Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other stuffs I might have forgot... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad is Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled and how stubborn can be Subaru no matter what happened to him.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Ruth for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi, Yupita and Jennifer for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey him. Now, in the year of the destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...
'We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.' Andy Rooney
"You are the children of this time
You are the bread and the wine
You are companions 'till the end
You've got yourselves to defend."
(Europe - "Children Of This Time")
When Hokuto also managed to return back with Kamui-chan and Yuzuriha-chan the first thing she did was check on her brother and Sei-chan. Hokuto found them in their room, Sei-chan sitting on the bed, hovering over an unconscious Subaru-kun. Her brother seemed serene in his sleep, his injuries all carefully bandaged, and Sei-chan was holding his hand like a child's. They were kind of a cute picture, even if Subaru was paler than she would have liked him to be and Sei-chan seemed a bit out of it, as if he was completely unaware of the world around them, his gaze solely fixed on Subaru. He probably was unaware of the world around them since he nearly jumped when she put an ice pack against his forehead, giving her the clear impression that, for once, she had caught the Sakurazukamori by surprise, but she knew better than to gloat that moment.
"You should also clean the blood away and put some disinfectant on your cuts," she said, checking his condition and ignoring his inquiring gaze. "And you should change your shirt. I'm ready to bet if Subaru sees the blood on it he'll freak out."
"Hokuto-chan, what do you want?" he asked suspiciously, raising his gaze on her as he held Subaru's hand more tightly. Her gaze softened.
"Thank you for protecting my brother," she said in a very honest tone with a bow of her head. "Thank you for protecting Subaru." He shrugged, dismissing her words as unimportant.
"I didn't do it for you. Subaru-kun is mine. No one is allowed to hurt him," he informed her grumpily. Something was wrong with him, she just knew it. She decided to ignore his declaration of ownership. By now she was sure that, even if Sei-chan behaved and talked like considered Subaru just a toy, a possession, in truth her brother meant far more to him, even if she doubted he was aware of it. Absently she decided that one of those days she was going to explain to him that if one cared that much about someone else it meant that he loved that someone else and, if one loved someone, that wasn't the best way to talk or act. She couldn't know it would have been, far better, if she had done it right then.
"Kamui-chan and Yuzuriha-chan told me what happened. Fuma-kun would have killed him if you hadn't been there." He didn't reply as his gaze returned to Subaru. Yes, something was up only they weren't exactly close enough for her simply to ask him what was wrong. Oh well... she was almost his sister in law. She could take that confidence.
"Sei-chan? What's wrong?" she asked him gently.
Seishiro's eyes turned on her and he studied her carefully before deciding that replying wouldn't harm him.
"Kamui said that Subaru-kun has a Wish," he admitted. Hokuto sighed. He sounded exactly like a child complaining about how a classmate had been mean to him. It should be impossible for a murderer to look so... However... every time Fuma-kun told someone that this someone had a Wish horrible things happened. He killed Kotori-chan and Daisuke, almost did the same with Yuzuriha-chan, hurt Kamui-chan and she wouldn't even go into what he had done to Subaru.
"Did he say what it is about?" she asked, frowning as she stared at Subaru with concern. Sei-chan shook his head. "Fuma-kun has some twisted ideas about fulfilling wishes... I bet if one asks him for a helping hand in doing some job, he would rip it off the nearest person and throw it at him." Sei-chan shrugged.
"I don't care what he does, as long as the hands he rips off aren't Subaru-kun's. What does he want from Subaru-kun?" he asked more to himself than to her. She sighed.
"What does he want from anyone? Fuma-kun was a nice boy but after this mess started... I don't know Sei-chan, he was your boss or something, you should know what is going on in his mind better than me..."
"No one knows what's on Kamui's mind..." he muttered unhappily.
"Then you'll talk to Subaru and put some sense into _his_ mind. If there's someone he'll listen to, that someone is you. Tell him not to do anything risky or wish for insane things," she decided. She would have liked to do it herself but she doubted her opinion would have mattered much to Subaru... He nodded without conviction. "What's wrong now, Sei-chan?"
"Nothing," he stated coldly. She sighed. She knew she wouldn't get him to open further.
"I guess you'll talk about it with Subaru, won't you?" No reply. She shook her head in exasperation. Maybe it would be easier to put some sense in a three years old than into that stubborn brat that was Sakurazuka Seishiro-chan. "I'll leave you two alone now. Subaru should really sleep some more and you seem to need rest as well," she said then, hoping he would catch the hint. He didn't even seem to have heard her. She left but returned a short while later to bring him a slice of cake, saying he had deserved it before leaving them again.
Seishiro had no idea how to take all this. Apparently he was on Hokuto-chan's good side now. Not that he cared much. He didn't feel particularly hungry either. He didn't want to eat, he just wanted Subaru back...
Subaru-kun awoke not much later, sitting up with a start. The second after he trapped Seishiro in a hug. Seishiro sighed in Subaru-kun's embrace and hugged him back, resting his head on the boy's shoulder tiredly. They didn't move for a while. Then they parted and stared at each other, resting their foreheads one against the other.
"Subaru-kun... that battle didn't concern you... why did you involve yourself? Do you realize you threw yourself into the heat of the battle without even bothering to shield yourself against the Sakanagi and while you weren't at the best of your form? What were you trying to do?" Seishiro asked slowly, careful to keep his tone gentle. He didn't want to entertain the possibility that the boy had gone there to help Kamui-chan. Kamui-chan should never matter to Subaru-kun, should never cause Subaru-kun to abandon Seishiro in order to go helping the boy against the Chi no Ryu's Kamui. No, Subaru-kun couldn't care for Kamui-chan. The boy must care for him and him only.
"Trying to keep you safe... I didn't mean to involve you in that battle... why did you come? You shouldn't have... Kamui hurt you and I didn't want that... I never wanted that... You shouldn't have come... Why did you come?" the boy repeated in an almost whimpering tone, gentle fingers caressing Seishiro's bruised temple delicately.
"Subaru-kun... you're mine... didn't I promise you he would never touch you again?" he reminded him, leaning into the touch. Only Subaru-kun's touch could feel so nice, almost featherlike and yet so lovingly he...
"But I don't want you to get hurt! You mustn't get hurt! You shouldn't have come! I don't want you to get hurt! Ever!" the boy stated in the same tone he had used to yell at him before. Only, back then it had... disturbed him to have Subaru-kun yelling at him as if he'd been angry at him, while now he could understand it had been merely a reaction caused by worry and found it kind of cute.
"Subaru-kun..." he said gently, wishing only to reassure him. His Subaru-kun, so kind and caring...
"I don't want you to!" the boy repeated angrily gripping his shoulders and there was something frustrated and needy in that behaviour and he... Subaru-kun... he wanted to be with Subaru-kun... be never parted from him... he... he would rip Kamui's throat if the brat got between the two of them again... he... he would kill whoever would try to keep them apart...
"Subaru-kun..." he whispered before dragging the boy close, as close as humanly possible, into a tight, possessive embrace, their lips meeting.
The next second they were too busy kissing each other to argue. How long had it been since the last time they had kissed, kissed for real? After what Kamui had done to Subaru-kun kisses had always been fleeting and, now that Seishiro thought about it, never on the lips. He had no idea why they hadn't kissed before but, now that they were doing it, it felt definitely good and he wanted more and Subaru-kun seemed of the same opinion. Their grip around each other tightened, touches became urgent and... and... and he made the stupid mistake of trying to free Subaru-kun of his shirt.
He could have banged his head against the wall in frustration as the boy quickly broke their embrace with a gasp and turned away, leaving him unsure about what to do. He saw that Subaru-kun had wrapped his arms around himself, trembling slightly and mentally cursed himself. He should have remembered the boy was... vulnerable right then, he should have remembered it wasn't a good idea anymore to try to undress Subaru-kun without warning him first, he should have remembered... instead he'd been an idiot and he'd only managed to upset Subaru-kun and need a cold shower himself.
"I'm sorry, Subaru-kun," he said, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I didn't mean to push you, I..."
"That's not it!" the boy exclaimed, tightening his hold around himself as he shook his head. "I wanted to... and I can't... and it's just... it's so... not fair... I'm so sorry, I... I..." Subaru-kun trailed off and Seishiro simply dragged the boy closer to himself and rubbed his back soothingly. Maybe he wasn't the only one who was frustrated and that wanted their relationship back as it was before.
"It's okay, it's my fault, I went too fast. Hush, Subaru-kun, there's no need for you to be so upset, calm down, I should have been careful not to startle you, it's all right," he assured him, knowing that if he allowed Subaru-kun to start one of his guilt trips the situation would only worsen. The important thing right then was to calm him down. Slowly the boy turned to hug him, burying his head against his neck like a needy child. "It's okay," Seishiro whispered into Subaru-kun's ear again. "It's okay, now we'll go real slow and we'll see if I manage to get you at least out of your shirt." He felt Subaru-kun's body tensing again and fought back the urge to groan. "Socks then? It shouldn't be too hard to get you out of your socks. Socks aren't scary... unless you've been wearing them for quite a long time..." he offered. This relaxed Subaru-kun a bit as he offered him a hesitant smile. Beautiful, Seishiro thought as he kissed him gently, trailing his fingers through Subaru-kun's hair. Maybe he should think of it as if it Subaru-kun was still an inexperienced teenager and this was his first time and in a fashion it was. First time without a spell in between them. Let's try... it was just a matter of being gentle and slow... and maybe wary... and to ignore those tiny nips that the boy was giving his neck that where threatening to shatter his control and... and...
Hours later they were lying together under the covers. Socks, shirt and undershirt, Seishiro counted mentally as he kissed the boy's forehead. And thank Kami-sama for the invention of hand jobs. He wondered if they should try blowjobs also. They weren't too fond of it. They just liked to hold each other, and kiss each other, and call each other, and hear each other whispering the other's name. Hand jobs... weren't exactly their favourite thing either but it would do for the moment. It was a step forward. He only had to make sure it was the first in a series.
"That's my Wish, Subaru-kun," he whispered slowly. "To be just the two of us with _no one_ getting in between." A Wish that had been a bit troublesome that morning since in order to get rid of who was trying to get in between them he would have been forced to risk Subaru-kun's life which wasn't an acceptable option. He was glad everything had worked out in the end. Subaru-kun snuggled closer and Seishiro enjoyed the sensation of their skin touching. "Subaru-kun... Kamui said..."
"I don't want you to get hurt," Subaru-kun said simply, guessing perfectly what was on his mind. "Not even a scratch. I won't allow anyone to hurt you," Subaru continued, eyes darkening. For Seishiro-san the world was simple. He didn't care about it and expected the world to just do the same and leave him be or, even better, to do his bidding. If not he would make it regret. Subaru... Subaru was the type who thought forward. He wanted the world to be a safe place for Seishiro-san, he wanted him to never be threatened. He wanted him to live.
"That's sweet, Subaru-kun," the man replied, hugging him tighter. He just didn't realize the whole depth of Subaru's Wish, his whole meaning. Sweet. To Seishiro-san his Wish was just... 'sweet'. Subaru knew Seishiro-san never thought much of him. To him Subaru was just a frail toy he had taken for temporal amusement and which he had grown particularly fond of. Seishiro-san was gentle, affectionate, jealous, protective with him but, as he told him many times, he viewed him as his possession, nothing more. Recently... recently after those horrible things had happened, he had almost seemed... he had seemed... but Subaru knew better than to delude himself. It didn't matter. Seishiro-san didn't love him but he loved Seishiro-san and that was all that mattered.
Despite the life he had lived until now Subaru was a Ten no Ryu, a Ten no Ryu born to protect his own Special Person. He was going to do just that, protect the one for whom he could erect a Kekkai, he was going to protect him any way possible and at any price and that was his Wish.
As the Chi no Ryu's Kamui had said he too suffered the Ten no Ryu's fatal flaw. A flaw that someone was planning to use against him.
To be continued...
JJ's Notes:
1. In the manga you can see that, when Yuzuriha spotted him, Fuma was over the Japan Tobacco Building which is in Minato.
2. Yuzuriha and Kusanagi from 'X' Vol. 13.
JJ's Extra Notes:
I guess I'll never be satisfied with how this chapter is but it seems I can't write it any better... also I know you're all disappointed but Subaru isn't going to recover from what had happened as fast as many would like him to. He will still need time, patience and care. To make up for this, however, he's recovering in adjusting his own perceptions and slowly developing a sense of independence.
Also, Hokuto is getting used to Seishiro. She still doesn't trust him completely but they've made some progress.
Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-sama: "Lord" or "Lady"
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Kami: God
Kekkai: Shield
Maboroshi: Illusion
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based on the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakanagi: "Reverse effect". Backlash of a spell
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill whomever threatens Japan
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven
Replies to reviews:
To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!
To laustic: Yes, Seishiro is slowly learning Subaru's importance and how horrible is, for him, to be without him. It's a hard lesson and Subaru's not helping... and more troubles are on their way...
To Francesca Akira89: Well, Seishiro's not so fond of how Subaru's getting his memory back but that's not his main problem. The real problem for him is to keep Subaru all in one piece...
About the punctuation formatting problem... no, I didn't forget or made a weird stylistic choice. For unknown reasons when I uploaded the chapter on it turned out like that so I had to reupload it. Thank you for warning me.
To TsubasaSyaoforever: WOW, thank you for all your comments!
Seishiro is very protective of Subaru and he'll become even more protective in future. As for Subaru he'll always stay loyal to him! Sadly the Sumeragi needed someone to replace Subaru. They knew to have Hokuto as head wouldn't be like having Subaru but they NEEDED a family head. Yes, TB knowledge helps a lot to understand the characters. No, Seishiro isn't blind in his eye, that incident never took place here.
As for the spell... well, it had been placed before Seishiro had felt the need to seduce Subaru into his bed... and he hadn't used it to force Subaru to sleep with him, even though it had conditioned Subaru's actions...
The DOH live in a two stores house. It has western style elements but I've seen anime characters living in western style houses and still removing their shoes when they enter in them so I figure the DOH are the same.
Yes, in TB subaru doesn't complain about shots but he's 16. Hokuto remembers him making a face when he was 8 and since Seishiro spoiled him in his own way he never grew out of his disliking for medicines. You'll discover more about the incidents in the future, don't worry!
To Zuzanny: Well, since the manga is unfinished I've no idea if CLAMP and I have planned the same ending for the characters...
To French Toasted Pancake: (blushes) thank you a lot for your kind words! I'm truly happy you like this story! Yes, the story contains a good amount of Subaru torture (sadly Subaru is born to be tortured) but Seishiro has his own share as well... and I agree he's delicious when he's possessive... ;)
Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!
Send me your comments!