Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other stuffs I might have forgot... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad is Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled and how stubborn can be Subaru no matter what happened to him.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Jennifer for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi and Yupita for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey to him. Now, in the year of the destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...
"Ima futari wa deai
Toki wo koete yume wo miru...
Haikyo no naka de kimi wo mitsuketa
Furueru kata wa katakuna de...
Sekai wa nido mo kowarete shimai
Erabareta futari dake ga...
Yoru no yamima no zawameki ni
Obieru kimi wo dakishimeru yo
Yokotawaru matenrou fukinukeru kaze ni nosete
Kuchibue no REKUIEMU wo...
Itsu no hi ka futatabi umarekawatta jidai wa
Yasuraida YUUTOPIA sa..."
("Now we've run across each other again
I've crossed over time to watch over your dream...
Hurry find it inside of yourself
Lie your trembling shoulder upon mine...
Our worlds have twice shattered apart
Only we have yet been chosen...
The darkness of the night is frightening
I'll keep holding you tight
Lying down, looking up at the wax sky
The wind begins to blow carrying a requiem...
When the day comes once again We'll be reincarnated
into and era, a peaceful Utopia..."
(Furuya Tohru - "Toki wo Koete")
Shortly after Kamui-chan left to go to school. Arisugawa-kun and his 'Neechan' apparently had a meeting planned with a certain Imonoyama-san instead. Seishiro supposed it was one of the members of the Imonoyama Zaibatsu that had founded CLAMP Gakuen.(1)
That was how Seishiro found himself alone in the house with a sleeping Subaru-kun and Sumeragi-chan. Not exactly an ideal situation. He didn't like Sumeragi-chan on the basic principle she wanted to steal Subaru-kun from him and, anyway, he wanted to be alone with the boy. He threw a quick glance at the girl, reminding himself that, even if it would have been extremely easy to kill her right then, Subaru-kun probably wouldn't have enjoyed waking up to the sight of his dead twin sister, and the boy seemed to feel sick enough at the moment. He sighed. The things he did in order to please Subaru-kun...
Hokuto wasn't pleased to be with the Sakurazukamori either, however... Subaru was cute, sleeping like that. He resembled the little boy he had been and she unconsciously smiled as she stared at his sleeping face. Her brother squirmed a bit, mumbling something in his sleep in a whimpering tone, his hair falling over his eyes. However, before she could reach to push it back, the Sakurazukamori took care to smooth it back gently, soothing Subaru's sleep as well. Hokuto was an observant person by nature. She could clearly tell that that had been a natural gesture, a habit that hadn't required the man to pause to think. He had reached out instinctively, as if he had done it tons of times. No cruel kidnapper would bother to soothe his victim's sleep so gently.
'Don't leave me, please, Seishiro-san, don't leave me...'
Subaru wanted this man. For reasons beyond her understanding her kind, caring, gentle brother liked the Sakurazukamori. A killer. A Chi no Ryu. His kidnapper. She didn't like this. She didn't like to think of what the man could have done to Subaru during all those years, to tie her brother to him in that way.
'I never lifted a finger against Subaru-kun, and surely I never forced him to have sex with me when he didn't want to!'
Maybe she was being unfair to him, she wondered, remembering his words. Maybe he hadn't hurt Subaru. Maybe he was better than she could believe. Maybe he was better than she had always been told. However, in the face of all those years in which she hadn't known if her brother was alive or dead, and all those tales she heard about the Sakurazukamori, it was hard to believe it. Very hard. But if Subaru needed her to get along with this man...
"I apologize for calling you a rapist," she said in a low tone, forcing the words out of her mouth. The man shrugged, dismissing her apology as unimportant.
"Honestly, I don't care much about your opinion about me, Sumeragi-chan, as long as you don't try to use it to get between me and Subaru-kun," the man said in an equally low tone, but with a hint of threat in his voice as he stared at Subaru possessively.
"Subaru is my twin. My only brother. I won't allow anyone to hurt him," she replied firmly, looking straight at him.
"I haven't hurt him," the Sakurazukamori replied, annoyance transparent in his voice. "I never lifted a finger against him," he added slowly, as if he believed her a very dumb child that wouldn't have been able to understand his words had he spoken at a normal pace.
"Maybe you didn't hurt him physically, but you kidnapped him and put him under a spell," she gritted through her teeth, wondering how that man could ignore or pretend to ignore this obvious fact.
"Would you have preferred I had killed him because he interrupted my work?" Seishiro replied sarcastically. "That's the rule, to kill whoever witness the Sakurazukamori at work. If you want to blame someone, blame your own family who left a child wandering alone through Tokyo's streets. I'm not the only danger in Tokyo, and others might not have been..." he would have liked to say kind, caring, considerate, but in that moment he didn't feel up to praising his own actions. He'd been listening while Kamui-chan spoke to Subaru-kun...
' I listened to you.'
'Sorry, I wasn't sure. You never answered.'
'You never seemed to expect an answer. Or need one.'
... And that had reminded him of something, a discussion he'd had with Subaru-kun not long ago.
'You almost never smile, Subaru-kun. If you never have reasons to smile how can you say you're happy?'
'I didn't know you wanted me to smile...'
'That's not the point! Why don't you smile, Subaru-kun?'
'Because... I don't know why... because it won't matter, it won't make a difference... It's just... it seems a waste of effort...'
Had Subaru-kun stopped smiling simply because he thought Seishiro didn't care if he did or not? He didn't like that thought.
Add to it that the Chi no Ryu's Kamui had said he was responsible for what had happened to Subaru-kun... Even if he didn't plan to take responsibility for what that idiotic teenager did in his omnipotence delirium, he knew he could have spared Subaru-kun from it. Subaru-kun had promised he would stay with him. Subaru-kun was always loyal to his word. Even if he hadn't wanted to stay he would have done it anyway, so had he really had to strip him of his will and leave him defenceless to that brat's manipulation? Couldn't he have ignored that boy's provocation and remained with his Subaru-kun that day? Seishiro frowned, caressing Subaru-kun's cheek gently. He didn't like the idea he might be considered... responsible for what had happened to Subaru-kun, he didn't like it at all.
"No... I... I wouldn't have preferred you kill him, but..." Sumeragi-chan began to say in a pained voice, interrupting his thoughts. "But why? Why take him away? Why take him away from his family? Why take him away from me? You erased completely the memory of his family... he can't remember me anymore..." She suppressed a sigh at that. "Couldn't you have erased the memory of your meeting instead? Couldn't you have left him to a family that loved him?" There was something pleading in her voice, as if she truly believed she could own Subaru-kun just because she loved him, because she was 'family'.
"No," he stated firmly. "I couldn't do that."
"Why not?" Hokuto insisted. Why not? Why not leave her brother to her?
"Because I wanted him," the man replied simply, looking at her as if he believed her really stupid for not understanding it on her own; and there was something childish in that statement, the stubbornness of a kid who found something and wanted to keep it no matter what, uncaring of everything else. She would have liked to yell at him that Subaru wasn't a toy, that he had no right to take him only because 'he wanted him', that the world didn't turn around him, and yet something stopped her. The Sakurazukamori had met a child while doing his work and, rather than following traditions and murdering him as any member of her Ichimon would have expected, he took him, raised him, cared for him, allowed him to be close to him, uncaring of any of the troubles this could cause. It hadn't been just a temporary whim, it had to have been a deep wish, a wish to have the company of her brother all for himself. All of sudden the Sakurazukamori looked to her eyes like a bratty, lonely kid, who owned only a single Teddy Bear and treasured it more than everything because it was his only friend and companion. Subaru wasn't a Teddy Bear but...
"Subaru isn't a Teddy Bear for you to play with," she forced herself to say, fighting back the blossoming sympathy she felt for that man.
"Subaru-kun said he would stay with me. He said so and I thought it would be easier for him if he didn't remember his past." Safer as well, but Seishiro wasn't going to share that with Sumeragi-chan. "It was his choice. He promised. He promised he would stay and keep me company. I won't let anyone take him away from me," he added possessively and yes, to Hokuto he sounded exactly like a lonely child defending his Teddy Bear. She thought back to her brother as he had been when he was a child. Sweet, caring, gentle Subaru... Had he promised he would stay with that man because he had sensed his loneliness too? Was that why Subaru wouldn't abandon him, wouldn't try to undo the spell?
'Don't leave me, please, Seishiro-san, don't leave me...'
No, it wasn't just that. It wasn't merely pity. She had seen it, Subaru liked this guy, wanted this guy, this guy who was a murderer, a kidnapper, a...
"Subaru likes you," she conceded, closing her eyes. "He wants to be with you. Why is beyond me," she couldn't help but add. Then she opened her eyes again and fixed on him a firm stare. "As I told you, I won't allow anyone to hurt my little brother," she continued firmly. "I saw the cuts on Subaru's wrist. Those are hardly a sign of happiness. I want to know what happened to Subaru that caused him to... to..." the trailed off, lowering her gaze, her hand clenching around Subaru's. The Sakurazukamori stared at Subaru, frowning.
"I don't know what caused them. Subaru-kun said he didn't know either. They never happened when I was around him, and he never remembered how he got them in the first place. I pondered any possible cause from psychological to magical but... I never discovered the truth... His wrist is bandaged..." he pointed out, then running his fingers on the soft texture gently, as if afraid his touch could hurt Subaru. "Has it... happened again?"
"The doctors said it was a post abuse reaction..." she replied sadly. "I thought... I thought he would die... there was so much blood... and we couldn't persuade him to let himself be healed..." she added and fought back tears at the memory. Subaru, his hand clenched on a piece of broken glass... his wrist dripping blood... her running to him, trying to help him, trying to get him to tell her what was wrong... Subaru refusing to be touched, helped... trying to curl in a corner and... and die there... and that blood, all that blood, her brother's blood...
"Did he remember how it happened?" Seishiro asked simply, interrupting that horrible flashback.
"You should ask him. Before we couldn't get out of him a single word besides your name," she informed him bitterly. It was the only things Subaru had said in a quiet whisper, over and over like a mantra... or a prayer. 'Seishiro-san, Seishiro-san, Seishiro-san.' He was either saying that or being silent. The Sakurazukamori smiled at hearing this, looking very pleased, and she felt the imperious need to smash something into his face, but then the man caressed Subaru's cheek, and there was tenderness, affection and care in the gesture and she...
"I don't like you," she admitted in a raw tone. "I don't think I'll ever be able to like you. But if you can make Subaru happy... I won't get between the two of you," she conceded. "In the contrary case... I'll kill you, be sure of this," she stated firmly, glaring at him darkly. The man looked at her and nodded, as if approving her words.(2)
"Sounds like a good deal," he commented and somehow she couldn't shake from her head the impression she was talking to a little kid, to someone that couldn't truly grasp what she was saying, the implications of what she was saying. She would kill him if he were to fail... and he seemed to find it some sort of game! "Only... you know I'll kill you first if you try to get between the two of us, don't you?" he asked tilting his head and looking at her confidently, a smirk on his lips, the look of a brat sure things will go his way.
"Subaru won't forgive you, if you do. Whatever you mean for him now will be lost. Forever," she replied, smiling back with confidence. Subaru might not remember her, but he was still connected to her. He still felt the pull between their souls, she was sure of it. They were twins after all. He wouldn't like to have her killed by the Sakurazukamori. The man frowned at her words.
"I hate you," he stated in a very honest tone, and she grinned because yes, he really looked like a little kid.
"You'll deal with it, Sei-chan," she answered, trying to not laugh out loud for fear of waking Subaru. It wasn't a real laugh, more like an hysterical one, but it was the closest thing to a real laugh she'd been capable of in days.
"Sei... -chan?" he echoed looking at her with an expression of deep disbelief.
"Since, apparently, you're going to be my brother in law we should start having friendly relations. Or trying to," she informed him. It would be hell to try, but nothing had ever stopped Sumeragi Hokuto when she decided something.
"Not even Subaru-kun calls me that," Seishiro complained, feeling very annoyed. In fact Subaru-kun had always called him 'Seishiro-san' and he had always called him 'Subaru-kun'. It had seemed normal before, perfectly acceptable, but in face of the liberties Sumeragi-chan was taking with him it seemed, all of a sudden, too formal. Maybe he and Subaru-kun would need to talk over it...
"Your loss," the girl commented and Seishiro wondered how it could be that Subaru-kun was so polite and formal and sweet and adorable and this girl, who was his twin sister, was the exact opposite.
"Fine, Hokuto-chan, let's give this a try," he agreed in the end, faking a bright smile. Who knew, maybe this faked friendship could turn useful and even help his relationship with Subaru-kun...
JJ's Notes:
1. In the manga there's no mention of a meeting between Nokoru, Sorata and Arashi at this time but there might have been one... and anyway it makes sense to have one considering the last developments.
2. I know in the manga Hokuto was very supportive of the Seishiro/Subaru relation but in it Seishiro didn't try to kidnap Subaru and now she'll need a bit more of time to get used to deal with him as Subaru's boyfriend.
JJ's Extra Notes:
Seishiro and Hokuto are having a little, temporal truce. I guess it was hazardous from the seal to leave them alone in the house with a sleeping Subaru but it's important for them to learn to get along. And yes, quiet won't last for long... You can go check the manga and see the next place the Chi no Ryu are going to attack!
Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Gakuen: Campus
Ichimon: "Family" or "Household" or "Clan"
Maboroshi: Illusion
Neechan: "Sister" or "Older Girl"
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill who threatens Japan
Zaibatsu: "Plutocrats" or "Rich Clan"
Replies to reviews:
To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!
To Francesca Akira89: Beh you will have to wait the next chap to see them... and don't worry Hokuto won't influence much Subaru's look... LOL. Well, the Subaru/Kamui bond is canon after all... and Fuma's going to show up soon... don't worry... or better... worry... I think KAMUI can be defeated only by Kamui...
To rain angst: Hokuto and Seishiro are similar in a fashion... so they could get along if they were to make an effort and get over their possessiveness of Subaru... Subaru trying to take control of his life might not be a thing as good as it can seem... Until Subaru doesn't learn his own worth also...
To Dark Angel Of Fire Ice: Glad you liked it!
To Lemonysh: I'm happy the update made you happy! Seishiro's trying to win Subaru over with kindness now that the spell is gone... and he'll remain jealous till the end. Subaru's HIS. Mn... no, the fic is a bit different from the canon but it follow it close enough so Kamui's most precious one will remain Fuma. Oh, and since you left reviews you can pester me for update as much as you like! The comment was about those who wrote me without leaving a review just saying 'Update!'.
Send me your comments!