Yes," I lied. I haven't slept well in a while. My nights were always littered with unwanted dreams.

"Good. I have to go into the station today so it looks like you've got the house to yourself." He got up and placed his bowl in the sink while he talked.

"That's fine." I said while sitting down at the table. There was a beat of silence before Charlie asked, "So, do you have any plans for today?"

"Yes, I'm going to re-stock the kitchen so I can have something to work with." I teased. Upon my departure Charlie, apparently did not cook at all.

"Sorry about that. I usually ordered pizza or take out. Sometimes I ate at the Clearwaters or the Blacks so I didn't really need groceries." he said sheepishly.

I sobered up quickly at the mention of the Blacks. I knew Jacob was going to be angry with me. Maybe I should go see him today. I need to face the music sometime, and I'd rather it be sooner instead of later. I thought. Charlie sighed and went upstairs for about five minutes, most likely getting dressed for work.

"Okay Bells, I'm gonna go." he said as he came down the stairs. He gave me a quick kiss on my cheek before leaving.

"Bye dad," I yelled just as the door closed. I heard the cruiser pull out of the driveway a few seconds later. I sighed, feeling alone and a bit on edge. To distract myself I washed the dishes and unpacked my small suitcase, but it only took me about an hour and half. Sighing I got up and put on some slightly baggy jeans along with a Green Day T-shirt before I left for the store.

I pulled into the parking lot for Betsy's Market and got out of my truck. I walked into the small market and up and down to aisles getting the items I needed. I got lettuce, tomatoes, potatoes, onions, raw spinach, canned beans, noodles for both spaghetti and macaroni, some ground beef, and some cold cuts for sandwiches. I pulled my basket to the front and bought everything. I hadn't spent much money in the years I had been gone but I still needed a job, especially if I wanted to get my own place. I didn't want to live off of Charlie for the rest of my life.

I loaded the bags into the back of the truck and went back to put the basket away, but when I got to the cart return I bumped into something warm and soft. Flustered, I looked up into a very familiar pair of eyes. I stepped back and got a good look at him.

His face was hard mask and his eyes were burning with hatred at the moment. He looked a bit older, his muscles were bigger and even more pronounced than when I last saw him. He was currently in faded cut offs and a solid black T-shirt that made him look incredibly sexy. It was obvious that he had changed in the years I had been gone, but at the same time he still looked like my Jacob, just a bit more matured.

"Hi Jacob." I said after I finished looking him over.

"Bella." he said in a hard tone. It was silent for a moment and I looked down at my feet. What should I say? I can't just stand here and not say anything. Shit! Why is this so fucking hard to do? I wanted to run back to my car and leave, but that wouldn't solve anything. I needed to stop being so weak and face the consequences of my choices. So I looked up into his dark onyx eyes and began to plead my case.

"Jacob I'm sor-" I started but he interrupted me.

"Sorry? You think saying you're sorry is going to fix anything? I'm so fucking sick of that word, sorry. It seems to be all I hear all fucking day and it doesn't do a god damn thing!" Jacob snarled. I knew we were making a scene, but I deserved this public humiliation. In a way it's karma for escaping the humiliation of standing before my family and friends to tell them I agreed to an engagement that I didn't really want.

"I know apologizing doesn't help anything, but it doesn't change the fact that I am sorry. I know I say it way too much so with me it tends to lose it's meaning, and I'm working on that. But this apology comes from the deepest part of my heart. You don't have to accept it, I can tell by the look in your eyes that you're not. I just wanted to let you know that I really didn't mean for things to go the way they did." I said while never breaking eye contact with him. His face seemed to soften a bit but his eyes were still filled with anger.

"You're right, I can't accept that apology. It doesn't erase the fact that you left me here, that you left everyone. We didn't hear anything from you for four years Bella! We thought you were dead!" He was shaking now, getting more and more angry as our conversation went on. I reached out and touched his hand rubbing smooth circles on the top.

"Jake calm down." I said gently. The shaking subsided and all of the anger vanished from his face for a second, but only for a second. He whipped his hand away quickly and took a small step back.

"I didn't want to stay away for so long I just..." I trailed off and looked away. I wanted to tell him, I did, but I just couldn't. This was a part of my life that I was so ashamed of. He deserved to know, but I wasn't strong enough to tell him yet.

"Just what Bella, just what?" he asked angrily. I opened my mouth prepared to feed him another lie but quickly closed it. Lying to him would only make things worse when I told him the truth.

"That's what I thought. Look, I'm happy you're back and you're safe, but I can't just forgive you for abandoning me, for leaving everyone who knew you. When you want to tell me why you were gone maybe I can forgive you, but just disappearing is not okay," he said a bit calmer. He gave me a meaningful look before he walked away from me and into the store without another word. I watched him leave and walked back to my truck with a horrible ache in my gut.

I had to tell him, and soon, because I couldn't take it if Jake was walking around angry with me. I felt like I had just been scolded by my parents. Jacob was right, leaving everyone behind was a big mistake, but what's done is done. All that I can do now is try to fix what I've broken.

~Redeem~

I went home and cooked some beef casserole for dinner. Charlie and I ate in a comfortable silence for most of the meal, as we usually did, but when we had both finished eating we started talking.

"So how was your day Bella?" I could tell that Charlie was a little uncomfortable with small talk, even though I was his daughter. You would think that seeing my father in discomfort would make me feel uneasy as well, but it was actually quite amusing.

"It was good dad. How was yours?"

"Good. We caught this guy that vandalized schools and libraries. It wasn't a big victory or anything but we still got him." It was silent for a little while before I decided to speak again.

"Tomorrow I was going to go job hunting. Any ideas?" I asked hopefully.

"Well that depends, what kind of job are you looking for?"

"I want to do something in the literature department, but since I don't have any type of income and any job is better than no job I'm not really being picky." I sighed. I wanted to be picky. I wanted to say that I was qualified enough to accept or decline any job and be as picky as I wanted to be, but I wasn't. The degree that I had gotten wasn't exactly complete. It was one of those online colleges and I had a few more months to go.

I told my dad I had gone to college because I wanted to have something to tell people that would make them at least a little proud of me. It was also an excuse in a way. When people asked me, "What were you doing for all that time?" I could say I went to college and got a good education. Instead what could I say? That I had gotten... I couldn't even think it I was so disgusted with myself.

"Your best bet for anything with writing and all that would be Port Angeles. There are a few new book stores down there and some newspaper companies. Who knows, maybe you could get published." Charlie gave me a bright smile, which I returned. That would be amazing to see a piece of my work published. If I could get an article published and then maybe a review, who knows maybe I could even write a book. The possibilities were endless.

"Thanks dad, I will definitely check it out." I said enthusiastically.

"No problem," he said as he stood and put his plate and silverware in the sink. We stayed up a little while longer watching some baseball game. I didn't really pay attention, I didn't really see a point if I didn't even know how to play the game well. I remember how I "played" baseball with the Cullens. I hadn't even really played at all. I just stayed next to Esme while she played referee. It's just another example of why Edward and his family were so wrong for me.

With them I was nothing but a breakable human. They looked at me like I was an pet insect, inferior and easily killed. They shielded me from things I didn't want to be protected from and kept me from experiencing certain human things because they were so out of touch with their human selves. Jacob and I could play a whole game of mud football and he won't think twice about tackling me. Sure it was a way to get me into his arms and vice versa, but it still means something. It should have seen all of these things before I agreed to marry Edward. What was I thinking?

"Alright, well I'm gonna go to bed Bells." Charlie interrupted my self-loathing thoughts.

"Okay, I think I will too. After all, I have to go looking for jobs tomorrow." I said after blinking a few times to bring myself back to the present. I climbed the stairs to my bedroom, telling myself that I would take a shower in the morning. Weariness overtook me swiftly as I put on my sweats and camisole. I was extremely grateful for the soft mattress and fluffy pillows as I lay down and drifted off to sleep.

~Redeem~

I was in a lake and the water was dark. There was no moon in the sky leaving me surrounded by blackness. My body stung all over and I tried to move but thick chains held me in place. I was freezing and burning all at once as the two worlds that I had known to be peaceful collided violently. It hurt so badly; it felt like I was being ripped apart piece by piece. The scene shifted and I was in a dark room. I had fallen through the icy hot lake into a new terror.

I had fallen into his lair again. I was once again trapped. How can I get out this time? I am thinking of ways to escape when he comes down the stairs. I can hear them creaking, every last one until he lands on the floor. He stalks forward slowly, like an animal hunting his prey. My palms get sweaty and my breath quickens as he grows closer and closer. I see a knife in his hand and some substance in the other. It's red and moving and it's... my heart. It's beating in his hand rapidly, just as it were in my body.

"Do as I say." he said with a menacing snarl. I was too terrified to speak so I shook my head.

"That's a good girl," he said. As he came closer and closer my heart in his hand started getting smaller and smaller. The beats no longer loud and pounding but soft, like the pitter-patter of a toddlers feet on carpet. He was next to the bed now and my heart was all but gone. Something dawned on me. That I was either going to get stabbed and die, or my heart was going to go away and I would still die. I would much rather go out by getting stabbed than losing my heart.

"No!" I shouted, and the smirk flew off of his face. His eyes gleaming in the low lighting.

He drew back his knife and my heart grew as I struggled against my restraints, it's loud beating pounding rapidly against my eardrums. I thought for sure he was going to stab me, and he did… sort of. The knife flew straight into my heart, which was currently in his hand. I was screaming out in pain. It was so excruciating, my whole body felt like it was tearing apart. He laughed at my screams, enjoying the sight of me writhing in pain. He got closer to me. He just kept and coming. My sight was getting blurry as I felt myself dying from the inside out, my own blood suffocating me.

I woke up screaming right into my pillow. I sat up in bed drenched in sweat. I put my hand to my forehead to wipe some of it off and went to open the window. I felt the cool Washington air hit my skin and sighed. I had missed Washington so much. I used to hate the cold rainy weather, but I had grown to love it. I didn't realize how much I would miss Forks until I left. I looked out at the forest and wondered who was on patrol tonight. If they were getting the sleep they needed, if they were all still the same.

I couldn't think like that just yet. I needed to tell Jacob why I was gone for so long. I was going to tell him the truth, not the bullshit I tell everyone. I went to my nightstand and looked at my alarm clock. It was five thirty in the morning so it really didn't make sense for me to go back to sleep so I made my way downstairs.

I went straight to the door and picked up the newspaper on the driveway. Then I went into the living room with a pen and began looking for good jobs in the area. There were only a few that really caught my eye and nearly half of them were in Olympia or Seattle. I did find ten jobs in either Forks, Port Angeles, or La Push that interested me.

There was a waitress position at Bella Italiana that I was reluctant about. I didn't want to work at the place where I went on my first date with Edward. There was a job at the concessions stand at the movie theater, but once again that place didn't hold the best memories. I also found jobs for a cashier at a clothing store, a take out person for a fast-food place, a dog walker, a nanny, and a cashier at a video store in Port Angeles. I also found an add for one of those new newspaper offices that Charlie was talking about but they weren't hiring.

I found two jobs in Forks at a new bookstore and the grocery store. The last job I found was a secretary position for a mechanic shop. When I was finished with my search I set the newspaper on the coffee table and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. While I was making my breakfast Charlie came downstairs which meant it was six thirty.

"Morning." he said obviously still tired.

"Morning dad." I responded as he made himself some cereal. We both sat down. I had made myself some Rice Krispies and a Pop-Tart while he had some Honey Nut Cheerios. We ate in slice for a minute before my dad broke it.

"So what are you going to do today again?"

"I'm going to see if I can get a job. I found a few things and thought I'd go see what I could get." After I said this Charlie visibly relaxed and I felt a pang of guilt. He was nervous that I was going to just pack up and leave again.

"That's right! Sorry I'm a little groggy in the mornings. I really hope you find something good," he said with a genuine smile. When breakfast was finished and Charlie left I went and got myself ready for an interview. I haven't been to a job interview since high school and I wore my favorite jeans and a faded T-shirt I got years ago. I had a feeling that I was going to have to dress a bit more sophisticated for these interviews but I didn't own anything fancy.

I began to worry but decided that Forks wasn't a fancy kind of place anyway, I doubt they would look down on me for it. It's not like these were high-end jobs. I took a quick shower, dried my hair and put it in soft curls. I decided to put it in a professional bun even though my outfit would be anything but professional.

I walked back to my room and opened up my closet to find that it to was exactly how I left it. I looked through my closet for about fifteen minutes and found two decent outfits. One was a red button down blouse paired with some nice black jeans, the other was a blue button down blouse with some white jeans. Both outfits went with some small black heels I had possessed before I left.

I decided to go with the red blouse and black jeans. Edward often said blue looked good on me and I did not want to be reminded of Edward today, white jeans got dirty easily anyway. When I was done I decided to put on a touch of make-up, all of which Alice had bought me once upon a time, and put on the golden necklace my mom gave me for my sixteenth birthday. When I looked in the mirror I was surprised.

I had only put on a little mascara and a nude lip-gloss along with some foundation and a bit of blush but it really accented my features. The red blouse I had chosen stopped just above my breasts but did not show any cleavage, making my necklace stand out more. My black jeans hugged the contours of my body tightly but still left me room to move and be comfortable. The heels were not very big, maybe an inch of the ground, but they were extremely cute. They were black and slightly open at the toe giving my feet some breathing room. The hair really tied the whole outfit together and I got into my truck feeling satisfied.

I drove to Port Angeles first, deciding to work my way back to Forks and finally La Push. I was a little apprehensive about looking for a job in La Push, especially because it sounded like somewhere Jake would work, but it was for that same reason that I decided to check it out. I couldn't just hide out after a few hurtful words had been said. Especially when I deserved the harsh words. Every thing Jacob said had been true, I couldn't sit back and wait to run into him again. I needed to take some initiative. I assured myself once more that this was what I wanted and needed to do, and set off.

~Redeem~

"Well that was a bust." I muttered as I made my way back to Forks. So far I got interviewed three times and filled out one application. The people who wanted a dog walker, the people at the fast-food place, and the people at the movie theater all said the same thing: "Oh I'm sorry but the position has filled." They all said it with the same somber tone and a look of pity on their faces. I hated pity. I didn't want it. My life is great compared to some other people on the world. Go pity them; I have no use for it. If they really felt sorry for me they would have given me a job or at least an interview.

I got an interview for the rest of the jobs, except for one and that was only because the waitress at Bella Italian was extremely bitchy. She asked me if I wanted a table for one with this look on her face like I was a bug or something. When I told her I wanted a job she rolled her eyes and said, "Well you should have called first but I guess I can some time off of my job to talk to the manager because you came unprepared." she said in a standoffish tone.

I felt my temper flare and almost cussed her out of house and home, but instead I looked her up and down and said, "What job? You stand here and greet people. Don't act like you're better than me because you have a job. The food her tastes like ass anyway! I know I don't have a job yet but at least I'm not a little cunt!" Her mouth was left hanging open as I stormed out.

I left Bella Italiana so angry that I think I may have scared the next interviewer at the clothing store. I walked in nearly demanding to talk to someone about the add I found in the paper. The short blonde woman who was at the front cash register was in shock until she registered the look on my face. She then stuttered out a greeting and led me right to the back to meet the manager. At the time I was happy that I didn't have to go through any more bullshit, but in the car driving to Forks I felt pretty bad about the way I had acted. The girl was only a teenager and she seemed pretty nice, and my behavior most likely cost me the job.

The tall brunette that was the manager seemed like the kind of woman that didn't take any fooling around. The way her face was structured she could make any expression look menacing. She greeted me sharply and I used the same tone when greeting her. I don't know if it was my tone or the way I walked into the room, but she looked scared to death. When I went to the bathroom I figured out why.

My hair had come undone slightly and now looked messy. My red blouse had shifted from the multiple car rides, my mascara was running just a bit, and I scratched myself in the car on accident leaving a red scrape on my arm. That paired with my attitude might lead you to think that I was either one bad bitch or someone with some real problems. She asked me three questions and told me she would get back to me. Even at the time I knew she wouldn't.

After I cleaned myself up a bit in the store bathroom I set off to the video store. That interview was pleasant enough. A guy named David gave me the interview. He was very nice, we chatted for a good twenty minutes after the interview. He had deep blue eyes and was fairly tan. Apparently he was from California. I was about to grab a resume when he told me that he would have to talk to his boss, but after he did I would be hired. I smiled appreciatively and thanked him for everything then walked out to my truck, leaving my home phone number so he could contact me.

The last place was the nanny service and that went fairly well. They told me that they would give me a call either at home or on my cell phone, which I still needed to get, and tell me who needed my services and how long they would need them. Sometimes it would be a week and other a month or a year. She said it paid ten dollars per hour and the minimum amount of time was one week. That was the only application I had filled out and the only one I really wanted to fill out so far.

I sighed as I pulled into the Forks' Super Foods parking lot. Forks' Super Foods, other wise known as Supers, is about three miles away from Betsy's Market but it's also more expensive and the food quality isn't anywhere near as good. Still, those people that don't like to mingle with the residents of La Push use Supers to "ensure their safety". Betsy's was right on the border of La Push and Forks, and because their produce was so great it attracted many people including the people from La Push. Many people in Forks didn't mind our Quileute neighbors, but there were still a few people that were untrusting for some reason. Because of this I didn't really want to work at Supers, but unfortunately Betsy's wasn't hiring.

The thing I hated most about Supers was the smell. It was awful, like old moldy rice. It always hit me right when I walked through the doors. The weird thing was, the smell was only at the doorway. Once you get inside shopping is fine. It's just coming and going that had me on edge. Luckily the check out registers were a good distance from the doors. I went up to one cashier who wasn't busy and asked her if they were still hiring. She told me they were and sent me through some back door and into someone's office. I thought it rude to intrude unannounced, but the cashier told me that it would be fine. She said all I had to do was wait so I sat down on a chair next to a beautiful dark wood desk and waited.

I waited for ten minutes before I started to get antsy. Five more minutes later I was really getting impatient. Once twenty minutes had passed I was ready to leave. That was when the door swung open and a middle-aged man walked in and took a seat at his desk. He walked right by me without even sparing me a glance. He just sat down and did some typing on his computer. At first I thought he didn't know I was there, but after typing some message and a few clicks of his mouse he turned his head to me.

"Ahh yes. Let me guess, you're here for the job right?" He was a round in the belly and had a very big head. It may sound mean but his butt was the size of a mini planet and I had no idea his legs could support so much fluff. He seemed nice enough though.

"Yes I am." I replied.

"Okay. Well that's fine and dandy and all that but before we actually get into the interview I would like to ask you two simple questions that could save us both time. Do you shop at Betsy's Market?" he asked in a very serious tone. His brown eyes staring intently at me behind his glasses.

"Yes," I responded. He nodded taking in my response.

"Would you be willing to not shop there in order to work here?" he asked while giving ms the same look.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"I mean that if anyone that shops here or works here see's you at Betsy's Market and reports it back to me you will be fired with no questions asked. Is that okay with you?"

"No." I answers curtly. Who would agree to that? This is a free country, I can shop where I please.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, you may go." He said this and then turned back to his computer. I stayed in the seat, static at him for a moment to see if he was serious but he never looked at me. So I got up out of the seat and walked out the door.

"Wow, this is just not your day." I said to myself as I got back into my truck and made my way to the bookstore. I got lost several times because Map quest made me go through the forest and down some weird path but I found it eventually. When I looked at it, I immediately felt like I was home.

It was a small place made of dark wood with the words "The Book Garden" written in a beautiful brownish gold color. The name definitely fit the place. There was a fair sized garden starting in the front of the store and going around it. The flowers were beautiful shades of pink, purple, yellow, blue, and pretty much any other color you could think of. There was a small rock path leading up to the doorway. The store looked so much like a home that I almost knocked on the front door.

Instead I walked right in and was very surprised by what I saw. It was much bigger on the inside than on the outside. There were rows of bookcases that had books separated into different sections. Every row had a small table in front of it, showcasing the newest arrivals, or well-known books. The thing that was so different about this store was the nature. Normally you would be lucky to find a nice houseplant. In this bookstore there were plants everywhere.

There were small plants on the little tables in front of every bookcase and there were plants that had grown long lines of leaves on top of the bookcases. The bigger plants were around the room placed on the floor and were literally like miniature trees. I was looking around in awe. But when my eyes found a waterfall near the back of the room I flipped out. I nearly ran over to it. It was a medium-size waterfall made of medium-sized rocks and had little plants all around it. It was placed next to a huge window that over looked the forest and had a few benches next to it along with another small table and a few chairs. I now understood why it was called the Book Garden. I was spending so much time looking around that I didn't notice there was a woman beside me. She was slightly tan and had hazel eyes. She had on a orange flowing skirt along with a pink blouse and had some nice flats on. She looked older than me, probably in her late forties or mid-fifties, and was currently wearing a small smile on her face.

"It's nice right?" the woman said knowingly.

"Nice doesn't even begin to cover it. It's a utopia!" Her smile widened at my excitement.

"Yes it is. I like to come here to relax. What about you?" she asked.

"Oh I just found this place, but I am definitely coming back. Even if I don't get the job." I said, and it was true. I could just imagine myself spending hours in a place like this, I was coming back no matter what. She nodded slowly and there was a beat of silence between us.

"You've got it," she said.

"Got what?"

"The job. You start tomorrow at nine. But make sure you're here at eight thirty so I can tell you all of the rules and answer some of your questions." I was shocked. I thought she was just a dedicated reader.

"But I th-" I started, but she shushed me.

"Tomorrow," was all she said before she walked away and left me standing there completely flustered.

I was going to start on my way to La Push when I realized that I had already gotten two job offers today. I already had enough to choose from. But which one did I want? Now that is the million-dollar question. I thought to myself as I turned my truck around and headed home.

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