Title: "Game Over or Continue - Chap 10 Bonus: Secret level"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA, it probably contains some OOCness and a bit of sappiness, uses Japanese words (the dictionary is at the bottom) and includes some spoilers...
Notes: Based on the idea that there can't be a Heaven on Earth but that being with your loved one helps a lot...
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" and "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...
Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensitive heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews, so please be honest but nice, okay?
Thanks: To Ruth for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
Summary: Poor, mentally unstable Subaru is convinced he's finally been killed off on Judgement Day, when he wakes up again in a hospital and discovers things went radically different from how he remembers them... And when he starts getting used to this new reality weird things start to happen that make him wonder whether it's really him who's having distorted memories or if there's something behind all this...

It was a sunny day but the weather was still rather chilly. He had gone to eat out that day. Lunch had been good and he was walking back towards his clinic without hurry since there was still time before he had to start afternoon visits. It was then he heard the timid voice he had become very familiar with in the previous years.

"Hokuto-chan, do I really have to come? They're your friends and I don't really..."

"Silliness, Subaru!" a shrill voice cut the hesitant complaint in a tone that didn't brook discussion. "Show some backbone for once and stop hiding behind your work or other silly excuses! You're in Tokyo now, not in the Sumeragi-Ke Hontaku! Who cares if they're my friends? You've got to start socializing with other teenagers, have dates, romances and so on! I won't allow you to stay at home all alone studying the papers they sent you about your next job when you can come with me and meet some interesting people you might fall in love with!"

"But Hokuto-chan..." the timid voice tried to protest and it was at that moment that two Subarus came into his view. His gaze moved automatically to the one he just _knew_ was original one, who was being dragged by what looked like his clone. Yet he knew that 'look alike'couldn't be Subaru, he knew it even if they were dressed almost the same and wore the same faces. It was just... that expression, that way of moving, that air didn't belong to Subaru. It was weird but he knew he would have recognized the original Subaru in a sea of clones without failing, he was sure of that.

"Subaru!" he called immediately as he moved toward the boy. Subaru, stilled, looked up at him and immediately smiled happily, greeting him affectionately. His clone instead studied him suspiciously before turning to Subaru requesting to know who Seishiro was in an almost rude manner.

"Hokuto-chan be nice... this is Sakurazuka Seishiro. He..." the boy trailed off, embarrassed, blushing cutely.

"I'm Subaru's friend from when he came to Tokyo the first time," Seishiro offered helpfully, amused by how easily Subaru blushed when he was involved. "And you must be the famous Hokuto-chan, Subaru's charming twin sister."

The famous Hokuto-chan laughed, apparently flattered by the compliment, and Seishiro smiled politely at her for a second before his gaze returned to Subaru, his smile automatically becoming much more heartfelt, especially when Subaru smiled back the way he only did to him.

Hokuto didn't miss the exchange. Hokuto never missed anything and especially she didn't miss how her brother was smiling at that man as if he was the best thing in Subaru's life or how Subaru, who usually was politeness personified, had called him just 'Seishiro', without honorific attached.

Neither had she missed how the man had immediately recognized Subaru despite the fact she had taken great pains in dressing them both almost the same way to surprise her friends. And then his focus was completely on her brother, ignoring her or everything else around them completely, his gaze almost possessive. No, scratch the 'almost', it was possessive, very much so, so possessive it frightened her. She didn't believe someone could look at someone else in such a way. And Subaru... Subaru who was smiling as if he saw nothing wrong with being on the receiving end of such gaze, as if he _liked_being on its receiving end... Subaru had never mentioned this man to her, had kept her in the dark about him when they were twins and there were supposed to be no secrets between them. Why? And besides Subaru was too shy to make friends on his own and in their childhood he had been even worse. How had this man managed to get so close to him?

"Well, it has been a pleasure to meet you but we're expected, aren't we, Subaru?" she asked to her brother in a firm tone as if challenging him to dare to try and discuss this.

"But Hokuto-chan..." Subaru said hesitantly to immediately trail off in defeat. She knew he would never dare to oppose to her will and she had no qualms in forcing him to do what she wanted. She was doing this only for his well-being. It really was time for him to start socializing. Obaachama had kept him out of the real world for too long, forcing him to focus only on ancient traditions, duty, jobs and spirits. Subaru needed to start having a social life, make real longlasting friendships and maybe find love. Being 'friends'with a weird man didn't count as social life and Hokuto wasn't even sure it was a good thing.

"Actually Hokuto-chan, Subaru can't come with you," said man stated in a confident tone and she turned a challenging gaze toward him. She was Subaru's older sister. His well-being rested in her hands. She had taken care of him from when they were small children. She knew what was better for him. How did this stranger dare to tell her what Subaru could or couldn't do? From the corner of her eyes she saw her brother looking from her to the man anxiously, as a man in between opposite fires would do, as if he really didn't know which side he had to support, and that seemed even stranger to her. Subaru had always supported her in discussions, except when Obaachama was involved. In that case he would listen to them both carefully before trying to mediate between them.

"What makes you say so?" she asked, her hands going on her hips, her green eyes sparkling with the fire of challenge.

"Because Subaru has an appointment with me today," the man replied in the same confident yet careless tone as if he had already won the argument, a happy grin on his face. She caught sight of Subaru's eyes widening in surprise and turned the full force of her glare on him.

"Is that true, Subaru?" she asked, knowing that her brother couldn't and wouldn't lie to her. Subaru, however, didn't reply and just looked at her nervously and Hokuto stared at him almost in shock, wondering under which sort of spell that man had her brother. She knew Subaru wasn't really enthusiastic about coming with her but still it was impossible Subaru would lie to her or that he would wilfully let another person trick her so why, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he say this man was lying, that he had made up an excuse? Why?

"Subaru, have you forgotten?" the man asked in a dismayed tone and Subaru looked at him with a mix of embarrassment and apology.

"I..." her brother attempted timidly, unable to finish the sentence and she just... stared. He simply wouldn't tell her that man was lying. Sumeragi Subaru, who couldn't lie to save his life, Sumeragi Subaru who was so honest, he would let this man get away with telling a lie! A lie he told to her!

She looked at the man with concern. A Sakurazuka. And with such a powerful hold on Subaru that he would choose to cover up for him an action he deemed wrong as lying. She didn't understand. All she could see in that man's gaze was the wish to possess her brother as if Subaru was an object for him to own. Her brother! An object to own! No, she wouldn't, she couldn't leave her innocent brother to this man.

"You can't date Subaru," she stated. "He needs to socialize with people _his own_ age." Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best excuse she could have come up with but it was reasonable enough and really, she had never thought there would come a point when she would have to say there was someone her brother couldn't 'socialize'with. Normally she was saying the exact opposite! He looked at her with an almost childishly hurt expression.

"Are you saying I'm too old?" he asked in what she could swear was fake dismay.

"Yes. And Subaru has never before mentioned knowing you and he always tells me everything," she replied honestly, almost in a warning tone, before firing a barrage of questions. "Besides why should you go out with my sixteen year old brother? What exactly do you want with with him? How old are you anyway? How did you manage to tell him apart from me? Do you know he's the Sumeragi no Toushou? What's your line of work? You're a Sakurazuka, aren't you related to the Sakurazukamori maybe? What do you..."

"Hokuto-chan, stop!" Subaru ordered her and she turned to look at him startled. The man did the same, surprise in his eyes too. Subaru had given her an order. It had been an order, not a request. Her overly shy brother who couldn't even order around the servants in his own house had given her an order. And he didn't sound pleased with her at all. "Hokuto-chan, you've got no right to ask Seishiro all these questions," her brother added and his voice was firm and yet raw, as if her questioning that man, her attempt to protect him, had hurt him instead of showing him how much she cared, how much she worried for him. "Hokuto-chan... I'll see you this evening when you return from your appointment with your friends," and, after saying so, her brother moved closer to the man, a clear hint he would go with him and not with her. It was then she knew she had lost Subaru to that man, lost him definitely, without even the chance to fight for him. Subaru had already decided between the two of them. To Subaru, this Sakurazuka Seishiro, was much more important than her, his twin sister, and she had no idea how the man had achieved such thing. She could only sense he was dangerous and she would kill him before allowing him to hurt her baby brother.

"Okay," she agreed meekly. "Have fun at your date, Subaru," she added in a forced cheerful tone. He looked at her sadly.

"I will. Hokuto-chan... I didn't mean to yell," he apologized and she felt her heart melt because he hadn't really yelled just talked to her firmly and still... he felt the need to apologize for it, he still worried such a small thing could hurt her feelings. Well, actually he had hurt her, but not because he had 'yelled'but Subaru would never figure out how. Her sweet, kind Subaru... She smiled softly at him.

"Silly, don't worry and do not make your date wait for you. I'll see you tonight!" she added in what she wanted to be her usual enthusiastic tone. Subaru didn't reply, he just looked at her before leaving with that man, that man that, after saying goodbye to her, had the impudence to put his arm around Subaru's shoulders. And Subaru, her shy brother who was so timid he wasn't even capable of hugging her back, let him without complaining or trying to escape. He just... let him as if it was a natural gesture for him.

Hokuto stared at their retreating forms, then decided that she had only two options: get this Sakurazuka Seishiro to love Subaru as much as Subaru loved him or rip Subaru from that man as soon as possible before he ruined her brother completely.

Somehow she had the feeling they were both almost impossible tasks.


"Well, it hasn't been easy but we made it," Seishiro commented, smiling to himself. "However your sister is an... interesting person," he added. Subaru didn't seem to be pleased by his observation, his gaze saddening further.

"You shouldn't have lied to her," he pointed out quietly. "She only wanted to help me and she's a really nice person."

"Are you mad at me, Subaru?" he asked then in what he wanted to be a curious tone, although there was something wrong in it. He didn't like the idea of having Subaru mad at him over such a silly thing. It was... annoying. Sort of.

"No. But I wish you hadn't lied," the boy said honestly. He laughed. Subaru and his hopeless love for honesty... it was really too cute for words.

"But, Subaru, you didn't want to go!" he reminded him. "Besides I saw no reason for you to go with her to meet boring people when you could have fun with me," he pointed out and his voice sounded slightly... annoyed. Well, it was annoying, really. There was no reason at all for Subaru to spend his time with other people beside him. Yes, the mere idea of sharing Subaru with some stupid meaningless teenagers... annoyed him, annoyed him to no end and so he had wanted to prevent that stupid plan, no matter what. He had seen Subaru first. Why should he share the boy? No, Subaru was going to be his and his only. He wouldn't allow anyone else to have him. No one.

"But... but... you must work today... you haven't got any time for me..." Subaru reminded him, his tone a bit sad. Subaru knew Seishiro's working hours perfectly well, even better than his own. It was cute he would worry about Seishiro's duties and it felt good he would be saddened by Seishiro not having time for him. Really, the boy deserved a reward for it, so Seishiro grinned at him with an expression of complicity.

"Not today. Today, I've just decided, I'll take a holiday," he announced. "And you're supposed to spend it with me," he added, tapping Subaru's nose. "Today, I've got all the time I want to spend with you." Subaru blinked, then smiled at him.

"You haven't changed at all," the boy observed fondly.

"Nope, and you'll come with me to try out the best ice cream in all Shinjuku!" he stated before dragging Subaru toward a new ice cream shop.


It was a short time later, when their ice creams were both finished and they were merely sitting next to each other on a bench that Seishiro noticed Subaru still looked upset.

"What's wrong now?" he asked curiously. "Didn't you like your ice cream? Do you want another?" Subaru sighed in that manner the boy used when he was thinking Seishiro was a hopeless cause but he didn't mind it at all.

"That's not the problem," he replied.

"Then what?" he insisted, tilting his head to study him better. Subaru lowered his gaze.

"Hokuto-chan... she's really 'charming', isn't she?" he asked in a low tone, quoting the words Seishiro had used to describe her. Seishiro tried to recall Subaru's bizarre twin sister. Stubborn, strangely similar to Subaru and yet totally different from him. She had tried to oppose to him but she had lost in the end. She had seemed sharp and strong-willed but in truth she was just a common girl, exactly like any other girl in Tokyo.

"She's... an interesting person," he said anyway, trying to be tactful. He knew Subaru never liked it when he compared people to things.

"Oh," was all he got for reply as if he had somehow said the wrong thing.

"What did I say wrong now?" he asked, rolling his eyes. Sometimes Subaru was really hard to figure out.

"Nothing just... I wish you hadn't met her," the boy said so lowly he barely heard it. "Sorry. It was a selfish wish," he apologized immediately. Seishiro laughed, although he really didn't feel amused in the slightest.

"Are you worried for her? That's cute, Subaru, but don't worry, her name isn't on my target list and, since she doesn't know who I really am, she's no problem," he assured him in a careless tone.

"That's not the point and you shouldn't talk so nonchalantly about it," Subaru stated frowning. Subaru didn't approve of his work. He didn't discuss it either but he didn't approve of it. Seishiro liked to tease him with it here and there. Subaru was the only one who totally disapproved of it and yet, despite it, was still able to care for him and Seishiro liked to be reminded of it often. Seishiro was the Sakurazukamori and yet Subaru cared for him. He liked Subaru to be reminded of it often as well. Seishiro was the Sakurazukamori and yet Subaru had to care for him. He wouldn't forgive the boy, should he stop caring for him.

"Then I don't understand," he replied in a half uncaring, half annoyed tone.

"Everyone likes Hokuto-chan. She's special," Subaru continued as if he was discussing something important. He wasn't though, since he was talking about his sister and Seishiro couldn't care less about her.

"Why do we have to talk about her, Subaru? She's a boring topic," he complained. "Can't we do something more fun on our date?"

"You... you don't like her?" Subaru asked as if that was the most astonishing thing he had ever heard.

"What's so special about her?" he asked in turn, raising his eyebrow. Subaru paused, unsure about where to start the list of Hokuto-chan's wonderful qualities, wonderful qualities Subaru completely lacked.

"Well... everyone adores her... she's..." he stammered, feeling confused. Really, he never had to explain how his sister was wonderful! People would get it first glance!

"Subaru, I don't want to talk about your sister," he stated in an annoyed tone. "Why are you obsessing so much about her? You're on a date with me. Can't you talk about me?"

"I was thinking... you would obsess about her... no... I mean... not obsess but... well, everyone else does..." Everyone else had always favoured Hokuto-chan over him. She was the bright, cheerful, friendly, enthusiastic one with all the talents and none of the clumsiness Subaru displayed. The only thing Subaru knew better than her was Onmyoudo and that was important only for the matters of the Ichimon, not for social relations.

"Subaru? Why should I be interested in her?" he asked in confusion. "She's nowhere as interesting as you," he pointed out simply. "Can we go on with our date now?" he insisted, wanting the matter closed.

"I'm... interesting?" Subaru echoed in a small voice.

"You didn't know?" Seishiro asked blinking, then grinned as a suspicion came to his mind. "Was Subaru afraid I would like his sister more than him?" Subaru blushed wildly at that and didn't reply. "I guessed it!" Seishiro exclaimed, grinning like a little kid and then laughed.

"Seishiro!" Subaru complained immediately, flushing even more.

"Silly boy, do you love me?" he asked exactly as he had done so many times starting from when Subaru had been a small child, though without giving the word 'love'any special meaning. He wrapped his arm securely wrapped around Subaru's shoulders, and held him still. Subaru seemed to blush further, if possible, then nodded. "Then, as long as you do, you'll be my favourite and no one else!" Seishiro assured him in a complicit tone, bending towards him to whisper into his ear. Subaru's blush deepened even more but he smiled happily and hugged him innocently yet tightly as he used to do when he had been younger, for once uncaring of the people around them.

Seishiro grinned down at him then suggested they go to a Game Arcade. Subaru complained about not being good at videogames but followed him anyway, smiling happily the whole time.

Back then the man still had to realize that for Subaru the word 'love'didn't mean the same thing it had meant when he had been a child.

To be continued...

JJ's Extra Notes:
Okay, so in the remote case you haven't noticed this describes something that had happened in the TB/X alternate universe. As you can see there were some differences in Seishiro and Hokuto's relationship. Hokuto was scared by how Seishiro was already that important for Subaru. In TB she had been pushing Subaru and Seishiro together all the time but she had realized only toward the end how strongly tied to Seishiro Subaru was and she had started worrying, especially because even if she had grown fond of him, she knew Seishiro was potentially dangerous. Here Seishiro jumped out of nowhere, she realized he was dangerous but Subaru was already deeply attached to him. You can't really blame her for being so worried. On the other side Seishiro thinks he doesn't need Hokuto's complicity to charm Subaru and views her as an intruder. As you saw in the previous chapters after a while the two had learnt to get along but they had maintained a certain rivalry as well. As for Subaru yes, by now he's already madly in love with Seishiro... although he's not fully aware of it. And yes, he hasn't mentioned Seishiro to his sister. He has his own reasons.
By the way, you might not be aware of it but Subaru always attaches an honorific when talking with someone. Even when talking with Yuya he called him 'Yuya-kun', which is more respectful than simply calling him 'Yuya' or 'Yuya-chan' and Sorata was 'Arisugawa-kun'. I guess his only exception is Kamui, whom he had always called simply 'Kamui'.

Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Ichimon: "Family" or "Household" or "Clan"
Obaachama: "Grandmother" or "Old Woman"
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based on the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill whomever threatens Japan
Sumeragi no TouShu: Sumeragi's Head
Sumeragi-Ke Hontaku:Sumeragi Family Main Residence


Replies to reviews:

To TheEndofTag: Well, this is something you'll discover in the future chapters but feel free to try to guess what it is!

To Zuzanny: I'm glad you do! I also hope you enjoyed this little flashback in Seishiro and Subaru's past


Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!
Send me your comments!