Title: "Careful With What You Wish - Chap 37: In The Air Tonight"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA. It requires knowledge of the 'X' manga. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), some OOC, a bit of sappiness, twisted relationships, suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, violence, general insanity and other things I might have forgotten... Deal with this fic with caution...
Notes: This is dark and twisted, dark and twisted, dark and twisted... have I mentioned it's dark and twisted? It's born to show a less nice Seishiro, how bad Fuma's idea that Wishes must be fulfilled is and how stubborn Subaru can be no matter what happened to him.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" & "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks:
To Ruth for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
To Moko, Tanuki-dono, Meffie, Sakanagi and Yupita for supporting me while writing this fic! Thank you a lot!
Summary: After meeting Subaru in his Maboroshi 16 years ago Seishiro chose to keep him and placed him under a spell so that he would obey him. Now, in the year of destiny he has to face Sumeragi Hokuto who wants her brother back and Monou Fuma's obsession for fulfilling wishes...

'We should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.' Andy Rooney

"And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord

Well I remember, I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget, it's the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me
The hurt doesn't show; but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you or me."
(Phil Collins - "In The Air Tonight")

Hokuto was preparing tea when she heard a knock at the door and wondered if Kamui-chan and the others were already back. She hoped so. When Sei-chan had gone upstairs sulking like the big baby he was, Subaru had immediately followed him, worried for him even if he had no reason to be. She had warned him that he babied the man too much. After all Sei-chan was an adult and, if he wished to sulk like a three years old it was his own problem, but Subaru had just blushed, said he didn't want him to be unhappy whatever the reason and gone after him anyway.

She had rolled her eyes at that, although she hadn't been able to stop herself from thinking he was always so cute when he got so worried about Sei-chan!

But now the problem was those two hadn't come down yet. She had a nagging suspicion about what they were doing upstairs and had been tempted quite a few times to go there to... well, suggest they take a break since it couldn't possibly be healthy to go at it for so many times or for such a long time but, so far, she had managed to resist it admirably.(1) However she was bored and she was also feeling alone. It was nice Subaru worried about Sei-chan that much but... she couldn't help but feel neglected. It was silly of her, of course, Subaru didn't mean to neglect her, it was just he didn't remember her well and that he loved Sei-chan but... She sighed. She would be happy to have Kamui-chan and the others back, to distract her from such thoughts.

She was quite surprised when she opened the door and saw that, instead of Kamui-chan or one of the other Ten no Ryu, right in front of her there was a panting Kakyou with another blond man she had never seen before who was giving her a charming smile, a blond man that felt... powerful.

"Kakyou? What..." she began to ask nervously. Kakyou was a Chi no Ryu but he would never come here with bad intentions toward her, would he? Kakyou however didn't let her finish the sentence.

"Hokuto. We've got to be fast. Your brother is in danger," he said quickly and she felt the colour draining from her face. Subaru? In danger? It wasn't possible, what...

Seishiro's mind was floating somewhere, reluctant to move from wherever it was even though Seishiro could sense that something was... out of place, missing, wrong. He groaned, feeling cold and disquieted, slowly becoming aware of a nagging and increasingly loud sound at the back of his mind. A side of him tried to ignore it as he stretched his arm, planning to wrap it around his sleeping companion. Surely, once he would hug Subaru-kun... Subaru... against himself everything would be alright. Surely with Subaru... in his arms he would... he froze when he rested his hand where Subaru... should have been and met... empty space. Reluctantly he opened his eyes a bit, frowning. Subaru... wasn't there... Subaru... wasn't in bed next to him... that wasn't making sense... where was... Subaru...? Had he already gotten up? Why hadn't he waited for him? Where had the boy gone now, he asked himself, his frown deepening as he acknowledged that the disturbing sound he was hearing was someone banging rudely against his door.

He sat up, his head still heavy with sleep. He groaned, shaking it in an effort to clear his thoughts. This... this wasn't normal... he shouldn't be that sleepy and Subaru... wasn't around and the window was open and Hokuto-chan was banging at the door calling for him and Subaru... He groaned, a side of him unreasonably wishing only to return to sleep, while his instincts were screaming at him to get up immediately. He shook his head again, trying to clear his thoughts some more as he stood a bit unsteadily and put something on before going to open the door. Absently he thought it was a good thing he had locked it, using a spell. He really didn't like the idea of Hokuto-chan barging into the room while he and Subaru were busy and... Wait, when had he locked the door with a spell? He didn't remember doing it... and if he'd done it where was Subaru? How had he left the room? Why was he still so sleepy, so sleepy as if he'd been put under a... sleeping spell? No, that wasn't possible, why should Subaru ...

"Hokuto-chan, where's Subaru?" he asked immediately as he forced the door open, violently shattering the spell with one of his own, frowning at the girl as if she could be the one responsible of Subaru's disappearance. "What happened? Where..." he trailed off, blinking as he saw that Kuzuki and Kigai were with Hokuto-chan. What were two Chi no Ryu doing there? Was this some sort of weird dream?

"Sei-chan! Subaru is going to get himself killed if you don't stop him!" the girl exclaimed in between tears, gripping his shirt, her words causing a rude awakening for Seishiro.

"Subaru's what?" he asked gripping the girl's shoulders tightly enough to bruise her, ready to kill on the spot whoever could place a threat to Subaru, even his sister. "What in the world are you talking about?" he yelled, shaking her angrily. He'd just gotten Subaru back! Subaru had just started to recover from what had been done to him! The little monster (because it had to be _him_, _him_, no one else would manage to be a threat to Subaru) wasn't allowed to get close to his Subaru ever again!

"He's gone to fight Fuma-kun at Rainbow Bridge!" Hokuto explained in between tears, the worry for her brother gnawing at her insides, stopping her from noticing how Seishiro was hurting her. "Fuma-kun will kill him if you don't take him away from there first! Please, Sei-chan, save my brother! Save Subaru!"

Rainbow Bridge was strangely devoid of cars that night.(2) The wind was blowing strongly, ruffling the hair of the two lone figures that were facing each other in the middle of the bridge.

A twenty-five years old Onmyouji and an insanely powerful teenager.

A Ten no Ryu and a Chi no Ryu.

A protector of humanity and a protector of Earth.

Ready to fight each other.

As far as Subaru was concerned that scene presented nothing new. He had seen it millions of times from when he was a child. The only difference was, in his dreams, he had always assumed the Onmyouji on the bridge was Seishiro. He was glad it was going to be him instead. Maybe using a sleeping spell on Seishiro and then shutting him in their room hadn't been very nice toward him but... but it would be worth it. If it kept Seishiro alive it would be worth it.

Kamui smiled, the same way Seishiro would smile, moved the same way Seishiro would move and for a moment he thought... No. It won't work this time. This time he couldn't let it work, he decided stubbornly, his gaze never wavering from... Kamui. That was Kamui, he reminded himself determinately. He might look like Seishiro but he was _NOTHING_ like him.

"I see you're here to fulfil your Wish, Subaru-kun," the teenager said, imitating the half amused, half careless tone Seishiro was so fond of. It was just that though. An imitation. He wasn't Seishiro, but a threat to Seishiro's well being and Subaru... Subaru couldn't let someone threaten Seishiro's existence. He swallowed, hating what he was going to do but knowing he had no other options.

"My Wish... my Wish is for you to die, Kamui. Will you really fulfil it?" he asked. He had never killed anyone, he didn't want to start that night but... he saw no other option. The white lady had warned him. It was either Kamui or Seishiro. He couldn't let Seishiro die so... he would have to kill Kamui.

"So murderous tonight? The Sakurazukamori must really be a bad influence on you..." the other replied nonchalantly, as if that sort of discussion was commonplace to him.

"You..." Subaru hesitated. It was just a teenager he was facing, Kamui's best friend, an innocent who was sort of possessed by something, Subaru had no idea what, but, despite the horrible things the boy had done, it wasn't fair to blame him for what his body was doing, it wasn't fair, it wasn't... It was only a moment. He knew that sort of reasoning wouldn't lead him anywhere. "You're a threat to Seishiro," he continued firmly. "I know he wants to fight you. I know he's not a match for you. I won't allow you to touch him," he said simply.

"Oh? And what makes you think you could possibly be my match? You fought me pretty poorly last time," Kamui pointed out. "You know you're no match for me. You don't want me anywhere near you. You're deadly afraid of me, of what I can do to you."

"Yes, I'm afraid," Subaru admitted honestly. "But my personal fears are unimportant here. You're a threat to Seishiro. It's the only thing that really matters. I can't let you live even though I'm no match for you. I don't need to be. If you are still on the bridge when it crumbles... you'll die," Subaru observed. "Not even you would be able to survive to this."

It was a simple plan, really, and it could even be an effective one, Kamui thought, if it wasn't for one tiny, little detail.

"And how do you plan to trap me here?" he asked but Subaru didn't reply verbally. He simply concentrated his power, his whole life essence, his soul and then released it in a perfect, green glowing, star-shaped Kekkai that covered all Rainbow Bridge and only Rainbow Bridge. If Kamui were to blow up the bridge while the Kekkai was still up he wouldn't have any way out.

"I'm a Ten no Ryu, Kamui. You shouldn't have forgotten that," he reminded him coldly before grabbing a handful of Ofuda. Kamui smiled coldly, raising his hand in order to focus his power. The predicament he was in could be resolved only one way. He would have to kill the Sakurazukamori's pet and, doing so, destroy his Kekkai before being free to blow up the bridge. Sure, he'd have to be careful not to damage the bridge too much in the process but... oh well... it wouldn't take him long. The Sakurazukamori's pet might be very determined but what could he do against the power of Kamui, against the power of 'The One Who Hunts The Power Of Kami-sama'?(3)

It was getting late and Kamui was being plagued by doubts. The Chi no Ryu still weren't attacking and Hinoto... Hinoto... Hinoto had seemed strange. He couldn't quite explain how, it was just... the feeling of a Kekkai being raised far from them caught him in mid thought. A Kekkai? Why? Where? Shouldn't the Chi no Ryu have attacked Yasukuni Jinja? He had no answers to his questions and, apparently the same could be said for his companions. He concentrated, trying at least to find out who had created it and where.

"SUBARU!" the boy exclaimed, opening his eyes as he finally recognized its author.

"This is Subaru-san's Kekkai!" Yuzuriha exclaimed as well.

"Has anything happened at CLAMP Gakuen?" Sorata asked in confusion, firmly believing Subaru to still be there. Had they been attacked in their own home? But still... why was Subaru-san raising a Kekkai? Wasn't Sakurazuka-san keeping him as far as possible from any battle? And why attack CLAMP Gakuen anyway?

Kamui closed his eyes again, tried to concentrate again. With his mind's eye he saw Subaru, saw Subaru looking at a dark shadow, a dark shadow, a familiar shadow...

"FUMA! Subaru is fighting Fuma!" he shouted.

"The Chi no Ryu's Kamui attacked CLAMP Gakuen?" Sorata said in wonderment but Kamui knew that that place wasn't CLAMP Gakuen, it wasn't, it was...

"It's not CLAMP Gakuen, it's Rainbow Bridge!" he informed them, receiving only shocked glances in reply.

"But Hinoto-hime said that the Yasukuni Jinja was about to be destroyed...!"Yuzuriha exclaimed in bewilderment. Inuki started barking wildly at that and she stared at him even more confused. "What's wrong, Inuki?" Kamui frowned and without waiting longer, he began running toward Rainbow Bridge. Sorata called him back and he paused hastily.

"I have to go to help Subaru!" he replied urgently. Subaru couldn't compete with Fuma, and Fuma... Sorata nodded.

"We will all go. He is too terrible an adversary but if we face him together maybe we stand a chance," he decided. They all nodded, Sorata dispelled his Kekkai and then they all ran away, toward Rainbow Bridge, hoping to be in time. (4)

In the water-like world of her dreams Hinoto, smiling evilly, was observing the Ten no Ryu running toward Rainbow Bridge. She knew no matter how fast they ran, they couldn't save their companion.

*It's useless... I will make the Ten no Ryu die one by one...* she said, looking at them.

Her other self too was observing the same scene but her eyes were filled with tears. She didn't want the Ten no Ryu's death. She hadn't gathered them for that reason. She... It was then she noticed a shadow in her own prison.

*Why... are you here...* she asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper.

"Our dreams are connected, and the place where you are imprisoned, is also in dreams..." Kakyou whispered back, careful to not be heard by Hinoto's other self.

*Stop... my other self... If it goes on like this the Ten no Ryu will...* she whimpered.

"I can't stop her," Kakyou replied. "I am one of the Chi no Ryu and you should know that the future cannot be changed but..."

*But?* she asked hopefully.

"But our visions can be misinterpreted or incomplete and I'm here to ask you if that could be the case..." he said slowly. "I want... I want Subaru-san to be saved..."

*I'll do everything I can to help...* she replied wholeheartedly.

In all truth Kamui had to admit he was impressed. He'd been wrong in underestimating Sumeragi Subaru. He had no idea what had been wrong with the Sakurazukamori's pet the last time they had fought each other but now... now the fighting abilities he was displaying were impressive. Not at Kamui's level but... impressive.

The Ten no Ryu used a mix of skills, some clearly belonging to the Sakurazukamori and some to the Sumeragi Ichimon, all executed perfectly and with ease as if he'd done nothing else but practice them all his life. While his attacks were definitely not as powerful and deadly as the Sakurazukamori's, they were far faster and much more accurate. They had a higher chance of hitting to hit him and, if they didn't manage to hit him, despite not causing as much damage as one of the Sakurazukamori's would have done, it still was enough to slow him down, to make him more exposed to a new attack. And the Ten no Ryu wasn't holding back. He seemed disgusted by what he was doing, repulsed at the idea of taking a life, even if that life was the one of the Chi no Ryu's Kamui, but still he was unwilling to surrender. He was an interesting opponent, Kamui admitted to himself.

It was really too bad for him he still wasn't strong enough to be a match for Kamui.

Kamui's blows were definitely not so fast but they caused a greater amount of damage. Even if the young man was faster than Kamui in moving away, his speed wasn't enough to completely save him from damage. Moving so fast to attack and to avoid, concentrating so hard in all those spells, the damage he got from what he couldn't avoid... all of this was affecting the Ten no Ryu's ability. And the Ten no Ryu was less physically resistant than Kamui... he really wouldn't manage to last much longer. Actually a less determined man would have already given up but Sumeragi Subaru was revealing himself as maybe the most stubborn among the whole team of Ten no Ryu. He simply refused to give up, uncaring of the pain, the tiredness and the lack of success of his efforts. He wouldn't last for long.

Kamui, however, frowned as he noticed the bridge was starting to dangle dangerously, chunks of it missing already. Of course the wide effect of Kamui's power had as downside that, every time he used it, he ended up damaging the bridge seriously, and Kamui had to be careful in the damage he inflicted to the bridge if he wanted to avoid destroying the bridge while he was still trapped on it. He knew the Kekkai would fade only after the Ten no Ryu's death and it would likely be a slow matter. Blowing up the bridge while the Ten no Ryu was still alive was going to be risky for Kamui too. He had to kill that Ten no Ryu. And he had to do it now.

Seishiro was running, running as fast as he could, cursing all the way. How could Subaru be so stupid to go face Kamui? How could he? Hadn't he already seen how strong Kamui was? Hadn't he already seen he was no match for the crazy teenager? He finally caught sight of the shape of Subaru's Kekkai and hoped he was still in time. It was the second time Subaru did this to him, leaving him alone to go fight a deadly battle that wasn't even his to fight. This time, once he'd made sure Subaru was safe and sound, he would give him a scolding he would remember for the rest of his life. Subaru wasn't allowed to risk his life like this. Subaru... memories of what Hokuto-chan had told him not too long ago intruded in his thoughts.

'You know, you should just tell him you love him and you can't live without him and avoid all that pointless possessive behaviour!'

'It's not pointless possessive behaviour, Subaru-kun _is_ mine.'

'Sei-chan, has no one ever told you that in order to own a heart as much as you would like to do, one has to give one's own in exchange?'

'Hokuto-chan...'

'Fine, be a chicken, don't admit your feelings for him, I don't care! But don't come whining to me if one of those days Subaru dumps you! You'll end up losing him and then you'll only have yourself to blame!'

Should he have told Subaru some silly romantic nonsense he didn't believe in, in order to keep him? Had he done that would Subaru have stayed with him instead of going to throw away his life in a pointless fight? He had never seen much of a point in telling such lies to Subaru, it made no difference to him if he loved Subaru or not. Subaru was his, Subaru would have to stay with him, he didn't want Subaru to leave, he had made Subaru aware of all this, what else was there to say?

'I know. I trust you. I... I love you... you know...'

'You do?'

'Don't you know? I already told you many times. Didn't you believe me?'

Subaru had told him, though. Maybe Subaru saw a point in that romantic nonsense, maybe he needed it, maybe, since Seishiro hadn't told him, he had felt unappreciated and had ended up doing something idiotic. Subaru always did stupid things when he failed to remember he was Seishiro's most precious possession... Maybe... maybe... maybe... He... he wanted Subaru back. He needed Subaru back. Once he had Subaru back he would tell him whatever Subaru wanted to hear, he didn't care what it was, a lie, the truth, romantic idiocies, whatever... Once he had Subaru back... He needed to have Subaru back... Without him...

A horrible feeling of dread filled him.

No, that was an option he couldn't consider. Without Subaru... Without Subaru... He couldn't see a point in living without Subaru, not even for revenge. He couldn't live without Subaru and that wasn't any romantic nonsense, it was just the scary, horrible truth... He had no idea why he couldn't live without Subaru, why something inside him would simply refuse to function if the boy wasn't with him but he knew... he knew... if Kamui were to kill Subaru... If Subaru were to die... he would die too... that was certain...

Kamui panted as he watched the Ten no Ryu in front of him coughing blood while leaning on one of his knees, apparently too weak and badly injured to stand. Kamui thought he would surrender but then he saw his green eyes raising slowly and determinately toward him, green eyes filled with pain but still willing to fight and then the weak and seriously injured body of the Ten no Ryu moved to stand up, which was kind of a miracle considering the condition the man was in, a miracle archived merely due to pure stubbornness and strong will. Kamui would have whistled in appreciation but at the moment he was busy pressing his hand on a bad cut on his right arm. The blood flowed freely and said arm was broken and dislocated to boot. One of his legs was in bad condition too.

"I've got to admit... I underestimated you... You can be rather... feisty when you want to," he said panting, a smile on his lips. The other didn't reply, too busy saving his breath and trying to get a standing position. "However our game ends here. It's too bad you aren't really capable to Wish for the death of a person, isn't it? Even after what I've done to you, you still value my life as important. You have no more strength to oppose to me and it's time to fulfil your true Wish, giving your life in order to protect the one you care for, in order to be of some use to him. I hope the Sakurazukamori knows how much he matters to you. Does he care for you the same way?" he asked and a different type of pain flared in those green eyes, a pain that wasn't of the body but of the soul.

There was no answer as the Ten no Ryu merely picked up another Ofuda. No, apparently he thought the Sakurazukamori didn't care for him. Too bad for him.

That was going to be his last attack and they both knew it. Kamui smiled. The man was still planning to kill him but the bridge was still whole enough for it to keep on standing until the Kekkai would fade and then... then it would be easy to finish it off if the earthquake that would result from the destruction of Kekkai wouldn't do the job for him. He observed his opponent. The Ten no Ryu had no remaining strength enough to make that attack dangerous for Kamui. Earth Wished for a change, he reminded himself... and he was a mere Wish fulfiller... He collected his power and felt it crackling around himself. He too was drained but he still had energy enough to kill his opponent, fulfilling his Wish. It wasn't his fault if the Ten no Ryu judged the Sakurazukamori someone worth dying for. It wasn't his fault if Earth Wished for a change. It wasn't his fault if he was the Chi no Ryu's Kamui. He regretted killing the Ten no Ryu but that was his destiny and he couldn't avoid it. There was only one future, after all.

"Goodbye, Ten no Ryu," he said in a gentle whisper. "You fought bravely against me but now it's time for you to rest..."

As soon as he finished speaking he released his power, while, at the same time, Subaru threw his last attack. There was a blinding flash of light, a horrible noise and then... then Subaru's Kekkai began to fade.

To be continued...

JJ's Notes:

1. In case you're wondering Hokuto had no idea Seishiro and Subaru's sex life wasn't that active previously. Readers might remember in one of her conversations with Kakyou he had implied they were having problems but she thought they had already managed to solve them. I guess she was being a little too optimist.

2. In 'X' Vol. 16 there are no cars on Rainbow Bridge when Seishiro and Subaru fight each other. I've left it in this fic too.

3. Okay so Fuma has to blast Rainbow Bridge to break the Kekkai it generates. The fact he's trapped in Subaru's Kekkai with no way out makes it so that if he destroys the bridge he won't have the time to escape. Of course if he kills Subaru, Subaru's Kekkai will fall and he will be free to blast the bridge away, break its Kekkai and escape. Problem is Fuma's power has a large radius of action and Subaru's fast at avoiding. Subaru isn't stronger than Kamui (though he _is_ strong) but he hopes either Kamui will be worn out before him or that, in order to kill him, he'll damage the bridge too much to manage to escape from it afterward (he also has a backup plan... when Seishiro is involved he can be a resourceful boy). Oh and I know the anime makes it look as if they know how to fly. I assumed they don't okay? By the way, Subaru being fast and Kamui having a large ray of power are characteristics given to them in the videogame. I kept them for this battle.

4. Okay so this scene is partially as it is in the manga. I don't know well how the 'guess who made a Kekkai, where this person is and how he's fighting' ability works but I assumed Kamui is the most skilled at it among the Ten no Ryu so that's why he guessed things first (it happened in the manga too). By the way in the manga only Arashi and Kamui went on Rainbow Bridge (in the anime the whole gang went there). Here, I still sent the whole gang because Subaru's fighting Fuma. Sure it'll leave Yasukuni Jinja unprotected but well... it's Fuma we're talking about.

br JJ's Extra Notes:
If you're wondering why Hokuto didn't go to save Subaru herself despite being the kind of girl who would very much do it given the chance even though she is no match for Fuma, yes, there are reasons for it.
This is the second time in this fic Subaru has to fight against Fuma. In the manga in the beginning he wasn't doing bad but then he saw Fuma looking like Seishiro and completely lost concentration and will to fight back. Here he's managing to put up a fight. I know many in the fandom think Subaru is weak but I think in truth he must be rather strong. Of course you're free to disagree.
And yes, Seishiro hasn't figured out yet he loves Subaru and that it would be nice to inform him about it. He's dense like that.

Dictionary:
-chan: used at the end of a name to express affection and familiarity or when talking to a child
-kun: Young
-sama: "Lord" or "Lady"
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Gakuen: Campus
Hime: Princess
Ichimon: "Family" or "Household" or "Clan"
Jinja: Shinto Shrine
Kami: God
Kekkai: Shield
Ofuda: Short, polite form for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based on the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyouji: "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill whomever threatens Japan
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven

Replies to reviews:

To TheEndofTag: Yes, Subaru too though the Onmyouji could be Seishiro. In this fic his style of fighting and Seishiro's has become similar due to the fact Seishiro had shared with him many techniques and, as you probably had already read, Subaru had a great incentive to fight Kamui as hard as he could despite his normally more defensive stance so he and Seishiro were really replaceable in the dream. In X canon with Seishiro's death Subaru 'died' as a dragon of heaven and, likely, something inside him died as well and he wasn't so dependant on Seishiro as he's here... though I still think he would manage to handle losing Seishiro better than Seishiro would handle losing Subaru as Seishiro is a major fail in handling emotions, expecially when they're so strong.
Kakyou doesn't believe the future he had seen can be changed so his plan is more to find a way around it.
Seishiro has a realistical view of what he is in the eyes of other people in general but has only a vague grasp of Subaru's feelings for him or of his own feelings for Subaru at the moment and most of the time he doesn't want to deal with all of this on the premise he believes/want to believe there's no need for it as he insist he can keep the situation under control, no matter how hard destiny is trying to prove him he can't.
In this he's very similar to a child that believes that if he's to close his eyes everything around him will really disappear. Despite this he's improving, at least compared to how he was in the beginning, but he still has a long way to go and many things to learn about relationating with another person.
Although he had figured up he much prefers Subaru to stay with him on his own free will he finds the loss of the control the spell gave him definitely unconfortable to say the least. He would like to stay in his little, happy bubble where there's only him and Subaru and it's Subaru the one who can't live without him and worship him and he has nothing to worry about and can be kind to Subaru and make him happy acting as some sort of benevolent God or rewarding master.
Subaru's death at the moment would affect him enough to drive him insane as he would be absolutely unable to cope with the pain and this would likely lead him to a early demise.

To Black Velvet Nerd: Kakyou did his best. The poor guy is really trying hard to help Hokuto (and Subaru). And sorry for making you wait so long for the update.

To Lemonysh: Well, as you could see hokuto didn't die, at least not in this chapter. Thank you for the vote of confidence, I hope you'll like the ending I've planned... which is not so close as this story still have much more chapters to come.

To WaterFlower66: Thank you, I tried to make them as accurate as possible. Yuto was a CLAMP school student in Hagunsei Senki (placed a year before CLAMP Gakuen Tantei Dan) as a university student but you could see a glimpse of him in CLAMP Gakuen Tantei Dan seated on a table. He's in Vol 3 if I don't remember wrong although he's just a cameo.

To reminiscent-afterthought: *blush* Thank you so much, I tried my best. Kanoe is still siding with the Chi no Ryu and spying or trying to spy her sister's dreams. However as so far her role didn't differ much from the one she had in X she didn't really got mentioned much. I tried not to retell what happened in the same way as the manga and focus solely on what went differently, which is why some facts are just mentioned briefly, like Kotori's death, Yuzuriha's fight with Satsuki, Daisuke's death and similar. X readers know them already so I didn't feel like boring them with a retelling of them exactly as they went in the manga.

To lady-ribbon: Thank you. I studied TB & X very carefully before beginning to write this.

To Guest: Thank you so much. I really hope you will continue to love this fic.

To XandyNZ: Sorry for making you wait for so long then!

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