AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to popular demand, the sixth chapter is up. I would like to thank my reviewers (Hannah, Princess Sophie Potter, Broadwaybabe) and my readers. You guys are like the feel that keeps me going )
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The rest of that dreadful day, the troops took care of burying the soldiers who had willingly given their lives for they country, as an addition to tending and carrying those who had been wounded. Li Shang remained on his knees beside the man who had saved his life. It had not been the first time a man had died for him; however, the young general could still feel the same unbearable guilt he had felt long ago. Before this day, Shang did not know the name of this great man, nor did he wonder how his personal life was, or if he had children and a wife who longed for his return. Shang buried a hole with his own sword. Slowly he placed the corpse of his savior on its final resting place and noticed the man's neck had a golden chain with a tiger charm. Shang pulled the chain until it broke. He examined the charm carefully and as he turned it over he read two characters engraved on it : Tian Chuang (Skylight). Was it the soldier's name? Or, had it belonged to the man's lover, daughter, or best friend? Shang decided he would keep the necklace, with the purpose of delivering to the soldier's relatives. Li Shang covered the hole as he silently sent a prayer to the gods. When he finished, he used his sword to trace upon the land the characters that stood for savior. The General got back on his feet and whispered, "Thank you, honorable warrior." War was crude and unfair. Moments like this made it hard to perceive the sense of honor and glory in the battlefield. ." He turned around, his gaze seeking for his beloved Mulan.
Shang spotted her, helping a wounded man walk. He stared at her from a distance, such a kind-hearted warrior she was, loyal, and brave. He felt like the biggest idiot for yelling at her, when she did not deserve it. The young General approached her. When he reached her, she shot him one of the coldest looks she had ever given him. Shang offered her help, but she refused. He apologized and offered her help again, and she said no.
Li Shang admitted she had all the right to be upset with him, but he had to let her know that what he had done had a reason. Resigned, Shang turned around to help the other wounded soldiers. More than once, his eyes followed Mulan and he noticed she clutched the arm he had violently gripped.
Night fell. The General's instructions had been to spend the night at the nearest village in order to recover strength. They still had a long way to go, they still had to make sure the border was secure, and there was no track of the enemy left.
The soldiers found a place at the villages local lodge. Shang had a terrible headache from the pressure of the battle and sleepless nights. He decided that as soon as he got cleaned up, he would meet Mulan and beg for her forgiveness. No matter what it took, she was worth it.
Li Shang ordered a tub and some wine to his room. Moments later, a lady arrived to his room and gave him what he had ordered. Shang waited for her to leave, and locked the door behind him. He sighed as he took off his armor and noticed his robes and trousers were stained with blood. Shang undid his sash, and the tiger charm landed on the wooden floor. He stripped from his garments and dove into the water. It felt pleasant, although his mind was troubled by thoughts of the men he had seen fall that day, and the way he had treated Mulan. His head was pounding. He reached for the bottle of rice wine and poured some on his wounds to disinfect them. Shang groaned as he felt the stinging sensation on his bare skin. And then he saw her beautiful eyes staring coldly back at him, followed by the man he had beheaded, and the man whose chain he carried. His head was pounding even harder. The blood and dirt were washed away, but the guilt and strain had not yet subsided. Indeed water cleansed his body, but what he needed was to cleanse his soul. Shang opened his eyes and gazed at the bottle of wine, maybe it could make his pain go away for a while.
Dripping water, Shang climbed out of the tub and lied on the bed clutching the bottle in his hand. He raised the bottle, and quickly swallowed the bitter liquid. He did not stop until there was not a single drop in the bottle. Shang covered himself with the silk sheets on the bed, and dozed off to sleep. Mulan would understand he needed to rest, and they could always talk the next day. . .
Shang tripped and gasped for some air. He had been chasing after Mulan for a while and he could not reach her. She was swift for a tiny lady with short legs. What was the point of running anyway?
All of a sudden, he heard a piercing scream from a distance. Shang stood up, calling out Mulan's name, but he got no answer. He yelled louder, and still there was no response. It was not funny anymore, and it had become ridiculous. Truth be told, she would win the argument, but she had to listen first. Shang ceased calling out for her, but he continued running. The ground was no longer green, it had turned out red, and every step he took blood splashed beneath him. Higher than he had ever screamed his mouth uttered Mulan's name. Once again he fell down, but this time he was soaked in the red blood. There it was the tiny slippers Mulan wore. Not far from them, he saw her on the ground covered in blood. It could not be. She was completely lifeless before his eyes, and he could not understand the cause of her death. He kneeled next to her and clutched her lifeless body against himself. Tears poured out of his eyes, and he begged the gods to bring her back to life. She could not be gone when there was so much ahead for them to live, she could not be dead and not know how sorry he felt for the way he had treated her in the battlefield. He cried and yelled angrily. Without Mulan, there was nothing to live for.
A distant voice commanded him to let her go. Naturally, Shang refused. The voice blamed him for her death, but Shang could not understand the reason. The voice reminded him all the harm he had done to her ever since the first day she had gone to Wu Zhong and he had humiliated her in front of all the present soldiers. Shang shook his head, he would never hurt her on purpose. He claimed he loved her, but the voice said it was all a lie. Shang shook his head. The voice said, "If you ever loved her you should have let her go before hurting her more." Suddenly, Mulan's father appeared in front of him and snatched his daughter's body away from him. Shang apologized but he did not listen. The elder man blamed him and called him a traitor. "How could I ever let you go near her?"
Shang covered his ears. The man was wrong. He never meant to hurt her, every single offense against Mulan had been a mere misunderstanding. "Mulan!! I love you! I'm sorry!" the young general yelled at the top of his lungs as he pulled his hair in anger. He cried helplessly and sank in the blood.
The sun rays peeked through the window. Slowly Shang opened his left eye, but the light was too strong. He rubbed his eyes, and saw a petite shadow standing next to the window, giving its back to him. She was alive. Shang sighed in relief. It all had been a nightmare. He contemplated her back for a while, his eyes crawling from her feet to her straight black hair falling on her shoulders. She was wearing her father's training robes, but his eyes could certainly trace the curves only women can show. A smile spread across his features, but then it vanished as she turned around to face him with a concerned look upon her face. Was she still angry at him? Mulan turned her gaze away from him and picked up a pile of clothes and dropped them on his bed. They were his robes and trousers . . . he had forgotten he had fallen asleep completely naked. He wondered if they actually consummated their marriage, but if it had been the case, he would certainly remember . . . unless he had consumed too much alcohol to remember. Then he solved the puzzle. It could not have been, for Mulan had snapped at him, because he had sent her home, and for the look on her face she was still angry at him. Actually, she was even more upset at him.
"What the hell is going on with you?" she had finally decided to speak up.
"Huh?" was all his confusion allowed him to utter, "I'll get dressed."
Mulan shook her head as she bit her lower lip.
"Mulan, are you ok?"
Her eyes narrowed at the question, and her right fist clenched. "How dare you ask me?"
A tear rolled down her cheek.
Shang wrapped the blanket around his waist and reached out for her, but she backed away and threw the golden necklace Shang had taken from the dead soldier on the floor.
Well, now his guess was that she had misunderstood the reason why that necklace with a tiger charm and inscriptions that were very likely to be the name of a woman was in his possession.
"Do you think I'm stupid, Li Shang?" she demanded in a broken voice.
"Of course not, Mulan," he began, "this is all very silly, let me explain you."
"Why don't you explain it to your tramp!" She turned around and let the door closed behind her.
Quickly, Shang reached for his clothes and put them. He couldn't just storm out of the room with a single blanket hanging from his waist, for Mulan's sake. Barefoot he stormed out of the room and ran as fast as he could. By then Mulan was already out of sight, so he asked every single person he found on his way where his beloved had gone.
She was inside a stable preparing her horse to leave.
"Where are you going?" he asked, although somehow he knew this was not the right question.
"Home," Mulan snapped, "Isn't it where you want me to be? Isn't it the place I am supposed to be?" Whereas she had her motives to be upset with him, truth be told, she was getting carried away with the stubbornness. She fixed the saddle on Khan's back. Shang reached out for her hand, but she snatched it away from him.
"Mulan, that necklace, it's not what you're thinking!"
"Tell me what the hell am I supposed to be thinking when I knock at your door and I find you without clothes lying beside an empty bottle of wine, and a stupid necklace on the floor?!"
"Seriously, Mulan," Shang explained up and his tone remained gentle, " That necklace belongs to a man that died in the battlefield, I took it away from him so I could give it to his family." Mulan's expression softened as he continued. "It is completely harmless, I assure you, I wouldn't dare break our promise."
Mulan sighed. Shang was really not the kind of man who would throw away his reputation or taint his honor just to feast on the flesh of a woman. Then again, neither had she expected him to see so much anger in him, nor to find him completely knocked out lying on a bed as a result of a drink. What did that bottle have anyway? It had been strong enough to keep him unconscious for two whole days.
Lieutenant Shui stormed into the stable holding a scroll in his hands.
"General Li, I have been notified that we should expect more Huns," the lieutenant went on, "rumor has it that the Wall in completely unguarded."
Shang nodded, "We must move at once, there is no time to lose."
"Should we ask for reinforcement from the other provinces?"
"Certainly, we can never be too prepared." Shang continued and it was as if Mulan had never been there, "We have around nine hundred men. I guess we can deal half and half, lieutenant."
Lieutenant Shui assented without complaints.
"I suggest you take the Eastern route. My men and I shall advance through the western route. We shall meet in the course of a week."
"I'll call out for our troops to assemble," Shui Yìng offered and headed out of the stable, leaving Mulan and Shang alone.
Li Shang turned to Mulan, before he could say anything she claimed, "I'm going with Lieutenant Shui."
Shang felt the psychological blow immediately. Clearly, there was not time to waste in arguments, however; he needed to make sure Mulan would be fine, and that could be hard if she went with the other troop. "Listen, Mulan, what happened the other day, I am sorry. I never meant to get too carried out."
"But you did"
"And I regret it."
"Fine," Mulan said, "Shang I have been thinking, and I think it would be best if we part ways." Too much could be interpreted from her words. Shang was getting tired of her insistence on holding on to the argument. Anyways, there would be plenty of time for them to talk once the war would be over. For now, he decided that he would grant her the freedom to fight alongside with whom she chose; despite the fact it crushed him on the inside that it was not him. She barely knew Shui Yìng, but he knew she was doing this to avoid him. If she wanted time to cool off he was willing to give her space. Shang knew he had done wrong sending her home, but he would make it up to her soon.
"Mulan, have you forgotten the promise?"
"No," she said simply as she climbed to her horse's back. "That is what tears me apart." She softly pressed her heels on Khan's barrel and walked him out of the stable. Their conversation left unfinished. Contrary to what she admitted, Mulan had deeply loved and admired Li Shang for his strengths. She had idealized him many times before, and when he revealed his human flaws he made her feel disappointed. Her feelings for him had not changed at all, but ever since the battle she had pondered the thought that maybe it would not be the best choice if they got married. Deep down Mulan knew Li Shang was not perfect, but she was aware he was an honorable and righteous man, and she wondered if his stability was threatened by her presence. On the other hand, the bruise Shang's grip on her arm did not cause her physical pain at all, yet it was a reminder of a side of him she would rather not see. She had to understand that Shang had been raised to become a military man; it was only natural for him to react that way and specially within the battlefield.
Author's Note: Hopefully, the next chapter will be up for the weekend. Oh, and by the way, I talked to my friend Qi Feng and she said she would update her fanfic (Fate).
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