A/N: Mwahahaaaa! I have returned to documenting the retardedness of my musi! And guys, please try and review when you read parts of the MSOIA Mentors series, ordinarily, I'd just be happy if you enjoyed the fic, but the reviews for those stories help me decide who will go on the actual poll for Danny and Jojo's mentors in Making sense Of It All. Thanx, and Enjoy!
Disclaimer:Disclaimer:Oh, and FTR, I can only wish that I owned all the sexy superstars in this story, but sadly, all I own is this used reed I found on the bandroom floor...(Not that I want to own that one)
Ooh, wait, I have a white pitbull puppy named Sheamus, does that count for anything?...What? Nothing AT ALL?
Damnit, well then he can carry his lil old shitty ass back where he came from...
" Hey, Mickey! I want to show you-what are you doing down there, kiddo?"
I don't look up from my spot on the bathroom floor as I pick at the rug, a pout on my face.
"I'm pissed." I say flatly. Wade sits down next to me, his laptop tucked underneath his arm.
"Why?"
"Because! Mike is bald and ugly. Jojo knows about Sheamus. I still don't know who to pick to mentor for the girls. Jack told Danny that Shawn eats the cute, innocent animals from classic Disney movies. There's STILL grapejuice all over the kitchen floor since Jojo won't pick it up. I broke the bathroom rug. I can't decide whether or not to add in another oc in Making Sense of It All. The worms mysteriously disappeared, which isn't so bad, but it's still really creepy. The Boogie Man is real, which means the evil dopplegangers could be real too. Me and Enigmatic Kaneanite switched Kane's since mine wouldn't talk to me, but her's doesn't like me either. And to top it all off, THERE'S A ROGUE LEPRECHAUN SOMEWHERE IN THIS HOUSE!" I screech out in practically one breath.
Wade looks at me, a serious and contemplating look on his face. In fact, if I had to name that face, I would call it the I'm-thinking-
so-hard-I-could-probably-make-you-combust-spontaniously-like-that-poor-dog-on-that-commercial-for-that-retarded-looking-movie-
that-came-out-on-Christmas-day-but-had-nothing-to-do-with-Christmas-and-seemed-like-it-was-again-completely-and-utterly-retarded look.
I stare at him waiting for the tasty shizniblet of philosophical intelligence I'm sure is about to flow from his mouth.
"How did you manage to break the rug?"
"Are you frick-en kidding me? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one! You sitting here asking me this dumbass question 'oh, how did you manage to break the rug,' in your stupid little accent! I was trying to fix it and all the strings started decomposing and falling out!"I yell irritated. I mean, duh, how the hell do you THINK I broke the rug! There aren't that many ways to do it after all!
Though I'm seething as I glare at the rug, he still tries to continue on with his nonsense questions.
"You were trying to FIX the rug? What was wrong with it?" He asks slowly.
"Urgnh! The strings were all bunched up and together!"
"...They were supposed to be like that, that's how the rug is put toget-"
"Well it looked retarded and it was irritating me, kind of like you are now! DO YOU NEED TO BE FIXED TOO?"
He stares at me wide eyed, trying to form word before slowly standing up and backing out,"Uh...you know what? This obviously isn't a good time, so I'm just gonna take my little computer and come show you later...yeah, bye Micks," I glare after him as he heads back downstairs.
Damn musi. Why can't they be useful? I growl one last time at the broke-ass rug before getting up, myself and leaving the bathroom. As I'm walking down the hall, I hear voices coming from one of the rooms, Alex Riley's. I hear Evan and Cody in there with him and even though I'm feeling tremendously lazy, I absolutely HAVE to talk to all three of them about the fic I plan on starting for them. As I open the door to go in, several loud shrieks errupt from the guys and by the time I've gotten in the room, they are all in completely unnatural positions across the room.
"What're you doing?"
"Tweeting," Cody blurts from his spot next to Alex. They are both on the bed, looking over Alex's phone.
"Not you, him. Whatchya doing Evan?" I ask, walking further into the room. Evan is leaning against Alex's closet door and is failing miserably at acting calm and collected. They are trying to hide something, I know it.
"Um... I'm just hanging!" He blurts uneasily and he runs a hand through his spiky hair. Seriously? I know I'm dense, but I'm not stupid.
"Ah, I see," I say, nodding my head in false agreement.
"Quick question though, what's in the closet?"
"Hm?" Evan asks quickly, avoiding my eyes.
"The closet. What's in the closet?"
"What closet?"
"Alex's closet,"
"Ha! You silly girl, Alex doesn't have a closet, do you, Alex?"
"Nope, no closet! What closet? There's no closet, ha! And even if there were a closet, it's not like there would be anything in it, I mean we aren't hiding anything from you-"
"Alex!" Cody growls as he throws a pillow over Alex's mouth. They really think I'm stupid, don't they?
"Evan, move, now!"
"Wait, no!" Evan cries as I shove him out the way and open the closet doors.
A-ha-WTF? 0.0
"Why the hell are there my little pony dolls in the closet?" I ask, looking at the small multicolored ponies before turning to face the the boys. They are all looking down, guiltily at the floor.
"We've been playing dollies with My Little Pony dolls we stole from your next door neighbor..." Evan choked out guiltily.
Wow. I am genuinley shocked. Not that they're playing with the My Little Pony dolls, but that they thought that no one else knew. I had known for a while about the dolls, I just didn't know where the hell they came from...
"That's not really a secret...We all know that you guys play with those things,"
"Oh...well...okay then," Alex says.
I start to leave but then I remember why I came in here.
"Alrighty, twinks! Before I go I need to talk to you,"
"What about?" Cody asks getting up and moving onto the edge of the bed closer to me.
"Chapter story I'm thinking about starting for the three of you,"
Evan and Cody both nodded in approval, seemingly satisfied, but Alex groaned and rolled his eyes. Really? Why in the hell is one of these damn musi always complaining? Can't they all just be satisfied for once? It's not like I've tried to kill them yet. Lord knows I've considered it plenty of times-even dreamed of it-killing them slowly and painfully in their sleep. Except for Chris and Sheamus. I need those two. Oh, and I'd have to kill Mike quickly. He's a light sleeper. Which makes me wonder how in the hell Danny and Jojo managed to sneak up on him and shave his entire head...Must of been when he was ranting...
"What now, Alex?" I growl.
He stares up at me, a disgusted look on his face.
"I have to be in a story with them?" He says pointing to Cody and Evan,"For CHAPTERS?"
Cody and Evan look back at him, confused.
"Yes, and Kofi. I don't see why not...You guys ARE best friends, aren't you?"
He nods slowly, but the look of disdain never leaves his face.
"Then what's the problem?" I scream.
"Those two are icky," He says bluntly.
Cody and Evan scoff, obviously offended. I roll my eyes.
"Okay, nice to know. You guys talk to me tomorrow about the first chapter!"
I exit from the room. I head down the hall to my room, though I'm still absolutely sure that Alex is the one hiding Hornswoggle...
I plop down on the bed, kinda tired of all my musi, when a voice greets me...and it happens to be John Cena's...Wonderful...
"Hey, Mikey, where is your flashdrive?"
I sigh, "Which one?"
"The purple one,"
"Which one?"
"The purple one,"
"John, Which one?"
"Mikey, the purple one, dummy! You've been spending too much time with the twinks, irritating," He mumbles.
My hand immediatley reaches out to my beside table, grabbing something hard and cold. I don't give a monkey's uncle what it is, I just blindly chuck it at John, glaring.
"There are six purple ones, dumbass! And I know that YOU aren't calling anyone irritating!"
When I look back at him, he's cowering in the corner, staring wide eyed at me.
"Dude, did you just seriously throw a stapler at me? You could've killed me! And then who would main event all your stories?" He yelled out.
I looked to the place he had just been standing in. The wall behind it has a bit of a hole in it. Oh, hell, I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble for that one...But looking down I do see that the object I threw at him was indeed a stapler. Why I have one, I don't know considering I'm not allowed to use them...At least not after the stapler gun incident my cousin Hayley and I had...
"Obviously, I just did. And if I had had the chance to kill you, I wouldn't have passed it up. Anyway, you haven't appeared in any story yet, so you wouldn't be that big a loss!" I snap.
He stands up and walks over to me.
"What's your deal?" he lays down next to me.
"Hm...Honestly, I don't know. I'm just pissed,"
"Well, you were fine a few hours ago. What happened?"
I shrug. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing,"
"Hm...Are you bipolar?"
"Not that I know of..."
"IED?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Do you have any mental or emotional problems?"
"I hit my head on my locker...Would that count?"
"I don't know. Did you get a concussion?"
"I've been trying to figure that out for the past two days!"
"Why don't you just go to the doctor?"
I look at him like he has a pale ghostly version of Colitis on his shoulder, being very nice to him. John looks at me, dumbfounded.
"Do you even know what a doctor is?"
"Duh, John!"
"Well how often do you go?"
"Only when I get hurt. Common sense."
"You get hurt a lot though, and you barely ever go to the doctor then!"
"That's cuz you're only supposed to go when you run out of tape, tylenol, alcohol, and expo markers!"
"0.0..." John stared at me for awhile, not exactly knowing what to say next. So instead of me getting just a second of quiet, another muse walks in to fill the void.
"Did you get it? Pleeeeeease, tell me you got 'em!" Jojo shrieks in practically one breath as she rushes into my room. I look up at her already knowing what she's talking about, and agravated that she chose this moment to bother me about it.
"Yes, Jojo. I got them." I reach over to my bedside table and pick up a stack of papers, handing them over to Jojo and she squeals, loudly in my ear.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Micks, I looooooove you!" She lunges for me and catches me in a fricken death grip of a hug.
"What you got there Jojo?" John asks in a mocking baby voice as he tries to intentionally rile up the crazy bitch. He's looking over her shoulder at the papers in her hand.
"Sheet music for Britney Spears, Criminal on flute!" Jojo says, jumping up and down in excitement.
"Why's it purple?"
"To match the bruises I gave Chris after he tore up the first set," She says, barely paying any attention to him. The way she says it so bluntly, as if a 13 year old girl attacking a grown man and actually injuring him over something as irrelevant as Britney Spears sheet music, was an everyday thing in this house...oh, yeah, I forgot, it is...
0.0...That's why my Jericho muse has a black eye and a giant nasty ass bruises going down his side?
"Jojo...You're telling me that Chris can't see out of his right eye and his whole left side is all bruised up because of Britney Spears Sheet music?"
She scoffs, "No, dumbass. I'm telling you his side is all bruised up because I beat him with a pool stick! I gave him the black eye when he replaced the songs on my workout playlist with Taylor Swift, Stephen Jerzak, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Eminem,"
I stare at her, way to tired to respond, though John, seems to be appalled by whatever she might have just said. Not like I was actually listening to her explanation...
"You don't like EMINEM? What the hell is wrong with you, little girl? Don't you know what musical ART is?" John shrieked.
Jojo stared at him, narrow eyed and irritated.
"A grown man that's mad at the world and does nothing more than scream profanities, beat his wife, and traumatize his daughter, all while covering a poor innocent microphone in his drug soaked spit is NOT musical art, John. And besides, I'm not the one who has a problem, Em's the one who filed the restraining order, not that that was going to stop me from doing anything anyhow."
John glared at her for a second before looking over to me.
"Purple flashdrive?"
"There's one on the back of my school id,"
He gets up to retrieve said item before leaving. Jojo looks over at me.
"Hey, Mikey, when are you gonna update Making Sense Of It All?"
"After I decide who's going to mentor you,"
"Why? I think you can fit in a few more chapters,"
"I probably could, but at the moment, my plans had been to switch over to the pov of the superstars at the Summerslam setup in Tampa. Then it would switch back over to you guys. I could change that a little bit. Do you plan on helping me with that?"
"Do I plan on what?"
"Helping me. With your story?"
She stares at me blankly. Let me just mention to all of you readers that helping me with a story is a completely foreign concept to Jojo.
"Okay, Jojo, I'll try. But until I can think of something, i'm gonna heep up with the MSOIA Mentors series(Which do not have to be read in order, since there really is no order),"
"But you aren't really getting any reviews for those stories. There's only one for each of them, AND they're all from Enigmatic Kaneanite, who also might I add, picked the characters for every one of those since you couldn't get them out on time."
I glare at her.
"You know you're real helpful, Jojo," I spit.
She smirks,"I know," she struts smugly out of the room and back where she came from. Smug little bitch.
She has a good point though. Which brings me to the next matter.
"Kane!"
No answer. I swear he's avoiding me. I don't know why though, I mean the two of us only have so much time left together before he has to go back to Enigmatic Kaneanite and my Kane has to come back. I get up to go look for him. I make my way into my Kane's room and he's asleep on the bed. Aww, so cute! Out of the corner of my eye, I see a small movement. It's followed by a few urgent whispers. I walk further into the room, and three pairs of legs are coming from under the bed.
"Are you sure it's down here?"
"Absolutely, I checked last night!" The muffled voices sounded so familiar and I had a good feeling of who it was. I walked quietly over to Kane's bedside table, scanning it quickly with my eyes. I smile, seeing what I was looking for: a lighter. I pick it up, looking it over. I'd bet good money that Kane was thinking about setting fire to me in my sleep... I shrug and walk back over near the wriggling bodies, half crouched under the bed. I lean down and start the fire.
Hmm, who to light first? The set of limbs in the middle seem to be the shortest, so I'm going to guess that they belong to the ringleader of this whole thing. I lower the lighter, closer and closer to the man's ankle.
"Cody, move your foot, it's tickling me!"
"Dude, I'm on the other side of you!"
"Well something's-...something's burning me...Ow!" A loud yelp followed by a thud resounded as Evan kicked away from the flame and tried to scoot away from under the bed. Following behind him, Cody's and Kofi's heads pop out from under the bed. Evan glares at me as he rubs his head.
"Dude, what the hell was that for? You made me hit my head!" Evan whined, pouting at me.
"What are you guys doing? And where's Alex, isn't he normally with you guys when you act stupid?" I growl.
"We were just...bonding. And where the hell is Alex? He was supposed to be watching out for anyone!" Cody yelled standing up.
"Hm, I don't know. Maybe he's not stupid!" I yell, looking at the three, prying musi. Just then, the same man we were talking about walked through the door, a bowl in hand. He passed the four of us up, walking over to Kane. He set the bowl down on the bedside table. He looks up at us, shooshing us, loudly, though no one is speaking, before dipping his hands in the bowl. He pulls them back out, rubbing his hands together quickly. He leans over Kane, and slaps him hard across the face, a resounding smack, filling the room. The three musi on the side of me jump in fear that the big man will wake up.
I stare at him wide eyed before stuttering out,"Wh-w-what the hay, man? I just defended your 'intelligence' to these three, and THIS is what you give me? What was that you even put on your hands?"
He looks up at me and smiles, that oh so annoying, yet adorable, 'I'm causing havoc' smile.
"It wasn't rat piss, was it?" Cody asked, turning a sickly green, as he made a disgusted face. The four of us stare at him blankly, before Alex gets back to what he was saying.
"Nooo, it's not rat piss! That would be icky! It's bacon grease,"
I look up at him," Where did you get it from?"
He shrugs,"It was in a cup in the freezer,"
"Dammit, Alex, that was for the spinach caserole!"
"Spinach caserole is icky,"
I narrow my eyes at him. What is with his obsession with the word icky?
"Whatever...Hey, haven't you three been featured in this chapter already?"
"Yes, but Kofi wasn't," Evan cut in. True that.
"Oh, well. Enough of the four bonders, get the hell out,"
"But-"
"Out."
"Mikey-"
"Out."
"Grr-"
"Deuces!" I finish, pushing them out the room. I slam the door behind them and before I can turn around, a sharp pain needles through my head. I spin around, seeing Kane sitting up, and he's glaring at me. Oh, so now he chooses to wake up. Alex slaps him with bacon grease, yet I get knocked upside the head, yeah because that's right.
"Ow! What the hell did you just hit me with?"
"Your Spongebob cd,"
"I've been looking for that!"
"I know, that's why I hid it,"
I glower over at him.
"Are you ready to help me with the Danny/Kane story?"
He grunts and lies back down,"Can't you get Danny to help you with that?"
"She did, she wrote the first three drafts, but they're all too...too-"
"Sugar coated?"
"Yes. I need you to help me even it out,"
He grunts again. "I really don't want to. Can you blame me? Your musi did push me into the fricken alligator pond at the casino this weekend!"
"True, but at least you didn't have to stay with me and the rest of the girls in he hotel room like Randy," I reason.
Over the weekend, we took a trip out of town to the casino, you know, not that I can gamble...legally anyway... But uh, as soon as we got there, all my guys immediatley ditched me and went gamble. Me and the girls decided to stay in and have a GNI, but since Marisol didn't want Randy running off with any strippers, she kept him in the room with us, unsuccesfully making it a GNIWR. And then of course, being the bastards they are, Jojo and Danny snuck off and apparently shoved EK's Kane into the big alligator pond in the lobby.
"Okay, whatever. Can we just hurry up and finish this fic so I can finally go home. I'm not to happy about the fact that your Kane married my Mickie. And then there's the fact that you've tormented me since you and EK swapped Kane's,"
I scoff,"I have not tormented you!"
He glares at me, before yelling," When I was helping you write the Danny/Kane fic, you had Spongebob's Greatest Hits blasting the whole time. You gave your Kane a MicKane story, then told on me to Ek when I punched you in the jaw for it, then because of that, she sent Tristen over to beat me up. You made me help you write three different drafts of that Kane/Danny story, then go back and edit draft one, though you weren't going to use it. Your twinks stole my trunks. And once again, Danny and Jojo shoved me into the alligator pit!"
A pout comes over my face.
"You act as though I have control over my drugged up musi. In case you didn't know, the name of their muse diary is Hostile Takeover! These bastards are hostile, and they takeover wherever they go! But, come on, will you pleease help with this fic? The rest of them are crazy, but Danny's only fifteen and she's a sweetheart! I really need to get these one shots up so I can go on with their series. You don't want to see her cry, do you?"
Kane looks at me as though he's contemplating the idea.
"If Danny cries, Jojo'll get po'd and she'll never let me finish my Kane's MicKane story!"
He stares at me,"And how will this do me any harm?"
"If I casn't finish the MicKane story, then my Kane will probably want to stay at Ek's house...married to YOUR Mickie,"
At that, his eyes bug out and he drags me out of the room, into the hall and back down to my room, where he throws me into my computer chair.
"Finish. That. Story. Now!" He commands me, as if I'm his dog or something. I shoot him a glare before beginning to type madly, as he throws ideas at me faster than I can get them down.
Kane lets out a long, drawn out sigh as he sits back down. Hours of bickering and bodily injuries later, our collaborative efforts have created a fanfiction.
"So what you plan on naming it?" He asks me.
Good piece of goofy the dog, why on earth did he just ask me that? Doesn't he feel that I've done enough thinking for one day?
"I don't know...Oh! You know what helps me come up with titles?" I say, bouncing in my chair. He stares at me nervously, as though he fears the answer...He should.
I smile and pull up itunes. I click on the bestest album ever released to the world. I turn my computer speakers up as loud as they'll go.
"Oh, no. Turn it off. NOW!" He growls. I shoot him a smile as I take a huge breath in, before releasing a glorious, wondrous, passion filled note, to a beatiful song of friendship.
"THE BEST TIME TO WEAR A STRIPED SWEATEEEEEER, IS ALL THE TIIIIIIME! ONE WITH A COLLAR, TURTLE NEEEECK, THAT'S THE KI- SHITTLES!"
My hands fly up to finger the bump starting to form on my forehead from that bastard hitting me with my freaking tapshoe! My eyes start to water as I look up at him, a smug smile on his face, and a pout on mine.
As he sees the word form on my mouth, his smile drops, and he quickly stands up, reaching for me, a worried expression on his face. Too late though, I'm telling!
"EK! He hit me again!"
"AJ, she's lying!"
Kane:Tattle tale!
You're a meanie! But I luuuv you! Which is why Aj's never getting you back! Sooo, how'd you guys like it?
Jojo:I found it boring.
I find you irriatating. So, if you like it, let me know, and remember, please try to read and review the MSOIA Mentors one shots. Oh, and CONTEST! Can somebody please help me pick an entrance theme, gimmick, tag team name, and nick names for Jojo and Danny? I'm really kinda screwy. If I pick your suggestion, you get a story of your choice! Soooo, let's get to it! Special thanks to AJ for her Kane!