Big thank you once again for your continued lovely reviews! They brighten my day, and I really mean it! :) here's chapter 4.
Shonda still hasn't contacted me so I own nothing.. But I can dream. ;)
"Never again."
The three of them crowded round the coffee machine, each relying on a different piece of apparatus to stop their lead-filled bodies from keeling over. Addison a desk, Erica the machine itself, and Callie – in the worst condition out of all of them – a stolen chair, her upper body resting on her legs, head hanging in between them. Her arms dangled over her sides off the chair, one clutching the steaming mug that was her saviour, swinging it gently from side to side while she waited for her head to stop swimming.
"I think I might be dying." She groaned.
Erica raised a sluggish arm to check her watch.
"You'd better make it quick then so I can revive you in time for the staff meeting."
The rumbling from the back of Addison's throat voiced their shared feelings about the prospect of attending said meeting.
As if on cue, general attending Miranda Bailey strode round the corner, fumbling in her pocket for change. Upon seeing the delicate trio, she stopped in her tracks to scrutinize them. Placing her hands on her hips, she sucked in her cheeks and pouted, her steely gaze directed mainly at Callie, who was still in the worst shape.
When none of them responded, she blew out air sharply through her nostrils, and declared – a little too loudly,
"Staff meeting, 15 minutes. You will be there. That means you Torres." She began to march off, and taking one last disapproving look back at the weary bunch added "and somebody better bring me a caramel latté. 15 minutes!"
Addison's head fell onto the desk as she contemplated the short time span they had to recover. "We are bad women." She whined, wrapping her arms around her head. "We are bad, bad women."
Callie's head hurt too much to come up with a witty response, and Erica opted not to answer either, sliding her back slowly down the coffee machine until she was sitting, she closed her eyes and rested her head against it.
Only moments later however their zombified slumbers were disturbed again, as April Kepner skipped girlishy round the corner, arms filled with "important chief resident" paperwork. Catching sight of them she beamed, and her high pitched overly enthusiastic voice pierced the silence, bringing their heads a fresh and undiscovered source of pain.
"Good morning doctors!"
"Oh fuck no." Erica exclaimed as she recognised the voice. Addison snorted, still concealed by her arms.
"I'm so glad I found you all together! It's vital I talk to all the attendings today! and having you here just makes organising it that little bit easier! Now, as chief resident, I feel it necessary -"
Three pairs of bloodshot eyes simultaneously turned to glower at her, and upon seeing this, coupled with their deadened, unmoving expressions, she halted and quickly backtracked, feeling somewhat like a deer in a fox den.
"- I err.. Feel it necessary that.. That... That I leave!" She giggled nervously and shuffled sideways. "We can um, we can talk later! … Sleep well!" She hurriedly walked away.
They returned to their original states for a while, until Addison sighed audibly, and slowly rose to her feet. "We better go." She took a few dizzy steps towards them, holding out her hands to each. They took a moment to compose themselves, before accepting, and she pulled them both up.
They proceeded to make their way to the meeting, in-between heavy grumbling and shying away from the harsh glare of the ceiling lights.
The atmosphere surrounding those that had already arrived in the office was far more lively in contrast, buzzing with laughter and gossip, as it always did whilst they awaited the chief.
Bailey was chattering excitedly to Owen about a particular patient of hers that she had known for years - set to be discharged with the all-clear that day. Derek was still laughing from some girl-related joke Mark had just told him, and Arizona sat opposite them, assessing this man, this 'McDreamy' with the perfect hair.
She got the McDreamy part, that much was obvious. And as far as first impressions go she deemed him pleasant enough. He was superficially charming, friendly and relatively likeable, and anyone could see he did have a genuine kindness reflected in his eyes. She could see why he would be considered a good catch to most women.
"Sizing up the competition?" Teddy's folder landed with a thump on the desk, as she pulled up a chair.
"Hey you." Arizona decided to sidestep the comment. "You're not with the others?"
Teddy frowned slightly as she quickly scanned the room.
"No.. I thought they'd be with you or something?" She quickly lowered her voice and leaned closer to her friend. "Hey how was Addie last night? You err.. You get her home okay?"
Arizona understood the translation to 'Hey you didn't jump on her did you?' and sighed, running a hand through her blonde hair.
"She was fine.. And no nothing happened." She added, reading Teddy's mind.
She glanced back over at Derek to check he was still engaged in conversation.
"I just... I like her Teddy. I really like her, and I know I've not known her long at all, but we talked last night, talked for the entire night you know? and she's just.. She's amazing. I know what you're going to say and don't worry, she's straight, I get it. But I just needed to tell someone."
She looked down at her hands. She desperately wanted to tell Teddy about Addison's request in the trailer, but that would mean she would have to explain Addison's reasons and thought processes behind it – revealing just how deeply insecure and hurt Addison really was. Something she had entrusted Arizona with enough to tell her, and whether this was solely down to drink, or she really had trusted her, Arizona was not about to break that trust either way.
Teddy opened her mouth to respond, but then quickly shut it again as she caught sight of the door. Arizona followed her path of vision and saw the woman in question coming through it, looking, well.. Looking surprisingly good for someone who practically drank the bar dry the night before. Still, it was evident she hadn't recovered. The door swung open again and she was followed closely by an equally disgruntled Callie, and Erica, who looked like she wanted to murder someone.
"Ladies!" Sloan called out, an sly smile playing across his handsome features. "Good time last night?" His suggestive expression quickly turned to one of pain as his ribs were met by the receiving end of Callie's elbow as she sat down next to him.
Erica took her place in cardio on the other side of Teddy, and Addison crossed the room and perched next to Derek. She appeared to think to herself for a while before quietly murmuring
"Hello." In his direction. Arizona watched as he grunted "Hi." back, and propped his elbow on the desk, resting his chin in his hand. Arizona got the funny feeling it was almost as if he was subconsciously blocking her with his arm.
"And this is supposed to be marriage?" She whispered to Teddy, who grimaced in agreement.
Just then, the chief arrived. "Good morning people! Now that we're all here and accounted for, let's get down to business!" He was quickly seated at the head of the table, keen to get cracking.
"Okay, now as you all should be aware it's that time of year when our residents start feeling comfortable again. They're slacking and becoming lazy and uninspired. They need firing up again, but, it seems so do all of you." He looked at each of them in turn. "I know you're the big shots, top of your game, world class surgeons, but let me tell you this – there's always something to learn. Even from the residents."
Erica snorted. He pretended not to notice.
"So! As of today, you each will be paired with a single resident for one month. You will teach them everything you can, and I mean everything." His gaze lingered on Erica for a brief moment. "At the end of the month, the resident that has grown, matured and developed the most in terms of surgical skill, will win the contest. Resulting in a shiny little prize for the said winner, and their attending." He raised his eyebrows and looked around at them seriously. "And trust me, it's a prize you'll want."
His words had effect, as he now had their undivided attention, a mixture of curiosity and competitiveness etched on each of their faces.
"So." He pulled out a list from his folder, and placed on his glasses. Clearing his throat, he began.
"Sloan, you'll have Avery."
"Yes!" Mark raised a fist in the air. "Got it in the bag."
"Hunt, you've got Kepner."
Owen smiled politely and nodded, apparently pleased.
"Shepherd, Grey, M." Arizona's eyes shot up to Addison, scrutinizing her for a reaction. She remained still and said nothing, though her jaw was clenched tight. Derek also said nothing, though the atmosphere in the room shifted slightly, and everyone felt it.
The Chief went on.
"Altman, Yang, Bailey, Stevens, Torres, Grey, L. And you two-" He pointed at Addison and Arizona. "Are doing something different. Robbins, you'll oversee Karev, but since you're not all that familiar yet with his general status, and so recognising change or development for him personally might prove difficult. Fortunately Montgomery does know him well, and since she'll be working with you anyway over the next few months, I want reports from both of you on his progress, however, to make it fair – Dr Montgomery will not be able to teach him anything herself, it must all come from you. She can only assess. Understood?" She nodded and looked over at Addison, who gave her a brief smile.
"Okay, everyone happy?" He addressed the room, they all nodded eagerly, except for Erica. "Uh, Chief, I don't have a resident."
"Well we could've given you Yang, but as you and I both know, that didn't go too well last time, so you can do a similar thing to Robbins and Montgomery, and just keep working under Altman."
The last part, as it always did, rattled her. He had only re-hired her under the condition that she shared cardio with Teddy, though she was to have less authority, with Teddy having the final say on any situation. She didn't like it, and her pride put a strain their friendship a lot at times.
She opened her mouth to respond furiously, but closed it again after Callie shot her a warning look. She folded her arms and sat back, stewing in indignation.
"Okay then!" The Chief clapped. " Let's get going, there are lives to be saved, competitions to be one! Get out there and make yourselves proud people!" He dismissed them.
Arizona made her way over to Addison as they crowded round the door, she'd been desperate to speak to her all morning.
"Hey." she said tentatively as she approached. Unsure of how Addison would react after the previous night's speech. Fortunately though, her expression lit up when she saw the blonde, and she hung back to talk to her as Callie and Erica disappeared through the door.
"How're you feeling? Bit tender?" She pointed to Addison's head, admiring her beautifully radiant hair colour as she did.
Addison pulled a face "like you wouldn't believe!" They laughed. "Thanks for walking me home by the way, I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much! I'll be damned if I can remember much of the night, but I hope I didn't freak you out or anything!" She rubbed her tired eyes as she finished, and Arizona's smiled faltered slightly.
She doesn't remember
"Oh no no, it was no bother honestly! And you were fine, you seemed like you were having fun." She quickly reverted back to joking around, hoping Addison wouldn't catch her slight hesitation.
The redhead looked back up at her with a tired smile, a lock of hair falling on her face, and before she could stop herself, Arizona's hand instinctively reached up to brush it away, her thumb grazing against Addison's cheekbone as she did. She heard the other woman inhale sharply at her touch, and their eyes met.
Arizona slowly withdrew her hand, and Addison gulped and looked away, busying herself with her clothes, flattening out imaginary creases before shoving her hands in her pockets. Still looking at the floor she spoke. "Oh damn, I forgot I've left my err, my X-rays with Callie this morning.." She fumbled and Arizona frowned.
"Oh no.. We're... Gunna need those for the case." She played along uncertainly.
"Right!" Addison's smile was too wide. "I'll just go get them, no problem!" She hastily opened the door, before flashing Arizona that strange smile again. "Back in a mo!" And she was off. Arizona's frown deepened. She was puzzled and a little hurt. Surely Addison couldn't have freaked out at her touch?
Oh God, maybe she knows.
Arizona's eyes widened at her sudden internal panic.
Maybe she knows and I've creeped her out. Oh god, oh no.
She mentally tried to calm herself down, Addison couldn't possibly know unless Teddy told her, and she knew Teddy would never betray her like that. Nonetheless, she was glad Karev was going to be there, because she had high predictions of a very awkward days work.
"Callie!" Addison just caught her before she disappeared round another corner, having said goodbye to Erica and making her way to the OR. She stopped and turned round, and immediately knew Addison was worried, it was written all over her face. Sensing this was going to involve a heavy chat, she checked her watch. She was early, and could spare some time. Head still pounding slightly, she stood ready as Addison caught up to her.
"What's up?"
"I need to talk to you, I don't know what to do."
Callie immediately took her arm and led her to a nearby on-call room. She looked around to make sure no one saw them going in – she didn't want anymore ridiculous rumours – before pulling Addison in and shutting the door. Turning round to face her distressed best friend, she checked her watch again.
"Okay, I've got exactly seven minutes before I need to be in there. Shoot."
"I asked Arizona to kiss me last night."
Callie's eyes widened, all thoughts of being late to the OR promptly vanished.
"Wait, what? Arizona?... A girl? Girl Arizona.. Our girl Arizona.. Arizona the girl Arizona?.." she babbled incredulously.
Addison nodded.
"... And?"
"She didn't, she was very respectful.. But that's not the point! The point is I wanted her too Cal! I asked! I've never even thought about women that way before, not like that! And I thought when I woke up this morning that it'd be fine, I was drunk, and missing Derek, whatever. But then I spoke to her a minute ago, I told her I didn't remember anything. And she was happy to go along, but then she brushed this bit of hair out my face, and I got that same feeling!"
Callie's face became more and more surprised throughout, and at this point her eyebrows risked going into her hairline. Addison went on.
"It was nothing! It was a bit of hair for gods sake! An innocent gesture! But I reacted like a ten year old boy who's just been asked to prom, and I bailed."
"Ouch!" Callie grimaced, it was the first time her expression had changed and her face ached.
"I know, and now I've freaked her out when she's been nothing but lovely to me – she looked after me Callie, like, really cared about me last night.. No one's made me feel like that in a long time. I felt valued." She sat down on the bed with a frustrated sigh, putting her head in her hands.
"What does this mean Callie? I need you to help me."
Callie moved to sit beside her, putting her arm round Addison's shoulders, she thought for a moment.
"I guess it all depends on how you feel. You wanted to kiss her last night, you were drunk. Fair enough. You wanted to kiss her earlier, but she touched you in a..." Callie searched for the right words. "sort of intimate way I guess – unbeknown to her – but whatever, the point is, think about it now. Think about her. If she came in here right now.. Wait no, not the on-call room, this place exists for sex.."
"Not helping."
"Sorry, right, okay.. Yeah say the cafeteria, orrrrr, your office, orrr"
"Callie."
"Crap! Okay whatever, pick a location. If you saw her again right now, she didn't touch you, you weren't drunk, it was all good. Would you still want to kiss her?"
Addison thought hard, picturing the scenario in her head step by step, picking apart every possible detail that might influence her. But she already knew the answer, the influence wasn't the alcohol, or a hand brush, it was Arizona herself. Beautiful, genuine, wonderful Arizona, and if Addison pretended anything otherwise, she was lying to herself.
"I would." She answered, tears dripped onto her hands and Callie pulled her into a big hug.
"But I can't Callie. I'm with Derek. I can't."
"I know." She replied, gently stroking her friends head as she remained hunched, tears flowing freely down her face. "I know."
She was at a total loss of what to do.
I had a different plan for this chapter but as I was halfway through writing it I realised it was shit and so took a different turn for the whole thing – so not much planning went into it, hope it was still okay though! Let me know!
Ta! :)