"Leo, no eulogies."
This sounded bitter again to me, not just that she doesn't want to hear his name, but she doesn't want to hear anything good said about him. I don't imagine they fell out before he left, I just that everything she wishes she'd said is rotting her inside out. I also thought it was a nice contrast. At the start of the previous episode she was singing Leo's praises...but she wont hear anything good said about Harry!
You were sick of it. Absolutely sick and tired of it.
Every day. Every single day until his departure had been filled with numerous visits, head of departments, Detective Chief Inspectors, students, all coming with newly prepared speeches to wish their beloved Doctor a fond farewell.
And they all had their little piece to say – which you and Leo were obliged to listen to and applaud – about how diligent, and kind and funny and understanding and intelligent and witty - and any other flattering adjectives they could come up with – Harry Cunningham was.
You despised it. Loathed it. And you would attempt to sneak out when you could. You were never sure if he noticed. He had asked if something was wrong one day, you had answered by suggesting perhaps you should leave a memory book at the door for people to queue up and sign.
The daily eulogies had torn you in two, however.
Part of you wanted to stand up in the middle of one of those shallow, overly-dramatic speeches and yell out at the top of your lungs that their very much adored soon-to-be professor was in fact a prize arsehole. He wasn't the magnanimous, intelligent, role model of a man that they all made him out to be, but in fact a selfish, lying bastard coward who wasn't simply moving onward and upwards to make something of himself, but running away because he was too scared to face up to his own feelings. What kind of man is it that puts his career before his life?
All these people came in and out and praise him to high heavens. And none of them gave Leo a second look. Leo. Kind and caring and funny and gentle Leo. He's never let you down. He's wise, but somehow down to earth at the same time. There is no one you could learn so much from. No one you'd rather work along side. You would cast aside one million Harry's to work with Leo...any day.
But then, there's another part of you, a repressed atom of your soul that would claw at your heart to be freed, almost until it had broken in two, while you listened in silence. Positively a demon, and the cause of all your heartbreak. That part of you was longing to rise up from your chair, to the top of a mountain, or building, or even just to the centre of the office, and give your own eulogy. You would have spoken of a wonderful man, with a mind as bright as his eyes. A handsome, gallant gentleman who had always been there when you needed him. A man whose means were often as crooked as his smile, but with the biggest heart and the strongest soul you had ever met. A modern day superhero who would stop at nothing to find the truth. The only man on the earth you stand on, that you would have given everything to, without hesitation. Your best friend and the only man you have ever truly trusted, with everything.
It would have been a thousand times better than any of those other ones.
Perhaps he had known that.
After your quip about the memory book, he had given a small laugh before asking, When are you going to do me a speech? When you hadn't replied, he had simply said, Pity. As he walked away, you are sure you heard him say under his breath, Yours was the only one I was looking forward to.