Author's Note: Chapter. Freakin'. Two. I feel like a real writer.

"Hey, what's the matter? You don't look so hot," Tom said from his seat on the couch. He was trying to keep his voice even, but it was so hard when he didn't know quite what was going on. His walk from Sebs' apartment was blurred together in a rush of cool air and concern. Jackie's place wasn't a far walk, not far by Tom's standards anyway, but as he arrived he realized he was out of breath, opting to take the elevator rather than the stairs for once. Avoiding both the stairs and the stares of people who would likely wonder why on Earth he looked so bugged out since they would have not been able to see anything immediately wrong. Tom knew though that something wasn't right. Call it instincts of just being observant; he just couldn't get his nerves to settle.

The ride up had been almost excruciating, and what was worse was the look that she gave him when he arrived. Nervous, almost flighty, unable to look him in the eye and mumbling when she did speak. Something he was not accustomed to seeing on and hearing from someone who usually had the confidence to pull him out of his own reluctance.

"I mean…I know you're sick and everything, so you can't be good, but you called. Are you okay?" the man continued, talking to fill the silence as he stared across the room. So far she'd offered him no more than a weak "hi" and had situated herself as far away from him as possible. He had already worried himself close to the point of sickness, and this wasn't helping his nerves any. What had he done? Why was she so upset? At this point he was certain the tension would kill him.

"I don't know. I mean…shit, I know. I'm not…god, this is just so frustrating…" Jackie replied, standing up from her seat on one of her chairs. Even as she stood she braced herself up against it. "I can't even think straight. I'm sorry. God, I don't even know what I was planning on saying…" Keeping up the momentum she looked like she pushed herself forward and walked right past Tom and down the hall, a door closing behind her leaving Tom on the couch to ponder the empty room.

Tom sat in the silence, a bit dumbstruck and confused. He wanted to get up, but his muscles had tensed up to the point of immobility. Locked up. He couldn't even shift himself to look down the hall or even turn his head. "Jac?" he called, his throat threatening to close up on him. "What's going on?" No response. No anything. Perhaps she wasn't able to understand him through the strangled garble sound of his voice. A sound that could best be described as a whimper escaped him, and he felt his legs twitch and then force him to stand up. His mind had released him but to do what? "Jac, come on…you're scaring me half to death."

Down the hallway and to the door the silence persisted. Tom dug his teeth into his cheeks and took a step forward and then another until he was within reach of the door. He thought to knock, but his arm refused to cooperate. He knew just standing there would be more than useless though.

Pressing his ear to the door, Tom still couldn't hear anything. Tapping it lightly, arm deciding it had been stubborn enough for the time being, he called again. "Jac? Hey, let me in…I'm coming in. I know the door's not locked. You didn't lock it. I didn't hear it click. I'm coming in. You got that?" he rambled, trying to at least annoy a response out of her. More silence. "I'm coming in. Unless you say something…nothing?" Not even so much as the sound of movement. "Ok, you asked for it. I warned you. I'm opening the door…" Tom's heartbeat thudded in his ears, as he moved away from the door. He reached out to open it, his fingers grazing the doorknob but doing nothing to move it. This really shouldn't have been so hard.

And yet it was. Who the fuck invented moments like this? Who'd have them willingly? Tom knew he certainly hadn't and wouldn't. Sighing, he braced himself and turned the knob and pushed, the door moving easily. How anti-climactic. He'd at least expected some kind of struggle, but no, nothing at all. Perhaps that was even worse. He wasn't used to this level of apathy. What made it more anti-climactic was the scene with which he was greeted.

There upon the bed, curled up in a ball was Jackie, looking exhausted and small and childlike. "Hey…" Tom whispered taking a few steps forward and crawling onto the bed and rolling onto his side, shimmying as close to her as he could, almost enveloping her as he pulled his legs up to hers and reached an arm across Jackie's side. "You okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay," Jackie retorted as she balled up tighter, moving away from him. "I'm scared shitless."

"Ah, come on, Jac…you're not afraid of anything," he said, keeping his voice low though anxiousness wove itself deep within his words. What was she talking about? Normally a thought or two would have entered his mind, but his present anxiety was enough to keep them at bay for the time being.

"You'd be surprised," Jackie frowned, hairs one the back of her neck standing up at the feeling of a cold nose and warm breath against her skin. Tom had moved to compensate for her shying away, and his desire to be so close, while she could recognize it as an attempt to be comforting, was not helping in the slightest. He still wanted to be close to her, but would he still want to if he knew?

"I don't think anything surprises me anymore," Tom replied, and Jackie shook her head. Oh, is that what he thought? Maybe it was a good sign.

"Look, I figured out why I'm not feeling well. Why I haven't been feeling well," she began, rolling over but remaining curled up against Tom's torso. He was warm, and it made her feel sleepy. Not like she wasn't already tired enough. "It's really simple, but…it's not I guess, and I want to tell you, but I don't know what you'll do. I don't know what to do, and you know how I hate that."

"You're gonna have to elaborate. I'm not a mind reader."

"I'm trying, okay?" Jackie snapped. Tom made a hurt sound, and she felt suddenly guilty. He didn't know. How could he know if she didn't tell him? It wasn't fair, and she knew it. She looked up at him only feeling guiltier as she saw the concern on his face. "Jeez, I'm sorry," she sighed, reaching over and rubbing his cheek, the normal gesture feeling nice in the context of the situation. "Look, I went the drug store today, you know…looking for something that might make me feel better, and well…I had this idea and bought something that would, you know, potentially answer some questions."

"What…?" Tom's face was devoid of any real understanding. He was paying attention for sure, his attention focused on her, but he could have sworn that nothing was being said to him. All this vagueness was starting to hurt his head. He'd never appreciated getting talked at, but what could he say? She seemed to be trying.

"Alright, for real this time," Jac said, taking a deep breath. It was now or never, and Tom was already confused. Confusion was certainly not the goal here. Clarity. Truth. Truth was the best option, and she knew what it was. She needed to speak slowly and clearly, but she could already feel her words starting to come up fast like they did back in the days of uncomfortable school presentation. "I sort of…boughtapregnancytest, anditcameoutposititiveandIwa slike 'noway' soIdiditagain, andthesamethinghappened, so…IthinkI'mpregnant." She felt her cheeks flush. Oh jeez…that had not gone how she'd wanted to at all.

"Were those even words?" Tom asked, expression proving to still be genuinely concerned and confused. She'd thought that perhaps he'd caught all that; had the smallest hope that she wouldn't have to say it again.

"Sorry, I'll try and go a little slower this time," she sighed.

"I'd like that."

"Okay, so I went to the drug store, and while I was there I bought some pregnancy tests. You know…just because…" Tom's expression became more scrutinizing as he put meaning to words, like he had it right on the tip of his brain, but he wanted to be sure first. And that look wasn't making this any easier. "So, I took the test, and it turned out positive…twice."

Tom's scrutiny turned to blankness, and Jackie felt her heart sink as he pushed himself up into a sit, palms flat, face turned down and away. The wheels turned in his head for an eternity, but he said nothing. Nausea of a different kind tickled Jac's stomach, and she felt a lot colder without him there. This was what she hadn't wanted. At least if he'd speak she could understand it, but she couldn't interpret the silence.

"So…you're…" he managed to force out, still not looking up.

"It would seem so," the woman nodded, sitting up as well.

"I see…"

"Tom…" He didn't look up, didn't even flinch, so she did. "Tom, can we talk about this? Please? That's why I called. I don't know what to do, and I thought maybe if I told you…"

"That I'd know what to do?" Tom said, picking up his head suddenly. "Fuck, how should I know?"

"I don't know, but…"

"But nothing," the man interrupted. "Look, I gotta go. I can't talk. Maybe some other time. I just can't talk right now." Tom was on his feet and by the door in a flash, making no attempt to hide the fact that he was avoiding eye contact. "Maybe some other time, yeah?"

"Wait a minute. Tom-" The door closed behind him with a deafening crack-thud sound, and his quickened footsteps down the hall causing Jackie to feel herself wilt until she was lying on the bed again, laying in the silence until after the front door closed and there was no one else to confide in but herself. Just nausea and cold and loneliness. It didn't happen right away, but she felt a pain in her chest that didn't go away, and she clenched her eyes shut to stop the burning.

Tom's hands were shaking as he walked out the door, down the hall, and practically flew down the stairs, abundance of thoughts making his mind buzz from all the static. November wind greeted him as he stepped outside and blew away his thoughts as his legs carried him back to Sebs' apartment without his consent. He didn't see the other people, and he could have sworn he'd gone deaf. Not even his own mind wanted to break the silence. Back inside the building, up the stairs, down the hall, and in through the door, plopping himself back down on the couch immediately and staring at the TV screen.

"A 'hello' would have been nice," Sebs, who apparently was still on the couch from before, Tom hadn't noticed, said.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Hello," Tom replied quickly at the first sound he'd heard stole away the silence. A knee jerk reaction in verbal form. Sebs furrowed his brow and gave his friend's profile a glare.

"Tom, look at me." Obediently Tom did just that, face slack save for his jaw that ground his teeth against one another. "What the hell happened?"

"Happened? What do you mean?"

"You know damn well what I mean, Tom. Jackie called. What'd she have to tell you?" Tom wrinkled his nose and looked away. Sebs knew something was up, but he'd be damned if he let what had passed out. "Something happened didn't it?" Insistent wasn't he?

"Nothing happened."

"Bullshit."

"Drop it, man," Tom insisted as he focused his attention back on the screen. "So, zombies…what'd I miss?"

"Nothing."

"Well, obviously something had to have happened. That guy looks like he's in fucking shock. People don't look like they're in shock for no good reason."

"Exactly."

Tom eyed Sebs warily, but his jaw clenched. He snorted, his nostrils flaring, and Sebs believed for half a second that Tom was going to bite him. "My life's not a zombie movie, Sebs," Tom growled. "Now, can you please just tell me what happened? Is this even the same movie? It doesn't look like the same movie."

"Maybe I'd tell you what's going on if you'd do the same for me," Sebs countered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Come on. What could I possibly do?"

Tom hunched his shoulders and rested his chin on his palm as he leaned forward in his seat. "I don't know. That's why I don't want to say anything."

"That's stupid."

"I know, but I don't care. You might get weirded out. That a better reason?"

"I'm your friend, remember? There's very little you could do that'd weird me out at this point."

"Point taken, but this thing is just…so fucking weird."

"What thing?"

Tom pressed his lips together and groaned. Well, now he had to tell him. He'd admitted to a "thing". Score one point for Sebs' need to know "things". He'd never hear the end of it now if he didn't either tell the truth or think up a good lie quickly.

"Alright, well, you know that thing that people do?"

"Oh, most definitely, Sir Vague-a-Lot."

"Your choices at the moment are getting an explanation or a fist to the face," Tom threatened, and Sebs knew better than to assume he was joking. Tom felt a bit guilty though. He'd gotten irritated at Jackie for being just as vague, and now he was doing the same thing. Still, Sebs was sporting for a smack upside the head with that comment. Nothing would convince Tom otherwise.

"Okay, okay…go on."

"So, Jac's not been feeling too good, and well…man…how do I put this…tiny human."

Sebs pondered for a moment before replying. "A midget?"

"What? No. Why the hell? Never mind…I don't want to know." Tom shook his and continued. "I mean the other kind of tiny human. She kinda sorta…told me about it, and so…that's what happened."

Sebs sat up and stared as he listened, taking little time to figure out what was being said to him. "Wait…you mean like a kid?" he asked though his tone showed that he already knew the answer. Tom nodded. "Jeez, what'd you say to that? I mean…I guess that's not too unexpected, but…what'd you say?"

"I…" Tom began, rubbing his head and fixating on the TV once more. "I…"

"What?"

"I didn't say anything. I just said that I had to go. I left. Sebs, I left."

"You did what?" Sebs asked, sounding disappointed. "Tom…"

"I left! I couldn't handle it so I left. I fucking almost pissed myself, and I ran away. How the fuck do you think I got here?" Tom interrupted, throwing his arms up into the air before bringing them back down onto his head, palms over his ears and fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp. "Get it now?"

"Yeah, I got it," Sebs frowned, looking more than his fair share of disappointed. "Tom, that was a real shit thing to do." Tom didn't answer him. He was busying himself with digging his toes into the floor and drumming his fingers against his head, doing his best to not hear his friend's words and the disapproving tone. "You should get your ass off this couch, and figure that out," Sebs continued, voice firm, almost like a parent scolding a child. "You know you should."

"I can't…" Tom tried to explain. "It's not like there's anything I could say…do…"

"You could grow yourself a pair of balls," Sebs offered still looking less than impressed.

"That's my problem," Tom replied, scrunching up his face and squeezing out a laugh. "Hell, I was half convinced I couldn't even do that."

"Guess you proved yourself wrong."

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

"It could be worse," Sebs shrugged.

"Don't think so," Tom said. "I'm fairly certain that I've created a demon from hell," he continued. "The fucking Anti-Christ…oh man…this is not good."

"That's not very nice, and you're making excuses."

"Are they working?"

"No. Get off my couch."

Tom picked up his head and stared at the TV, then Sebs, then the floor, and then back at the screen. Blood, guts, and zombie moans…

"Okay…" Tom nodded. "I'll go. Yeah…I'll go."

Sebs may or may not have said something, but even if he had Tom's mind was already trying to sort itself out, possibly find an impossible solution to all this. Back out into the cold again. Off to face something that he'd never imagined. If ever he felt the need to pray to the mighty "whoknowswhat" in the sky he felt this was it. Looking up he stepped to the side as a person brushed past him. Busy, busy, busy…and unaware. Unaware of the thing he was passing.

Staring up at the gray sky, Tom hoped it wasn't as empty as it looked.

The rest of the walk was quiet, the sky darkening as Tom dragged his feet. It took twice the time it usually would, and Tom wondered if he should bother trying at all. It was late. It was cold. She probably didn't want to see him. She was probably mad at him and with good reason. Still, Sebs had been right, and Tom knew he was right.

That only made him feel worse.

He managed to shut off his mind until he was at the door to Jackie's apartment. Perhaps an empty mind was the best thing for this. His ability to think was proving itself unreliable. He went for the handle, but to his surprise it was locked. The door was never locked, and his heart sank. Had she not expected him to come back? He had a key of course, but it was the principle of the thing.

She'd locked him out, and on purpose too. He knew he certainly hadn't done it. Did he dare open the door?

"Jac?" he called, knocking softly on the door feeling the uncomfortable force of déjà vu. "Jac…hey, I'm back. Could you let me in? Please?" He knocked again. Harder. "I'm sorry, okay? I messed up. Gimme another shot. Open the door. I thought about it some more…hello?"

"Why should I give you another chance?" came the woman's voice from behind the door. Tom had heard her angry before, but this wasn't just sharp teeth. There was poison in it, and his hand fell away before he pressed it flat against the door, leaning his forehead against the smooth surface.

"Because I'm stupid, and you know that. I fucked up. I didn't mean to. Please let me in. Jackie…say something, please. Jac, are you even listening to me?" Tom could hear nothing, and out of the corner of his eye he could see a few people in the hall staring at him. Focusing forward he knocked again. "Come on…you want to talk? I'll talk. Don't ignore me. Dammit, please don't fucking ignore me…" Tom hated how his voice started to sound like a whine, but he found it harder and harder to maintain his composure, or what he'd had of it.

He couldn't even hear movement on the other end. Just like before. Fucking before. She was just standing there, staring at the door knowing full well he was out there, and she refused to do anything about it. He was absolutely sure of it. She had the choice to let him in, and she had chosen not to. Tom felt something in his mind slip out from under him, and his knees slowly gave up on supporting him as he slowly slid down into a sit, knees drawn up close to him and the side of his head up against the door.

And of course those fuckers down the hall were still staring.

"Jackie," he forced through the barbed wire in his throat. "I know you're listening…well, maybe you're not, but you can hear me. I know that. I don't care that everyone's looking at me funny. I just want you to let me in. I did a really shitty thing. Let me in. I'm sorry, Jac. I'm really fucking sorry, okay?"

Nothing, nothing, nothing…click, the sound of a lock being turned back. Tom picked up his head and moved away from the door, awkwardly crouched on all fours as Jackie opened the door, looking down on him like he was some dead animal a cat had dragged in. He smiled weakly, trying to look endearing. Well, as endearing as his face got.

"What was that you said?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"That I'm sorry," Tom repeated, looking and sounding over eager. "That I'm stupid and an asshole."

"Good," Jackie replied, quickly and sharply before closing the door hard, the sound causing Tom to stumble and land on his rump as it almost caught his nose. Righting himself, Tom stood up and went to the door, cautiously grabbing the handle and turning it, this time it was unlocked, but he couldn't smile.

"Hey…" he greeted softly, spotting Jackie sitting cross-legged on the couch. She didn't even turn to look at him. He went to sit on the couch as well, but the woman shot him a glare, and he opted to plant himself on the floor in front of it instead. He had every intention of keeping himself intact. "So...you want to talk?" he asked, feeling weird as he looked up at her like he was some child. "I want to talk now, but if you don't want to talk I guess that's okay too…"

"You're really sorry?" Jackie asked, training her eyes down upon him.

"You know I am…"

"Why'd you leave? You really that much of a scaredy cat?"

"Guess so…but I came back didn't I?"

"Yeah, I suppose you did."

"I don't really react well to surprises..."

"I know you don't."

Tom leaned forward, resting his palms on the carpet. His tongue felt dry and heavy in his mouth, but he couldn't ask for water. He knew he'd just use it to push what he wanted to, had to, ask farther and farther away. "So, you're…" the word sloshed around in his head a little bit longer before he finally managed to say it aloud. "Pregnant." God, what a weird sounding word it was. Emphasis never sounded right, and it was clunky. What a god-awfully appropriate word.

"Yep," the woman nodded, her tone markedly removed from the moment.

"Mine?"

"Well, I'm not the fucking virgin Mary."

"So…that's a yes?"

"Yes."

"That's…cool. Didn't think I could do that."

"Surprise," Jackie said, rolling her eyes.

Tom made a face, but kept the comment that went with it to himself. Slowly he shifted so that his arms rested on the couch. Baby steps. "You know what happened?" Jackie shot him a look. "That's not what I mean," the man clarified, lifting himself onto the couch, but giving the woman her space. "I mean, weren't you on the pill or something?"

"Yeah," Jackie shrugged. "But sometimes it fails, which kinda sucks, but it's whatever, I guess…weird how the symptoms of birth control are a lot like the symptoms of pregnancy. How weird is that? You'd think that'd screw up so many people." Jackie's voice grew more and more agitated as she spoke, hugging her arms to her sides and holding her arms tightly so that her knuckles were almost white. "Or maybe I'm just stupid. I think I'm just stupid. I should have figured…what's the percentage again? I mean…it's not a perfect hundred for a reason right?"

"Please, just shut up," Tom said shaking his head and grabbing Jackie's arm. She tried to pull away, but Tom pulled her over to him, a bit roughly, but that was just how he did things, and wrapped his arms around her so that her back was to his chest. Jackie stiffened for a moment or two, not enjoying the immediate feeling of being held captive, but relaxed as she felt him rest his head at the base of her neck. A cold nose and warm breath…it was almost comforting.

"Thanks…" she said gently.

"You okay?" Tom asked.

"Of course I'm not okay," she replied though softer than she had before when he'd asked.

"I don't think I'm okay either," he admitted. "What're we gonna do?"

"That's a good question…"

The pair sat in silence, contemplating and trying to distract themselves at the same time. Neither knew quite what to say, what to do. A kid…both figured they should have discussed something like this ahead of time, but as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty.

"Well," Jac began, deciding that the silence had persisted long enough. "I personally make it a point not to have sex with anyone I'd be opposed to having a kid with, but that's just a me thing. Kind of a prude aren't I?"

"Nah, seems reasonable, and I think I can safely say you're far from a prude," Tom shrugged, even offering a smile. "And I mean…I like kids and all, but I just…I'd kinda given up hopes on any of my own. You know…there'd be a real risk involved…"

"What do you mean?" the woman asked, turning her face to look Tom in the eye.

"Well, I mean…not a physical risk or something like that. Hell, I'm strong as a fucking bull." Jackie bit her lip, but her laugh refused to be held back. "Oh hush…"

"Sorry, go on."

"I'm just afraid that…that the kid will be like me."

"That wouldn't be so bad," Jackie replied. "I know haw to deal with you."

"Yeah, but I can't deal with me."

"Kid might end up like me or like neither of us."

"That could be interesting," Tom nodded before moving to rest his chin on Jackie's head.

"It could, and well…I really…don't want to get rid of it. You know…I mean…you know, like that…" Jac said, leaning back more. "Maybe that's just a me thing too? Because I mean…if that's what it comes to…" Tom remained silent though he knew the statement had been a veiled question in his direction. "I mean…you're not opposed to that are ya?" Still, he said nothing. "We could always give it to someone else…" Jackie offered lightly.

"No," Tom finally responded, shaking his head. "I did this…I'm taking responsibility for it. Like…like a fucking adult."

"You sure? I mean, I can't really say that I had no part in this."

"Sure? I'm not sure of anything. Definitely not right now…"

"Me either." Jackie paused, allowing her mind to entertain thoughts. She knew better than to assume what most would. White picket fences, pies baking, dog in the non-existent yard…no, that was foolish to assume. This situation was highly atypical, and yet she couldn't care about that aspect of it. Typical was so boring. Of course it was also predictable. But hadn't she promised never to be predictable? And what about Tom? He seemed to have made up his mind, and goodness knew when he made up his mind he was damn hard to convince otherwise.

"You think we can handle this, Jac?" Tom asked suddenly. "I always wanted kids when I was younger. Maybe this isn't so bad?"

"I guess we'll have to, and it could be far worse," Jackie replied. However, as she said it she realized that she really wasn't too bothered. Maybe they could do this, and if they couldn't…to hell with that thought. There were far more inept people in the world. They could do this. They were going to try. "You scared?" she asked, practically hearing Tom having thoughts.

"I'm terrified," he began, his own mind whirling around with possibilities. "But I'm kinda…I know this might sound weird, but…I'm kinda excited. I guess it'd more be anxious really."

"Same, but at least we can be terrified and anxious together. It's better than nothing."

Tom let his arms relax, having them rest limply on Jackie's legs. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and he was certain his ears were bright red. As weird and as stressful as this was there was still something weirdly enticing and interesting about it. This was a problem he'd never thought he'd encounter, but as he sat there his mind traveled back to his twenty-something ponderings on a family. On kids, on happiness, on people waiting for him when he got home, on normalcy…He'd since quite convinced himself that such things weren't meant for him, but maybe, just maybe, this was some way of having his own twisted version of normal.

Just maybe…

"Yeah, better. There's two of us for one thing," Tom agreed. "We're in for a whole lotta shit aren't we?"

"The most shit you've ever seen."

"Fantastic."