Santana's Point Of View
"Santana!"
"SANTANA!"
"Yo San, will ya get your hearing checked and answer me already!"
I heard Puck calling me. I didn't want to answer him. A, it was nine in the morning on a Saturday and I just had a long night at the bar with my friends so I'm a little hung over. There was no way I would be getting out of bed at this hour, and B, Puck could wait. He never says anything important anyway. It was probably something useless, like what type of cereal he should eat for breakfast or 'Quinn said this to me, does that mean she likes me' and Santana Lopez does not answer to these types of questions.
I have such a bad hangover from last night; I think if I even tied to get up I'd fall back down onto my nice comfy bed from my dizziness. After my hard couple of weeks of realizing that I will never have a relationship or friendship with Brittany I decided to go out and get drunk. Stop thinking about everything and just drink.
That wasn't one of my smartest idea's my head burns and aches like I just got hit by a bus and every part of my body hurts because apparently I fell on the floor from loosing my balance. I don't think I've gotten that drunk since my last year of high school. I lie on my pillow watching the clock tick, time seems to be moving slowly.
"Santana! Bitch, I'm calling you!" Oh gosh is he still calling me, I guess I kind of leant to tune him out, two years of living with him does that to you.
I groan, if he wants to speak to me then he's going to have to move his big ass off the couch, climb up those steps and come into my room because there is not way I'm moving. I see some water by my bedside table, thank god for Quinn. She helped me to bed last night after seeing what condition I was in. She takes good care of me, that and she knew that if she didn't help me and try and sober me up my hangover would be much worse and I don't think she wanted to hear me complain for the whole day.
I hear footsteps coming up from the stairs, so Puck finally got up and decided to come to my room. I'm happy about that but not happy for how loud he was being, I have such a bad head ach and his big elephant feet are not helping it.
There is no way I want to actually talk to him at this moment. Maybe if I just pretend that I'm sleeping he'll leave me alone, but then again I didn't answer him so obviously he thinks I'm sleeping and is still coming up to my room. That boy will never learn to take a hint; he didn't even get hints back in high school.
Sometimes I wish I had an apartment to myself but then I think to myself and realize that as annoying as Puck and Quinn are I still like their company and would be very lonely. So yes, I am happy that I have them hear. As much as I hate to admit it I can't do everything on my own.
My door slammed open, oh great here he comes. I closed my eyes and prayed that he would leave me alone but I really doubt that. I pulled my covers up to my face and snuggled into my blanket getting all comfy.
"Santana," I heard a whisper.
"Sanny San, San," What the fudge was with that nickname? No thanks, no into that.
I pulled the covers up higher and shifted to my left turning my back towards his face. Just go away Puck, now. I thought to myself. Ugh, it's too early for this.
"San I know you have a hangover but I know you're not actually sleeping to look at me, I have something important to tell you."
"Ughhkdsfmmmh," was all I managed to say.
"Quinn wanted me to get you, please get up." Puck said.
"Noooo," I moaned.
"Would you rather me come and get you or Quinn, you know she's not in a very good mood from having to take care of you last night. I would personally much rather me."
"Why does she want me up?"
"I donno, I'm just the messenger man."
"More like boy."
"Fine if you're like that I won't tell you the other piece of information I learnt." I didn't say anything I just groaned and close my eyes back again. "It's about Brittany."
I bounced up facing Puck. I bit too quickly because I felt my room spinning and I just fell back into the bed, he laughed at me, it wasn't nice. "Shut up." I told him.
"What did you find out?"
"You know how our old school, our high school has those Halloween reunion parties for all the past students that we never go too?"
"Yeah, what about them?"
"Well I think this year you might be interested in going because I was speaking to this guys this morning who also happened to go to our high school in the year below us. Well he knows Brittany and he said that she was thinking of going."
"This isn't one of your plans to get me to go somewhere with you that I don't want to be, is it?"
"No, no of course not. I'm actually serious this time."
"Well in that case..." I leaped up from my bed again feeling a little more stable this time and wrapped Puck in a big bear hug. I guess he was a little surprised by my hug attack because he collapsed on the floor, me falling on top of him. I didn't realize I was still hugging him until now but I could care less, I was so happy at this point. This was the best day ever! I could hardly wait! I'm going to see Brittany again!
"Wow San, calm down," I get off of him and brush myself off.
"Sorry," I say, I can feel my cheeks turning bright red even if that isn't really possible.
"You're so whipped," I slap Puck on the arm, he just keeps smiling at me.
"Are not!"
"Yeah you are, and you haven't even spent a lot of time with this girl, I can't wait to see what you'll be like when you actually start going out with her."
I tackled Puck on the floor, no one messes with me and gets away with it. I put him in a headlock but he keeps laughing. Then he does something that I'm not expecting in the slightest. He flips me onto my bag and pins me down to the floor, I stuggle to get out but his grip is really strong.
"No so tough now are you," he says, but I keep fighting him. I try to push him off but he's really strong, when did this happen. Has he been going to the gym or something, that's a shocker.
"Stop, stop," I say.
"Nope, not until you admit your not the toughest anymore."
"Not a chance."
"Then I'm not moving." I grunt. I seriously need to work out anymore this is humiliating. Just as I'm about to win! I know I'm about to win I hear the door open again and I see someone's feet. Quinn's. We're in trouble now. I think to myself, I look up at Pucks face and he has that oh shit look on. His mouth is in an O shape, I don't want to even look at Quinn's expression right now, she's probably jealous even if she knows its nothing serious.
"Hey Quinn," he said getting off of me.
"Puck, downstairs." Puck hurried out my door and ran downstairs, and he thinks I'm whipped. I slowly crawled back into my bed until I heard Quinn cough. It was meant to get my attention. I turned to look at her.
"You think you're so sneaky don't you, downstairs."
I grabbed a sweater and made my way downstairs; great now I have to learn about all the things I did last night. Just what I wasn't, I really hope it's not about Brittany. Quinn followed me downstairs and made me sit on the couch while she stood in front of me with her arms crossed. Oh great, she's going to get all motherly on me.
"Santana, I'm worried about you. I've never seen you act like this you haven't been yourself lately. I know you're sad you don't have Brittany but seriously get a grip and live your life!"
"Mmmh, you never were great at pep talks Quinny," I say, she didn't think that was funny, she just frowns.
"Seriously, you have to do something with your life. All you've been doing is going to classes and sitting on the beach, what happened to the Santana I know! The fun one! The one that bitches to everyone and goes out to cause trouble?"
"Can you just let this go," I say to her.
"No! At first I thought this was a faze or something because all the girls you've liked, lasts like a week, but I guess she's not a faze so either do something about it or move on. Last night was terrible, do you know how drunk you were!" Did she seriously think I didn't know how drunk I got? I was paying for that right now.
"I..." she cut me off.
"I'm not done talking. You came home so drunk; you passed out on the floor. I thought you were smarter then that, I'm worried about you."
"Sorry," is the only thing I manage to say.
"Are you gonna go?"
"Go where?" I ask, she was confusing me now.
"To your high school Halloween reunion?"
"I want to, but I don't think I can. I haven't been that good with my money lately. I might have just enough for a plan ride to Lima but I don't think I'll have enough to come back."
"That's where you're wrong," I looked up puzzled.
Quinn sits down beside me on the couch; she ruffles thought her bag that sits on the floor near her. I wonder what she is talking about, now I'm really confused and usually I'm pretty good at understanding everything. What am I wrong about, and why is she taking so long to find whatever is in that bag of hers.
Finally she looks back at me. Wait it that what I think it is! Is that really what she's holding! Quinn give me two tickets, two tickets to Lima. I can't believe it; my face has just dropped wide open with shock. I didn't know what to think. I can't believe Quinn did this for me.
"You didn't," I say in shock.
"Puck and me decided it would be good for you. You can make it up to us later," she smiled.
"I can't, you can't."
"Shut up and take the tickets."
"Thanks."
"Oh and Puck's gonna go with you."
"Love you Quinn," I say wrapping her in a big bear hug.
"I know, I'm pretty awesome," she says.
"For once I can agree with you."
Here I am, back in Lima, Ohio. Puck and me will be staying with my parents, they were pretty happy when I told them I would be coming back to visit. I only see them for summer vacation or Christmas. I think they are glad they get to see me three times in the year other then just two.
My room looked the same as always, blue walls, black sheets, like I never left high school. I guess it will be kind of nice to see my other friends again. The thing I'm really dreading is seeing all the people I bullied, I really hurt them all, meeting Brittany really made that clear to me. I hoped they wouldn't all still hate me like Brittany did but I really can't blame them if they did so thank god I have Puck with me, I don't think I'd be able to do this if I didn't have him.
The reunion was tomorrow and I was pretty tried plus I still needed to find a Halloween costume to wear for the event. I thought I'd just crash in my bed and sleep and tomorrow I could go out to buy me something to wear. That would be the best idea for everyone because no one liked a cranky Santana.
000000000000000
I was right. There are a lot of people that go back to reunions. There must have been hundreds of people here. I was pretty comfortable with what I was wearing; I was dressed as a ladybug. Sure I would have rather been something more, well me, like a nurse or something but this was cute too. I could totally pull it off and I must say I look pretty hot.
Puck was standing beside me, we made it clear that we would not have matching costumes or get those cute couple costumes because I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about us. I didn't want them to get the wrong idea about me. I wanted to show them I've changed, maybe if I convince other people I might convince Brittany. I really hope she would be here, she loved Halloween, I remember that from high school.
She would always put a lot of effort into her costume and walked around the halls all happy showing it off. I remember for my last year of high school Puck got fed up with her happy face and slushied her costume, she cried after that. Just the thought of that made my stomach turn; I felt cold I couldn't feel worse for that.
As I walked into the gym with Puck all my memories rushed back, the dodge ball game where I had challenged this loser named Finn, well he wasn't a loser to the school because he was dating the head cheerleader but to me he was a loser, he had man boobs. Or when the Glee club performed Toxic by Britney Spears and everyone was screaming for them. That was about the only Glee club performance I enjoyed watching. That's when Brittany first caught my eye, after that performance she looked different to me and I knew I had to get ride of whatever I was feeling for her out of my head. I now know what I was really feeling but I was too scared to admit it back then.
I felt like the only reason I bullied her was because I had a little crush on her but didn't want to admit it to me or anyone else, so I just dated Puck hoping that all those feelings would disappear. Obviously it didn't work because here I am again, having feelings for Brittany but this time I'm going to do it right.
As I walked into the gym I saw all eyes turn to Puck and me. Back in high school I would have loved all the attention on me but right now, it didn't feel so good. If I was really going to call it something, I think I felt shy. That is rare. Nothing scares me. I didn't know why I felt this afraid to see everyone again, Puck must have sensed my hesitation because he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the crowd to a spot that was by ourselves.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed seeing everyone again."
"Don't worry, I'll be here with you."
"Thanks," I said.
I took a look at the gym again, it changed since the last time I've been here, they got new basketball nets and re-did the lines on the ground. It looked cleaner. I really wish they had re-done the gym while I was still here, it would have been really nice for cheerio's practice.
"Well, well look who decided to show up," I quickly turn around and see one of my best friends from high school.
"Amy!" I say excitedly.
"Hey San, good to see you again." We hugged. "And look, you brought Puck with you, cute."
"How are you?" I ask.
"Pretty good, still stuck in Lima but next year I decided that I would break out and go to New York or something."
"That's great! Still cheerleading?"
"Little bit, I help coach every now and then with the cheerios."
"She still here? She must be really old now."
"Actually I'm still in pretty good shape Sandbags," I snap my head back around. There standing behind me was Coach Sue and she heard me. Shit.
"Oh sorry."
"You know I don't take apologies, what's happened to you little Latina?"
"She's changed," Puck quickly said.
"Seems like it," Amy said. "Is there any bitch still left in you."
"Of course," I say.
"Well it was good to see you again, I'm gonna go see other people okay," Amy said leaving.
"Um Puck, I'm going to grab something to drink," I told him leaving him behind. I was now feeling stronger to go out and see who was here. I really wanted to find Brittany, she her I did care.
I made my way to the food table because we all know Santana loves her food. There were some people working the snack bar, I recognized them, two of them were in Brittany's grade and two were in the year below me. Great, three out of the four were in Glee club, just my luck.
As I made my way to the table they stared at me. I really hated to be stared at now a days. I grabbed something to drink and saw that they were still staring at me.
"What?" I finally said.
"You're Santana Lopez." One of them said.
"The one and only." I say with a smile, hoping they will see this new side of me.
"You made my high school life a living hell," the girl said to me, I looked down at my feet now feeling really bad.
"Yeah sorry," I mumbled just enough for them to hear me.
"You what?" They asked in surprise.
"I'm sorry."
"You're apologizing?" One boy asked, I swear he's gay.
"I am."
"Well that's good enough for me," he said. "I'm Kurt by the way, and this is my boyfriend Blaine." I was right! I smiled at them, they seemed like pretty decent people.
"Nice to meet you."
"Kurt! I thought you were going to bring me something to drink," I heard a voice from behind me. Oh gosh, that sounded like. I slowly turn around, my heart rate starts to speed up, and my eyes practically jump out of my head. I can't believe what I am seeing.
"Brittany."
"Santana," she says a little surprised to see me.
I can't believe this, this is like the greatest day of my life. She's dressed in a Tinkerbelle costume. Her dress is short, it's covering her butt showing off those amazing legs of her's that I can't seem to stop looking at. I have to fight the eager of looking at her legs or I might start to freak her out. I look back up at her and see that the top of her dress is low cut showing me exactly what I want to see and her face, her long blonde hair goes past her shoulders, she looks perfect. I love her blue eyes and how they sparkle in the light.
She looks like a real fairy, so gorgeous. I stare at her for a few more seconds until she gives me a weird look and I realize that I've been staring a little too long. I quickly look away in some other direction.
I feel my heart rate speed up, I really wish she was mine I like her so much. I try had to keep the smile off my face, it I let it show it would be the cheesiest grin ever and I was no ready to show her that.
"You two know each other?" Kurt asked in surprises.
"We go to school together," I said.
"Yeah, lucky me," she said sarcastically.
"She's still mad at me for what I did to her in high school," I told Kurt who looked surprise when I told me that. He gave Brittany a weird look too.
"Wait she hates you? But back in high school she l..." Brittany quickly cut him off, now I was really interested in what he was going to say.
"KURT!" Brittany snapped.
"Sorry, but if you ask me it looks like you've changed Santana, good for you."
"Uhh, thanks," I really hoped having Kurt forgive me could change Brittany's opinion towards me as well but from the look on her face it didn't seem like she did.
"So can I have that drink now?" She asked Kurt.
"You can have mine, I just poured it and don't worry, I didn't drink from it yet," I said too her without thinking. She just looked at me, the look that tells someone to fuck off. It felt like my heart just dropped to the ground, I felt my whole face drop. I think Kurt saw it because he looked sorry for me. I don't know why he would feel bad; he shouldn't after everything I did to him in high school.
"I can get my own," she said coldly.
"Britt," Kurt said to him.
"No I'm so done with this," Brittany said taking her drink and leaving. I watched her leave. My heart sunk. This was not what I expected to happen. I feel so disconnected right now, my breath beguines to slow down and my heart beats like a drill, my thoughts run around my head like their running from one another.
Right now I feel like I'm living in a black whole where I everything I like gets sucked in and I'm left with nothing, I can feel tears about to pour out of my eyes and I try to hold them in. There is no way I'm showing emotion at this high school reunion with everyone looking at me. I am a stone show no emotion.
"She didn't mean that you know," Kurt says to me, but I ignore him. I walk away.
That's when I see Puck, he see's me too and can read my emotions to he comes running up to me and gives me a big hug kissing the top of my head. I'm go glad he came with me.
"Well look who it is. The it couple is back," great this is the last person I want to talk to right now.
"Karofsky," Puck says as he lets me go.
"I little birdie told me that Satan's turned nice..." he said in shock. It sounded like he was displeased.
"That's right."
"I think you need a reminder that you have the power, I have an idea." He said handing me a slushy.
"What no! I'm not doing this to anyone," I said trying to hand it back to him but he doesn't take it.
"Dude take it back, she doesn't want it," Puck said.
"Oh wow, I didn't realize you both turned soft," he said to us. Then he looked around and quickly grabbed someone from the crowed. I couldn't believe it he grabbed Brittany. No, this was not okay. He was going suffer. I was going to punch his balls if he even had any. He was not going to hurt Brittany, no one was. "Slushy her, she was in Glee, she doesn't deserve to be here."
"No! If anyone doesn't deserve to be here it's you. Now you're going to take this slushy back turn you lady ass back around and get the hell out of here," I snap of him.
"Fine I'll take the slushy back," he says grabbing it out of my hand.
"Good, now turn around and walk away," I look around me and realize how much of a crowd we have drawn in. Almost the whole school is looking at us again. I feel like I'm back in high school expect this time I am the one defending someone, they all look impressed I'm not the one with the slushy.
"Fine," he begins to turn around when he stops, "wait I forgot something," he said.
That's when I realize what he just did. He took that slushy and chucked it at Brittany's face, she looks so hurt, so cold, like a sad little puppy. This was not okay with me. I can't believe he just did that to poor innocent Brittany. I feel the rage burn up inside me. This is bullshit! No one ever hurts Brittany! He has just crossed the line.
"Dude what the hell!" Puck snapped.
I looked over at Brittany to see that she had blue ice in her eyes and was struggling to whip it all away. She could barley open her eyes. She was covered in slushy, it was all over her hair, her costume, I could tell she was about to start crying and when Brittany cries, well lets say that snix is officially back.
"You fucking retard! No one touches Brittany got that!" I saw walking up the Karofsky clenching my fists together.
"Come on, I'm showing you what you're missing."
"Fuck you!" I couldn't hold back any longer, the next thing I knew my first met his face and he was hunched over holding it like a little baby. "You little baby! Once a jerk always one. Get the fuck out of here! You are not welcome!" I yelled.
"The fuck Santana," he said to me as he ran out through the doors. I was still trying to manage my anger.
That's when I noticed Brittany wasn't around me, I ran out of the gym looking for the washroom. That's where she would have gone, that's where they all went to get cleaned up. I slowly opened the door to find Brittany sitting on the floor crying, she had tried to get the slushy out but she didn't do a really good job. I felt my heart sink as I looked at her. I couldn't believe he would do that to her, she's sweet and good and perfect. She's the last person that deserved that.
"Britt," I say in a gentle voice.
She looks up at me.
"Go away," she says.
I don't listen to her, instead I go take at seat on the floor next to her and just stay there. She looks at me confused, and I just feel even more horrible inside. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Why are you being so nice to me? Why did you stick up for me," she suddenly asked.
"Because you're the last person that deserved that slushy," I say.
"Oh."
"That should have been me, I should have been the one to get slushied. I deserve it the most. I was horrible back then," I tell her.
"No, you don't deserve it either, don't say that."
"I do, I'm a horrible person, I bullied you so much back then, I really don't blame you for hating me. I don't blame anyone for hating me, I deserve. I should have taken that slushy, it's all my fault this happened to you." I looked down at my hands, feeling the tears swell up.
"Santana don't say that. You're a good person and I don't hate you. I just, I... never mind," she says.
"You can tell me you know, I won't tell anyone. I promise." I look at her and she just shakes her head.
"Thanks though."
"I'm really sorry, for everything I've done to you, and for shooting you with a paintball," she chuckled.
"Yeah well technically it wasn't you, so I guess I can forgive you for that." I laugh.
"Thanks. We should get you cleaned up," I tell her.
I stand up and pull some paper towels out and put a little bit of water on them. I sit back down in front of Brittany and very gently begin to get the slushy off her face. I should have done this before our heart to heart because it's all gotten very sticky now which makes it harder to come off.
I take some ice out of her hair and make sure it looks all pretty again. I hold her cheek while I run the paper over her other cheek getting the stickiness off. As I touch her cheek I feel my heart jump a little. I get the fluttery feeling, which is the best feeling in the world. I look at her and she looks like she's blushing but I then think to myself that I'm only seeing what I want to see.
I get the last little bit of slushy out of her hair, its not perfect but it's all I can do right now in the school bathroom. I never thought it would be this hard to get slushy off.
"Done," I tell her.
"Thanks." She says with a smile. "So wanna tell me the real reason you're mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you."
"Are you sure, because it really seems that way."
"I know, but I'm not doing it out of anger. You should know that," I look at Brittany confused. She senses it. "I just don't want to get hurt again."
"I am never going to hurt you. I will never hurt you again." I tell her as convincing as I can.
"But that's the thing, you already have," My hear drops. What have I done to make Brittany so sad? I try and think back but I really can't think of anything. Then she speaks again and I think I'm starting to get it. "You and Puck are really cute together."
"Wait? You think I'm with Puck?" She nods. "Britt he's really not my type. I'm gay," I say with a little laugh. She looks up at me and I see her eyes just explode out from her eyes. She looks at me in shock.
"What?"
"Yeah, we're not dating, he's just a good friend," the biggest smile I've ever seen creeps up on her face, she looks away from me to hid it but I've already seen it and she looks so cute. I can see her through the mirror now and I can see she's blushing. I think she's really cute.
"I promise I never meant to hurt you," I told her.
"I know," she said.
"Can I make it up to you?"
"I donno."
"Oh."
We sat in silence again for a few minutes. The hearting in my heart had some back again, I needed Brittany, I wasn't really sure I needed her until this point but sitting with her actually having a conversation made me realize that I like her so much, I don't know what I'd do without her.
I was so deep in thought, in my sorrows I hadn't even noticed how close we had gotten together. I looked back up and realized her face was really close to mine. I could feel her breath on me, which made my stomach turn over, in the good way. She was looking at me while I kept looking up at her eyes and then down to her lips. Her perfect shaped lips, how I just wanted to kiss her right now.
"Can I ask you something?" She finally spoke up.
"Anything." I said. I didn't want her to move, I wanted her to stay this close to me. Everything felt so perfect.
"Do you like me?" The question took me a little by surprise. I looked down wondering what to say, I was probably taking a little too much time because I saw Brittany's expression change. It went from determination to worry. I held onto my breath and squeezed my eyes shut, opening them again and then...
"Yes," I told her. I could see her smiling, she was smiling!
That's when she leant in even closer to me. I could feel my pulse rising and my stomach flipping out of control. Then finally, the gap between us closed and she was kissing me.
Thanks for all the comments, u guys are great so I'm trying to update faster, but with exams going on right now it might be hard. Hope you all like the story so far!