All four twinks sat in front of me on the floor. Their eyes were wide as they stared at me pleadingly. It was Evan though who was killing me. The evil notorious leader of my worst set of musi was charming me to my brink with that little pout of his. Honestly, I wanted to punch it straight off his face right about now. The fault in that plan, though, would be the fact that second in command, Kofi would then take over. And Kofi muse, suprisingly has an extremely crude and malicious sense of humor; more so than Evan. That's saying quite a bit.
"Please Mikey?" Evan mumbled in his cutest I'm-a-liar-but-you-should-still-do-whatever-the-hell-I-tell-you-to-because-me-and-my-brothers-are-such-adorable-though-aggravating-little-shits voice.
I rolled my eyes, shrugging.
"I've been trying to work with you four since February and I get the same result each time. I just don't think y'all are ready for a multichap fic."
I'd been considering cutting the idea. No muse, not even Danny or Jojo had ever given me so much trouble with a fic as the twinks. It wasn't even out of opposition to my ideas, either. It's because they're four idiots who fight every two seconds yet somehow still remain best friends.
"We are! I swear, we are, Mikey. Just give us one last chance, please?" Kofi pleaded.
I glare over the lot of them. These four have to be my most dangerous musi. And I know what you're all wondering; how the hell are these sexy, albeit idiotic musi of mine to ever cause any actual harm? Well look here;
Icky was their first, and currently only, fic they had mostly to themselves. And although it wasn't one of my better written fics, it got a lot of likes because of the twinks. Somewhere along the line after that and their usual shenanigans here in the Hostile Takeover, the twinks became more than just my "I'm bored, let's pull out the guys" musi. They became...well I don't know what they became, but for whatever reason, those four idiots attract a lot of heat.
The problem here is that after trying several times at what was supposed to be their multichap, I noticed a trend. That trend, dear reader, is that although they are best friends and have some sort of odd bromance going on, whenever I get them together in a small room and ask them to focus on story ideas, we immediately get a pier six brawl.
"I don't know..." I mumble.
Before the words could properly leave my mouth, the lot of them have dove at my feet and are begging for one last chance.
Allow me to briefly explain something.
As far as I am concerned, the twinks are forever a package deal. You cannot get one without getting at least two others. It's just a simple fact. Another fact; I am small child intolerant. When I'm forced to be patient with one, let alone multiple, whining children, I break out in hives and go into what some might call a small fit of rage. Now, the twinks, to me, are basically a bunch of eight year olds on steroids. I glance at my bedside table.
Hm. It seems I'm out of medication.
"DO YOU IDIOTS WANT ME TO GO POSTAL ON Y'ALL ASS?!" I yell, standing up.
The four of them quiet, staring up at me with wide eyes. I sigh, rolling my eyes.
"Look, you've got one more chance okay?" I negotiate. They all nod briskly, keeping their mouths closed.
"Good."I mutter.
Turning to my laptop, I pull up my files. It's been forever since I last worked on the damn fic, I've forgotten the title; if it even had one.
Not finding any folder relating to the twinks in the least bit, I sigh. Where could I have out it? I only had one page of usable stuff, it shouldn't be that hard to find.
Then my brain clicks. One page of writing; it was probably in my oneshots folder. I go to click on it and see only documents for a few new oneshot ideas I'd had recently. Nothing else. Wut duh hell.
Recent events finally catch up with my mind and I groan aloud.
"You've gotta be fricken kidding me!" I yell, throwing my head back in irritation.
"What's wrong?"Cody asks innocently from his spot on the floor.
"I started your fic before I reposted MSOIA." I snarl.
"And this means that..."He waits for me to continue. I look down at him, seeing only wide, pleading eyes.
"It means that your fic was in my original oneshots folder. The one I deleted." I spat, glaring at my laptop screen.
Right about now, I really hate myself for deleting that folder. I mean, I felt bad when I first did it, just not as bad, because Shannon's a bitch and it was kind of good for him(Somehow though, I found an extra copy of his fic on my Ipod. What a blip). But the twinks; although they didn't always cooperate fully, they really wanted this fic. Now because of me, everything I had on them is gone. Including my original document for Icky.
This feeling though, is shortlived, as all four twinks are up and cussing me out. Well mad love to you too, bros.
"Mikey, how could you?!" Alex shrieked, glaring at me.
"It was an accident, for shit's sake!" I yell back.
"Look! It's not like I had that much on y'all anyway, I'll just restart! And I swear, I'll get this one done in less time than the last. You wanna know why? Because none of you are allowed near me when I write it! Cool? Good, out!" I yell, pushing the lot of them through the door and slamming it roughly behind them.
After a few seconds, I hear them all grumbling as they go downstairs. Well that's one issue solved. Kind of.
"Oh my gosh, they're aggravating as hell." A loud sigh came from behind me.
"Where the hell did you come from?" I ask, unsurprised as I spot Dave spinning around on my desk chair. He shrugged.
"Can't tell you. It would counteract my ninja-ness."
"Your overly grown drug induced size already counteracts your ninja-ness" I shoot back.
"No," Dave shakes his head at me, " It just makes it that much more awesome that I not only manage it, I master it."
With this, he nods his head curtly, flashing that "Everyone's my bitch" smirk.
"Well you obviously haven't mastered it so well as to keep me from deleting files..."I muse, as I pass him and dig around my desk drawers, hoping to find a written copy of the twinks' story.
The revolving chair squeaks as Dave squirms in it.
"That's not my job. I'm simply the muse used to help conjure up the flow for your lustful creativity."
"Well you're not doing a very good job. I still suck at smut. Maybe I should give your job to Alex."
"It's not my fault you're so hopelessly virginal. Replacing this smoldering hunk of sex on perfectly chiseled legs for an amature stripper who never actually gets naked won't make you better at the art of written porn."
0.o..What the hell? I've frozen in position in my search for papers on the twinks. I blink once and slowly look up at Dave. He continues to spin nonchalantly in the chair, as though the words that just spilled from his mouth were never actually exchanged between the two of us.
"I am not hopelessly virginal. You can not play saxophone in high school marching band and be hopelessly virginal." I quip. Hell, by the end of junior high, I could deep throat past the cork of my tenor's neck.
"So are you going to help me with the twinks' fic or not?" I cut back to our original topic. Dave shakes his head.
"What? Why not?" I moan.
"I already told you; It's not my job. Making up for your idiosyncracies is reserved strictly for Barrett, Sheamus, occasionally Orton and most definitely Chris. I am nowhere near prepared enough to try to dig that deep into the shit you spew out."
I should hop on his ass for that last comment. But I don't. And the fact that he'd most likely skewer me with his nine-inch long pinkie finger has absolutely nothing to do with it. My mind wanders to my top team of musi aides; Barrett; my editor, Sheamus and Orton; my two back up team members, and especially, my head muse in writing; Chris.
As I've stated before, the little bastard has been missing for months. As I'm pretty sure you all can tell, updates have been coming even slower. This is because someone, whom I will not name, I will only state initials; RANDY ORTON; is, well...I wouldn't say horrible...but he totally blows. Hard. Like, "I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow what little usable crap Mikey has down," blows.
Right about now though, I can't exactly say I want Chris back. He had always been my go to writing muse. Pissed me the hell off yeah, but I always got things done better when he was there to help me. But the douchebag left me the moment I needed him most. FF had just taken MSOIA down, and although Chris and I had been in the process of rewriting it, it was a major drawback. I had just published Like Mike and was struggling with it a little, seeing as my friends make really awkward fic characters. And since Like Mike isn't going very far at the moment, this means neither is Captive. Then of course, as you all witnessed, I deleted my one shots folder because no one was there to stop me. I guess my point is, it was always evident that my Chris muse was a jackass, I just never thought though, that he could be that big of a jerk to just desert me and the rest of the house when we all really needed him.
I shake it off. Chris has been gone for months. What makes my need for help now any greater than it was in july? Nothing. I don't need him. I'll just have to work on getting Randy to shape up a bit, and Sheamus to make a few more appearances. And maybe somehow get Dave to help me out with fics.
"If you won't help with the twinks' fic, I have another story I'm working on. It's kind of a spinoff of HT. About those weird little odds and ends that never make it in here. Like your mad-" I look up at Dave, only to find the chair empty as it twirls on in small circles. I glance around the room and I'm alone.
"...Ninja skills." I finish.
Okay, well getting Dave's help is out of the question. I sigh. It looks like I have no choice but to go on a field trip now.
I make my way downstairs, beating roughly on each door I pass, earning groans from the musi occupying them.
"I want every muse downstairs, in the kitchen, NOW!" I yell.
I stop by a multi colored door and push it open.
"Danny and Jojo, that includes y'all too. Get moving." I bark. They grumble, but get up and march past me out of their room.
As Jojo breezes by me, I place a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.
"And whatever kind of hell hole you hid Mark in, go get him. Now." I command her. Jojo's eyes widen in shock and fear.
"Are you kidding me?! He's gonna kill me!" She yelled.
"I don't care! Get him. Go!" I say, shoving her along the stairwell. She mumbled something and threw me a nasty look over her shoulder. Whatever. This wouldn't be the first time she's tried to make a home for fire ants in my mattress and it probably won't be the last.
We get downstairs and all... make that 29 of my 30 musi, are gathered in the kitchen, or listening from the living room over the island.
"Aiight. Roll call. Y'all know how it goes; OC's first: Gutierrez kids?"
"Si."
"Right here." Sunny and Serge call out.
"ARid?" No one answers me. I glance up and AJ leans against the counter, staring directly at me as she slurps on my leftover coke icee. My eye twitches involuntarily before I go back to my list.
"The P.A.C.K?"
"POP A CAP!" Danny and Jojo sing out in unison. I stop and glare at them. They only send me slightly suspicious grins in turn.
"Uh, moving on...Twi-" As always, the word has barely left my mouth when a loud crash comes from the living room. Everyone's head snaps to the side to peer through the island blinds and see what's going on. Cody's head appears in the window and he's slightly grimacing.
"Um...Mikey? Alex-"
"I don't want to know." I cut him off. He nods innocently before retreating back into the living room.
"Calling all tag teams!" I begin, " Reytista!"
"Okay, that was not our tag team name." Rey corrects me quickly. I don't take the time to listen and just continue speaking. Rey throws me an irritated glare.
"BoD, get your old crusty asses front and center!"
From the doorway, Glenn raises his hairless brow at me and Taker shoots me a deadly glare. Neither make a move to come any closer.
"Or stay right where you are. I guess that'll work too..." I mumble.
"Where's my original TLC crew at? That includes all of you OMEGA people too!"
"Awesomest team ever, look no further!" Edge called from behind me, Christian not far away.
"Hurricane's in the house!" Shane shouted from the living room.
"Bitch, will you hurry up with this crap already?!" I slam my papers down against my side and cut a sideways glance towards the living room. I've found Shannon...
"I'm missing some Hardy Boyz!" I call out.
"In here!" Matt's voice resonates from the living room.
"Where's Jeff?" I call back. Silence.
"Um... You said you didn't want to know what Alex did, so I think it best that you simply know that Jeff is in here, he's just sleeping..."
"Main eventers, you're up next! Where's my sexy bad boy WWE champion?"
"I didn't know you owned one of those." Punk quipped.
"Why are all the hot ones bitches?" I mumble before continuing down my list.
"Cena?"
"Part of the Alex situation!" Cody called from the living room. Damn. How many people did that little bastard claim as victim? I shake my head.
"Mr. Mizanin?"
"Mrs. Reks?" He calls back, smirking.
"Don't even play with me like that. You know I hate that dude ever since he stole Kaval's spot at Bragging Rights." Mike just barks out a short huff of laughter and shakes his head.
"For the record, I should have won that season of NXT." Alex states, poking his head through the island window before retreating just as quickly.
"Whatever. Background musi that don't do much, help me out here?" I call glancing up. My scarce, but oh so very helpful stalker musi. They ghost around the house but only really appear in random ass situations.
"I've got us all down, Mikey," Zack starts from the kitchen table.
"Me, Big Zeke, Swagger, and Boogey Man, right?" He confirms. I nod and move on.
"Publishing crew?"I call out, "Randy?"
Orton nods at me from across the kitchen as he plays brownie poker with some of the others.
"Barrett?"
"Present and accounted for. Can I leave now?" He asks as though it's just torturing him to be here.
"No. No you may not. Sheamus?"
An arm slings across my chest and a weight bears down on top of my head.
"Oy, me little princess. Right here." He answers in a smooth voice.
I calculate all the voices in my mind.
"Alright. That was 29 musi. That means somebody is missing. Which is basically why I called you all down." I began. I glance across the room.
"We all know Chris has been missing for a couple of months. Now we've been able to coast for a little while, but it's just becoming ridiculous. I need a little more help than what I'm getting, and even though I really don't want to; I need to go find Chris..."
They all stare at me blankly.
"Which means?" Mike starts.
"I'm leaving for a little while-"
The room bursts into loud cries and shrieks for me not to go. Yells for me to stay and proclamations of love, and apologies, and offers to help me out, all bombard me at once. For a second my heart warms, and a few tears come to my eyes as several of my musi come to embrace me.
And then my daydream ends and the fact that they're all cheering hits me and I snarl.
"Screw you all. Like no effing joke." I spit. Sheamus hugs me closer as he laughs.
"You know we're just playing you, lass," Sheamus chuckles.
"No we're not." Jack scoffs. I shoot him a glare.
"Excuse me, but last I checked, you don't do anything, so shut up." I growled at the blonde. He rolled his eyes before quieting.
"Dude, we are so throwing the biggest bash ever." Jojo laughed as she looked between Danny and Sunny.
"It won't even fit in HT, it'll have to have it's own fic!" Zack called out.
"News flash, you idiots! Who do you think is going to write it? I'M LEAVING!" I try to reiterate. Apparently this time it sinks in and they all quiet down.
"That means no party oneshot, no updates, hell; you guys are basically going on the shelf!"
The room is silent as my words fall on their ears. The mood from before suddenly drops. I can hear everyone in the room's breath intake.
"Are you serious? No FF for a while? Nothing?" Randy asks.
I nod. He looks away, sighing.
"For how long?" Punk asks.
"I don't know. However long it takes to find Chris."
"But Mikey-"Danny starts, "That could take months."
I shrug.
"Are you really serious about this?" Jojo asks.
The whole room is staring at me expectantly now. And what am I supposed to tell them? What else is there to say? Not much except for two words:
"Hell no!" I snort.
"WHAT THE HELL, MIKEY!?" Several musi yell out.
"You had me freaking scared to death!" Sunny growled.
"Well next time, don't start partying until after I leave and I won't play y'all for some bitches!" I snap.
"So you're not leaving?" Dave asked.
"Yeah, I'll be leaving. But only for a couple of days. It's not like I haven't been looking out for that bastard for months now. If Chris doesn't want to come home, his stubborn ass won't. But seeing as I'm just as stubborn, I have to at least try."
"Well, the House of Hostile Bitchez wishes you luck in your journey..."Serge starts.
"Thanks, kid-"
"Yeah, now get out so we can start our party!" Mike cut in. They all let out loud cheers and I rolled my eyes.
"No, no, no! No parties! You guys are not going to be left alone to act the fool. No way in hell." I say as I pull out my phone and press number one on speed dial.
The person answers after a few rings.
"Hey, I gotta go for a while. I'm taking Stephen and Wade with me. You think you could watch the rest of these idiots for a few days? Awesome, kay, I'm leaving Randy in charge until you get here. Yeah, sure, they can come over too. Thanks, bye." I hang up and look to Wade and Stephen, sighing. They stare back expectantly.
"You guys ready for an adventure?"
We've seen Lou and Court take over the land of Hostility, who's up next in the Hostile Takeover dictator's sequence? And how will she deal? All this and more on the next episode of Hostile Takeover! Mad luv, night y'all!