Gasp! Another chapter? Calm down Duchy, you're getting a bit out of control.
Just kidding, I really couldn't be more nonchalant with updating hahaha. I should really start being responsible. So onto…Whatever chapter is next.
"Nothing, brother. I'm fine."
Of course, Ciel knew better than to believe such lies. The way she was shaking slightly and wouldn't show her eyes, it was an obvious sign she was hiding something from him. Why did she need to hide it? Is it about him? Does she not trust him? The longer she hesitated to tell him what the matter was, the more he would jump to bigger conclusions. This was stupid, how long was he planning to sit here and fuss on about how she doesn't trust him, why does it matter?
He sighs, "Fine then, don't tell me." He stands up -soaking wet from the rain- and puts put his hand to help her up.
Estelle does not take his hand. She stares at the ground, so sore from all that pain she had just experienced, she digs her hands into the mud. She wants to be filthy, she is filthy. She wants to look how she feels inside, so evil and disgusting. The images Sebastian put in her head gave her back the old memories she had, the ones she had blocked from her mind. Those ones about Jasper… What he did to her. She remembers that now. That was all before Luella came along, and Jasper changed. Now Sebastian knows all this too, though he's said nothing about it. Estelle lets a tear fall from her face to her mud-covered, silk, dark green dress. As the one falls, many others decide to follow. Small, soft whimpers fill the empty air.
Estelle remembers so vividly. She was so blind and ignorant before. Her soft whimpers slowly escalate to uncontrollable cries. Sebastian has no idea what to do…He feels completely awkward in this situation. He just looks at that nice tree over there and elbows Ciel to do something or something.
Ciel is hesitant to comfort her, afraid she'll pull away, and afraid she'll cry more. Why is she crying? Is moodiness a side effect of becoming a demon that Ciel never experienced? Most likely. Ciel kneels in front of Estelle
"Sebastian, could you give us a moment?" Ciel asks.
"Could we go back to the manor first, master? The rain won't clear until morning, and you both could get ill." Sebastian says.
"I won't be long." Ciel says back.
Sebastian sighs with a 'can't be helped' look on his face and walks away from the two, but stays close by, just in case.
Estelle doesn't want to talk. She's angry, she feels dirty, but she likes it. She likes that deep filth she's mucked in. She smiles. All she needs now is to be covered in blood. Yeah, that'll make her feel complete. Blood, filth, and tears. She loves it in an evil, wicked way. But who's blood?
Ciel wipes her tears away. "What's wrong?"
"You ruined it." Estelle says. He stole her tears.
Ciel ignores that comment, "Milady. What's wrong?"
Estelle's anger bursts out on him all at once. He stole her tears, if he's just dying to know, then fine. He can know. This is what he's asking for. "Today, I regained my full, complete memory. I remember I was raped when I was four by my foster father, Jasper. I remember Luella neglected me when I was five for two years. I remember all the things I blocked from my memory. I can see it all so vividly. As if it happened an hour ago. I am so sore from all the pain I felt about 20 minutes ago, that was the most pain I have ever felt in my life. I didn't cry then, but I'm crying now. Why is that? I feel so dirty. All this time I thought I was so innocent and my life was perfect… But it never was. Since the moment I was born to the moment I died, nothing has ever been perfect. Everyone I trusted lied and betrayed me. I want to bleed and cry right now. I want to feel that perfect pain. I want to see that gorgeous blood drip down my skin. I want to feel something right now. That's what's wrong, brother."
Ciel was in shock. He had no idea what to say at all. This was far more severe than he had thought. He decides to say nothing; I don't think she really wanted to hear anything right then. He gave her his coat, took her hand, and led her back to the mansion, dead silent. Sebastian saw them leaving and followed close behind.
END OF CHAPTER 9
That was intense guys.