Crisis Conundrum

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. Red Witch owns the Misfits!

Chapter 3: Hell Unleashed!

Satana grinned and flicked a strand of her red hair back,

"Hey, stud. Miss me?"

Leon grew visibly nervous, which only fueled Persiana's rage. The cat-woman got in front and snarled,

"Back off, bimbo! He's mine!"

Leon rubbed the bridge of his nose,

"Oh, this is just what I need. This headache to come back and bite me."

Satana quipped seductively,

"Wish, and it shall be granted."

Farrah hissed,
"If anyone's going to be biting my boyfriend, it's me!"

Cyclops tried to get a word in, but the red-eyed young man shook his head,

"Don't even think about it."

Just then, Gambit appeared,

"You're never going to believe what I found out."

He then looked around,
"What's going on?"

Logan said gruffly,

"We're just trying to figure that out ourselves."

Nightcrawler explained,

"Zhose two are from SHIELD and vere going to take Multiple away, but the two agents that already did veren't SHIELD agents, but agents for AIM, and they want to rescue Jaime, but the red-head is a half-demon who wants to be impregnated by zhat man, and his girlfriend von't let her near him."

Rogue looked at her adopted brother,
"Ah'm surprised you could follow all that."

Gambit nodded,

"So, just the usual, right?"

Iceman added,

"And, for what it's worth, the feline hates Ms. Marvel with a passion. Something about her trying to steal her boyfriend."

Gambit nodded,

"So, that explains the ripped doll, right?"

Just then, Satana and Persiana collided and a cat-fight erupted. Iceman asked,

"So, are we going to be breaking them up or what?"

Leon shook his head,

"Let them fight. It's more dangerous to get involved than not to. Take my word for it."

Shadowcat folded her arms,

"Well, we can't let them destroy the town!"

Scott looked around,
"I don't know how this can possibly get any worse than it already is."

Just then, a voice roared over Bayville,
"CRISIS!"
Leon swallowed at that,
"Oh, crap. He's here."

Satana and Persiana stopped their cat-fight and the red-head groaned,
"Oh, great. My brother is here."

Nightcrawler blinked,

"You have a brother?"

A man suddenly appeared over them, with a yellow flowing cape, and a pentagram on his chest. He held a pitchfork-like weapon in his hand and his eyes burned with hellfire magic. He yelled out,
"Crisis, you have attempted to defile my sister, and, for that, you shall pay with your life! So says Hellstorm!"

Then, whatever spell he had used to float stopped working and he fell to the ground unceremoniously. Leon rolled his eyes,

"Are you going to start this again? I told you; I have no interest in your sister!"

Satana said,

"You're only saying that because you haven't got the chance to know me."

Farrah snarled,

"And he's not going to, either!"

The were-lioness then delivered a surprisingly impossible kick from her position and slammed it into her rival's face, knocking her flat to the ground. Satana took a moment to absorb what just happened and, turned around, her face becoming warped and demonic-looking,

"PREPARE TO PAY FOR DOING THAT, HAIRBALL!"
She surrounded herself with hellfire, which caused Persiana to become wide-eyed in fear. Crisis got in front of her and ordered,

"Satana, knock it off, now!"

The demoness snarled and returned to a more human form,

"You're lucky I like you so much, or I'd rip your soul from your body."

She then brushed her red-hair back and grinned at Nightcrawler,

"Oh, my. What do we have here?"

She sauntered to the teleporter and grinned widely,

"Hey, there, handsome. My name's Satana."

Logan blinked,

"That was quick."

Hellstorm shouted,
"Satana, you can't possibly be serious! You have to learn how to control yourself!"

Satana whined,

"But, Damion! I can't help if I'm half-demon! Besides, don't you get all ga-ga and glassy-eyed every time Hellcat visits us?"

At this, the sorcerer brother blushed red with embarrassment. Leon could not help but quip,

"Say, did you two ever get married?"

The sorcerer shouted,
"That's not for you to know! Patsy and I…Patsy and I…"

He tried to think of something to say, but failed to. Instead, he grabbed Satana and teleported away with her. Farrah stood up and went near her boyfriend, curling her arms around him.

There was a moment of silence before Cyclops asked,

"So, Gambit, tell us what you found out?"

Gambit said,

"Easy. I followed that plane and, guess what? It never left Bayville. These weird guys in yellow suits were waiting on the edge of town where the plane landed and they took Jaime inside a tool shed. I think there's a base around here full of those yellow guys."

Cyclops asked,

"And, how exactly did you follow them? Wait, did you steal a car to follow them?"

The Cajun thief shook his head,

"Give me some credit. I most certainly did not steal car to follow them."

Tabitha quipped,

"Yeah, the roads haven't been rebuilt yet."

Remy nodded,

"Right, so I stole a motorcycle."

Farrah added,

"Then, you ditched it, right?"

Remy nodded again,

"Yeah. Oh, and if the cops are asking, I was with you when it all happened."

Cyclops said,
"So, you stole a bike to follow Jaime and now, found him in a tool shed that you're pretty sure is cover for the AIM base."

Leon folded his arms,

"Now do you believe me?"

Next Chapter:

The X-men and Crisis launch a rescue mission! Insanity and wackiness is bound to ensue! Stay tuned, fellow readers!