Duality

All he'd ever been good at was fighting; it's what he was engineered to do. With his too-strong body and too-fast reflexes, mixed with his split personality, every day was a battle waiting to happen. Allelujah didn't want to fight, but he wasn't the kind of person who could turn the other way when they saw evil. And evil was abundant, even in the colonies. Hallelujah wasn't the kind of person to just roll over and die. So obviously, if Alle couldn't turn a blind eye and Halle wouldn't take a hit lying down, then the only option was to fight.

But he didn't want to fight. God knows he didn't want to fight. He truly hated conflict, war, the system that caused people like him to be created, be needed.

But we're here, aren't we? Here, in an organization that's gearing up to pretty much declare war on the world. Picking a fight with every living soul. And you can't say that doesn't excite you. You know damn well it does, to think of the rush while your hand is on that trigger, a person's entire fate depending on your finger, whether it will squeeze that trigger and-

"That's not why I'm here." Allelujah cut off in a desperate gasp. He hadn't even noticed his labored breathing that started sometime during Hallelujah's little rant. He sat in the lonely cockpit of his gundam, slightly reeling after his first simulation battle. He was just relieved that this wasn't a joint practice, because the results were pitiful. The battlefield, the noises, the faces on the monitor...they felt too real, too alive, making Allelujah unable to fire more than half the time. Coward, that's all you are. A coward. Do you realize what would've happened...Hallelujah droned on as they boy sat staring into the darkness. He couldn't see anything. It was becoming oppressive. Too much so.

Allelujah nothing short of burst out of his cockpit, slightly gasping in the filtered oxygen of the docking bay. Nothing, he hadn't been able to do anything in the simulation. How did he expect himself to be any better during the real thing? ...I mean seriously, are you trying to get yourself killed? Fuck if I'm going to just let you do whatever the hell you want. I swear, next time I'm taking over your damn body and making it useful...If Hallelujah would just stop his tirade for just one second, maybe Alle could form a coherent thought. Damn him for always being such a foul force as ever. This isn't what he needed right now. He didn't want to hear all the ways Halle would've disposed of their targets. He didn't want to hear about the blood, the screams, the explosions. He needed him to just stop (I mean just imagine that color-), just be quiet (It would be nothing short of mind blowing, trust me-), just...

"Will you shut up!" Allelujah screamed, panting slightly, releasing all his frustration in that desperate cry. Needless to say, Halle was shocked into silence just as much as the speaker was.

"That's not...that's not why I'm here.." He said, this time with more conviction. He wasn't here to start a war with the world. He was declaring a war on war. He was justified in this organization, justified in his mission. Justified to kill 'innocents' as you call them? Hallelujah's dark question faded into nothing, signaling his retreat. Allelujah let out a groan. He stiffened as he heard a forced cough from behind.

"Uh, hey there, I don't mean to intrude, or uh...hey, is everything alright?" Lockon's clearly hesitant voice from behind made Allelujah's eyes widen in horror. How long had he been there? He turned around slowly to face the other man. Yep, he'd been there far too long.

"A-uh-ye-I'm alright gotta go okay bye." Allelujah rushed out in a single breath, quickly sidestepping the man, who thankfully didn't try to stop him.

"Okay then...see ya at dinner." He heard Lockon throw out those casual words as he stepped into the hallway and quickly headed to his room. Behind closed doors, he slid down a wall weakly, battle resuming in his mind once more.

Lockon watched with mild interest as Allelujah scurried away, face red as a tomato. Poor kid must've been really embarrassed, what with being caught...fighting...with himself? He still wasn't quite sure what he had seen. He shrugged and almost continued on his way, but Neil won out this time, instead opting to stare out the wide window that occupied the other half of the hallway. Lockon indulged him this much, having earlier won out in choking the urge to chase the boy down and ask what had happened. Staring out into space, the man let out a sigh, catching his reflected eyes in the glass. As he stared into the mirrored green orbs, he really didn't know who it was: Neil...or Lockon?

The fact that he was wondering this at all closed the case, deciding it had to be Neil. Lockon didn't trouble himself with such trivial matters. It was kind of funny, Neil thought, how he managed to be two people at once. It wasn't as serious as a split personality (he never actually talked or argued with Lockon), but it also wasn't just the simple 'putting up a front' like some would think. It was a strange phenomenon, because truly, Neil and Lockon were very different people, housed within the same body.

Lockon was everything Neil could never be, and everything he needed to be.

Lockon Stratos was calm and collected; he looked on with never more than mild interest, but also made sure to never let others feel he didn't care. If something didn't need to be known, he didn't care to know. But he was kind; yes, Lockon Stratos was undeniably kind and gentle when dealing with others. He would sit and listen, with the occasional 'I understand' and comforting pat on the back, but never anymore, never any questions. It was that very quality that seemed to attract his crewmates even more.

Sometimes Neil would wonder, while watching Lockon console a drunk Sumeragi or cheer up a downcast Lichty, how the crew would act if he was the one walking around? Neil could be just as cheery, just as funny, just as comforting as Lockon. He was sure he could. The stars he gazed at now seemed to blink in encouragement. He'd lived without Lockon for the majority of his life. Lived as Neil Dylandy, joined Celestial Being as Neil Dylandy, was recruited as a gundam meister as Neil Dylandy...

But you also lost your family as Neil Dylandy. Lost your family. Cultivated hatred. Formed a thirst for vengeance. Most importantly, you missed the target. You couldn't do this as Neil Dylandy.

Lockon was right. He always was. And that's why he continued to exist. And he would continue to exist, until Neil was finally right...or until Lockon was Neil.

He chuckled a little as his thoughts wandered into which name would win out in the end.

A blur of violet in the slightly reflective window caught Neil mid-thought. Tieria. If he focused, he could make out the boy's transparent reflection before him. He fixated on it, amused the way stars twinkled in his hair, on his face; his strikingly serene face. It was actually quite beautiful.

Lockon scoffed internally at the thought and made an effort to turn around and casually greet his teammate. Neil wasn't budging. Not today. He stood his ground, eyes never leaving the reflected figure, who surprisingly also stood still, staring in his general direction.

What was he thinking? Neil so desperately wanted to know. Tieria's mind was truly an enigma, something completely foreign to him. From day one, he'd been absolutely fascinated with the kid. He knew it probably sounded weird, but there was something about the boy that drove him insane. Since they'd first met, when Neil had (understandably) mistaken him for a girl, he noticed there was something off about the kid. Something painfully different. He'd dealt with difficult people before, cold, bitter, pompous people; but Tieria wasn't anything like those. Neil was almost certain that if left to his own devices, Tieria would never show...scratch that, would never feel another sincere emotion. And it drove him crazy, to the point of even bothering Lockon. As much as the man never wanted to pry into people's business or personal lives, Neil's desire was so strong, even Lockon had to bother the kid.

At least when Lockon spoke, Tieria got angry. Annoyed. Negative emotion was better than none at all, right? But there'd been a few times Tieria had surprised the older man: when the boy would look at him with nothing but pure confusion in his garnet eyes, it took everything in Lockon to stop Neil from crying in relief.

Only now, staring at the delicate boy enveloped in stars did Neil get it.

He was space. Exactly like space. Cold, dark, suffocating. But no, not quite, something was missing...oh. I see.

He blinked and smiled sadly.

Stars. He's space without the stars. Oppressive and deep. Without the light and warmth, the only things that can change it from something alien to something heavenly.

Satisfied, Neil closed his eyes and let out a quiet sigh.

Lockon turned around to meet the boy with a startled look before smiling.

"Well hey there partner.."

Tieria wandered through the halls of Ptolemy aimlessly. That in itself was disconcerting, considering Tieria never did something that had no purpose. And yet, there he was, turning right, turning left, drifting along with no real destination in mind. He just, he needed to think. Okay, that was a lie, seeing as he wasn't doing much of it as he paused and sighed in an empty corridor. In all honesty, Tieria had been avoiding the whole "thinking" thing recently, never quite pleased with the places his mind wandered, with the things it began questioning.

But sometimes, one needed to suck it up and just deal with it. So that's exactly what he did.

Moving once more, Tieria let his mind replay the data he just received from Veda. He had watched a recording of Allelujah's first simulation, one that was supposed to be a "warm up" and "off the record". Nothing was ever "off the record" where Tieria was concerned. Although right now, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing, because his "all knowing self" was now pretty conflicted.

Allelujah's simulation was, putting it extremely lightly, just plain bad. Tieria still wasn't quite sure about what had happened, from the general reluctance to do anything requiring a trigger early on, to the strange arguments, to the not being able to let go of the trigger towards the end. Not to mention that chilling laughter...Tieria shuddered even now just thinking about it. He saw all of it, knew all of this, but couldn't do a damn thing about it. Veda itself had chosen Allelujah Haptism as a gundam meister. Veda chose him, from the masses of candidates, and who was Tieria to doubt Veda? But he also couldn't just let it go, as if nothing ever happened. As if he didn't know the new meister had the potential of going haywire and mercilessly targeting both enemies and allies alike at the flip of a switch.

And then he stopped. He stopped because he remembered.

Nadleeh.

Everything seemed to just click after that. No one else but Ian Vashti and Sumeragi Lee Noriega knew about Nadleeh, the hidden half of Tieria's Virtue. No one else needed to know. It was his trump card, his ace should something like that simulation ever become reality. Only he was entrusted with the ability to stop Gundams. With that, his mind felt cleared, and when the time indicated that he had somewhere to be, Tieria swiftly went on his way. Sumeragi had made it clear to him earlier that day that she had business with the meister at exactly 18:00, and he was never late.

Arriving in record time, Tieria didn't dwell anymore on petty thoughts. Until he drifted in on a certain Lockon Stratos. The man was standing still as a statue, gazing out a window, and Tieria noted that he seemed not to even notice his presence. For some reason, he didn't make a move to catch his attention either. Tieria just stood there, watching Lockon watch the stars. And then it hit him, like a punch to the gut, wrenching his insides. Lockon Stratos was also a meister, was also incredibly human, was also a threat. He'd almost forgotten that one day, long ago, when the look in the older's bright eyes sent a chilling fear through him. He remembered it again now and fought back a shiver. Lockon Stratos was just as human, just as unpredictable as Allelujah Haptism, regardless of how obvious or not, that fact remained.

Tieria's eyes narrowed slightly as Lockon finally noticed the younger man and turned to greet him.

"Well hey there partner..." Lockon flashed his signature grin and began crossing the hall to stand by Tieria. The latter never took his eyes off him, scrutinizing his every move, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. Before Lockon could start his meaningless blabber, Tieria uttered the first thing that came to mind.

"I don't like you."

The weight of those words hung in the air, the magnitude of unspoken implications clashing in the space between both men. The phrase wasn't unheard of: Tieria had made it clear countless times his distaste for the sharp shooter. However, this time the case was made in the form of a revelation, and Lockon's mind raced just as fast as Tieria's, a tense silence building as emotions were made clear.

Tieria's garnet eyes burned with the intensity of vices hidden in virtue. They screamed calibers higher than even his most enraged fits. Lockon watched intently as hatred, anger, and even fear swam in their depths, but what caught Neil was a buried desperation, hopefulness and yearning. The younger was looking for something, something unbeknownst to them both. Neil kept looking, praying the answer would be found; Lockon, for once, helped him.

The younger stared into Lockon's eyes, aware of every movement, every quiver, every slight dilation. He was so human, with how easily his heart was displayed in hues of blue-green. Tieria controlled himself, face never moving, body still, but with all his composure, not even he could deny the raging storm within. He didn't understand. None of it made sense. He'd never felt this way before. You never had to feel before. But even so, he was better than this, better than them. Then why were you made like them? But even so...

Finally, Lockon sighed, breaking the atmosphere with a sad smile.

"You don't have to like me. You only have to trust me."

And everything stopped. Garnet eyes widened in shock. Aqua eyes closed in satisfaction. Question unknown were answered with words unspoken. And everything stopped.

Until something broke and started again.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything...but Sumeragi said to be here...and I just...I can leave..." Allelujah's hesitant voice crept from a distance. The two heads snapped in opposite directions, Lockon's to flash the flustered boy an easy grin, Tieria's to face away with a 'hmph'. The thick air dissolved just as suddenly.

"You don't have to go, Allelujah!" Lockon chortled, beckoning him over. He cautiously approached, conscious of Tieria's deadly aura.

"Oh, well, it just looked like I was interrupting or somethi-"

"There was nothing to interrupt." Tieria cut him off shortly, quickly wrapping up any discussion on the topic. Lockon rolled his eyes and shrugged, carefree attitude back in full force. The three waited in relative silence for Sumeragi to arrive and get on with whatever she needed them for.

Sumeragi proceeded casually down the hallway, bound for the docking bay. All three meisters should already be waiting for her and she smiled slightly at the thought. After an unexpected, but not unwelcome chat with Wang Lui Mei, she definitely had some surprises she couldn't wait to reveal. One of which followed her silently through the corridors. She paused outside of the docking bay doors, turning around to face her silent companion. Sumeragi smiled gently at the young boy before ushering him forward.

"Ready to meet your fellow meisters, Setsuna?"

He looked up at the woman briefly with vacant eyes before nodding curtly. He stepped forward, ready to meet his destiny.

A/N: At last, an update! Oh. My. Sweetbabyjesusinheaven. Ya'll don't understand my struggles in writing this chapter. I was having issues, like intense issues, as to how to best convey my meanings. Lieeeeeeeek, I don't even know what I wrote. Yeah. I'm sorry. I SWEAR TO YOU, THERE ARE NO SHIPS. NOR WILL THERE BE ANY. DO NOT HOPE. DO NOT THINK I AM LYING. BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH. (not even I believe me at this point...but no, seriously, there really aren't ships...)

Oh, okay, yeah, someone asked last chapter why I had changed everyone's ages and stuff. Well, in the anime, Lockon is supposed to be 24 and Alle 19. This fic takes place 3 years before that time, so yeah they're younger. So they would've started as 16 and 21...but b/w the time of the formation of the crew up until getting Alle, almost a year has passed, so yeah, they would be 17 and 22. -3-

Yeah, well, hope this was somewhat cohesive and entertaining...I guess...and look forward to updates within the next few weeks? College is kicking my sorry butt so we'll see. But yeah, only 4 chapters left. Almost there~!