I hung up the phone and looked at all of my musi.
"Alright. Headcount, you psychos. Kane and the Jacobs Clan?"
"Here!"
"Calloways!"
Mark smirked at Dani as Corrinne tackled me.
"Oof, okay. Randy and Raile?"
"Hewe Auntie AJ!"
"Cute. Sheamo?"
"Here, luv," he said sadly.
"Chicago Chaingang?"
"Yo!"
"Adrian Colden?"
"Here, doll."
"Carter, Glenn, Asia, Phil, Amy!"
"Here!"
"Hardy Clan!"
"Here, yo!"
Who was I missing? I knew I was missing a few people.
"Jez, Shan, Shane?"
"Here, AJ!"
Damn it. This was starting to irritate me.
"Who am I missing, you guys?"
Jez smirked at me.
"You're missing Wade, Mickie, Snitsky, and Show. Cassidi's dead."
"Oh yeah. Liana and Lucas!"
"Here."
"Roni and Jack!"
"Here!"
"I think that's everyone."
John Cena folded his arms and glared at me.
"What about me, AJ, and Ariana?"
"What about you three?"
"Don't we count?"
"Should you? You guys tore apart my strongest couple."
AJ glared at me.
"No we didn't."
"Whatever. All musi children front and center, please!"
I was bombarded by small children who latched onto me.
"What are we doin, Mama?"
Looking around, I picked up Carter.
"We, my little Spark, are going to Auntie Mikey's."
"Yay!"
All the children cheered and I smirked.
"This'll be fun."
I knocked on the door with a line of children behind me and Randy answered.
"Jesus, did you bring all the offspring?"
"Yeah."
Raile looked up at him sadly.
"Momma gone."
"I'm sorry, little snake. Wanna go play tricks on Uncle Serge?"
"Yeah!"
Sunny came to the door and saw Ember dressed in a pink tutu with purple boots and a bright neon green shirt.
"Emmy, what are you wearing?"
"Auntie Jez gave it to me!"
Sunny's eyes narrowed and she looked at me.
"You let her give Ember clothes?"
"At least they weren't the ripped shirts Shan wanted to give her..."
"Ay dios mio."
"Yeah I know," I said. "But that's my musi for ya, Sun."
Carter peeked out from behind my leg and grinned.
"Hi! I'm Carter!"
Sunny looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Tristen had another kid?"
"No, my dear dear friend. I did."
Immediately I was bombarded by the P.A.C.K., who I hugged happily.
"Danny, Jojo! Damn I missed you guys. Like a lot."
"Well duh," Jojo said with a roll of the eyes. "We're the awesomest people here. Why wouldn't you?"
Ember tackled her and giggled.
"Got you Auntie Jo!"
Danny tilted her head and looked at me.
"Uh, AJ? Who's the shrimp?"
I turned and saw Carter petting Sheamus, Mikey's little pit bull dog.
"My baby girl."
"Who's the daddy?"
I looked back at Danny and gave her a "duh" kinda look.
"Really, Danny? Really?"
"That's my phrase!"
"Zip it, Frogman!"
Wade came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, which was weird enough because he couldn't stand me.
"Hey AJ."
"Hey guy who lost to Team Hell No and Kofi Kingston rather pathetically."
He let me go and I smirked.
"Yeah I thought so. Now back off, Barrett, I'm married."
"To who?"
The snarl from way behind me gave him his answer.
"Barrett."
I turned and grinned.
"Told ya. Now get your stanky, no-good, Nexus-leading ass out my face."
"Owned, biatch," Alex said as he walked up to me with the rest of the twinks.
Raile ran over to Randy and he picked her up.
"Hey, little snake."
"Unca Wandy, I wants mama."
"I know."
Mickie walked out with Kane and I smiled.
"They're cute together."
Carter ran over to them and tackled Kane's legs.
"Daddy!"
Kane looked at me and I facepalmed.
"My little girl. Sorry, man."
"It's fine," he said as he picked her up. "What's your name, little one?"
Carter didn't answer, being too busy glaring at Mickie, who gulped.
"Uh, she doesn't like me."
"Carter?"
"Yes, Mama?"
"Be nice to Mickie."
"But you don't like her either!"
"No, I don't like the Mickie that lives at our house. This is Aunt Mikey's Mickie."
"Oh. Do we like her?"
Mickie looked uncomfortable and I facepalmed again.
"Yes, sweetie. This Mickie is awesome, okay? Go play."
"Okay, Mama."
Ten minutes later, I was sitting in Mikey's kitchen, writing in my notebook.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Working on Jez's fic, Shan."
"Could you do a fic for me?"
"With Thor? Has Mikey still not done that?"
He shook his head and I sighed.
"I guess... Maybe."
"Really?"
"No. Now scram, I gotta work on Jez's fic."
A loud crash got my attention, as did the screaming of four twinks.
"AJ! HELP!"
I groaned. Perfect.
"I ain't paying Mikey for whatever you idiots broke!"
"We didn't do it!"
Asia Brooks ran into the room, giggling.
"Auntie guess what?"
"What?"
"I let out Mr. Undertaker!"
I paled and bolted out to the living room, where indeed, Mark was trying to kill Alex.
"MARK PUT HIM DOWN!"
"He locked me in a trunk!"
"I don't care if he dragged you to a gay bar and forced you to give Hornswoggle a lap dance. You put him down right now," I growled.
All of the musi looked at me, creeped-out looks on their faces.
"That was disgusting, AJ."
I shrugged.
"Whatever works, ya know?"
Mark looked at me, then back at Alex, before closing his eyes and gently setting the twink on the floor.
"Thank you."
"Whatever," he growled before stalking out of the room.
I looked over at Alex, who was pale.
"You alright, A-Ry?"
"I don't know."
Asia looked up at him, then back at Carter.
"Hey Carter, isn't this your boyfriend?"
Carter looked up at Alex, then shook her head.
"No. That's Auntie Mikey's Alex muse. Auntie AJ's Alex is my boyfriend."
"Oh."
Evan ran up to me and shoved something into my hands before taking off again.
"The fuck? Bourne!"
"Hide it!"
I looked down at Mikey's Spongebob cd and an evil idea popped into my head.
"Ember!"
"Yes Auntie AJ?"
Handing her the cd, I smirked.
"Pop this into the stereo and turn it up all the way."
"Okay."
Three, two, one.
The best time to wear a striped sweater, is all the tiiiiiime!
"AJ! TURN IT OFF NOW!"
"Catch me if ya can, Jacobs!"