Chapter 8: The Lucky Ones
Joanna cautiously opened the door to the cabin. She saw Stephanie sitting on the edge of her bed, staring down towards the ground.
As soon as Stephanie realized she wasn't alone, she quickly wiped the tears from her face and looked up to her, trying to maintain some sort of composure. "What is it?" she asked.
Joanna stepped in and closed the door behind her. "I wanted to apologize for what I said," she began. She was about to go on and explain to her that she was just upset, but it just did not appear to be necessary anymore.
Stephanie nodded and looked back towards the ground. "Right," she absently responded.
Joanna nodded as she watched her for a brief moment. She had come too soon and all there was to do now was leave and try again another time. "I see," she softly replied as she turned to leave.
The words of false understanding hit her. "I don't think you do!" Stephanie angrily snapped, quickly turning to look to her.
Joanna slightly jumped back, but remained standing there for a second before turning back and waiting for her to continue. Although Stephanie sounded mad, her eyes conveyed more of helplessness.
"I have no idea where my eight year old daughter is or how she's doing! She just turned eight last month and I missed her birthday! All because her father is mad at me and I decided to pick her up from school five minutes late! Five minutes Joanna! She has friends Natalie and Gabi that she liked to talk to and told me that she would like it if I could give her a few minutes!" Stephanie explained, fighting back tears.
Afraid to actually say anything yet, Joanna looked to her with pity as she hesitantly approached her.
Stephanie sighed as she looked down to her lap. "Carl didn't even know how to take care of the damn dog let alone a little girl," she remarked. "And now she's paying because I walked out on him."
"Why did you leave?" Joanna carefully implored, bracing herself to be yelled at.
"I left him right after Renee's ballet recital. She was six years old and wanted more than anything for her daddy to be there and after so many, many strikes, he didn't show up," she bitterly explained.
"I'm sorry," Joanna replied, remaining stoic.
"Yeah?" Stephanie softly laughed in spite of everything. "What are you gonna do about it?" she questioned, looking up to her.
There was no answer to that. "I don't know," she quietly admitted.
"I don't either," Stephanie hoarsely stated.
ooo
Michael paced the floor in front of the couch. He was worried, worried about Stephanie and everything that had just happened here.
As Larry, Darryl, and Darren sat at the table watching him, Darren leaned over and poked Larry on the shoulder.
"What is it Darren?" Larry asked, turning back to him. He sat there and looked to him for a minute. He then took a second and glanced to Michael and back to Darren. "No, I don't think he's trying to wear down the floor."
"I think he is," Elliot responded. He sat on the couch, his head going back and forth following Michael.
"I think you need to calm down," Kirk stated from his spot by the window.
"I'm sorry! I can't!" Michael replied. He had too much on his mind right now. He wanted to go and follow Joanna to the cabin, but he couldn't. He was afraid.
"You know that you're just walking back and forth right?" Elliot questioned.
"I know," Michael sighed.
"If I were you, I'd be running away. You don't know what kind of man she might still be with," Elliot said.
"Look you guys, I understand curiosity, but I really think that we should refrain from talking about Ms. Vanderkellan while she is out of the room," Bob informed them. He had been standing near the door, waiting for Joanna to come back and tell him how everything is going.
"Hey, I understand that," Kirk agreed.
"What if she was so emotional because she's already pregnant again with her football playing husband?" Elliot flatly inquired, causing Michael to stop dead in his tracks.
"Darryl says that that was a bit uncalled for," Larry announced.
Elliot looked over to the trio. "Yeah? Well Kirk says that you should stop putting words in people's mouths," he replied.
"Mr. Carlin, you're about to my first ever patient that I've had to put in a time out," Bob warned.
"Joanna and little miss beauty queen get in a fight and tear each other down in front of everyone and I'm the one you wanna put in a time out?" Elliot questioned. "Darryl says that you need to get your priorities straight," he flatly told him.
Bob looked over to Darryl and saw him nodding in agreement. "Fine," he breathed out, not really caring what they were talking about anymore.
"I'm just wondering why everyone wants Stephanie to be married," Michael announced, although, there was a lot more on his mind.
"Liar!" Kirk accused. He then smiled and looked around the room to everyone. "Damn does that feel good to be able to call someone else one rather than beige called one."
"What do you mean?" Michael implored.
"He means that you're probably afraid of many things right now, like whether or not it's all true and why she didn't tell you any of this stuff," Larry explained.
"Take it from me, ignorance is bliss," Kirk mentioned, trying to help Michael feel a little better.
"Of course, because that's the only time that you're not lying," Elliot responded. He then looked to Michael. "Maybe she didn't tell you because she likes you too much," he stated.
Michael looked to him with surprise. First off, because he had said something to help him out here, and second, because that was something he hadn't thought about yet.
ooo
"Are you really that scared to go back there?" Joanna implored. She sat on her bed, her back up against the wall, slouching just enough so that her head wouldn't hit the top bunk.
"I'm not scared," Stephanie responded. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she held the picture of her daughter, staring at it. There was a longing in her eyes as she thought back to the way that things used to be, with her little Rini with her.
"Hmm."
Stephanie looked up to Joanna and smirked. "What do you think Michael's doing right now?" she implored, trying to change the subject and get her thoughts focused on something else.
Joanna laughed. "He was freaking out when I left," she answered.
Stephanie nodded, smiling to herself. Her smile faded quickly though. "I guess I owe you, like. Well, like an uh," she stopped for a second. "You know for what I said."
Joanna held her hand up to stop her. "I get it, and it's fine," she told her. The more that she thought about it, she found it a little cute, she was jealous over the comment that Michael made to her, meaning she liked Michael. There was that, and then there was something else that she got out of it, Stephanie Vanderkellan was jealous of her for a moment. That, could bring a small smile to her at anytime.
"Oh good, I didn't want to have to actually finish that," she sighed in relief.
"So, why don't you wanna go back?" Joanna questioned.
Stephanie shrugged. "I don't want them asking questions about Carl and Rini," she confessed. "The more I talk about them, the more I think about them, and when that happens I get depressed and stressed out and it doesn't even matter because I can't do anything more," she explained.
"You can just tell them that you don't want to talk about it," Joanna offered. "I mean, I know it seems like all we do is pick on each other at times, but that group of people over there, you can trust them."
"Right," Stephanie replied.
Joanna sat forward on the edge of her bed. "Really, think about it. You have Elliot who has no friends, therefore no one to tell. Kirk lies all the time, so no one would believe him anyways if he did repeat what we said. Michael would never purposely do anything to upset any of us. Larry is too busy with his brothers, and his brothers don't talk," she explained. She could see it in Stephanie's eyes that she was starting to convince her. "And besides, no one there actually has any room to judge anyone else," she added.
Stephanie sighed as she grabbed her picture. "Let's go," she said in defeat.
"Good," Joanna replied, standing up and waiting for Stephanie.
Stephanie took one last glance at the picture in her hand before she got up and slowly started for the door.
They walked together over to the rec room and entered the now quiet room.
"All right every one, I'm back," Stephanie nonchalantly announced as she went and sat back down in her seat.
"How did everything go?" Bob asked as Joanna stopped to close the door.
"We're fine," she answered with a smile. She then looked to Bob for a second. "You know, we never actually got to finish that talk that we had started yesterday, you mind if we pick up on it after this?" she requested.
"Sure," Bob answered.
"Thanks," she replied and then went and sat down with the group.
"Son or daughter?" Larry instantly implored as soon as Stephanie was settled.
"Daughter, her name's Renee, I call her Rini though sometimes," she answered. "I brought a picture of her."
"Can I see it?" Michael nervously requested.
"Here," Stephanie said as she handed it over to him.
Michael took the picture and stared down to it, examining it. "Wow Steph, looks like a little mini you," he stated. He was truly fascinated with the picture. It was a new part of this woman's life that he hadn't heard anything about yet.
Stephanie smiled. "I know," she beamed.
"Question," Kirk started as he raised his hand. "What happened to Renee?"
Stephanie looked over to him and sighed. That was the question that she was dreading. "Her asshole father took her," she bluntly explained. "My ex-husband, Carl, he didn't like me very much and he hated the fact that I got what I wanted out of the settlement, so he thought he would show me by taking Renee."
"Carl by any chance a football player?" Elliot questioned.
Stephanie looked to him with confusion as Michael looked up from the picture and glared to him. "No, he was a stock broker," she answered.
Elliot just nodded. "So, he can't beat people up, but he can take all their money," he said more to himself.
Stephanie smirked. "I beat him when it came to that game," she informed him.
"I once cheated a stock broker out of money," Kirk informed her.
All Elliot had to do this time was look over to him.
"I know, I know. I lied," Kirk said.
"Good," Elliot replied.
Michael handed the picture back to Stephanie. Once it was back in her hands, she smiled down to it, as she thought about her.
"What caused you two to separate?" Bob implored. Seemed to him like such a bitter divorce, there had to be more to it.
Stephanie turned to him. "Well, we were married for a year and I told him that he was spending too much time at work and he said it was necessary. Then I got pregnant, wasn't sure I was ready for a baby and he didn't care, and then I got excited about the baby, and he still didn't care. When Renee was born, he wasn't even there at the hospital. From that day on, he started spending more and more time away from home," she explained.
"Why did you two stay together so long?" Joanna questioned. If that were her situation, she would have left him pretty quickly.
The real answer was fear. She knew that he was mad at her and would do a lot to get back at her, and leaving him would make him even more upset. She had never loved out on her own, she didn't have a job, couldn't afford to take care of Renee on her own. Carl wasn't abusing her or hurting Renee so, it wasn't too bad, even thought they would get into fights, and he would do a lot of little things just to irritate her on a daily basis, when he was home.
"I didn't have a job, I didn't have a place to live and Carl wasn't really home too often, so it kind of was like we left him," she explained. "It wasn't until he started hurting Renee by breaking all the promises he made to her all the time that I decided to leave. We stayed with my parents for a little over a year before he took her. After that, my parents decided that I needed to move on and kicked me out to live on my own, so now I'm here in Chicago with my cousin Leslie," she informed them.
"How long has Renee been missing?" Bob implored.
"Six months," Stephanie replied without even having to think about it.
"Darren here was kidnapped once," Larry announced. "When he was little, he went down to the creek by himself and then couldn't find his way home. He thought he did, but ended up walking into the wrong house and the people decided to keep him."
"How long was he gone?" Kirk asked.
Larry looked back to his brothers and shrugged. He then turned back to everyone else. "We think about two weeks," he responded.
"I couldn't even imagine being kidnapped," Michael said.
Elliot looked over to him. "Please, you couldn't be kidnapped. You'd just agree to go with them just to avoid having someone mad at you," he remarked.
"I might as well have, it's not like my parents cared," Michael responded.
"Now Mr. Harris, I know that you're parents were awful critical of you as a child, but I really do think that they would care if you didn't come home," Bob insisted.
"No they wouldn't," he argued. "I was the screw up of the family. My brother was perfect and I could't live up to his standards so they criticized me while they praised him. As long as Donnie was there, they were happy," he explained.
Michael sat back and sighed. "Donnie got everything. He got the room over the garage, the nice car, he even got my first two girlfriends after he stole them from me," he stated.
"I didn't need anyone to take my girlfriends from me, just someone around to tell them the truth after I lied," Kirk remarked.
"I think this is my favorite group," Elliot informed everyone.
"And why, why is that Mr. Carlin?" Bob inquired, not knowing yet whether he really wanted to hear his reply.
"These sucky life stories are making me feel a little better about mine," he answered.
The others in the room turned and slightly glared to Elliot. "What? Honesty is being punished now?" he implored.
Shadows settle on the place, that you left
Our minds are troubles by the emptiness
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time
From the perfect start to the finish line
And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
We are the reckless
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there
And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky one
Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone
We're setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home
It was a flood that wrecked our home
And you caused it
Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget
My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one
Cause most of us are bitter over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Distracting our hearts from ever missing them
~ Youth by Daughter