Without further ado, I present to you the 15TH chapter.

Twelve Full Moons

On the day of their first anniversary as husband and wife, Shang had risen earlier than the sun to prepare Mulan's gift. For weeks he had obsessed on what he should give her, for he wanted something special and meaningful that would remind her how much he loved her. So many suggested a fine piece of jewelry was the best gift, considering its value and endurance. Though she would be genuinely grateful, Shang knew she was very simple. The young general also thought of presenting her a sword, but he thought it would be more appropriate for another celebration. He needed something suitable for a wife, but not too ordinary.

The sun had still not risen. Shang entered their chamber and found Mulan the way he had left her earlier. He could not wait for her to see what he had prepared her. Shang sat at the opposite edge of the bed from her contemplating her slow breathing. He smiled to himself wondering if she knew he could stare at her sleeping for quite long periods of time. The way her chest rose and fell as she breathed, the strands of hair framing her face, her hands resting on her abdomen, her lips, her eyes, her small button nose were enough for him to admire forever. He did not dare attempt to wake her.

His gaze remained fixed on her until the sunrays lightened her face and she turned her body to the other side letting him know she had no intention to rise yet. Shang then decided to get dressed for the day. Once he was ready, he gently lied next to her on the bed. Slowly he surrounded her waist with his arm. Then he gently removed her straight locks to get a clearer view of her face. In hopes she would turn to him, open her sweet lips for a kiss, and let him make love to her, Shang pressed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Nevertheless, she remained asleep. His breath lingered upon her neck for a while until she turned to face him, her eyes still closed. He smiled and caressed her back.

At last she half opened one of her eyes. He pressed a kiss on her nose, and then another on her forehead. Mulan kept her eyes closed to avoid the morning light.

"Goodmorning," he whispered.

"morning" she replied as she opened one eye.

He pressed his lips on the eye she left unopened.

"Shang," she pronounced audibly .

"Mulan," he called out leaning to kiss her neck as he massaged her back.

She pursed her lips worriedly. He had been wanting to make the wind and the rain for a while and she had no more excuses to postpone it. She had to move on some day, otherwise he was bound to disown her. Moreover, it was something she had always enjoyed, it could not be unpleasant.

Shang looked into her eyes tenderly, and he could clearly read the sadness he had been witnessing lately and did not understand. He had apologized many times, and she had genuinely forgiven him. But why did he feel she was hiding something?

Before he could read any further, his wife wrapped a leg around his waist granting him consent to proceed. He was somehow impatient, for it had been a long time since he had intimacy with her. There was hunger in the way he kissed her, and he got so lost in his own lust, he did not notice there were times in which she actually cried as she remembered the tragic experience she had recently suffered.

The moment he came out of his ecstasy he realized something had gone wrong. Something about Mulan was not the same. He rolled on his back and lied next to her sighing agitatedly. She had turned her back on him trying to hide her tear stained face . Sensing the distance he reached out for her , and with her eyes closed she rested her head on his chest.

"Mulan," he asked concerned, "are you alright?"

She simply nodded, and he decided to believe her.

"I really missed this," he declared nonchalantly, somehow hoping she would say the same.

He caressed her cheek affectionately and she looked up at him.

"Wait here, I have something for you."

Shang got up, redressed himself and left the room. Mulan let a long heavy sigh escape from her as she realized things were definitely not the same. All along she had been worried about doing things right, and somehow she kept remembering the child she had lost. Nevertheless, she kept reminding herself she had to give him what he wanted, and maybe she could compensate the miscarriage. She had forgotten how it was to enjoy the mere moment of intimacy with her husband, leaving the world behind her and just become one with him.

Just then, Shang entered the room carrying a wooden box. He sat next to his wife and handed her the box . She looked at him puzzled. Why would he bring her a gift?

As if he had read her mind, Shang answered her unspoken question, "It has been twelve full moons since you became my wife."

"Oh Shang, "she felt embarrassed she had not remembered, "I don't know what to say."

"A thank you is enough," he said.

"Well thank you."

She opened the box and found a golden necklace with a small charm sword which had the characters for love and courage.

"I couldn't think of other words that could describe you best."

Mulan nodded, suddenly reminded of who she really was.

"Shang, I…I didn't get you anything."

"It's alright, you don't have to." He continued, "well, actually, a little smile on your face will do." He lifted her chin to look into her eyes amorously. She grinned weakly.

"Well, I guess I can still make a special meal for you today," she offered.

"Sure, I'd love to," he replied not taking his eyes from hers. "Just let me show you something before.

"Just let me get dressed,"

"Of course," he added with a smile. He still found endearing how she would wrap herself around the blanket hiding her nudity. He had seen her body many times before but she always covered herself afterwards. He left the room to give her some privacy to dress up and waited next to the door. He recalled their first night together. Only the gods and the ancestors knew he was anxious, but he had managed to make her feel safe in his arms, but then his nerves betrayed him and the first time did not turn out so well.

Mulan came out of their room wearing a peach dress, which suited her skin tone. She fixed her hair in a lose bun and wore the jade earrings she had worn the day she visited the matchmaker. She had no makeup except for the slight dark outline on her eyelids. Shang loved how beautiful she looked and yet how simple she was, unlike other women who would hide their faces beneath layers of white paint and hang plenty of gemstones and metal on their necks and hands.

Shang smiled and complimented her beauty and she smiled shyly back at him. He walked behind her and asked her to close her eyes. She obeyed and then he lifted her in his arms to lead her into the extensive Li family backyard.

"You may open your eyes now," he consented.

She looked at her surroundings, and noticed nothing out of the ordinary wondering what he wanted to show her.

He put her down.

"Open your hands," he commanded softly.

Mulan did as she was told as he handed her a wooden bucket of water. She looked up at him questioningly.

Shang pointed at a small tree next to her. She poured the water on the earth holding the small tree.

"I planted the seeds that grew into a tree a few days before our wedding," he explained, "and I thought it could be our tree, since it symbolizes our life together." Mulan nodded in understanding. Shang could be somewhat reserved; on the other hand, when he wanted to show affection he would provide her with something with a profound meaning which allowed her to know he cared for her more than she could imagine. "It began to grow at the same time we began our life together as a couple, and all this time I have learned so many things about you, and as the roots of this tree have grown, the roots of my feelings have grown and settled within you. Fa Mulan, I never knew true bliss until I met you." Mulan stared into his eyes and smiled genuinely as he took both of her hands in his own. "I want to be by your side and watch this tree grow stronger so we can have a special place to be together, and maybe someday our children can play beneath it." At the mention of the word children, Mulan looked away from him as the feeling of loss and sadness returned.

"I'll go fix your breakfast," she announced and turned her back to leave.

"Mulan?" he called out behind her. He had not planned for her to cut him off so quickly.

She pretended she had not heard him and hastened her pace as tears began to pour from her almond shaped eyes. Her vision blurred and she did not notice a rock on her way and tripped over it. Shang ran to reach her.

He knelt beside her and placed one arm over her back. She pursed her lips and remained with her arms stretched leaning her weight on her palms. She refused to let him see she was crying. But it was too late.

The mandatory question the situation implied was asked, "Are you alright?" She nodded regardless of the truth. He surrounded her body with both his arms and brought her closer to him her back against his chest.

"Let me see."

Slowly she moved her legs stretched before her, and it was then she felt the pain on her left ankle, though it was nothing compared to the ache she was feeling inside her.

Shang ran one hand down her leg gently applying pressure to check if she had sprained a bone.

"Let me know where it hurts."

"It's the ankle," she responded.

Shang put his hand on her ankle examining it.

"Seems it's fine, it'll get swollen," he said, "just the impact, I had never seen you in such a hurry to make breakfast for me."

Mulan smiled lopsidedly.

"Mulan, is there something you want to tell me?"

She looked into his eyes knowing perfectly he was aware something was not right; she could no longer conceal the truth from him. Every day became harder than before. How should she start? Dozens of phrases were in her mind, yet she could not utter a single word.

"Shang, I don't deserve all this," she began, "I have been a lousy wife to you."

"That's nonsense Mulan."

"I didn't remember our anniversary"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It's not like I haven't forgotten important dates."

"It's not just that," she said through a fit of tears, "it's been a year and I haven't given you a son."She swallowed hard. Hoping he would at least get a hint of what she wanted to tell him, perhaps it would make it easier.

"It's fine, you said you wanted to wait. I guess the heavens are giving us more time for ourselves."

He gently drew her head against his chest as she continued sobbing. He was somewhat surprised, for all he knew Mulan was not willing to have a child yet. The young general did not understand what was going on. She was so different from the Mulan he had left three months ago. He had never seen her so vulnerable for so long, and he felt helpless and uneasy every time she started crying, mostly because he did not know how he should act or what to say in order to soothe her. He held on to her in silence wondering if she was still resenting the words he said to her before he left on the mission. Then he remembered hearing women were more sensitive when they got pregnant. Could it be?

Authors note: Hope you can see where Shang's thoughts are going now. Thank you kindly for taking your time to read and review. I really appreciate it.

Thecoldestraindrops are tears: I'm glad you're back. I'm really looking forward to reading your next chapter. (Can't mention that enough =)

Julianne91: Neither can I wait to write it down. =)

Mi li ya mu: Thank you so much for reading the story and reviewing. Shang told her the truth because he really wants to patch things up with Mulan, and he doesn't want people telling her gossip.

Patty: thank you very much =) it's always my motivation to know people are liking my story.

jenna zabala: True. The longer she waits to tell him the harder it'll get.

tinemelk: You have no idea how honored I feel with your comment. Thank you so much. =)

: Thank you very much. He will find out eventually.

levy120: Yay, a long nice review. =) I felt the same about the last part, I had actually thought about moving on with it as if he had already told her like you said

I-love-Mulan-13: thank you very much :)

Abby reads: yeah definitely, I have evolved. I was pretty much a girl back when I wrote my first fanfics, which were originally my play scripts. Thank you so much for pointing out my mistake I'll get to fix it. I'm actually planning to edit the story during the winter break.

A little info for the next chapter: Mulan and Shang will go visit the Fa family. Stay tuned =)