Sorry for extremely slow update! If you don't see any usual updates, you can check my profile. I tend to write a note there. It was my first writer's block that prevented me from updating early this time. Sorry guys.

Thanks to chukaliteluvver, EverlastingMemories and Woollytavern00 for your reviews, and all the followers and favourites the story gained~~~

Arthur had not spoken after he woke up and Alfred was definitely not used to the quiet surroundings. He was after all an extremely loud nation and was used to Arthur's frequent complains of him. He willed with all his might that Arthur would even make a noise or even insult him. It didn't matter what it was as long as he could return back to the normal situation before this week.

Yet all these were real. Arthur had tried to commit suicide and now had a mortal body. He had actually prepared a note for this, probably had planned it long ago. Alfred didn't know the grumpy male had actually been depressed. It probably was because of that revolutionary war long ago, and guilt gnawed on Alfred's conscience.

That note… The words written on the note, had it been a proof that it was Alfred's fault despite the plain sentence? Had that simple letters hid a deeper meaning behind it? Or was it as simple as it looked and Alfred merely made it complicated. He didn't want his former guardian to think everything was his fault. He had a vague idea that Arthur thinks that he had raised him wrongly but the truth is that Alfred had grown up, and wanted to prove to Arthur that he was capable of making him proud.

He didn't plan for this. He didn't sign up for this. He didn't wage a war just for his former guardian to turn out like this. Alfred sunk into his deep thoughts and decided to cool his head off outside the room. Perhaps he would be able to think better like that. With that single thought, he walked out the large bedroom.

Arthur didn't feel like talking or anything. In fact, he wished he could have remained invisible like Canada. Why had they come to his house? Surely Francis knew about him going to wake up? His face had an expected look, as if he knew this beforehand. Would it be that the frog had also known about the one year limit of a mortal body? He didn't want anyone to notice anything wrong; this meant his façade had been revealed. He didn't deserve any of this attention. He was disgusting, hopeless beyond means, useless…

Stop! He knew these thoughts were unhealthy, he wanted to quit. Yet at the same time he couldn't bring himself to stop, he wanted to continue to self-deprecate himself. It was like being addicted to it, the pain that he managed to inflict himself mentally was…

Arthur shook his head again. It was rather impossible to get rid of these. It was like someone else implanted these into his brain and nothing else. He could hear the other nations downstairs. Matthew and Francis were explaining to the others about his condition.

The nations were rather loud in Arthur's opinion. He could clearly hear what they were saying from his bed. Some were genuinely shocked, some feigned concern and some laughed and said he deserved this. Yes, he deserved this and nothing else. In fact, this was the easy way out.

Yes, he definitely deserved this. Arthur looked around the room and saw a tie hanging on his clothes hanger. This would do it. He silently pushed the fragile wooden step-stool and tied a noose that hung from the ceiling. Saying his last prayers, he placed it over his neck and kicked away the stool.

Crash. The old stool broke into pieces as it fell onto the floor. All was silent again.

The soft shattering noise startled Alfred's thoughts and he sprung up from his sitting position on the floor and his large hands turned the door knob and rushed into the room. The scene he saw stunned him temporarily.

Arthur's body was hanging and swinging limply. He could see his lips were slightly turning blue and he went into immediate action. There wasn't any sharp object in sight so he rummaged through the older man's drawers. Most drawers were just clothes or paper works but he found a particular locked drawer. Trying his luck, Alfred drew out his gun and shot the bolt.

He then opened it and found some sharp penknives, diaries and even some toys from Alfred's childhood. He took out a penknife and ran across the room to Arthur's position. With a clean slice, Arthur fell motionless into Alfred's strong arms.

Alfred worriedly placed his hand to check for Arthur's breathing and pulse. Both were weak but it was still there. He breathed out a sigh of relief, but his hands still held onto Arthur protectively. He looked up when he saw the nations running to the room and Francis gave a meaningful glance towards Alfred.

'Is he alright?'

Alfred nodded stiffly, only unwrapping his arms reluctantly when Canada tugged Arthur away from him to place him on the bed. There were still some red markings on his neck and the nations that said he deserved it looked away guiltily. They didn't think it would be that serious.

Francis could only glare at them angrily, but he decided to not say anything about it.

Arthur woke up to the dim golden light. He was surprised that his surrounding wasn't pure white, as most theory of heaven would be. Maybe he didn't even deserved to be in heaven at all, and this was merely a delusion of hell. He had killed many people in wars after all. People who had families and friends back home. He had more blood on his hands than he could remember.

He turned around and saw Alfred, his relaxed form sinking into the antique armchair. Almost immediately, his previous ideas were erased. The last time he checked, Alfred was still alive and well. Unless Alfred is also…? The thought itself scared Arthur and he pushed himself to prop against the headboard.

The pain that filled his sore throat made him unconsciously groaned. Alfred, being a light sleeper, woke up immediately and looked around warily before remembering what happened. He sped to Arthur and eased him back down to the bed and tucked Arthur in.

Reaching out to touch Alfred, he felt that the lad was warm and very real. He immediately relaxed and felt the adrenaline rush gone, leaving harsh breathing from his throat. Remembering his earlier stunt, he looked away from worried Alfred, wondering why his ex-colony had saved him.

He should have just left him to die.

Alfred for once seemingly attained the ability to read the situation. He pulled Arthur into his arms and embraced the smaller man. Arthur stiffened at first but then relaxed, his tears rolling down his cheek without him knowing.

"Iggy… It's fine… Shhh…"

Arthur used to comfort the younger him when thunder storm came, and now, it is time for Alfred to do the same for his brother.