Author's Note: Well, it took me very long to complete this chapter because I was not content with the first results, so I changed it several times. Hopefully, this last version will be accepted by you readers.

Wives Do Not Serve In the Army

Mulan dismounted her dark stallion, led it through the beautiful flower filled gardens at the entrance of the Li Estate until they reached the stables. She had returned from the monthly visit she paid her relatives, and by the absence of Shang's white horse she assumed his master was still on the mission the son of heaven had assigned him. She sighed disappointed. Lately he spent more time with the Emperor than he spent with her, and when they were together his mind seemed to be somewhere else rather than with her. All he did was file reports, write letters to important officials and imperial consuls. Mulan was growing tired of his unfounded excuses and disregard for her. She yearned for him to seek her hand, for him to kiss her passionately, just the way he used to do. Such behavior had awakened Mulan's insecurity and now she found herself wondering if Shang would rather be with someone else, someone who was more fit to be a wife than she was.

As Mulan turned to leave the stables, she felt a bolt of pain on her lower back. She shut her eyes for a moment, until it subsided. Khan had been well aware of that, so he gently moved towards her and nudged his nose against her back. Mulan patted his head affectionately with a lopsided smile.

"I'll be fine boy," she assured, "I guess it must be that I'm tired."

With those final words she left the stables and entered the house. Once she was inside, she immediately detected the presence of someone or something bizarre in the house. Her sense of suspicion increased when she heard the moaning and hollering coming from Chan Juan's room. Could it be possible? Mulan felt her heart skip a beat. How could Shang do this to her? She had to stop it.

Unfortunately for Chan Juan, she had forgotten to put the lock on her room, and it was easy for Mulan to storm in, and find out that the man with Chan Juan was definitely not Li Shang, for this one was less muscular. The wife to the late general Li was having an affair. Mulan had no time to get a clear view of who the man was since she left the room as soon as she realized it was not her husband. However, she was not quiet enough and the pair, engaged in a compromising situation, were aware of her presence.

As Mulan headed towards her room, she heard Chan Juan calling her out.

"This isn't what it looks like," Shang's stepmother tried to explain.

But Mulan did not want to hear. An affair was an affair, no matter the reasons, no matter the people involved. Frankly, she did not care about Chan Juan's business, but she knew that if Shang found out about it, he was entitled to expel her forever from the Li home on the account of dishonoring her late husband's memory.

Chan Juan reached out for Mulan's shoulder and pleaded. "Please, you do not understand how I feel. I have been lonely since the general died. Please do not tell Shang."

For a moment, a feeling of power took over Mulan. After all this time putting up with the woman's snide comments, Mulan had now something she could use in her favor, so Chan Juan would leave her in peace, and yet she so badly wanted Shang to find out. Either way, Mulan would win. But for tonight, all she wanted was to rest.

"I don't care about what you do in your bedroom," Mulan told her coldly, with those final words she locked herself in Shang's bedroom.

As she lied on the bed, she felt the pain on her back return to her. However, she was more concerned about Li Shang's whereabouts. She had not seen him for three weeks now and it was driving her mad not to receive news about him. Just before he left, they had had an argument, and she feared he did not want to come home because of her.

Shang looked through the transparent silk drapes on the large window of his temporary room to the garden outside. He began to think that this garden resembled the one of the emperor, and wondered if it was because he had been parted from Mulan for the longest period since they had gotten married. If he were at home, he and Mulan would probably be consummating.

His mind drifted off into that emperor's birthday anniversary celebration. He and Mulan had been married for a couple of months, and they found hard to conceal their infatuation for one another. And so, amid the commotion caused by the fireworks and parade, they sneaked into the gardens and together they made the wind and the rain beneath the cherry blossom trees, as a mixture of adrenaline caused by the fear of getting caught and the love they felt for each other ran through their veins.

A smile spread across Shang's features, as he thought about his wife's determination. After all she had been the one who initiated everything that night. He truly missed her these days, and could not wait to return home and see her again, to hold her lithe body in his arms and to please her until she would tremble beneath him.

But then he wondered if it would be that easy to have her when he would return home, for he had made her feel angry and hurt the day he left on the mission. He let out a heavy sigh as he thought about the current difficulties in their marriage. Perhaps if he would make her feel less pressured, she would conceive their child at last. Nevertheless, he worried something might be wrong either with him or with her. And if that was the case, how would they make things work? Would he have to take another wife to give him heirs to pass the Li name?

Shang shook his head, it was Mulan or no one else.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He unlocked the door, and a young lady wearing emerald robes stood before him. At first she simply stared at his feet, and then she raised her eyes to meet his. Shang could not help but to find the young woman's glance mesmerizing.

"How may I serve you?" Shang inquired confused. He had no idea who this woman was.

After a moment of silence she answered, "I was hoping I could serve you." Before Shang could say anything, she pulled the belt on her robe and let it fall from her shoulders revealing her slender naked form.

Li Shang took a step back and placed a hand on his eyes to avoid seeing her.

"I believe you must have mistaken me for someone else," he said now turning his back on her.

"You are General Li Shang aren't you?" she inquired softly adding a tone of sensuality to her words as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Lady, you must leave," said Shang as he backed away from the intruder.

"The governor sent me to thank your loyalty to the empire."

"It's not necessary I have a wife."

"She does not need to know." She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer to her

Shang swallowed hard. No matter how beautiful this lady was, he could not do this to Mulan, for he respected her loyalty and knew that she would be heartbroken and would probably walk away from him forever.

"Go away lady!" Shang ordered, but the woman did not dare move.

All of a sudden a loud cry was heard. His instincts told him someone had been attacked.

Shang violently pushed the lady away and walked past her out of the room.

She landed hard on the marble floor.

The halls were dark, and no guards were in sight. Something bad happened and he knew it would definitely jeopardize the current peaceful relationships between the province and the imperial city.

Shang saw a dim light at the end of the hall coming from one of the chambers. He walked towards it, but soon it went off, and heard someone rushing by him. Shang cursed as he realized he was not carrying his sword with him, all he had was the small knife he kept in his belt.

He tried to follow the footsteps by their sound, but it became impossible when the hall was filled with a cry , "the governor has been murdered!" Shang turned to walk towards the room again, but then he decided it would be more useful if he caught the assassin. Therefore, he ran in the opposite direction.

The hall was lit all of a sudden by the torches carried by the guards. The culprit was nowhere in sight, making Shang seem suspicious in the guards' eyes. They charged towards him, and he did not fight them back. Instead, he simply told them the truth.

"The murder escaped, he headed in that direction."

"How do you intend to be useful, you're not even wielding a sword," demanded one of the guards as he pinned him to the ground.

"Perhaps you left it intentionally where you murdered the governor," concluded the other one pulling his hair to lift his face.

That moment, the mysterious lady who had willingly offered herself to Shang moments earlier emerged from the guests chamber the young general was assigned.

She looked down at Shang, and somehow he could sense she was pleased.

"Yang," the first guard asked, "was this man with you?"

She looked down at Shang one more time. She remained silent for a long time as the young general's fate lied in her hands. Either way he was lost.

"He tried to take advantage of me," she said finally, feigning innocence and vulnerability.

*+*+*+*+

Mulan opened her eyes abruptly as the pain from her entrails disturbed her slumber. Sometimes her old wound would give her the sensation of pain; however, this time it felt very different. Perhaps a warm cup of tea would make it go away. She looked though the window and confirmed it was still dark. She sighed. She refused to bother the maid at such late hours, so she decided to do it herself. As she sat up another bolt of pain pierced through her body.

Great ancestors. She exclaimed as she was aware of the blood stain in her nightgown. Her first instinct was to search for a wound but there was none.

She got on her feet and thick red blood covered her legs. This was not normal, so unlike the regular bleeding she knew. The pain was unbearable and she had to sit down again.

She called out the maid's name several times, hoping Chan Juan would not hear her cries. But there was no answer.

She stood up one more time and took a step forward, but her legs were weak and could not hold the rest of her body. She landed on her knees and all of a sudden her eyes felt heavy and everything went black. Mulan fell unconscious on the ground.

Shang placed the saddle on his white stallion's back and secured the bag with his belongings with the belt in the saddle. He sighed impatiently, he knew she had followed him to the stables and was expecting him to say something. Nevertheless, it was too difficult all the time. There was no way she could understand his reasons.

She broke the silence, "So, can I go with you?"

It was not as easy as it used to be before. In the past she had fought by his side in the battlefield; now he was expected to play along the game of court diplomacy, and she was too naïve for it.

Shang sighed one more time searching for the right words to say. How could he tell her no without making her feel useless?

"I'd rather you wouldn't," he said after an absence of words between them.

She frowned and inquired defiantly, "Why not?"

Shang rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wished she wouldn't be so stubborn. He remained quiet choosing his word carefully, he knew that words where like a spark close to fireworks.

"Come on, Shang" She insisted, "Don't you think I can defend myself? I've been to war before."

"That's not the point," he interrupted, "things are different now"

"How different exactly?" Mulan demanded as she stood infront of him, "You don't think I am capable?"

"No, you know it's not that," he said simply. He pressed his lips against her forehead as a farewell gesture and turned his back on her.

"Then, what is it?" asked Mulan more irritated.

Shang sighed. There was no way he could get away without giving her a good reason.

"It's my men, alright?" he explained, "I don't want them disrespecting you."

Mulan did not agree with him. So far she had gotten along quite well with the rest of the soldiers. Shang was being unreasonable, and overprotective.

"You know I'll just blend it," she spoke up, "I've done it before."

"Oh, for your ancestor's sake Mulan!" Shang exclaimed, "it's not that easy anymore. You are a married woman, and no respectable married woman serves in the Imperial army!"

"I don't care!" she snapped, "Shang, me being in the army never bothered you before."

She was impossible. "But you are my damn wife now!" he snapped back, his voice higher now, "People are going to tease you just for fun, and I don't want anyone trying to take advantage of you just to piss me off."

"Shang, you're being ridiculous."

Shang raised his brow. Could she not understand that all he wanted was to keep her safe from harm? His patience had worn out. How dare she call him ridiculous.

"Am I?" He demanded bending down to look her straight in the eyes with his authoritative aura, just like when they first met, "Just listen to yourself, any other woman would have agreed to stay home and let her husband have some peace of mind when he leaves, but you." He made a pause. "You have to win the stupid argument, don't you?"

"Then what am I supposed to do Husband?" she asked adding a false adoring tone to the last word. "Stay home and prepare your dinner? Get pregnant so you're content? Is that was this is all about?"

" Well maybe you should," he said angrily, "you made a promise, and it's about time for you to keep it, so stay out of the army and do what is your duty for once !"

Mulan narrowed her eyes at him. He had crossed the line. A mixture of fury and pain invaded her, she could not think of anything to reply his crude remark.

Shang turned his back on her once more and climbed up his stallion's back.

"As your former commanding officer and your husband, I order you to stay home."

Mulan did not dare say anything, not because she feared him, but because of the mixture of emotions boiling inside her. Instead, she kept her eyes narrowed trying to keep the pain to herself. She was disappointed. She never thought there would come a day when he would treat her this way, and what hurt her the most was his cold manner and the fact he did not seem to want to take his words back.

Shang led his horse out of the stable, leaving Mulan behind. He turned back trying to meet her eyes to bid her farewell, but she turned away from him.

A tear rolled from Mulan's eye.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Mulan opened her eyes, feeling dumbfounded for an instant. She could see the blurry bodies of Chan Juan and Jen Chun, the maid, standing next to the bed; and a doctor in front of her.

"What happened?" she asked confused. Somehow she could feel an absence of something.

At first none of them gave her answer, and simply stared at her pitifully.

"You had a miscarriage," informed the doctor.

Mulan blinked twice. It could not be possible.

"I did not know," she placed her hand on her stomach and sat up abruptly, which caused her pain. "I …how far along…I…" She stuttered and shook her head incredulously.

"You were a bit more than a month pregnant," explained the doctor, "you probably couldn't tell yet."

Mulan nodded in understanding. She was still shocked.

"These things happen," the medic went on, "sometimes the babies do not develop the way they should, well…simply it's not meant to be."

Mulan bit her lip, yet she did not dare cry.

"However, this doesn't mean your chances of becoming a mother are gone," he continued, "you need some time to heal your body. Once your cycle returns you may try conceiving again."

Mulan nodded silently as the weigh of guilt fell on her shoulders.

"It is possible that the bleeding might return. Don't be alarmed, just eat healthy and remain in bed until the pain subsides," the medic instructed, "drink these herbs, they'll will help with the healing." He handed a bag of herbs to the maid.

Mulan remained completely silent and motionless.

The doctor made a reverence and excused himself. Before he walked out the door he turned to Mulan and said, "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Fa Mulan." He excited the room followed by Chan Juan.

"I'm going to prepare you some tea with the herbs," announced Jen Chun.

"Thank you," Mulan managed to say.

"Lie down mistress," the maid advised, "rest all you need so you may recover soon."

Mulan did as she was told, and Jen Chun walked out leaving her alone.

That moment Mulan's world fell apart. She could still feel the pain on her back, but it was nothing compared to the grief that gradually increased inside her soul. She placed her left hand on her now empty womb, wondering why this happened to her. Just then she blamed herself. Had she not complained about how not ready she was to become a mother, the ancestors and the gods would not have punished her this way.

The tears welled up in her eyes soon slid across her face. She was allowed to cry, there was no one who could see her. It's all my fault a voice inside her mind repeated. She clung on to her pillow and cried as she heard the echo of Shang's last words before he left,"you made a promise, and it's about time for you to keep it, so stay out of the army and do what is your duty for once!"

The guilt was killing her inside. But she never meant for this to happen. Despite the fear she had not wanted to admit, and her claims of how unprepared she was to bring a child into the world, deep within her she knew that she would have loved this child beyond she could have ever imagined. She would have taken care of him, or her. She would have taught it to be a good and honorable person. She would have given up her own life to protect it. But now all she was left was the bitter taste of loss, and the grief of never knowing what could have been.

Author's Note: Please don't hate me. What do you think? I know, this is probably the hardest and saddest thing I have ever written so far. Please let me know what you think and your reaction to it.