Chapter 11

The following evening, CC had already tried and discarded three different combinations of clothing. The pieces littered the floor of her closet, and she tripped over a wadded-up blouse as she moved to the shelves in the back, desperate for something that her mother wouldn't criticize. Everything felt too tight over her belly, and she glanced down, annoyed. She wasn't showing yet, so why didn't her clothes fit? Damn it.

"Niles!" She yelled.

He came out of the bathroom, patting on aftershave, a towel wrapped around his waist. "You bellowed?"

She grimaced at him. "I have nothing to wear. Your baby is making all my clothes too tight."

He eyed her middle. "But you're not showing at all."

CC looked at him in disbelief. "What, no comparisons to a cow?"

"I value my life too much for that," he said with a lopsided grin. He reached for the suit he kept in her closet, but before he could take it off the hanger, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I want you to bring all your things over here," she murmured into his ear.

"You're going to give up half your closet?" He teased, deflecting the request.

"No," she scoffed, "I'm going to have one built for you. And we need a nursery, too. I'm calling my contractor first thing in the morning."

He turned to face her. "You've given this some thought."

"You know I own the apartment next door. I expanded the master suite last year, but there's still a fair amount of unused space."

"I don't think Mr. Sheffield would approve of me leaving permanently," Niles said.

"You weren't planning to stay with me once the baby is born?" CC asked, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice.

Niles sighed. "I don't know, CC. You don't want to get married; I'm not sure where I stand with you."

"You're not sure where you stand?" She repeated coldly, withdrawing from him. "You practically live here now, just without most of your things. I'm tired of you carrying an overnight bag back and forth."

"But you won't marry me."

She exhaled angrily and turned away from him. "I thought we discussed this."

"We did, but as it turns out, I'm not satisfied with the resolution," he said. "I want to marry you."

"But you know why I feel the way I do. We practically are married. Better than married."

"Without that commitment, I fear it will be too easy to dissolve. One good fight, Babcock, and you can kick me out and then where do we stand?"

"Do you doubt for a second that I could kick you out whether we're married or not? My father has attorneys whose livelihoods depend on his divorces; I'm sure he'd be happy to loan me their services," she said snidely.

"I don't doubt it," he said, his expression grave. He straightened his back and dressed quickly.

"What do you want, Niles?" She asked quietly, flipping through a rack of blouses without seeing them. "Some sort of formal agreement? I can have one drawn up, with provisions for custody and for, I don't know, financial support for you if we split up. Would that satisfy you?"

"I don't want your money. And why," he said bitterly, "is that easier than marrying me? Am I so repugnant to you?"

"For Christ's sake, you know you're not. You know what marriage means to me, and why I don't want it. Why are you keeping on with this?" Frustrated, she moved out of the closet and paced across the thick carpeting in the bedroom.

Niles followed her and sat on the edge of the bed. As he watched her, he considered her words.

"I guess it's because this started out so irregularly. We were expecting a baby nearly before we began a relationship. I am," he swallowed. "So much older than you, and we come from different worlds. I guess I want a guarantee that you won't leave me if a handsome, young, wealthy man comes along."

CC stopped pacing and turned to regard him sadly. "A wedding won't guarantee anything," she said. "It won't guarantee me that your health will improve. It won't guarantee me that you won't choose Maxwell and Nanny Fine and those children over me and our baby."

Niles flinched. "I would never—"

"And neither would I," she interrupted emphatically. "Neither would I," she repeated more calmly. "I—I meant what I said, before you had the heart cath. I don't say those words lightly or often."

He nodded. "I know you don't."

"And I don't care that you're a few years older than I am. I don't care that you aren't wealthy. Do you know how much money I have? More than I can spend on all the renovations I could ever do, that's for damn sure." As she spoke, she moved closer to him, and finally sat beside him on the bed.

He reached for her hand. "I'm just old-fashioned enough to want to do this properly," he said to her.

"What if we—" She paused to gather her thoughts. "What if we exchanged rings in private?"

He glanced over at her. "Without a formal ceremony?"

"Damn it, I'm trying to compromise, here. That's something else I don't do often, if you haven't noticed."

He laughed. "And people can assume what they want?"

"Fine by me," she nodded, and leaned over to rest her head against Niles's, trailing her hand up and down his thigh in a movement meant to both comfort and arouse.

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted their reconciliation, and CC shoved Niles towards the bedroom door. "Trust my mother to have the worst possible timing. Are we okay?" She asked him before he stepped into the hallway.

"We are," he said, and came back and kissed her soundly before going to let in their visitor.

CC heard Niles's low voice in the living room as she walked back into her closet. She pulled one of her roomier skirts off its hanger and stepped into it. Thankfully it zipped, though only just. Topping it with a blouse she hadn't worn in years, she then slipped into heels and sighed. She was sure her mother wouldn't be satisfied with her clothing choices, but at the moment, she couldn't work up much concern about that.

She glanced quickly in the mirror and opened the bedroom door, a fake smile ready. "Moth—," she began, but stopped awkwardly when she saw the woman with whom Niles was speaking. "Helen, hello."