Chapter 3

Bobby was in the other room while he grabbed Dean a laptop tossing it back at him. Dean thought that he could at least look up something to keep the time going. He typed in a search engine Angels. Pictures of cartoonist's drawings of bald guys in sheets with white puffy wings, then some of famous paintings all seemed so unrealistic of what Dean has seen. He typed in a name instead. Castiel. A few unfamiliar faces popped up. He went to search for links that read Cassiel. No, not him. Other than that there wasn't anything on Cas.

Profile Castiel Collins. Dean snorted to himself. "Really? A dating site." He clicked on it, it was him. Except, cleaner. Though anyone would dress better for a photo. He urgently looked through the site's profile. "Age, 28 blah blah blah. Interested in...woman and men. Oh, what do we have here? Photos." Dean scrolled down and clicked on the link. He was just like him, except more...human. One of the photos he had a button up purple dress shirt, except the tie was undone and his chest was exposed a bit from the top. His face didn't look as rough; he was just as beautiful.

Dean watched Bobby walk into the kitchen where Dean was eyeballing the lap top. He adjusted himself for his jeans were becoming tight on him. "I'm going out, be back in a few hours. A friend of mine needs a fix on their radiator." Dean didn't look away from the picture instead he just nodded his head and took the laptop into his bedroom.

He never really thought of needing to masturbate, but he couldn't take it. He hopped up on the bed setting the laptop with him unbuttoning his jeans reaching down onto his length under his pants. He looked over at the picture feeling a warm sensation and slowly gripped at the shaft pulling it out to start. He adjusted himself on the bed using his other hand to pull his jeans down and gripped the blanket tight.

He shut his eyes imagining Cas. What he would look like underneath that coat even if he didn't want to take it off just him on Dean. All over him. Dean found himself lightly touching the head slowly making his way back down to the shaft and back up to the tip. He let out a grunt of pleasure keeping his eyes and mind focused on Cas. "Dean." Dean opened his eyes looking around the room. The door was locked and he was completely sure he had heard Cas say his name. He didn't want to stop so he continued on. Castiel's lips on his must be so full so soft- he heard the door opened that lead outside.

Dammit Bobby. Dean pulled his pants back up redoing the belt and rushing to the door. The door was wide open with no one there. He laughed to himself hoping that he was asleep and Cas would come any minute to tell him something followed him home. Dean walked outside the house, looked over hoping to see Cas in the passenger seat of the Impala waiting for Dean to get information from Bobby to go kill some Norse God or something. Cas wasn't there and he won't ever be there.

"Wait.." Dean jumped back inside slamming the door behind him going back into his room grabbing the laptop off the bed urgently to find exactly where this other Cas is. Sure he may be nothing like Cas, but what did Dean have to lose. To be turned down? He wouldn't give up so easily. "Stop Dean." Dean looked up, again. Nothing. Yet it was him again. Dean wanted to ignore it and instead looked for his location. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. "You…you have to be kidding me. No freakin way." There's no number on his profile though a phone book or even Bobby could know who he is. Anyone could know, he could ask around town just like any other case he had. He twisted himself to lay on his stomach to look at more about him. "Loves traveling, food and nature. Ha yeah yeah nice guy." Dean shut the laptop setting it to the thought of what it would be like have Cas and him eating burgers together or some other romantic garbage. Really he wasn't sure what he wanted.

He moved onto the pillow looking up at the ceiling until his lids fell heavy and blackness surrounded him.

"Cas? Cas!" Dean walked down the hardly lit street shouting. The air was near freezing, his breath formed a cloud puffing out while he passed under the only street lamp for the next 14 blocks. Dean tensed up from the cold folding his arms and regretting he didn't have a heavier jacket or at least more layers. Dean stopped to look up to the starless sky. There weren't any clouds or a moon. He knew it then

"Dammit, don't tell me I am dreaming." For the first time Dean actually had realized it was a dream for his advantage. A hand fell over his shoulder making Dean jump before he had realized it was Cas who didn't know personal space.

"Dean we need to talk." Castiel was bleeding, he was holding his stomach and unmatched patterns of scratches bled throughout his face.

"What the hell, Cas I need you to tell me something. Is this a dream."

Cas' expression softened. "Yes. It's the only way for me to talk to you, but this isn't safe."

"What the hell do you mean this isn't safe? We're in my head Cas like we've been this whole time."

Cas lowered his head, clenching under his ribs harder grunting to speak "th-this isn't the right-you have to go. Live, find something and just, go. Dean. Go. These are dreams, treat them like it. I can't help you out there."

"Go where, Cas? I don't have anywhere to go. You know that. If I could stay here I would, but you're telling me this is all just a bunch of bull I made up in my head? Why not just put me in a monkey suit and throw me into a cage? This, this! Is hell to me! I have to wake up into this other life where none of this even exists. You know how that makes me feel? Having to leave you?"

"Dean."

"When I am awake I know that even if it's a different version of Cas that isn't heaven's bitch. That it's someone I can know they would be there when I wake up in the morning."

"Are you saying you'd be intimate with another human and expect me to reflect something of what you are so certain should happen?"

Dean smirked at him "Why not Cas? Why not. Seeing all you give me is crap and disappear all the time. Hell you left like you needed to tell me something and I haven't seen you sense!"

"You saw me." "You don't know what I saw I don't even know what I saw."

Cas' eyes looked deep into Dean. Both of the pure blue pools looked back frustrated at him. Dean's voice softened, "somehow having a connection with two places, it's almost like a different world out there. I start hearing you, seeing you."

"Dean I had to check on your current status-" "You were spying on me? How in the hell are you able to do that?"

"Ever think I am trying to go see you outside of this Dean. This is not of my power or control of what I can or cannot do withheld in your head or out."

"But it's not in my head is it?"

Cas didn't speak. Dean took a step forward. "It's not in my head? Then what is it? I just get dropped into other places like it's all ok for it to happen? Is it Gabriel?"

Cas looked over to the deserted building trying to avoid eye contact. "So it is. He drops me into another life on your orders?""Heavens. Orders. God's will." "You and I both know that's just crap."

"This is not in my hands Dean." "My whole life Cas, I just been living one lie or another? I ever get to choose?"

"You don't."

Dean backed up from him "Cas, I am done. I am just done. If you can make it so I just start dreaming of fishing again that would be great." Cas gave him one more long gaze, almost as if his entire expression read

I'm so sorry.

Dean shot awake, looking over at the open screen window. He was freezing having to get up and close it. Moved back into the bed smothering himself with the blankets. He had just realized what happened, but he didn't want to believe it. He will look for that Castiel, better him than assface. He chuckled to himself, "assbutt."

Hope you like it so far, thank you so much for continuing on reading it ^^ 3

Expect much to come. This is only the beginning my loves~