Chapter 4: On Your Own
Everyone had just finished dinner, and were still seated at the table. While most talked amongst each other, Joanna eyed the dirty plates around her, trying to fight the urge to get up and clean them.
"Now," Bob started. "What did everyone want to do? Should we have another session now? Or later? Maybe, uh, just, just wait until tomorrow?" he asked.
"With all do respect, I think we should just stick to the original plan and have some free time before another session tonight," Larry answered.
"I agree," Elliot declared.
"Okay, but um, may I suggest that you try to make a step towards overcoming some of those fears that were mentioned?" Bob requested.
"I'll climb a tree and get over my fear of heights," Elliot assured him as he stood up from his seat.
"As if seeing you naked on a rock wasn't enough, now we'll get to see you hanging form a tree," Kirk quipped.
"Ew," Stephanie responded from across the table.
"That's the smartest thing I've heard from her all day," Kirk stated, motioning to her.
"And that's the truth," Elliot added for him.
Stephanie, now obviously worried, turned and looked to Bob. "Dr. Hartley, the crazy person agreed with me! I don't think I like this!" she complained.
Bob blankly looked to her, still trying to figure out whether or not he could take her seriously. "I, I think you'll be fine Ms. Vanderkellan," he dryly replied.
Bob then looked over to Kirk. "How about you try admitting something true about yourself to everyone that you see out there?" he requested.
"I guess," Kirk replied, not sure that he really wanted to go through with it.
"Hey! Maybe we can split up for a little bit," Larry announced to his brothers.
Darryl looked to him and nodded, thinking that it was a good idea. It was something that had to be done sooner or later.
Darren, on the other hand, glared to him and crossed his arms. He did not want to split up at all. He felt that there was no reason to start that right now, out in the middle of the woods.
"Come on Darren," Larry begged. "It'll be a good experience for us. Besides, we ain't have to go that far from each other. We'll still be in the same camp."
Darren looked to him for a minute and then sighed in defeat as he dropped his arms to his sides.
"Good," Larry said.
"Let's meet back here when it gets dark out!" Elliot announced, trying to catch everyone before they completely lost interest.
As most people stood up and started taking their plates to the kitchen, Joanna began to relax a little. It wasn't that she was about to panic or anything, it was just that the dirty dishes annoyed her. To her, it was like someone running their finger nails down a black board.
Bob stayed in his spot while everyone else started to go off on their own. "Ms. Richardson?" he called over to her.
Joanna looked up from the dishes still left on the table. "Yes?" she responded.
"You wanted to talk to me alone?" he questioned, reminding her of his promise that he made earlier.
"Yeah," she answered, standing up and quickly grabbing the remaining dishes off the table. "Just let me at least make sure that these are all rinsed and I'll be right out," she told him.
"Okay," he said, watching her take his plate from in front of him. Really, he knew that he should have said something, but at the same time, he knew that it wasn't a good idea to just leave dirty dishes out either.
ooo
Kirk wandered on the trail that looped around the area of camp that they were staying. He knew that he would come across someone, but was dreading it. If he had to confess something, he felt like he was cheating if it was something that was trivial. There was some pressure on him to confess something big, something personal.
As he was walking, he started to hear a humming noise. He stopped and looked around, making sure that there wasn't anyone around him. He saw no one, but he still heard the humming. "Hello?" he called out, starting to get a little paranoid.
"You're disturbing the peace!" Elliot snapped.
"Oh God," Kirk mumbled, knowing very well that he shouldn't even think about looking up in the trees.
"This better be something important with all the noise that you were causing," Elliot stated.
Kirk took a deep breath. "All right," he started. "I'm Kirk Devane, and I come from Springfield Illinois," he announced. "And that's the truth."
"Congratulations," Elliot called down to him.
"Thanks Carlin, and congrats on your conquering heights," Kirk replied before he quickly started walking.
"Thank you!" Elliot replied.
Kirk then made his way further into the woods and stopped upon seeing Darren, who was examining a plant. He noted the odd, child like fascination that he had held towards the plant.
"Hey there Darren," Kirk greeted, standing beside him.
Darren stood up and smiled to him. It wasn't too often that someone would come up and just say hi to him, it was usually someone who wanted to talk to one of his brothers.
"I'm Kirk Devane and when I was seven years old, I told my cousin Linda that I would watch her dog for her while she went away to camp, and while she was gone, I forgot to close the gate to our backyard and her dog ran away, so I saved up as much money as could, but it still wasn't enough money to buy a new dog, so I got her a bunch of stuffed animal dogs. She wasn't too pleased with it, but I tried, and that's the truth," he informed him.
Darren smiled and nodded at Kirk right before throwing his arms around him and embracing him.
"Um, thanks Darren," Kirk responded, hesitantly returning the hug.
Darren pulled back and patted Kirk on the back.
"See ya Darren," Kirk said, continuing his walk. He got a few feet ahead and then realized something. His eyes widening as he turned back to see Darren back to staring at the plant. "Hey Darren! That's poison ivy, you don't wanna touch or eat it, or whatever you planning on doing with that!" he warned.
Darren stood up and then stepped back from the plant.
"Right! Just find something else to look at!" Kirk insisted.
Darren looked to Kirk and nodded and then moved on to a wild flower that was growing not too far from the poison ivy.
"Good choice!" Kirk stated and then turned back around and started walking.
ooo
Michael and Stephanie walked out along the edge of the lake. He wanted to go on the trail through the woods, but she refused.
"Are you really afraid of cheap clothing?" Michael asked as they walked together.
Stephanie laughed. "I know that I would never be caught dead in it, that counts towards fear right?" she implored.
"Yeah," Michael answered. He found it weird that someone could be afraid of a type of clothing. There was no way that she could feel the same way towards cheap clothing that he had felt towards rejection.
Stephanie glanced up to him and then looked back towards the ground. "Are you really afraid of being rejected?" she implored.
"Terrified," he said, keeping his head down to the ground. He then looked up to her. "I bet you never had to worry about it," he stated.
Stephanie laughed. "Of course not," she answered. She then smiled to him. "And don't worry, I would have rejected you right away if I was going to. I don't lie to waste time with giving people chances so I judge them rig then and there," she explained. That wasn't completely true, but she knew that it would help him a little. She did like him.
"Thank goodness," Michael sighed out in relief. He really was glad to hear that. "By the way," he started, stopping in his tracks. He looked to her, making sure that he had her attention. "Why did you come?" he inquired.
Stephanie shrugged. "I don't know," she replied. "I had nothing better to do, and this weekend I was supposed to go out and get a job, but I don't really wanna do that. I'm just hoping that maybe my parents will get fed up with the money that they are spending to send me here and decide to let me back home," she explained.
Michael scrunched his brow in confusion. "You were kicked out?" he questioned in disbelief. For some reason, he pictured her as being the one whose parents wanted her to stay home.
Stephanie sighed. "Yeah, they think their teaching me this dumb lesson or something," she answered. "Weren't you kicked out?"
Michael shook his head. "I wanted to get out and be on my own," he informed her.
Stephanie looked to him with pity. "You poor thing! You must've had a bad childhood to think that being out there on your own is fun," she said.
Michael just laughed and continued on walking. Even though he knew that he shouldn't even be trying with this girl, he liked her. He wasn't sure how much yet, and with the fear of rejection, he didn't actually know what his limits were with her. He was willing to carry her a little over a quarter of a mile and listen to her as she whined. That had to be something, but he wasn't sure yet of what that was.
ooo
Bob and Joanna sat out on the dock on the lake as the sun set before them.
"Is it silly that what I want most is someone to watch this with every day?" she asked, smiling as she watched the scene before her.
"I don't think so," Bob answered, looking over to her. "It's like wanting someone to wake up to, or have dinner with. You, you don't want to be alone."
Joanna's smile faded as she lowered her head. "That's what I've been scared of lately," she admitted. "Usually, when a date would go bad or I would get ignored by the man I wanted to go out with, I would just think that's one date that didn't work out, it doesn't matter. You still have next weekend to go out with someone new," she explained, and then looked up to Bob. "But now, I think, that's another blown chance. If something was going to happen that it would've happened by now. I should be married, I should have one or two kids."
Bob looked down to the water. "Well, why uh don't you start out by telling me the kind of man that you're looking for?" he suggested.
Joanna shrugged as she went back to watching the sunset. "When I was younger, my dad moved us out into a rural area and bought an old inn. I was like six, and the guests always thought I was cute when I would help out, there was always someone there. It was fun. I loved it, and now I want a man that wants something like that. I want someone who wants to go out and move away from the crowded city and raise a family out there," she explained.
"I think that might be your problem right there," Bob started. "You, you set these standards, a very specific mold and any guy that deviates a little from it is automatically no good. You're looking for someone who likes the rural areas in the middle of Chicago," he explained.
Joanna slightly laughed in spite of herself as she looked over to Bob. "That's what I want though. I can't imagine finding someone and truly being happy with them if they keep me stuck here. I'm not asking to move right away, but maybe when we're a bit older, when we know that we can afford it and handle it," she told him.
"Have you ever considered moving out there and then finding a man that you like?" he implored.
Joanna looked down to her lap. "I can't right now. I have a job here that I need, and I ended up moving my mother here after daddy died. I'm needed here at the moment," she explained.
"Do you by any chance think that maybe you don't wanna change your life?" he inquired.
Joanna looked to him, her eyes slightly widened. She was about to say something, but jumped as she heard a splash not too far from where she sat.
"Michael!" Stephanie shrieked.
"I'm sorry Stephanie!" Michael apologized.
Joanna and Bob both got up and saw Stephanie propped up on one elbow in the shallow water right of the edge of the shore, while she pulled weeds and what not out of her hair.
Michael quickly offered his hand and helped her to her feet. "I'm so sorry!" he tried again, hoping that she might be able to let it go.
Stephanie just huffed. "Just get me back to the cabin!" she demanded.
Joanna stormed down the dock and made her way over to where the two were standing, less than a few yards away. "Were you two listening in on us?" she nearly shrieked.
Bob came up behind Joanna. "Are you all right?" he implored, wondering about the screaming he was hearing. He knew why Joanna was mad, but wanted to make sure that everyone was indeed, okay, before all the yelling started.
"She's fine!" Joanna snapped, keeping eyes narrowed on the two.
"It's not what you think," Michael stated. "We were walking by and we didn't want to disturb you so we sat down over here," he explained.
Stephanie stood there and crossed her arms. "As stupid as it sounds, it's true," she confirmed, although she lacked the genuine concern that Michael had when he explained it.
Joanna sighed. "Yeah, I guess it's not like you to even bothering caring about what's going on with other's," she said directly to Stephanie and then turned and started towards the cabins.
"Geeze, what's her problem?" Stephanie asked.
"She was trying to talk to me alone! She, she feels that her personal privacy was invaded!" Bob explained to her. He then looked back and forth between the two. "I want to talk to you two later," he stated and then went to catch up to Joanna. At the moment, he felt as if he were in charge of a group of kids up here.
Michael stared off towards Joanna with sympathy. He truly was sorry for what had happened just now.
"Michael!" Stephanie squealed. "Do you seriously feel bad about this?"
Michael looked to her and nodded. "Yes! I do! I know that we weren't actually spying on them, but I know that I would be upset if someone was listening in on a private conversation between me and someone else," he explained.
"We did nothing wrong though!" Stephanie argued. "Besides, I'm the one who fell in the water! I have nothing to wear now. I only had enough outfits for each day and I can't just go in there and completely destroy my perfectly planned out schedule for clothing," she explained. "I mean, it's not like I can re-wear something, that would be disgusting."
Michael just sighed. "I'm sorry about that," he said. "Maybe we can find something for you to wear around here that isn't too cheap," he suggested.
"Right, like there's even a store around here," she scoffed. "Let's just get back to the cabin so I can shower before we have to meet back together tonight," she said, grabbing his hand and starting to lead him.