Chapter 5

Today is the 20th and we have a Hogsmead trip this morning before the ball. So I decided to separate from the guys to do some Christmas shopping. When I saw Lily walking alone I decided to follow her because I thought it was strange seeing her without a crowd of friends. She walked up to a shop window and stopped to stare at something. After a few minutes Lily headed off in the direction of Hogwarts. So I quickly walked up to the store window to see what she had been looking at.

When I finally got back to Hogwarts I went to get some lunch then I headed up to my dormitory. It was around 2:00pm and the girls were already getting ready, crazy! When I walked into my room Charlee came running up to me shouting "Lily, Lily you got a package! Open it!"

"Alright hold your horses."

"My what! Is it a muggle thing?"

"Yes," I said as I opened the letter.

Dear Lily,

Consider it an early Christmas present.

With Love

"How odd," I said as I started opening the present.

"Oh my!" I gasped.

"What is it?" Charlee asked. I showed her and she asked,

"Whose it from?"

"It didn't say."

"Who ever gave this to you must adore your eyes." It was the beautiful necklace with a green emerald dangling from it that I had looked at in the shop window this morning.

"I have wanted this for months."

"Who do you think sent it? Maybe it was Oliver."

"No, he would have put his name on it. He would have wanted the credit."

"I bet it was James!"

"Potter? Yeah right he's not sensitive enough to care. I'm going to wear it tonight with my new dress robes."

"But won't Oliver get upset?"

"Only if he finds out, but no one is going to tell him right?"

"Of course, I wouldn't say a thing."

It was 5:45pm and I had told Oliver that I would meet him in the Great Hall. So I set off down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. James was sitting in a chair next to the fireplace. When I walked down the stairs starring at me.

"What do I have something on my face?"

"No you look, beautiful," he said as I blushed.

"Thanks, you don't look to bad yourself."

"May I escort you to the entrance hall milady?" James asked with a bow.

"You may," I said as we linked arms and he led me out of the common room.

Oh my gosh! Lily looks so amazing she is wearing a white dress robes and her beautiful red hair is in ringlets on the top of her head with some cascading down her neck. I can't wait to see Oliver's face when he sees me with her. Ha! He is going to be so pissed! And best yet she is wearing the necklace I got for her. It looks mesmerizing with her eyes. I bet she never guesses it was from me.

Ahhh I'm so nervous I hope that I don't trip. Although it feels nice to be walking with James he seems to be happy and…

"Lily you look wonderful."

"Thank you," I said.

"Potter"

"Diggory"

"Lily I'll see you later. Save me a dance," said James as he walked over to his date, Sunyi Chang a pretty Asian 7th year in Ravenclaw. A little jealously rose in my chest as I stared at them together.

"Lily are you ready to go in?"

"Oh, yes," I said surfacing from my thoughts. When we walked into the Great Hall and I was speechless it had been completely transformed into a white winter wonderland.

"Wow."

"Would you like to dance?"

"Yes," I gasped as he grabbed my hand and lead me on to the dance floor. He wasn't that bad of a dancer he only stepped on my foot once and after a few songs we decided to sit down at a table to eat.

"Please," I asked I want to go sit with Charlee who was with Sirius and James who was unfortunately there with Chang.

"Alright," he finally caved.

As we sat down they all greeted us with warm remarks. Then Charlee and Sirius continued their conversation about Quidditch and the house cup. Chang was telling James what she thought about the ball so far.

"Lily, Lily? Were you listening to a word I was saying?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm still mesmerized by the decorations." James gave a little snort noticing my lie.

"Wouldn't you agree Potter?"

"Yes of course Lils," said James knowingly.

"Lily, would you like to go for a walk?" asked Oliver.

"Um… sure," I said nervously getting up and walking outside to the garden with Oliver.

"I'm really having a good time with you."

"So am I," I replied.

"Lily, I have something to tell you. Now you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I just wanted you to know that I… I love you." What am I suppose to say to that? Do I love him back? Would it be wrong to say it back if I wasn't sure?

"I like you a lot," I said. Then I quickly kissed him so nothing else could be said. After awhile we walked back into the Great Hall quickly. I went to sit down again at the table but before I could get there James came up to Oliver and me.

"Lily, may I have this dance? You don't mind?" James asked turning to Oliver.

"No, I don't mind."

"I would 'love' to," I said as we linked arms and he led me to the dance floor. Anything to get away from Oliver right now I thought.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Of course. What about you and Sunyi?"

"Oh, Sunyi and I are just friends."

"Really, maybe you should tell her that because I don't think that's what she thinks." We both laughed at this.

"What song is this?"

"I think it's a muggle song."

"I like it."

"Yeah, me too."

"Its kind of fitting," said James.

Over and Over by: Three Days Grace

"Feel it everyday its all the same it brings me down but I'm the one to blame I've tried everything to get away so here I go again chasing you down again why do I do this over & over & over, over & over, I try not to It feels like everyday stays the same its dragging me down and I can't pull away so her I go again chasing you down again why do I do this over & over, over & over you make me fall for you over & over, over & over I try no to over & over, over & over you don't even try to so many thoughts that I can't get out of my head I try to live without you every time I do I feel dead I know what's best for me but I want you instead I'll keep on wasting all my time over &over, over & over, I fall for you over & over, over & over I try not to over & over, over & over you make me fall for you over & over, over & over you don't even try to"

When the song was over we just stood there in the middle of the dance floor.

"Why can't I love him?" I questioned myself.

"What?" James asked.

"Nothing." I replied quickly, as I continued to stand there with a glazed look in my eyes.

"Earth to Lily! If I don't get you back to Diggory soon he will kill me," James said shaking me a little.

"Wait, could we go for a walk?"

"Um…. Sure if that's what you want."

"It is," I said as I led James out to the gardens. We walked around until we found an empty bench to sit on.

"I was wondering if you still liked me as more than a friend?" I blurted out quickly.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Well, it's just that this year you have been so different. Is this what you are really like or are you changing for me?"

"No, this is really me. The only reason that, I was weird last year was because usually when I'm around you I get nervous. And well, this year I have been able to control myself."

"Does that mean you don't like me anymore?"

"Why does that matter?"

"I need to know."

"I don't like you Lily, I never did."

"Oh…"

"Isn't it obvious that I love you." The next thing that I know he's leaning over and kissing me. It wasn't a soft kiss like Oliver's. Oliver treats me like I'm going to break. No, James pushed back as he deepened the kiss and there were fireworks. No, literally there were fireworks!

"No!" I said as I broke the kiss.

"Lily, I…"

"No, this is wrong! I'm with Oliver! I like Oliver!"

"Lily, I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I'm not. I would kiss you again right now if you would let me."

"Why do you always have to ruin everything!" I yelled storming back into the ball, racing through the great hall and back to Gryffindor common room with James chasing after me. Oliver must have seen us because he started running after James. When we reached the Fat Lady James and I were still yelling at each other.

"Me, me! I didn't start this if you recall correctly it was you who started asking all the questions!"

"That was a mistake! But you were the one who wouldn't stop!"

"Because I lov…"

"What is going on here?" interrupted Oliver. I looked over at him with tears streaming down my face then I turned to James.

"You've ruined everything!" I yelled. Then I turned on my heals and walked through the portrait hole and up to the girls dormitories.

"What the hell was that all about?" demanded Diggory.

"I don't understand what she's on about but even if I did I wouldn't tell you."
"Why?"

"It's none of your business."
"It is too. She is my girlfriend or have you forgotten Potter! And I've never seen her so upset in my life!"

"You obviously haven't been around long."

"What have you done to her?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. She'll be fine and I'll talk to her later," I said turning and stalking off.

AHHH! I hate James Harold Potter! I have strong feelings for Oliver! How dare he make me doubt them! I couldn't sleep and it's 2:30am! So I decided to walk down the stairs to the common room to sit in my favorite chair by the fireplace because watching the fire always makes me sleepy. When I reached the chair I looked up and none other than James was sitting there starring into the fire. Just as I turned to leave thinking he wouldn't notice.

He called out, "Lily wait we need to talk."

"About?"

"What happened."

"I need to know why you let me kis…"

"Don't ever say that out loud and promise me you won't!"

"Fine, why did you then?"

"I don't know… it was a mistake."

"I don't believe you, because if you loved Diggory you wouldn't have asked me what I felt for you because it wouldn't have mattered."

"Who are you to tell me how I feel!" I yelled.

"Lily calm down."

"Calm down! Calm down! I will not calm down because I hate you Potter! You always ruin everything!" I screamed with tears rolling down my face again. Just after I finished people from the dormitories started coming down stairs to see what the problem was.

"Lily?" Charlee called from the crowd. "Are you alright?" I was confused and didn't know what to do so with one last glance at James I ran out of Gryffindor tower.

"James what is wrong with Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing," I said as I quickly headed back up stairs to my room. But Sirius, Remus, Charlee, and Peter were following close behind. So I jumped into my bed and closed the curtains around it. Sirius ran over and threw them back.

"What the bloody hell is going on with you and Lily? First you both disappear without a word for 30 minutes, yes I kept count, at the ball, and when you come back you are chasing her while she is yelling at you for running something. Next you can't sleep so you go down to the common room. Then you and Lily end up yelling so loud that you wake the entire Gryffindor house. And when everyone comes to see what is going on Lily is in tears and running out of the common room and as soon as she leaves you bolt off. So I'll repeat the question what the bloody hell is going on with you two?"
"Nothing," I said annoyed. "Why do you all have to but in? This isn't your business."

"Don't give us any of the bullshit," said Charlee, "I have never seen Lily look so hurt and confused. What did you do?"

"What did I do? I did nothing it was more of something that she did and 'claims' to regret. Bollocks that's what I think. Besides I promised that I wouldn't say anything. So if you want an answer you'll have to ask her.