Title: "Game Over or Continue - Chap 10: 10th Level"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA, it probably contains some OOCness and a bit of sappiness, uses Japanese words (the dictionary is at the bottom) and includes some spoilers...
Notes: Based on the idea that there can't be a Heaven on Earth but that being with your loved one helps a lot...
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensitive heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews, so please be honest but nice, okay?
Thanks: To Ruth for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
Summary: Poor, mentally unstable Subaru is convinced he's finally been killed off on Judgement Day, when he wakes up again in a hospital and discovers things went radically different from how he remembers them... And when he starts getting used to this new reality weird things start to happen that make him wonder whether it's really him who's having distorted memories or if there's something behind all this...

Actually Seishiro didn't exactly keep his word. Subaru spent most of the day after asleep, since Seishiro knew he had to catch up on his sleep before they could start talking. He even went so far as to bring him breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed. Subaru, who was so tired he was reduced to the level of a nervous wreck with a pounding headache and over-sensitivity to everything that made him want to cry because of the silliest things, did as he wanted without any discussion and didn't even try to get up from bed. After all, if he were to be honest, he had never believed Seishiro-san would explain anything to him. In addition he wasn't sure he wanted to know or that he could bear the truth. Besides, he really lacked the strength or even willpower to discuss things and since Seishiro-san, despite not really explaining anything, remained with him nearly all the time, holding him in the same reassuring way he had the night before or sitting next to him, stroking his hair, mercifully made it easier for him to get some quiet sleep.

It was only two days later, after making sure Subaru had gotten plenty of rest, his headache was gone and he wasn't about to fall into hysteric crying anymore that, after they had lunch, Seishiro decided to keep his word and tell Subaru _everything_ about their past life together, in the hope this would reassure him and make things easier. Well... actually Seishiro's version of 'everything' included only the things he wanted Subaru to know. He was sure it wouldn't hurt anyone if he were to skip some details... and if it did... well, as long as the ones hurt weren't Subaru or himself he was fine with it. So he persuaded Subaru to sit on the couch, then, to Subaru's surprise, got the photo album Subaru had been eyeing for days and encouraged him to look at it. Subaru first stared at the photo album, then at him, blinking in confusion but Seishiro merely smiled and sat down on the couch as well, wrapping his arm around Subaru's shoulders and pulling him closer to himself.

"Let's look at it together," he suggested when Subaru still seemed hesitant to open the album. "Visual aid will make it easier to explain things after you've gotten an idea of how they were, and to help you to remember them. And I promise, there will not be bad things included."

"You promise?" Subaru asked in a small voice.

"I swear it," Seishiro assured. "I promised you already, didn't I? That I would explain things to you and that there was nothing to be scared about it because nothing would be bad."

"You did," Subaru agreed, though he didn't look at him and didn't sound reassured at all. Seishiro hugged him even tighter.

"It'll be all right, I promise," he repeated and felt Subaru leaning a bit against him like a puppy asking for protection before opening the album warily, as if afraid it could bite him. Cute, Seishiro thought as he kissed the top of the boy's head, as he had done from when Subaru was a child and they had just met.

Subaru said nothing as he went through the pictures hesitantly, honestly attempting to remember. The pictures started from when he was around nine. There were few about him at that age but their number increased considerably the more time progressed. He was with Seishiro-san in each of them. Sometimes there was Hokuto-chan also or someone else like Kuzuki-san or Kamui or one of the Ten no Ryu or Chi no Ryu but mostly it was just him and Seishiro-san. Seishiro-san was always grinning in them and he too, he too was always smiling, smiling like he didn't have a care in the world, his expression one of blissful happiness he couldn't remember having ever felt in his whole life. Not even in the photos that Hokuto-chan had shown him had he been that happy and that was saying a lot. However, sadly none of the scenes depicted in the photos was familiar to him, not even the ones which took place when he should have been sixteen or seventeen, the time in which he believed he had spent a year with Seishiro-san.

"He's not me," he finally said in a frustrated tone, unable to believe he could have been so happy and have forgotten about it. No, that smiling boy wasn't him. He couldn't be. It simply shouldn't be possible to forget he'd been so happy. He felt Seishiro-san dragging him closer to himself, hugging him tightly, almost protectively. He let him, though he felt unable to return the hug. It was all so horribly wrong. He wasn't the smiling boy from the pictures and if he wasn't, then he wasn't even the Subaru Seishiro-san wanted and, if that was true, then...

"Sure he's you. Don't you remember any of it?" he asked gently. Subaru shook his head, his body trembling slightly. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. He looked at the image of that smiling clone of himself and all he could think was it wasn't fair. Why weren't he and that boy the same person even though they looked exactly the same? Why?

"Subaru..." Seishiro-san called him and he shuddered. If he wasn't that boy then Seishiro-san had no reason to keep him, had he? "Subaru, what do _you_ remember that's so different from what I showed you?" Seishiro-san asked him then and he immediately tensed and retreaded into silence, turning his gaze away from the pictures. "Subaru... I can't help if I don't know," Seishiro-san prodded gently.

"You can't help. It's just... I'm not him..." Subaru admitted because he simply couldn't lie to Seishiro-san. Maybe he could keep things from him but lying... it was out of his league. "I'm someone else and... and..." A finger was pressed against his lips, silencing him.

"You're him," Seishiro-san assured stroking his hair soothingly. "I know you are. Stop saying you're not. What you remember... it's like a fever-induced hallucination, Subaru. It seems real but it's not. Now you only have to give yourself time and let me help you to remember, okay?" he asked but Subaru kept silent. "Subaru... please, let me help. What do you remember that is so horrible? What makes you feel so bad?" Subaru swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't really want to remember that, he... "It'll be like when you were a kid and had a bad nightmare. You'll tell me and it won't be scary anymore, I promise."

"I... I don't remember this either..." he confessed, his voice trembling slightly. He was feeling better than two days ago but he was nowhere near well yet.

"With time you will, Subaru. Now, let me help you. Tell me what's upsetting you so much. What do you remember that's so scary? Tell me, Subaru, I promise it'll make you feel better..." Seishiro-san insisted and Subaru sighed. Maybe... maybe giving him a little summary... maybe it wouldn't hurt. Maybe.

"I... I remember... meeting you under a Sakura when I was nine," he said slowly. He avoided mentioning the bet. They had already talked about it the previous night anyway and he really didn't want to talk about it ever again. Seishiro-san nodded encouragingly. "I... I remember... meeting you again at Ikebukuro Train Station when I was sixteen. You..." he hesitated, not too sure how to put in words that wonderful year that had only been filled with lies. "You stayed around only for a year, then you said I'd lost the bet and..." 'broke my heart, my arm, killed Hokuto-chan, got yourself cursed and left,' but he didn't want, he couldn't say that out loud to Seishiro-san. He just couldn't. So he skipped it, his body shuddering briefly as he tried to push away those horrible memories. "Then we ran across each other again in 1999. Two times. The last time you... you..." Subaru's body started trembling violently again as he remembered what had happened the last time he saw Seishiro-san. The bridge, the blood, Seishiro-san sagging against him and... and... Seishiro-san moved the photo album away from Subaru's lap and dragged Subaru into his arms, holding him close. Subaru snuggled against him, clung to him, burying his face against Seishiro-san's shirt. Like that... it was marginally better somehow, a bit more reassuring. "The rest... is hazy," he whimpered, not mentioning how he had got Seishiro-san's eye and became the new Sakurazukamori. "And on the final day Kamui... the Chi no Ryu's Kamui killed me... and then I woke up here and you were there and... and..."

"I know the rest, don't worry," Seishiro assured him. Subaru had never been a talker but really, he had hoped the boy would explain things in a somewhat more detailed way. Oh well, it was a start. He could work out something from it and maybe this would encourage Subaru to open up further.

"So, let's get things cleared up. We really met when you were nine, Subaru. I explained to you last night what happened. You still remember what I said, don't you?" he asked and Subaru nodded. He remembered what Seishiro-san said but he couldn't remember it happening. However Seishiro-san was caressing his hair and rubbing his back as he spoke and that helped quite a bit. It made him feel better, it made him feel loved and safe... as if he could really be the Subaru Seishiro-san wanted...

"Anyway... we met another few times while you were staying in Tokyo, even if I've got to admit I was mostly checking up if my adorably cute Subaru was keeping his word," Seishiro continued, tapping Subaru's nose. "I think I snatched you away and dragged you to the amusement park or to whatever other places we could have fun and sweets every time your grandmother turned her eyes away from you for a second. I fear she wasn't very pleased whenever she found you were missing," he admitted. In fact he had the sneaky suspicion she had been quite angry at Subaru every time but Subaru had never complained when Seishiro showed up to drag him away and, if he had been punished for it, he had always kept it to himself, refusing to share it with Seishiro. At the time Seishiro hadn't given it much thought. At the time he hadn't really cared about that weird child who was always willing to play with him, even when he was exhausted, and that always told him he cared for him, no matter what Seishiro did. On the contrary, Subaru always seemed anxious to get away with him, he always threw himself into his arms when he came to retrieve him, looking so very happy when Seishiro picked him up in his arms and looking so very sad when they had to part that, more often than not, Seishiro had unconsciously ended up spending more time with him than he had planned, just to not see him making that adorable sad puppy expression.

It was years later that Seishiro discovered that no one before him had thought of taking Subaru someplace fun, that all the grown-ups around Subaru were too busy focusing on his potential as Onmyouji to realize he was also a child who needed to play and to be spoiled here and there. Back then Seishiro hadn't realized the effect of his actions on Subaru. Seishiro had been a very self-centred teenager who hadn't worried about Subaru's wishes and tastes at all while he was dragging him around to places he wanted to go to, never asking the child if he wanted to come or what he wanted to do. Yet, the fact he wanted Subaru to go with him, the fact he took him to places where he assumed they both would have fun, the fact he talked with him about normal things and allowed Subaru to reply, all this had made Subaru feel part of what they were doing, had made Subaru felt wanted, had made Subaru felt free when in his house all this had been denied to him, when he'd been always confined to the role of observer of the others' lives and executor of the others' orders, tied by heavy chains of duty and obedience he had been unable to break. Back then Seishiro had been interested only in his fun but coincidentally had given Subaru something precious for which Subaru had been very grateful. And somehow, slowly seeing Subaru smile at him and being happy had turned out to be much more pleasing than what he usually did and he had ended up going out of his way just to make Subaru smile.

"See?" he continued, retrieving the photo album and opening it on the first pages. "Those pictures were almost all taken while we were in amusement parks or other places where we could have fun." He saw Subaru eyeing them without commenting, an unhappy expression on his face. "Don't worry, I don't expect you to look at these pictures and magically remember everything immediately. Your memory will come back with time. For now just try to get familiar again with your past, okay?" Seishiro suggested, doing his best to sound reassuring. Subaru nodded though he didn't look convinced. Seishiro pretended not to notice. "Good," he commented. "Now..." he continued, turning the pages of the photo album. "Here. We saw each other a lot less when you returned to Kyoto," he went on, pointing to some pictures that showed a background that Subaru had immediately recognized as Kyoto. Hokuto-chan wasn't in them, just him and Seishiro-san. Only he didn't remember meeting Seishiro-san in Kyoto when he was a child...

"Don't start troubling yourself again, I said," Seishiro chided him gently, before stroking his hair soothingly. "Give it time. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, while you were in Kyoto at best we saw each other around once a year and also the times I came there for a school trip. You dragged me around, showing me the city," he remembered, smiling fondly. Actually Seishiro had been interested more in trying Kyoto's local dishes than in sightseeing. Subaru had been the one who had insisted he had to see this or that and Seishiro had humoured him. Subaru had showed him the best of Kyoto, included the places one wouldn't find in tourist guides and that were known only to Kyoto's residents but also... all his secret places, the places Subaru liked the most and that he wanted to share with Seishiro. Seishiro had liked it. He'd liked the way Subaru wanted to share secrets with him, the enthusiasm he put in showing him around, the way the boy smiled when Seishiro seemed pleased with what he showed him, how he looked delighted to see him and sad when they had to part... oh, he had liked it a lot. Those were all among Seishiro's best memories and it was really unfair Subaru had forgotten it all.

"When you were sixteen you came to Tokyo and, yes, we bumped into one another at Ikebukuro Station. Actually you were trying to go to Shinjuku and had lost your way. It was the first day you were back in the city and it was kind of comprehensible even if you've been always horrible with directions," he added grinning slightly, while stroking Subaru's hair. "We were kind of neighbours for a while since we both resided in Kabuki-cho, not too far from each other. I think I met Hokuto-chan not much later, while she was trying to drag you to one of her friends' parties. You didn't want to go. At all. You had mentioned her many times but it was the first time I saw her. She made quite an impression," he commented. Subaru didn't dare to ask what exactly Hokuto-chan did, sure it was embarrassing. Seishiro spared him with the tale of Hokuto-chan scrutinizing him up and down when he declared she couldn't have Subaru for the day because the boy had promised to spend it with him (a lie he made up right then in order not to let Subaru go meeting other people), then starting to give him the third degree causing Subaru to get angry for the first time since he'd known the boy. It had been quite a surprise to see his normally cute and submissive Subaru put down his foot and flatly refuse to do what his sister asked him to do, reproaching her for her manners or lack thereof. From Hokuto-chan's startled reaction it seemed it was the first time she had seen her brother angry as well. In the end Subaru spent the day with him even if, back then, Seishiro had no idea why he hadn't wanted to let the boy spend it with other people. He hadn't done it to help Subaru out, that was for sure. He had just wanted to keep him for himself and it had seemed like Subaru too had wanted to be kept. From that day his relationship with Hokuto-chan had always been difficult, a mix of teasing and fighting over who of them owned Subaru more.

"When you were seventeen your grandmother wanted you to take part in an Omiai. You didn't want to. I told you to dump the old hag and come live with me. You said yes. We've been living together since then even if at the beginning we resided in Shinjuku."

Subaru's eyes widened at the idea. To flatly tell his grandmother he refused to marry the woman she had chosen for him and that he was going to live with another man who incidentally was a Sakurazuka... He didn't want to picture her reaction. He wondered if he would have been able to do so for a second. Then, as the surprise of having dared to say something like that worn out another thought struck him. Seishiro-san asking him to live with him. Seishiro-san wanting to live with him. Since he was 17. Sure, Seishiro-san had said they began to live together because he had asked and Subaru had said yes but... but he had thought there should be some sort of practical reason, a rational, almost professional reason and that it hadn't happened so far in the past. It seemed horribly ironic though that the time around which Seishiro-san had asked him to live together in his memory was instead the one when Seishiro-san had abandoned him.

"Didn't it bother you?" he asked quietly, his voice muffled as he buried his face against Seishiro-san and tried not to think of what Seishiro-san had told him that horrible day. "Didn't it bother you? To live with me, I mean. You had your house and your work... I was just a teenager with an unpleasant job and I'm a disaster at domestic work and..." ... and it simply didn't make sense for him that Seishiro-san might have wanted to live with him. It just... Seishiro-san kissed the top of his head, interrupting that course of thoughts.

"You haven't changed at all, you know?" the man asked with a fond smile. "Anyway, actually, before saying 'yes' you asked if it wouldn't bother me. I told you since I was the one who was asking you that, it should be a clear hint it didn't... as for the job, mine is worse and I told you to quit yours if you thought it could be trouble and to go on with the veterinary studies," Seishiro-san reported. "So, as you can see, there was no reason for you to worry about it or say 'no'," he added with a mischievous grin. Subaru looked at him even more confused.

"You're joking. You couldn't have suggested I quit. Obaachan would have killed me had I quit being an Onmyouji without having a better Onmyouji to replace me, especially if my reason for doing it was to move in with you. Not to mention she wouldn't have given me a single yen should I leave the Sumeragi Ichimon. With what was I supposed to pay the school? Scholarship doesn't cover everything and they don't give it to you if your family is rich, no matter if they refuse to pay for you," Subaru pointed out, not really seeing how Seishiro-san could talk as if it all had been that simple.

"You said that too. I told you I had more than enough money to pay for it and..."

"But it wouldn't have been fair! It was your money!" Subaru exclaimed instinctively. Seishiro-san sighed though he kept looking at Subaru with a fond expression.

"I feel like we're having a re-edition of that argument. Yes, you said that at that time too and that was why you continued working, though you agreed to move over with me. I would have preferred for you to quit," he added bending to kiss Subaru's forehead. "Really, I wouldn't have minded at all to pay for your scholarship and everything." Subaru lowered his eyes and wished he could remember all that. Sadly, all he could remember instead was quite different and made it rather hard to believe Seishiro-san's words. They... simply made no sense to him.

"Why did you ask me? I mean... you didn't have to, it was my problem and..." he said, his voice trembling slightly. He would have loved to live with Seishiro-san, actually he loved to live with Seishiro-san but he would have never dared to impose his presence on him as a teenager and even now, despite Seishiro-san's words, he still felt wary to move in the house, as if he were an intruder.

"I asked because I wanted to keep you for myself. I didn't want to share you. When Hokuto-chan says and I quote that I'm a 'possessive, jealous, egocentric brat who never learnt how to share in kindergarten' she's right, you know," he explained and smiled down at Subaru. "Except for the brat part. Maybe," he corrected himself. "Anyway you said you loved me the most and I didn't see why I should share you with some woman your grandmother would attempt to pair you up with. This way you've been all mine and I got a lot more time with you. Really, asking you to move in was the best idea I ever had," Seishiro-san concluded, grinning. Subaru didn't ask what his grandmother said about it. He didn't want to know and, if he had to be honest, wasn't really interested in her opinion anyway. He wouldn't have minded being disowned if he could have the chance to live with Seishiro-san.

"Anyway, back to the happy history of our lives... we moved here in 1999 when Satsuki-chan had the bright idea to destroy Shinjuku. She could have kept the place for last but... well she can be a jerk when she wants to," he explained with a shrug. "What else is there to say... Oh yes, you yelled at me a lot when I tried to fight the Ten no Ryu's Kamui prior to this, asking me if I had some death wish you weren't aware of. I guess I gave you quite a scare, though I'm perfectly able to take care of myself," he assured him, though he stroked Subaru's hair fondly. "Also... I know you fished out the Ten no Ryu's Kamui back when he went within. Hum... I think I caused Shibuya to crumble but I didn't really mean to, I was just doing a job there and it was Kamui who used the result of it to mess with Shibuya's Kekkai. You and I had a little argument when you tried to save the Ten no Ryu's Kamui from him on Sunshine 60 and, in the end, I had to save _you_ from the Chi no Ryu's Kamui but really, fighting Kamui to save that brat was really stupid of you, Subaru," Seishiro pointed out blatantly ignoring the fact he too had fought a Kamui and for much less noble reasons. "Then we didn't do much else except playing matchmaker for Hokuto and Kakyou. We were there when the Chi no Ryu's Kamui died. Afterward you felt the need to cheer the other Kamui up. Why is beyond me, though. The rest of the time had been quiet until one day you went to exorcise a ghost and somehow managed to let it hurt you to the point you ended up hospitalized and, when you woke up, I discovered your memory was all messed up," he said and he cuddled Subaru, holding him a little tighter. "It's okay though because I won't leave you and you still love me and everything is going to go well. Is everything clear now or is there more you want to know?" Seishiro asked then, fully aware he had skipped a lot of things but firmly telling himself they weren't important so Subaru didn't need to know them.

Subaru had the feeling something was missing, that Seishiro-san's tale was anything but complete but he was already overloaded with all the information Seishiro-san had given him and so he didn't try to question the man further and let it slide.

"I think so though... I don't remember any of it..." he admitted.

"It's okay. Didn't I already tell you to give yourself some time?" Seishiro-san reminded him. "I'm here, Subaru. I'll always be right next to you so, if you need me to explain anything all you have to do is to ask for it. Stop worrying, just relax and get used to your life again and then you'll see the past will come back to you as well, okay?"

Subaru hesitated a moment before nodding. Even though he desperately tried to remember what Seishiro-san told him he really couldn't but... but it was a nice past that Seishiro-san had talked about, one Subaru would have loved to have and, even if all Seishiro-san said could have been merely another of the man's lies, Subaru wanted to believe it to be real. He nuzzled closer to Seishiro-san and remained there, allowing himself to be cuddled as long as the man wanted to cuddle him, wishing he could simply... believe and that believing in it, would have been enough to make it true.

That same night the phone calls started again.

To be continued...

JJ's Extra Notes:
I'll be honest, this chapter didn't turn out as smooth as I wanted. Though you can get some basic info about Seishiro and Subaru's life prior to the incident I feel the whole talk is a bit too boring for my liking to the point I've been tempted to cut it all. Sadly it couldn't be skipped nor made more detailed or emotionally involving... you'll find out why later.
By the way, in case you don't remember, in the CLAMP universe Subaru and Seishiro really met in Ikebukuro station when Subaru was back in Tokyo, though they didn't bump into each other. Subaru was there for a job and tripped under Seishiro's gaze. The part about 1999 is mostly unchanged instead. Seishiro did fight Kamui, Subaru did 'fish' him back when Kamui went within and also fought Fuma on Sunshine 60, it was Satsuki who destroyed Shinjuku and Seishiro cooperated to the destruction of Shibuya inadvertently (he killed someone there, staining one of the buildings with blood and this helped Fuma to cause the place to be destroyed).

Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Ichimon: "Family" or "Household" or "Clan"
Obaachan: "Grandmother" or "Old Woman"
Omiai: "Love Seeing". Formal Marriage Interview
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based on the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyouji: "Person who practices Onmyoudo". Basically a magician, sorcerer, diviner and astrologer
Sakura: "Cherry Tree" or "Cherry Blossom"
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven

Replies to reviews:

To TheEndofTag: Thank you. I'm glad you liked Subaru's pov. In the first chap it was said Subaru's wrist was bandaged but not which type of wound he had. The truth about that cut will be revealed in future chapters. Oh, yes, Seishiro's albums are AWESOME. I'd like to put my hands on them as well. LOL. The eye thing is Karma having his fun bugging Seishiro and yes, Seishiro with time has learnt to be very patient with Subaru... even when he finds it annoying. There are few things that make him snap so, as of now, he's managing fairly well.
The bet's terms are basically that Subaru must keep caring for Seishiro. If Subaru stops he loses so technically the bet is still going on. However, with time, Seishiro grow fond of having Subaru care for him and began doing his share to have Subaru keep doing so. You can say he cheated in order to make Subaru win... however, Seishiro being Seishiro, the thing isn't as cute as it could seem first glance. Seishiro isn't exactly troubled by the idea of doing everything to get what he wants and with 'everything' aren't included only the nice things like taking care of Subaru when he's not well.
The difference between this Seishiro and the other is mostly in their goals which brings them to act differently. It's not that this Seishiro can't kill Hokuto, is that he has no interest in doing so because it would bring him no gain. This Seishiro is, mostly, a Seishiro who's grown happy to have Subaru's affection and wants to keep things as they are. Of course if Hokuto were to try and steal Subaru from him he wouldn't hesitate a moment in getting rid of her... though he likely would make it look like an incident so that Subaru wouldn't be mad at him. Which is also why I say he's cheating with the bet because, technically, he shouldn't sugarcoat the pill but challenge Subaru to love him regardless of what he does. Problem is if Subaru were to lose, he would find himself without a Subaru that loves him so winning the bet wouldn't be worth it.
If you were to tell Seishiro what the other Seishiro has done he would find it stupid, not because he's uncapable of doing it but because he sees no gain in it. He's a Seishiro who ended up being much happier than the other so he wouldn't want to switch places.

To Zuzanny: Although there will be up and down, now that they're trying to talk, they will slowly improve things. As for the other Subaru... the next chap will be a flashback regarding his life.

To laustic: You can say, as of now, Subaru's main fear is to lose Seishiro (and Hokuto) as he did before. He really can't forget how horrible it was to lose them.

To Equin: Yes, here Seishiro is alive and kicking... and sorry it took so long to update...

To rion: I can't reveal yet who's the mysterious phone caller, sorry...

To Cim & Black Velvet Nerd: Here there's more!

To Guest: I'm happy you like to see a nice Seishiro interacting with Subaru! It took him a lot of time to get to this point but now he's not so bad at handling Subaru, is he? ^_-
Subaru's kindness had never stopped him from reproaching someone when he did a wrong thing, be it Kuniko Nagi or the boys bugging the dog of the blind man, or telling Hokuto he couldn't comply with his wishes (TB Vol. 3, when she wanted him to stay in bed and he said he had work to do). Now, Hokuto had done something that he judged horrible, she helped in making him kill the man he loved. If they could have an argument over it and be done he would probably be much more relaxed about it and get over it. However he can't. This Hokuto hadn't done it... however she had the potential to do it and it scares him. He dreams what had happened every night and he's not talking about it but keeping everything bottled inside. He's not well to say the least. As a result, although he loves Hokuto and he's happy she's still alive, he doesn't take well her behaviour. This doesn't mean he doesn't care about her anymore, just that he's under lot of stress and he doesn't want to go through what had happened to him a second time. In the future you'll see he'll also have times in which he'll find hard to deal with Seishiro as well, even through he very obviously loves him.
About the Japanese words. When I began writing fics I had to decide if to use terms in Japanese or not. In the end I decided to use only the ones for titles, places and stuffs that are typical Japanese as I feel the English translation is often not having the exact same meaning as the original words. When I began writing though most of those terms were widely known among the fandom who also used Japanese sentences fairly often, often without adding a dictionary at the bottom. I added the dictionary because I know what it had meant for me being a newby in the fandom and having to deal with all those Japanese words although back in the past I had people telling me the dictionary was pointless. I hope this explain why I use certain Japanese terms.

To stiffknees: Seishiro didn't try to terrorize Subaru in this, but just to be himself. He views what he does as a work so, during the time, he dropped casual remarks about it the same way one would do with any normal job, which sometimes were really hard to deal with for Subaru. However Subaru too had been raised to think what Seishiro does is indeed a job done for the well being of Japan, one Subaru doesn't approve of to say the least, but not something Seishiro does out of fun or cruelty (see how Hokuto described the Sakurazukamori's role in TB Vol. 1). In addition to this little Subaru believes Seishiro got stuck with the job without a chance to back out as it happened to him and has a... very child vision on Seishiro's behaviour. Seishiro is 'odd' to him, because despite being older he hadn't learnt yet certain things and no one is teaching him them and poor, poor Seishiro is all alone with no one caring for him and so he's more tolerant and understanding than if he were older and capable to understand Seishiro could have figured up certain things were wrong on his own. Add to this Subaru feels very alone and Seishiro is, not only providing him company, but is searching his presence as if he apprecciated it. As Seishiro had fun dealing with him, with time he ended up making concessions as well, until they build up a relation that, more or less, worked as Seishiro ended up thinking that following certain rules was more rewarding than doing as he pleased (which is also why he can be patient in dealing with Subaru as of now), so it wasn't really hard for Subaru to built a strong affection for him despite everything. As for the Sakurazukamori Subaru... although he still cares for Kamui is not as kind as he was before. He left Kamui and Co without an explanation, remained watching when Karen and Aoki fight Fuma and stepped in to help Kamui only when Kamui was in a desperate situation.

To sakurazukamori-ran: I'm glad you like possessive Seishiro. The next chap is here!

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