*RE-BETA'D AS OF 06.02.16*

Chapter 8

Where would I be,
If this were to go under?
That's a risk I'd take,
I'm froze by desire
As if a choice I'd make - 'Islands' ~ The XX

"How's the new assistant?" Jessica asked, eyes not leaving her screen as Harvey sauntered into her office.

"Fine," He grumbled, his eyes sweeping out past Jessica to her rather more optionable view of the city.

"Fine?" She enquired. "That bad, huh?" She remarked then, in her usual inquisitive tone, lifting her head to raise an eyebrow at him when he still didn't answer.

"No just...fine. Does the job," He replied, shrugging, seeming unusually bored in her presence.

"No 'Donna' then, I imagine?" She asked, waiting to see his reaction.

"No. No Donna. So...you wanted to see me?" He said, changing the subject.

"Take a seat." She gestured to the sofa, walking to join him and perching on the end. Lately he'd taken to a quieter demeanour. Not sad, just quiet, reflective, taking in everything and questioning most things without really sharing the fact.

"You know what I'm going to say? She offered.

"Actually... no." He smirked.

"Harvey, you're ready."

She let the weight of the words settle on his face, the slight twitch of his mouth as he worked it out, the minutest furrowing of his brow. After a minute he seemed to gauge the situation, straightening his jacket against his slightly twisted posture.

"You don't seem that enthused for someone who's been demanding it ever since...you got here?"

"I'm...thank you, Jessica." He nodded, his face levelling out.

Her eyes roamed his for a second; that glint in her eye twinkling to match a knowing smile as her arms crossed over herself. She glided to the window, taking in the evening skyline.

"Harvey, I just offered you Managing Partner on a silver platter and that's it? You've wanted this since the moment you came back from the DA's office. What's the deal? ...Wait, let me guess..." She laughed, something slightly condescending in her tone as she too put the pieces together. "You feel like it's not a win without Donna being here." She guessed.

"It's as much hers as it is mine." He said simply.

She acknowledged the fact, nodding before inhaling a breath, seating her herself at her desk.

"You realise of course, that as Managing Partner you get to call at least some of the shots?" She said; a hint of play on her lips.

They would always come to blows. They were a very dynamic team, but Harvey would always have his moments and she worked the good with the bad same as he levelled her out on more than one occasion. She also smelled the bullshit a mile off, and dug out his secrets like they were truffles.

"I meant it when I said I wanted to work with you on everything." He insisted, unsure of where the conversation was heading, but betting his top dollar that it wasn't any place good.

"What I mean is, you don't have conduct yourself with the same kind of ...control, as you did before. No one is going to call you anything as long as you are a strong and capable leader."

"Jessica I," He spluttered a little, posture hardening.

"Do I need to spell it out for you? Look, I know...about the two of you. I know that she was the one to say that it would hurt your career back then. She was right, by the way. It would have. But, that doesn't apply now." She said, laying the bait. "So, think about it."

A moment of time stood between them as they said nothing, Jessica watching Harvey take in all the information at once.

He could be such a guy sometimes...

"I will." He said finally, trying not to look taken aback and settling for a reserved interest as he rose from the seat, starting to make his way to the door.

"Oh… and Harvey?" She said, catching him at the door.

"Yes?"

"Congratulations. I'll make it official on Monday." She smiled warmly.

'A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A kiss
A cry
Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment of love' - 'Sweet Disposition' ~ The Temper Trap

Since working with Harvey, Rachel had gotten a glimpse into the world which Donna orbited; a strange and private world full of known truths and the protection of a unit within the firm's walls. A family created within a family; something which intrigued her endlessly. However, the fact that she'd gone five years without ever perforating that bubble continued to puzzle her. On one side she had a very good friend, who up until recently had worked within square footage of her every day; and on the other side a young man, with whom she'd shared an intimately romantic connection with, and yet, she had had no link or one-to-one acknowledgment with the person in the middle: Harvey Specter.

That is, until recently.

Now she had discovered things about him first hand, just in their small conversations so far; 1: He listened to Donna i.e. about why she and Donna were friends, the qualities and traits that Donna must have found valuable in a person such as herself, and 2: He trusted Mike; letting him take focus on cases, allowing him to take the reins in court, and lastly 3: Like Donna had once said; 'he closes not only situations, but people'. He understands their intent, their witticisms and their weaknesses. He saw straight through her Dad, and insisted on his love for her in a time where she couldn't have plotted her relationship with her father on a map of the future.

However, through all of that constant wisdom, with Donna:

He'd failed not once
Not twice,
But at least three times to her knowledge and maybe counting.

This puzzled her even more.

Here was this man who could tap into each individual and establish a way around them and yet the one person he couldn't work out he was the closest with. And if he couldn't figure it all out, then in her mind, it was time to be told how.

And if there was one thing she knew, it was that Harvey respected people being honest, forthright and frank, even if he didn't want to hear it.

She knocked on the glass frame, waiting for him to look up.

"What's up?" He offered, his usually cool reply laced with sharp corners and something pensive in his features.

He must have been having a bad day...

"Do you have a minute?" She asked.

"No. Shoot." He offered graciously, his eyes gradually leaving the computer in front of him. The quiet attention Harvey gave her was not lost on her. He respected Donna's closest friends. It was hard in this matter to overturn everything she'd found out from her friend and just genuinely like the man in front of her.

"Uh, Okay," She took a breath, sitting down on one of the leather seats in front of him, trying to look poised but feeling overwhelmed at the scrutiny. "Firstly, congratulations on making Managing Partner; Mike told me. Pearson Specter...that's...WOW."

"Thanks, but you didn't come here to say that, did you?" He offered, giving her an entertained look.

"No I didn't," She nodded, looking about the room to gain a momentum against his famous glare. "Look, It's not my place but-"

"But you're going to say it anyway." He finished for her.

She could tell he wasn't going to make it easy for her; so she dove in and hoped for the best, taking a long deep breath first.

"Okay. Look, if you don't...love Donna, then you have to let her go."

She felt a flight in her stomach as his eyes found level with hers again. But something deeper than her gut instinct made her continue. She looked at the ceiling like she was reciting third grade math. "The situation with Zoe hurts because she's certain you and Zoe would have... you know, still been something if she hadn't left. And I'm trying not to pry, but you need to say something to her, at least...to explain…even if it is true."

For a moment he didn't say anything, but pushed away from his desk a bit, leaning back in his chair letting his eyes trail to the skyline.

"You're a good friend, Rachel." He observed.

"She's done the same for me," She countered, looking at him carefully.

"With Mike," He reaffirmed.

It suddenly dawned on her just how intimate their little four-person world had been, and how she'd missed out on the awful dread that came with kind-of friends knowing friend's business.

"Yeah, of course," She said, cringing. "You probably know everything about that!" A nervously dry laugh escaped her before a seriousness fell on her once more. "I just...she's not as strong as she seems. And I never realised that until..."

"..until she left. Me neither." He said quietly, eyes losing hers for a moment.

"Okay. Well uh, thanks for hearing me out," She floundered for a second, before getting up and straightening her skirt enough to walk quietly out, ignoring the goose-pimples forming.

"Rachel?" She turned as his deep voice caught her nearly at the door.

"Yes?" She asked, her face expectant.

"How is she?" He asked delicately, holding the question on his lips.

"She...I think she...wishes that nothing had changed; however much she needed it to." She answered. "But, she's Donna..."

She supposed that the turning up of his mouth was an almost smile of recognition.

The woman left an impression on everyone.

And a mark on this man.

'Nothing's gonna change my love for you
I wanna spend my life with you
So we make love on the grass under the moon
No one can tell, damned if I do
Forever journeys on golden avenues
I drift in your eyes since I love you
I got that beat in my veins for only rule
Love is to share, mine is for you' ~ 'La Ritournelle' ~ Sebastian Tellier

The 11th time … she knew the day would come; him turning up at her door. He was always a creature of habit, and often stubborn to her strongest demands; but it was inevitable. From all of the things Donna had learnt in her life, she knew without a doubt the kind of people that she and Harvey were. They were nothing if not bull-headed, but with the years they had known each other neither would throw their friendship away. And so she hoped to be friends, to be something akin to what they had been if they couldn't be anything more. She also expected them to get it all wrong again. She just didn't expect any of it to happen at 10am on a Sunday.

Hearing the knock, she opened the door and there he was. No suit, no flowers, just a pair of jeans a slightly unbuttoned shirt looking unusually casual.

"Hey," He said, rocking a little on his heels.

"Hey," She replied, a slight awkward tone lacing the letters together.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yeah sure, why not," She said, the dry tone escaping her.

She side-stepped just enough to let him through before shutting the door and removing the towel from her head, rubbing the moisture out of her hair. "Want some tea?" She offered.

"Sure, why not." He replied, looking just as out of place in her apartment as the garish Christmas gift Mike had gotten her.

"How's work?" He asked.

"I've not started yet," She reminded him.

"Feldman & Klein... their...not"

"Harvey," She warned, rolling her eyes at his immediate de-heading of a rival firm. It was such a 'Harvey' response to the situation. "How is the firm?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Pearson-Specter...I uh...I made Managing Partner." He said, his hands twitching limply with a gesture.

"Yeah I know." She nodded, containing her smile.

She was still proud of him and it hurt a little that she hadn't been there for it.

"Rachel?" He asked, not waiting for her nod but rather making up his own mind on just how she was still in the loop after weeks away.

"So, a bigger office for you then?" She asked.

"Yeah," He said, "You'd like it. Lots of room…for my… balls,"

"Well, you must have more of them, by now." She joined in the banter and was thankful for the lifting of the mood.

"Yeah," He shoved his hands in his pockets. "We miss you,"

"Harvey," She warned a second time,

"I miss you." He pressed, advancing on her.

"I miss you too Harvey, but you know what? I'm actually ok-" The rest of the words were lost against his lips. She hadn't had the time to register his actions, striding over to her to gently capture her lips in his, one hand guiding her chin and the other clutching at the cotton-fabric of her lower back. The kiss deepened, sucking at her top lip causing her to immediately reciprocate, moaning as her hand pulled his waist to hers, the other snaking around his collar, finding the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention. For a moment all that she felt was his breath, hot and wet, and the heady need taking them to a place she wasn't even sure she wanted to go again.

"Wait, stop, I can't do this again!" She said suddenly, catching a breath and swallowing, the taste of him still on her; the smell of him even making her a little dazed. "You just expect me to open the door, and you kiss me and then what?" She asked, a little wild eyed, her wet hair sticking to her head with an abruptness.

"No, actually, I expected for you to open the door, and let me tell you what I came to tell you, but then, I saw you, and the plan, "

"You had a plan?" She managed, her face falling into a smile.

"The plan, just kind of...went away. God, you're infuriating." He said, regarding her almost interruptions.

"You made Ray drive half an hour to tell me I'm infuriating?" She countered.

"No, I came to tell you... that I'm...sorry."

For a second they were sizing each other up like predators ready for a match.

Playful. And on the knife edge of sarcastic.

Their backs at the ready; features sharpened even through the haze that kissing had made.

"For what?" She challenged him, arms folding against herself giving little protection.

"You're not making this easy on me, are you?" He smiled.

"You've had nearly 10 years of easy, Harvey. Sweat it out." She remarked heavily, not giving him the rope.

"I'm sorry about Zoe. I did have feelings for her...but the fact is...we weren't on the same page and I accepted that when she left. I wasn't waiting here holding a torch all this time; which is why when she came to see me, the other night, I told her that I was kind of seeing someone, or at least I thought I was...at the time,"

"So she...doesn't know...?"

"No, she guessed, I didn't have to say. But you walking into my condo looking like sex kind of sealed the answer in her head." He raised an eyebrow, the emphasis in his face.

"I'm not apologising for who I am," She remarked, although the conviction lacked as her features settled into a guarded smile.

"I know and I don't want you too. Look...I thought you had... put the idea of us behind you. And I'm sorry that you've had to deal with my personal life when it wasn't your job and I'm sorry that I made you think that I didn't care about you. If I had known before… Donna I care about you, in ways that I don't even understand, but Mike is all too willing to tell me,"

"He's a smart kid," She added.

"Donna?" He asked, a tiredness growing on his face that was held back by a softness.

"Sorry, continue," She said, blushing.

"So. I want to take you out, just us, just...you and me. Avoiding... 'The Sex'. It seems to be where we're getting it very right but afterwards...not so much… Now, I want to get to know you. I don't know everything about you, which for nearly ten years seems...wrong."

"We'll that's because we've been focusing on you for nearly ten years." She offered with a wry smirk.

"Donna,"

"Sorry. Continue," Her lip quirked, and she remained silent but couldn't help but measure the little shiver between her ribcage.

"I wanna see where this," He gestured between them, "Leads."

"…Okay," She suddenly felt very small as he closed the distance, their faces now inches apart.

"And then, after we decide what is going on, however long that takes...then I want to ask you back to the firm."

"Harvey, doesn't the first idea kind of conflict with the second?" She asked, frowning against the awareness of his mouth and his eyes and-

"I'm a Managing Partner now. It's my choice. And I want the best. And you're the best…" He told her. "Besides,"

He made a reach for her, hands on either side of her waist pulling her towards him.

"What?" She asked, his breath drawing a slight shiver down her cheeks.

"It's our home. And I have missed you, every day. And from today, I don't wanna miss you for more than a lunch."

She swallowed, taken aback for as long as a woman of her calibre could be taken aback.

"Wow...I never pegged you for a needy boyfriend," She remarked then, as her hands slid onto his shoulders.

"Shut up." He said, his nose bumping against hers.

The Epilogue is COMING -

Such a big thanks to everyone who's reviewed. It's been hard finishing something; I'm a moments kind of girl but it's been loads of fun.