Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA, it probably contains some OOCness and a bit of sappiness, uses Japanese words (the dictionary is at the bottom) and includes some spoilers...
Notes: Based on the idea that there can't be a Heaven on Earth but that being with your loved one helps a lot...
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensitive heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews, so please be honest but nice, okay?
Thanks: To Ruth for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
Summary: Poor, mentally unstable Subaru is convinced he's finally been killed off on Judgement Day, when he wakes up again in a hospital and discovers things went radically different from how he remembers them... And when he starts getting used to this new reality weird things start to happen that make him wonder whether it's really him who's having distorted memories or if there's something behind all this...
The day after Subaru and Seishiro slept in.
Well, actually, despite sleeping less than usual, Seishiro awoke with a start at an almost normal hour, smiling as he saw Subaru was still slumbering in his arms, all curled up against him like a kitten in search of affection, his hands still clinging to Seishiro's shirt. Cute.
Seishiro didn't attempt to get up, nor did he move more than he had to, careful not to wake the boy up, contenting himself with watching him as he slept next to him. He gently trailed his fingers through Subaru's hair or over his body, enjoying his presence next to him. It felt so good to have Subaru back, to have him sleeping quietly in their bed, right next to him, as if nothing wrong had ever happened, as if everything was as perfect as before. He felt almost disappointed when the boy awoke on his own not much later, making a weak whimpering sound, as if it pained him to leave the quiet of his sleep. Seishiro saw Subaru blinking sleepily as he looked around, his gaze settling on Seishiro as soon as he saw him. The boy absently rubbed his face, as if trying to wake up some more, looking very much like a lazy kitten as he resumed snuggling up against him, enjoying the warmth of Seishiro's embrace with a blissful sigh. Then, as he became a bit more awake, Subaru finally became aware of where he was and with whom, tensing and looking at Seishiro anxiously as if he feared the man would push him away. Seishiro noticed his frightened expression and just smiled at him, reassuringly.
"Good morning!" he announced happily, doing his best to transmit the idea everything was okay and perfectly normal, figuring that Subaru, in his likely still confused state, couldn't be sure about it. "Did you sleep well?" he then asked kindly. Subaru hesitated for a moment before answering with a weak 'Good morning' and making a tiny nod, keeping himself perfectly still apart from that, as if he were afraid that, if he moved, Seishiro would disappear.
"That's good," Seishiro replied, keeping the merry faade, although he couldn't help but moving his hand to caress Subaru's hair soothingly, like one would do with a scared child and pulling him closer. He really couldn't help it. Subaru just looked so young, cute and vulnerable like that... He had to cuddle and coddle him. His actions seemed to reassure Subaru a bit as the boy, hesitantly, took Seishiro's hand into his own, studying it carefully. By then Seishiro had learnt to recognize that gaze and what it meant.
"Just in case you're wondering I'm real, not an illusion, a ghost or anything else," he informed Subaru with a grin, forcing himself to sound joking and closing his hand around Subaru's. Subaru returned his eyes on him, stared at him for a moment in silence, then sighed in relief and made another tiny nod of acceptance. Good, Seishiro thought as he resumed petting Subaru and caressing his cheek gently. It seemed the boy was finally starting to accept that this was reality and everything else his memory told him was simply delusion. It was progress of sorts.
To be honest, though, Subaru wasn't that sure what he was experiencing was reality and not a dream but he was willing to give it a chance. However, when Seishiro-san pulled him even closer, moving from light caresses to a tight hug, Subaru tensed again, looking at him anxiously, although for a completely different reason. Hugging while standing up, both with their clothes on, was one thing, hugging in bed, wearing only pyjamas was something different altogether...
Seishiro-san didn't seem to notice as one of his hands moved to rub Subaru's back while the man gently kissed the boy's forehead. It felt odd to be treated like that, such a situation was completely foreign for Subaru, but it wasn't unpleasant and he was tense more in fear of messing up than anything else. Things changed though when Seishiro-san's caresses, that in the beginning were just soothing and helping him to relax in that new situation, started feeling like they were...
Subaru sat up quickly and would have fallen off the bed if Seishiro-san hadn't caught him.
Subaru nervously glanced at the man as he was pulled back onto 'safe ground' then, as Seishiro-san released him, he began to stare obstinately into his lap, feeling scared and tense. What was he supposed to do now? What was all that supposed to mean? Should he let Seishiro-san do as he pleases? Did he want him to? Did it matter?
He flinched and tensed further as he felt Seishiro-san resting his hand gently on his cheek then, when the man did nothing else but gently rest his hand on Subaru's cheek, Subaru ended up leaning into the contact hesitantly.
"It's all right," Seishiro-san whispered to him, his other hand holding Subaru's and stroking it reassuringly and Subaru looked at him, not knowing what to say or do. Seishiro-san was being so... so gentle with him, awaking memories he'd believed he had buried forever inside himself, memories of the happiest year of his life. It was beautiful and horribly painful at the same time and Subaru didn't have the slightest idea how to deal with it, too afraid that was just a dream from which he would eventually wake up even more desperate than he was before. Seishiro-san gave him time, looking at him gently, as if willing to wait for Subaru to be ready before doing something. Subaru swallowed and tried to say something but, as soon as he opened his mouth, he realized he had no idea what to say and closed it again, looking at Seishiro-san pleadingly.
"Subaru... is the problem that you don't remember or that you don't want to do this?" Seishiro-san asked him in the end, apparently understanding Subaru had no idea how to begin that conversation.
"Remember? Remember what?" he asked quietly, feeling slightly confused. He swallowed again. After all, what was there for him to remember? A fake kindness that had lasted for a year only and that to him had meant the world while for Seishiro it had been only the source of a fleeting amusement and that had _never_ been that intimate? What? Or had things been different here? Or was he deluding himself again?
"This," Seishiro-san answered dragging him closer and kissing his neck in a definitely not so fleeting manner, although his hold around Subaru was... gentle somehow, as if he was holding something precious, not just a toy or a possession. Subaru froze, completely stunned, not knowing at all how he was supposed to react. Before, Seishiro-san had never showed interest in him in that way, except for a little teasing and he...
Seishiro raised his head to look at him.
"You don't remember. You don't remember at all," he stated. He saw Subaru shaking his head nervously, looking as if he felt guilty and embarrassed at the same time. This was going to be complicated, Seishiro thought. No wonder Subaru was that shy around him if he didn't even remember which kind of relationship they had. "Here. Come here, Subaru," he asked, dragging Subaru to sit on his lap, not caring that the boy was twenty-six. Subaru tensed for a moment, then, hesitantly, he just curled up against Seishiro like a scared child, causing the man to smile down at him fondly. No matter how old Subaru was he was still as cute as he had been when he was little. "Everything will go well, Subaru, I promise," Seishiro whispered before kissing him again on his forehead. It was a chaste enough kiss, one that, he knew, wouldn't confuse Subaru much. "Here. It's not a bad feeling, is it?" he asked. Subaru didn't dare to raise his eyes to look up at him but shook his head. Seishiro smiled. That was more or less the same reaction he got the first time he kissed Subaru, even if at that time it hadn't been such an innocent kiss. Considering their situation, however, he figured he would do better by starting small and taking slow steps. He changed his hold around the boy in order to make him more comfortable and, when Subaru seemed to appreciate the shift in his position, he slowly started trailing gentle kisses through the boy's hair and face, giving Subaru the time to get comfortable with it.
Luckily it didn't require as much time as he feared it would.
After all, even if Subaru didn't remember Seishiro knew what Subaru liked and what he did not and even though the boy wasn't exactly answering back, he was submitting quietly to those attentions, leaning into Seishiro's touch, even if a bit hesitantly, slowly getting used to the situation and beginning to relax. Kisses gradually moved from a mere gentle brushing to something deeper and more passionate and when Seishiro raised Subaru's head toward him and lowered himself to finally kiss Subaru's lips the doorbell, of course, had to ring, interrupting him and ruining the mood. Subaru clung to him instinctively as if afraid whoever was at the door could separate them. Seishiro sighed. He had a suspicion about who could be at the door. He could only hope he was wrong.
"Let's ignore the bell," he whispered into Subaru's ear, his breath tickling Subaru's skin, before he bent down to kiss the boy's exposed neck. Subaru made a tiny breathless sound and Seishiro... Seishiro cursed under his breath as Hokuto-chan's shrill voice was clearly heard inside his house. Why had he been so foolish to give to the girl his address and a pair of keys? Oh yes, because Subaru had asked him if they please could and he had never been able to say 'no' to him when Subaru adopted that adorably cute puppy dog expression.
"Sei-chan! What in the world are you doing with my brother?! Do you know your phone is disconnected? Do you have an idea how worried I've been?" Hokuto-chan yelled, her voice clearly audible through the entire house and, likely, the neighbouring ones as well.
"Hokuto-chan, you'd better wait where you are," Seishiro yelled back, not really enjoying the interruption. Did Hokuto-chan have to barge into his house just when he was making progress with Subaru? Said Subaru looked up at him, confused.
"Is she really Hokuto-chan?" he asked weakly as if he couldn't believe his own ears.
"I told you she was alive, didn't I?" Seishiro replied, considering that right then he wouldn't have minded much if she wasn't, but careful not to let Subaru know this. The concept of Hokuto-chan being still alive and in the house sunk slowly inside Subaru's brain and, when the boy finally grasped it, he looked scared rather than embarrassed.
"She hates me now, doesn't she?" he whimpered quietly. "She hates me because it's all my fault, it was all my fault, and I... I'm so glad she's alive again but I don't want her to die and I..." he started babbling, burying his face against Seishiro and making no sense at all since Seishiro was sure it was impossible for Hokuto-chan to hate her brother, no matter what he did or believed he had done.
"Subaru, everything is all right, calm down," Seishiro told him in his best reassuring tone, mentally cursing how Hokuto-chan not only had interrupted them but also had to come to his house to cause further problems... "Hokuto-chan didn't die in the first place and she's not going to do it anytime soon. And she definitely doesn't hate you," he assured Subaru.
"But it was my fault she died and..."
"That never happened. Remember what I told you? It never happened," Seishiro repeated slowly. "It never happened so don't worry about it." He saw Subaru staring at him as if trying to understand if he was lying or not.
"That never happened?" he echoed weakly.
"No, it didn't."
"That never happened," he repeated, more in order to persuade himself than because he believed it. There was a pause of silence then... "I'm going insane, aren't I?" he whimpered anxiously. Seishiro forced a smile.
"You're just confused. You'll need some time to readjust to everything but when you'll do everything will make sense again, so don't worry. However, we'd better get up now before she comes barging in to force us," Seishiro pointed out. Subaru blinked, then grew embarrassed as he realized the implication of it. "Or would you rather stay in bed while I handle her?" Seishiro asked him and this time his smile wasn't forced at all. Subaru shook his head.
"I want to be with you," he stated. Seishiro grinned.
"Then let's get dressed," he suggested.
Once he was dressed Subaru followed Seishiro out of the bedroom, childishly clinging to his sleeve. He saw Hokuto-chan, looking like he remembered she had looked in his hallucination at the hospital, the hallucination that Seishiro-san had said hadn't been a hallucination at all. She was waiting for them, hands on her hips and a man behind her whose features were familiar ... but he seemed too healthy to be the Kakyou he remembered. He looked gentle and patient while Hokuto-chan... she looked angry. He knew she had every reason to be angry with him and wished he could hide behind Seishiro-san.
"Sei-chan, you two should know better than to sleep in so late," Hokuto-chan said by way of greeting but, as soon as she caught sight of Subaru, she moved toward him. Subaru instinctively shrunk back as she came closer to him, clinging to Seishiro-san, irrationally fearing she could hurt the man or part them.
Hokuto froze and stared at her brother, clinging to Sei-chan like a scared child and yet, at the same time, there was something protective in his behaviour, as if he feared she would hurt Sei-chan.
"You'd better tell him you're not dead or angry at him," Seishiro suggested, wrapping his arm protectively around Subaru and rubbing his back soothingly.
"Of course I'm not dead, Subaru, how could you think something so silly?" she asked stunned. Sei-chan had mentioned something like that at the hospital but she had believed that, once Subaru knew the truth, he wouldn't worry about it anymore. Subaru, however, seemed only to grow more scared. He was a rather pitiful sight, one that made her heart ache. Her brother had never looked like that before. "Subaru, I'm fine, here, look at me," she told him softly, resting her hand on his cheek. "I'm not mad at you, I swear. It was an accident, you don't have to worry about it."
"I didn't mean to cause your death," her brother whimpered, looking pleadingly at her and she understood why Sei-chan had been so worried about him. Subaru had never, _never_ looked so utterly lost, scared and miserable. "I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry, Hokuto-chan..."
"Subaru, you did nothing wrong. I'm not dead," she repeated again but Subaru's eyes were clouded with too much pain and he stared at her as if he couldn't understand what she said. She hugged him then and he untangled himself from Sei-chan to hug her back tightly, bubbling apologies that made sense to him only. Hokuto didn't miss though, how Sei-chan kept his hands on her brother's shoulders as if he was reluctant to let Subaru go for even a second.
"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Hokuto-chan?" the man asked shortly, as if to invite her to break her embrace with Subaru and return her brother back to him and, in fact, as soon as she released Subaru, Sei-chan was fast in recapturing him in his arms. Not that Subaru seemed to mind.
"Since I know you're a horrible housewife and Subaru has only just been released from the hospital, I thought I'd drop by and make sure he'll eat something nutrient as any older sister would do!" she exclaimed brightly, taking care to sound as if nothing was wrong. Subaru, trapped in Seishiro-chan's hold, just stared at her without showing any enthusiasm. Sei-chan complained he knew perfectly well how to cook for his Subaru. Subaru pointed out weakly that he 'liked Seishiro-san's cooking'. She stared at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"Seishiro-san?" she echoed. If Subaru had ever called the man that, it had been before she was introduced to him. She saw Subaru shrinking closer to Sei-chan, as if fearing she was going to take the man from him and she looked at him with concern, wanting to know immediately what exactly was wrong with him. Before she could ask any questions though, Kakyou rested his hand on her shoulder.
"Hokuto, maybe you should give your brother some time before starting to question him," he suggested gently, before turning to Subaru. "I'm glad to see you are better, Subaru-san. I'm Kuzuki Kakyou, your sister's husband, in case you don't remember." Subaru bowed in response to the greeting, not as deeply as the three of them were used to but more than Subaru remembered doing before awaking into the hospital.
"I'm glad to see you're fine as well, Kuzuki-san," he said hesitantly, not exactly sure if he should point out the last time he saw the man he had been in coma. Hokuto-chan looked at him with even more concern, then forced herself to smile cheerfully.
"Kakyou is your brother-in-law, Subaru. You can call him just Kakyou. We're a family, after all," she said in a forced light tone. Subaru looked at her numbly as if what she had said made no sense to him and, even if seeing him like that was better than when he had been unconscious at the hospital, it was still tremendously painful. Sei-chan nuzzled his head against Subaru's and her brother turned to look at the man as if he was the only thing that kept him from going insane. She forced herself to keep on smiling and to believe that, in given time and with proper care, her brother would get better.
"Well, I'd better start preparing lunch immediately!" she decided. "You're coming with me, Subaru. You'll feel better if you do something productive," she stated, grabbing Subaru's hand and then dragging her confused brother toward Sei-chan's kitchen.
Seishiro sighed as he watched her march into his kitchen as if it was her house, dragging his Subaru away from him.
"Kakyou, couldn't you have kept her away a bit longer?" he complained to the man.
"This is Hokuto you're talking about, Seishiro. Consider it a miracle she wasn't here yesterday," Kakyou replied tonelessly. He and Seishiro had never been too fond of each other and they called each other just 'Kakyou' and 'Seishiro' more due to lack of respect than due to any closeness.(1)
They stared straight at each other. Kakyou was the first to turn away his gaze.
"I know what you did," the man said softly to Seishiro. "You'd better never let either of them learn," he added, referring to the Sumeragi twins. Seishiro smirked humourlessly.
"Well? No reproaches? No 'you had no right to do it'?" he asked in a challenging tone.
"Had I been in your place I would have done the same," Kakyou admitted. "But he won't be the same. Ever."
"But he will get better," Seishiro stated, even if he didn't sound as sure as he wanted.
"I don't know, you messed up his destiny way too much with what you did and my gift has faded significantly of late," Kakyou replied without adding deep down he truly hoped he would completely get rid of it one day.
"I didn't start this," Seishiro muttered grumpily.
"You have never been good at taking responsibilities," Kakyou countered in a disapproving tone.
"If I were to have the impression that you knew what was going to happen that day and did nothing to stop it, you would be a very dead man," Seishiro assured him, eyes narrowing.
"If I had known I would have done something. Hokuto can be scarier than you when her brother's well-being is involved," Kakyou stated, smiling fondly toward the direction his wife had taken.
"SEI-CHAN!" Hokuto's angry voice called from the kitchen.
"Now you're in trouble," Kakyou observed, still smiling softly in his wife's direction. Seishiro sighed as he walked toward the kitchen. The things he had to suffer for Subaru...
As soon as he was in the kitchen Subaru threw him a half guilty, half scared look and said nothing.
"Why didn't you tell Subaru how he got hurt?" she asked immediately and glared at him.
"I didn't have the chance?" Seishiro offered. Why did Hokuto-chan always have to tell him how to deal with Subaru? He was sure he was much better than her at taking care of him, after all and didn't need her advice at all. Hokuto-chan complained at his reply, Seishiro defended his reasons.
Subaru stared at them, his gaze moving from one to the other in confusion. He hadn't meant to make them argue... he hadn't meant... he hadn't meant...
The air filled with the scent of Sakura... Hokuto-chan's Shikifuku fluttering in the wind... Seishiro-san moving toward her... the words of a spell he couldn't recognize... blood... blood everywhere... blood... his sister falling... Seishiro-san falling... the world shattering...
"Subaru-san!" someone called as darkness started to swallow everything. He had the impression he could hear Seishiro-san and Hokuto-chan's voices calling him as well, then nothing else.
Seishiro had moved to catch Subaru as soon as he began falling. Subaru sagged against him limply and he was fast to cradle him in his arms, checking his condition. Subaru murmured something in a pained tone but didn't awake. Hokuto-chan panicked as she called her brother's name hysterically. Seishiro ignored her and carried the boy to the couch where he laid him down carefully. He seemed physically fine, though Seishiro, for the life of him, couldn't figure why he had fainted all of sudden. Maybe too much sudden stress? Kakyou handed him a glass of water for Subaru and he managed to have Subaru swallow some before his green eyes fluttered open again.
"Seishiro-san?" Subaru called weakly.
"I'm here," he replied immediately. "It's all right, I'm here."
"Hokuto-chan?" he asked then.
"She's fine too," Seishiro assured him, moving Subaru's hair away from his forehead. Hokuto-chan grasped Subaru's hand and put it against her cheek.
"Subaru..." she cried anxiously, for once unable to say anything more. Subaru gazed at her for a moment, as if to make sure she was real, then returned to look at Seishiro.
"There was... I saw... I didn't mean to, I swear, I..." he babbled, looking at Seishiro pleadingly.
Seishiro pulled him into his arms and held him close, cradling him slightly and repeating to him everything was all right. Subaru curled against him, continuing to babble apologies, burying his head against Seishiro's chest as he clung to the man's shirt. Hokuto-chan kept looking at him with concern.
"Maybe you should take him to a hospital to have him checked up," she suggested.
"Subaru is going to stay with me. I'll take care of him," Seishiro stated, glaring at her threateningly, while his hold around Subaru tightened.
"Sei-chan..." she protested.
"No," he insisted stubbornly and she knew she had no way to oppose to him right then. Not that she liked it.
"If something happens to Subaru I'll consider you responsible," she threatened back, causing Subaru to whimper and cling to Sei-chan even more tightly. "You shouldn't have let him go alone to do that exorcism, tired as he was, especially on his birthday!"
"It was your grandmother's idea, not mine!" Seishiro countered, sounding rather irritated. He ended up making Subaru more anxious at having the two of them argue over him.
"But you shouldn't have..." she began to protest anyway.
"Hokuto," Kakyou interrupted her. "You two will end up making Subaru-san even more agitated than he is. Why don't we go back into the kitchen and I'll help you prepare lunch while Seishiro calms him?" he asked her. She hesitated as she looked at her husband, then glanced again at Subaru who was still clinging to Sei-chan.
"Take good care of him and don't leave him alone," she warned before doing what her husband suggested and retreating into the kitchen again.
Seishiro watched her leave then, once alone with Subaru, he began caressing the boy's back to soothe him.
"Everything is okay, Subaru. I'm here now and I'll never leave you," he assured him. Subaru kept babbling something Seishiro couldn't understand but he seemed to slowly grow calmer. In the end his babbling died down and he simply clung to Seishiro until he fell asleep again, emotionally worn out. Seishiro looked at him worriedly. Whatever those panic attacks were, they always completely exhausted Subaru but that wasn't the main problem. The real problem was that he had no idea how to stop them and he feared the effect they could have on Subaru's psyche in the long run.
He held Subaru tighter. No matter what, this time he wouldn't allow anyone to part them again.
Subaru was his and he would be forever.
To be continued...
JJ's Notes:
1. In Japanese lack of honorific can mean familiarity but also disrespect.
JJ's Extra Notes:
Yes, Subaru isn't doing well. At all. It'll take quite a bit of time before he'll recover, though he's also making some tiny progress. As for Seishiro, he's trying to be patient and helpful. He's just not very good at it.
Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Replies to reviews:
To laustic: Subaru is in a rather pitiful state, truly, but, as you said, having Seishiro around help. He wouldn't manage without him. And I'm glad you love the cuddling!
To Zuzanny: Subaru too would like for this to be real but, so far, I can't tell if it is! Yes, Subaru's totally confused by this new reality, he needs time to learn to love it or better, to learn to believe it to be real. He would love this reality if he only could believe it not to be some sort of dream... As for what you wondered... LOL well, in a fashion Subaru will meet Subaru... sort of. I can't tell you more!
To Francesca Akira89: Sadly Subaru's condition isn't good and for even more deeper reasons than the ones you can guess. (blushes) I'm glad I managed to transmit his feelings. For the poor boy it was a rather traumatic moment and I was afraid I hadn't pulled it out right... yes, you'll see Kamui, he'll show up soon (chap 8 actually) and you'll get a glimpse of their relation!
To kingleby: (blushes) I'm happy to know I managed to keep the emotions/situations realistic. Subaru's condition can't be fixed easily he really has lot that's burdening him but I was afraid people would have preferred for him to heal at a faster pace...
To DeepWaterBlack: I'll try to be gentle with Subaru as much as I could but Seishiro insist as long as I give him chances to hug and cuddle Subaru everything is fine. Well, if you want a little spoiler I'll let you know Subaru will end up answering to the phone in the next chapter... there you'll see his reaction!
To Anonymous: I'll try to keep on writing and I'm gla dyou love this story!
To Shinken16: I love your theory A LOT but I can't tell you if that's what had happened... (I'm evil, I know...) I took advantage of the fact this is an AU to have a Seishiro who's even more prone to cuddle than in TB (funny enough in TB Seishiro liked to hug Subaru... his own way...). I'm glad you understand why Subaru is the way he is (also there's an extra reason for Subaru to be that way but you'll find out much later...). LOL Seishiro really has no idea what the eye was about... but when he'll find out he'll have bigger troubles to deal with... I kind of pity him...
To Behan: WOW! Long review! i love long reviews! I'm happy to know you like how the boys are in this fic! Poor Subaru needs Seishiro more than the air he breathes as of now... it'll took him a while to manage to get back to a 'normal level'. Well, things aren't easy for Seishiro's either. He's not a very symphatetic person and he's already being way more patient than normal only because there's Subaru involved in this but it's hard for him to accept all this (and, on top of this, there are some previous issues than, while on a side make him more prone to be kind with Subaru, on the other are making the situation even more comfortable for him...). I assume after Seishiro's death for Subaru the most important thing was Seishiro's eye, the only thing that pushed him to go on and do what he did (becoming Chi no Ryu and Sakurazukamori). So, when he found out he lost it... well, as you saw he didn't take it well. As for what had happened... well, as you can guess Seishiro knows more than he's telling Subaru... and your senses are right about some things... not telling which ones though... (I'm evil, I know). As usual wishes are involved but I won't/can't tell you anything else... (blushes very red) Well, I can only hope you will keep on loving this story as it goes on! Thank you a lot for your support and your wonderful review!
To rainbowbunniie: I'm flattered you signed up just to leave me a review! Apart from the most obvious one there's an extra reason for Subaru's insanity that turned him way different from the X Subaru we all know and love. LOL I would like to see the boys kissing soon as well but Seishiro is taking things slowly since Subaru's definitely not well... (actually Seishiro's the one who's the most anxious to resume kissing Subaru and not only... this situation is rather frustrating for him...). The fic will be finished, I promise!
To Cere-Sempai: (blush) I'm happy you love this story! Don't worry about your comment, I'm glad you found the time to let me know you like this story. It's rather sad when I've left to wonder if people who read it enjoyed it. And I would love if you were to draw some scenes from this fic! If you were to post them in the net, please, let me know where!
Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!
Send me your comments!