Jo stared intensely into Jasper's eyes. "You know you can't win, right?"

"I win at everything," Jasper murmured. "A staring contest against my stupid mother is easy."

"I have eyes of steel."

"No you don't. You have eyes of…whatever eyeballs are made out of."

"Bone?"

"Ew, eyeballs aren't made out of bone…"

Jo blinked. "…darn."

Jasper flung his hands up victoriously. "I told you!"

Jo shrugged. "Go get that stupid friend of yours and make him go against me next."

"You mean Shun? He's not my friend."

"Get him anyways."

Jasper groaned in annoyance and left to fetch Shun like Jo had ordered. In the meantime, Sasori took Jasper's place and engaged in a staring contest with Kyoya, who had taken Jo's spot.

"This is going to be the greatest staring contest tournament ever," Jo mumbled.

Sasori stared into his opponents eyes. Kyoya blinked very deliberately and stood up.

"Can I go do something productive now?" he asked Jo. Jo shushed him.

"You have to watch the other matches, young grasshopper," she breathed. "Sasori-senpai. Please join the ranks of amazing stare-ers and stand over there."

Jasper returned, tugging the much-taller Shun by the arm. Shun gave Jo an annoyed look, and then he was shoved into the chair Sasori had once had. Jo took a seat in the other chair.

"You. Stupid kid. We're gonna have a staring contest," Jo announced monotonously.

Shun blinked. "Can I go home now?"

"No. We haven't started yet. Ready…go!"

Shun blinked again. "Now can I go home?"

Jo sighed. "You're boring," she complained. "Get out of my house."

Gratefully, Shun exited the house.

"OK then! Next round is…Kiba versus Iori!"

The two mentioned people took their seats and began to stare at each other.

"You can't win," Iori stated.

"Oh, yes I can," Kiba said, chuckling. "Just watch and learn, little sis."

Iori smirked. "I have ways of defeating my opponents," she murmured.

Kiba's eyes widened. "Don't you dare, kid…"

For a second, Iori's eyes flashed pink. Kiba's eyes became blank. Iori lifted her chin. "Blink," she ordered.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Kiba droned. He blinked. Iori's eyes flashed again and Kiba's returned to normal. He jumped up. "No fair, you little cheater! She used her powers!"

"A win is a win," Jo commented. "Iori, join the winners. Kiba, you're a loser. Chazz and Crow, you're next."

Chazz and Crow sat down and stared at each other. Crow grinned cockily and Chazz smirked. They continued to stare.

"Dude, Dad, just give up. You can't win," Chazz sighed.

"That's what YOU think," Crow hissed. "I am awesome. I can do anything! I have…my eyes. My eyes hurt. Do your eyes hurt? Heh, I kinda wanna blink…I'll bet you REALLY wanna blink, huh? My eyes are burning so yours…well, darn." Crow blinked. "I hate you, kid."

"Cool. I win."

Jo nodded and observed her children. "OK…Chazz, Jasper, Sasori, Iori, and me are the winners. Um…Kiba, you re-join the ranks since Iori cheated. And now we have an even number so we can start. I want Chazz to go against Sasori, Jasper against Iori, and me against Kiba. Chazz and Sasori, you start."

Chazz and Sasori took their seats and started to stare.

"I'm totally going to win," Chazz declared.

Sasori was silent, his eyes wide.

Chazz stared. "That's...really creepy, actually."

Sasori tipped his head a bit and stared.

Chazz blinked. "I have to get out of here. That's really creepy. You win."

Sasori cracked a smile. "Thank you."

"OK! Now…me and Kiba!"

Jo and Kiba took their spots and stared. Three seconds later, Kiba blinked.

"Dang it!"

Jo grinned. "Iori and Jasper?"

The two sat down.

"Jasper-nii, you know I love you and all, but I cannot allow myself to be defeated here," Iori sighed.

"You don't have a choice," Jasper muttered.

"Oh yeah?" Iori smirked and her eyes flashed. "Now blink."

"No," Jasper, who was unfazed, replied.

"How do you even do that?" Iori whined, blinking in her confusion.

"I'm special." Jasper smirked. "You lose."

"Darn it, Jasper-nii! You jerk!"

"Sorry, Iori."

Iori sniffed and joined the losers. Jo calculated the matches.

"OK, here. Jasper versus me first. Loser goes against Sasori. Winner goes against the winner of the first match," she called. She took the seat that was once Iori's. "And…GO!"

Jasper and Jo stared. Jo blinked after two minutes. Jo and Sasori stared. Jo blinked after two minutes. Jasper and Sasori stared. Neither of them had blinked after twelve minutes.

Jo watched. "…wow. They're professionals," she whispered to Crow.

Crow nodded. "I'm impressed."

Jo smiled. "Look at them, bonding and stuff…"

Sasori cocked his head. Jasper lowered his eyelids lazily but didn't close his eyes.

Jo sighed wistfully. "What amazing brothers…"

"Yeah, they are…" Crow agreed.

Then, suddenly, Jasper closed his eyes. "I'm bored."

Sasori grinned and blinked. "…ow."

Jo cried out in excitement and ran to the table. "Sasori-senpai! You are the ultimate winner! Congratulations!" she cheered. She raised Sasori's hand in her own. Sasori stood, still smiling. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Staring Contest Champion!"

The family cheered.

Jo smiled. "And now, we go brag to the others that we have the undefeated staring champion living in our home!"

After another cheer, the family walked outside to go brag.

All except Jasper, who had fallen asleep with his cat.