The Twilight Twenty-Five
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The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall

Cathy9
Emmett/Renesmee

Rating: M

I was leery about asking him to help me out but Alice assured me nothing would happen. My beloved was already placing our baby girl in his large hands and telling him that he would be really good at this. I still can't picture Emmett being good at babysitting. A teenage boy maybe, they could play video games all night long but my four-week-old baby girl, who already looked like she was one, was a whole different story.

"Thank you Em, I trust you completely, just please try not to swear in front of her." Bella said leaving a kiss on his cheek and one on our slumbering daughters forehead.

"I'll try my best for you Bella. Edward, it would help if you stopped looking at me like I was going to eat her the second you left the room."

"Bella…"

"No Edward, we are going! You promised me this night two weeks ago and I've been looking forward to this since."

"At the time darling, I didn't know our entire family would be unavailable to baby-sit."

"Dude, since when am I not your family? I'm insulted! You are lucky I love my little sister Bella. I'm doing this for her, not you, shithead."

"Emmett!"

"Sorry Bells but I was thinking of calling him something much worse."

"Just do your best Em and I'm sure tonight will go smoothly. See you in the morning."

"Bye Bella."

As soon as Bella and Edward were out the door I started calling Edward names in my head. I knew after a few minutes he would tune me out. I looked down at my slumbering niece and she opened her gorgeous big brown eyes at me and smiled.

"Well hello there beautiful. What is a classy girl like you doing in a joint like this?" I waggled my eyebrows and she started to laugh. Her laughter sounded like wind chimes blowing in the breeze. I waggled my eyebrows once more and sure enough she started to laugh again. I didn't recall her laughing before so I got my phone and recorded her reaction to my funny faces. Stupid Edward didn't think I could take care of her; I was the first to make her laugh. I finally put my phone away and brought Ness in to the kitchen to give her a bottle of milk. The look she gave me when she realized it was formula and not blood made me laugh.

"Sorry beautiful, but if I can't have blood either can you. Be a good girl and drink it for your Uncle Em. Do you know how much I love you Ness? You can always come to me to get you out of trouble and I'll always be happy to play with you. Alice and Rose just like dressing you up, I'll play games like peek a boo with you. We can play a game as soon as you are finished with that bottle."

I swear she can understand every word we say because she downed her bottle and tossed it in the sink. "Two points, Alice might have to give up her pitching duties with an arm like that. You Rock Ness! Hmm maybe that can be our secret name for you Rock Ness Lobster. Do you like that? I think you do," I said as I poked her gently on the side and made her laugh again.

Setting her carefully down on the couch in a seated position, I built a fort of pillows to keep her upright and got down on my knees and hid my eyes for a fraction of a second, "Peek a boo!" Half way through the game she covered her eyes and removed them moving her lips. I laughed and encouraged her to do it again. Thirty minutes latter, we were still playing the game alternating who peeked while the other one laughed in response. Somewhere around the two-hour mark I got tired of the game and started to play 'This little piggy' with her. It was a big hit and I seriously wondered if anyone brought fun and games into her life. "Ness from now on I'm going to be your favourite Uncle. Uncle Em is your go to guy for fun. Let's go see what they have in your room upstairs.

I noticed several stuffed animals and put Nessie in her crib while I ran them downstairs and ran back up to bring her down as well. I put her back on the couch and examined the cat, bear, elephant and brown puppy dog I had bought her the other day. I made voices for all the stuffed animals, the bear had the weakest voice of course and the puppy dog was the all-knowing one. I moved the animals around and made up plays that kept the two of us in high spirits for several hours. Ness yawned and I took her in to my arms leaving several kisses all over her face. She smiled at me and touched my face to show me how her day went. She showed me all the moments we shared then played peek a boo one last time before wiggling down in my arms and drifting off to sleep.

I made myself comfortable on the couch amongst the pillows and watched my niece dream. She was like Bella and talked in her sleep, except I couldn't understand her. She moved her little fists and made the funniest facial expressions, rocking herself in my arms at one point but she stayed asleep. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I loved Rose but Ness had completely stolen my heart. My wife was going to have some serious competition for her time from now on. At one point, Ness stopped moving and it freaked me out. I got very quiet and listened then breathed a sigh of relief when I heard her fluttering heart and felt her breath leave her little lips.

When she woke up several hours later, I kissed her hands and the tip of her nose and sang her a silly good morning song I had made up while she slept. She rewarded me with the biggest smile and a little giggle. I warmed up her formula and gave her a little bowl of Cheerios to eat. Ness decided it would be more fun to feed them to me. Thirty or forty of the little O's sat in my gut like lead weights. I hoped Bella would make it back soon so I could get rid of them, also not a pleasant process but it made Ness happy so I kept eating the damn O's.

After breakfast, I changed her clothes and put her in a pair of jeans, mini chucks and a warm black fleece hoodie that had Panda ears on the top of the hood. I took a picture of her with my phone and made it my screensaver. We went on a little adventure to the garage and I put her behind the wheel of my Jeep. It was probably going to be the only car she'd get to drive because the rest of my family had car issues. Well Bella couldn't care less, she loved her old truck but Edward took over her car selection months ago. I told Ness that I'd teach her how to drive and she smiled then let out the most unlady like fart that had me killing myself laughing. After I aired out my Jeep we went out for a little walk around the house. The phone rang and Alice warned me that Edward and a slightly angry Bella were on their way back. I told her we were having some fun outdoors and Alice told me that Ness was about to say her first words so I might want to prep the video camera. I thanked her and brought Nessie back inside. I set up the camera and had Ness playing in front of it. She picked up the book Edward was reading and tossed it across the room. I started laughing until she picked up my video game controller.

She turned around and handed it to me saying, Em's"

"That's right beautiful, the game is Uncle Em's. Can you say Uncle Em?"

"cle Em's."

"Close it's UNCLE Em."

"Uncle Em."

"Say it again Ness."

She stopped and pointed to herself and said Ness then pointed at me and said Em. I opened up my arms and she ran in to them and planted a kiss on my cheek. She said my name several times and stopped when I told her Mommy was about to arrive.

"Can you say Mommy, Ness?"

"Mommy"

"Can you say Daddy?"

"Mommy!"

"That's right Ness, you can say Mommy and Em but what about Daddy?"

"Mommy!"

"Ness…."

"Em she's looking at me."

"Oh hey Bells, I didn't think you'd be back this soon."

"Edward was driving me insane and I don't mean in the way I wished he was."

"Did you have fun with Uncle Emmett, Renesmee?"

"Em is fun."

"Her first sentence and it's about me. I love you Ness." I replied knowing that if I were still human I'd have a few tears running down my cheeks.

"Can we tell Uncle Em we love him too, Sweetie?"

"I lub you Em."

"Close enough squirt, close enough," I laughed.

Ness put her hands on Bella's cheeks and showed her what she did from the time they left until now. Bella looked at me with wonder and mouthed thank you to me. "Wow, you had an amazing time with Uncle Em. I think we just found your permanent babysitter. A puppet show? I'm impressed Em."

"Anything for my niece."

"Edward, not only was she in excellent hands with Emmett she had so much fun. We did not need to rush home."

"Sorry Bella, sorry for doubting you Emmett."

"I recorded her first words. Her first sentence I'll have you know was Em is fun."

"Thanks Em, Nessie come tell daddy about all the fun you had."

My niece bent towards me in Bella's arms so I stepped closer and gave her a kiss, before Bella turned her over to her father. Bella wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug. "I had complete faith in you Emmett even before Alice told me everything would be fine. Looks like Jake is going to have to share her with you now too."

"Damn straight, the dog is going to have to settle for leftovers."

Bella laughed and punched me in the arm. I decided I'd go get rid of the Cheerios while Ness was with Edward.