It was a week later that I had kissed Brittany. It was a week later and I still hadn't talked to Brittany. After we kissed, the most amazing kiss I even had, I helped her up and we went back to the party. She didn't really want to stay because she still was sticky from the slushy so she decided it would be best if she went to her hotel to get cleaned up. She thanked me again for helping her and then went out in a little bit of a hurry.

After that I decided to go find Puck and convince him to leave. My only reason for being there had just left and I didn't want to stick around any longer to deal with Karofsky. Puck and I decided to go home, he obviously knew something had happened. According to him I looked red as a tomato, which I really doubt but I was too happy to argue.

Now we were both back in California, back in the apartment. I wanted to speak to Brittany but truth is I didn't have her number and every time I went over to her residence Rachel told me she was at a class or was out. I figured that I should leave my phone number but Rachel told me that I should talk to her in person than over the phone. She told me that Brittany doesn't really like using the phone, which I find really surprising.

I went downstairs and saw Puck coming back from his jog. I went down to the beach to meet him; he was all sweaty it was really nasty. He tried to give me a hug but I pushed him away, there was no way I was about to let that sweaty body touch me, never ever!

"Hey guess who I ran into this morning?" He said to me.

"Who?" I asked.

"Brittany," I stood there in shock. I hadn't seen her for a week and I really wanted to. I missed her, I wanted to kiss her again, hold her again. I would go back this afternoon to her res and check if she was there.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah but the weirdest thing happened," now he had me interested. "I ran over to her to say hi but she looked at me like she had never met me. She gave me a quick hi and then said she really had to go. What's up with that?"

"Maybe she really had to go," I state the obvious.

"Whatever, it was weird."

"What are you trying to say Puck?"

"I donno, something seems up with her. She seemed like she was in a hurry to get away from me."

"Well have you met you, if I saw you running up to me I would get a little creeped out and try to get away from you," I teased him.

"Oh you're so funny," he said sarcastically. I couldn't help but feel more pleased with myself.

"It's probably nothing," I tell him, but the truth I'm getting a little worried now. Did Brittany avoid Puck because she knew he was friends with me? Had Brittany just been avoiding me this whole time? Every time I went to go see her she was never there and Rachel never let me give my number to her.

I probably was thinking too much into this, I always seemed to do that and Puck was making it worse by telling me his story. I would just go find her and talk to her about it today and if Rachel told me she didn't think it was a good idea to give my number to her then I would sit outside her door room door and wait until she came back.

"I'm just warning you, I don't want you to get hurt or anything."

"Please I'm Santana Lopez, I don't get hurt," but I do, and it sucks.

"Yeah... okay," Puck could see through my lie but decided not to say anything about it. "So, do you know where Quinn is?" He asked me trying to change the subject.

"I don't know. Probably inside studying or something."

"Oh."

Why don't you just ask her out already?"

"It's not that simple."

Sure it is, hey Quinn I really like you and I was just wondering if you would like to go out with me Friday night."

"I'm flattered Lopez but you're really not my type," I jump up in surprise and turn around to see Quinn smiling at me. I'm so embarrassed, stupid Puck, she knows I'm kidding but I still hate him for it.

"Oh you wish you could date me," I joked.

"No thanks, I'd rather not have all that baggage you come with."

"What! I am baggage free!" I tell her.

"Sure you are," typical Quinn, she's always trying to get under my skin. Always tries to get me annoyed well two can play that game. Let's see how Quinn likes it.

"So Quinny, how's that picture of you and Puck you keep in your room," I immediately see her expression change to worry, her cheeks turn red, she embarrassed. I got her right where I want her.

"You have a picture of me in your room?" Puck asked in surprise.

"No! Santana's lying!" She snaps.

"That doesn't look like the face of someone who's lying," I say, I am defiantly getting under her skin now.

"Shut up Santana!" She tells me but I can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, well I'm gonna go and find the person I like and actually try to do something about it unlike some people I know," I reference both her and Puck, they know I'm talking about them because they both look down at their feet and say nothing.

As I'm walking away I heard Quinn call from behind me. "Bitch!"

"Glad you finally figured that out," I yell back smiling. I am satisfied with what I did, Quinn knows she shouldn't mess with snix. Snix always wins.

I walk back over to Brittany's residence, I don't know how I'm gonna get in this time. I don't have a key ever since I gave Brittany's back and the last couple of times I have been lucky. Some idiot forgot to lock the door once and the other time someone was running late for class so they ran out the door and I managed to catch it before it closed, I doubt I would have that luck this time.

Once I finally managed to get into the building, by waiting outside for a few minutes until someone came out the door to have a smoke and let me in, thinking I lived there, I was now on my way to Brittany's. I marched right up to that door more determined then anything to go after what I want.

I wasn't the type of person who moped around all day because I couldn't get the person that I wanted or I couldn't build up the courage to ask someone out on a date. I was the type of person that would go after what I wanted; it's a waste of time to sit on your butt and think about what you want to do, why don't people actually go do it! I never understood that about people, Santana Lopez never moped; this was a moping free zone.

Yes I cried at times but I would suck it up and be tough. Crying shows weakness and I am not weak. I can't remember that last time I cried. I get that you can cry over something tragic like a break up after three years or the death of a loved one but crying over something like getting rejected or falling and hurting yourself that's just stupid. Rejection does nothing to me, I am a stone and a stone I will stay.

If Brittany rejected me, I would be okay with that I was a stone. If she rejected me I wouldn't let it hurt, of course it wouldn't hurt me nothing hurts me. I will be brave and not cry.

My papi always told me that crying showed weakness and he was right. I wouldn't let Brittany get to me, she wasn't that special... was she? No she wasn't I could find someone better and I wasn't about to let anyone into my little circle of emotions. I've always been strong. The only people that have even seen me cry are Puck and Quinn and that was for something really serious. That was when this guy Finn had practically shoved me out of the closet. Puck was right there by my side and punch that guy so hard he broke his noise.

I stand in front of Brittany's door getting ready to knock, I tried to give myself a little pep talk but I was never good at those things. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't take no for an answer this time. I knock on the door and instantly find myself staring at Rachel not Brittany, of course.

"Brittany's not here," she says.

"Of course, she's never here," I tell her.

"Sorry," she's about to close the door when I stop her.

"Wait, can you please give her my number? I really need to talk to her and so please can you give her my number and tell her to call me." I ask.

"You know she doesn't like the phone."

"I know but I still..." I get interrupted when I heard something slam into something in Rachel's room, it sounds like another person fell of bumped into something because the next noise I hear is...

"Shit!" they say.

"Who's that?" I ask.

"Oh um... that's, uh... my friend," she sound suspicious.

"Oh I see, well can I give you Brittany my number please?" I ask again.

"I really think you should talk to her in person," she tells me.

"Yeah but I..." The same person interrupts me again.

"Close the door," the person says. I become very confused either the person in the room doesn't like me or something's going on. I am very confused so I look back at Rachel, she can tell that I am demanding an answer.

"I have um... a boy in here."

"Oh." Is all I manage to say because from what I heard it sounded like a girls voice. It sounded like a familiar girls voice but I block it out of my head because that's what's best for me at the moment. It's what's best because I am a stone and if I think about who it really could be then I don't think I will be a stone anymore.

"I'll leave you then," I say to Rachel as she closes the door. I guess that really didn't go as I planned. I stand outside the door thinking about what just happened. I try not to let it get to me, I guess I'll just wait outside the residence until Brittany comes home from where ever she is.

I am about to leave when I hear something from inside the room, it's not something bad but there are two voices and now I'm sure the other voice is a girl's voice. I lean closer to the door and listen.

"You can't keep doing this," Rachel says.

"I know." The other voice says, and yes that is defiantly a girls voice.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" Rachel asks.

"Not really, I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Look if you want my advice, whatever it is you really should talk to her because you can't keep doing this. It's hurting her and I know you might not care but you need to be the better person Britt," that last word stung.

Brittany was in the door room the whole time. She was avoiding me. That hurt. I really didn't know why she was avoiding me, everything was going amazing at the reunion. I mean apart from the fact that she got slushied and had to leave early because she was all sticky I thought we had a connection. The way she kissed me and looked into my eyes afterwards. The way she smiled and cutely touched my cheek. I really thought she liked me.

I couldn't help thinking that she regretted everything that happened but here she was in her room with her roommate who had just lied to my face telling me that she was out. She didn't want to see me that was clear but I still wanted to know why. She told me she forgave me, if that was the case then why does she not want to talk to me. I couldn't feel worse then right now. I already told myself that I wouldn't let her get to me, I won't fall sad because of her. I've got to be strong, I've got to be the rock, push away all the feelings. I told myself that after my last relationship, I never get hurt like that again so if I just suppress all the feelings then that shouldn't happen. I don't care what Brittany thinks of me anymore, if she doesn't want to see me then she won't. I'm over it. I'll just move on to the next one, that's pretty much what I've done my whole life so it's not like she's any different right? No, she not. I have to shove all thoughts of her out of my head.

I walk outside her residence never to look back again. Stupid feelings aren't even important; I guess that's why Puck and Quinn haven't done anything to act on their feelings. It's easier that way. I don't know why I never held back my feelings before, it was so much better, you don't get hurt.

Two days later and I still haven't spoken to Brittany. I'm glad actually, Quinn might say that differently but I am glad. I can get over her and have no emotions towards anyone. Feelings can suck it. Yeah I've been going out to the bar the last two days with my other friends but I haven't got that drunk like I did before the reunion, that's an improvement. I've been going to my classes and I've actually been studying, this is the new Santana Lopez and if people don't like it then they can get lost. I don't care, why should I care about anything.

Quinn was buying some coffee up ahead of me. We were in the coffee store again, the store where I had first met Rachel and met Brittany a few seconds before that. I remember she looked so innocent and perfect, that long blonde hair flowing on her shouldered and those blue eyes, oh god those blue eyes! I shook my head trying to get Brittany out of my head it was hard. Stop it Santana. She doesn't like you just give up. I hated feeling venerable, I can't believe I was actually admitting to be venerable right now.

I looked down to my feet, they were interesting and looking at them made me shift my focus onto something other than Brittany. Quinn had told me before to get over her so that is what I'm doing, or trying to do. No I'm doing it, that faster I admit to having no feelings toward Brittany the faster I can forget about her.

Quinn comes back and hands me my coffee, I don't really feel like having anything to drink at this moment but she was trying to by nice and since I haven't been the easiest person to be around the last couple of days I owe it to her to be more friendly. I smile at her and hope that's enough to show that I'm thankful for it. I really don't feel like saying anything.

I take a sip of the coffee cough a little bit. Just quiet enough so Quinn doesn't hear me. This is not the way I like my coffee so I decide that I will pretend to drink it and as time passes I'll throw it out.

As we're walking down the sidewalk suddenly out of nowhere Quinn wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I drop the coffee cut because I am taken with surprise. Well I guess I don't need to worry about pretending to finish it now. I am slightly shocked. Why did Quinn suddenly hug me. I squirm a little and she backs off, I look at her confused demanding an answer, she knows I want one but she then she hold out her coffee cup and wants me to take it. Now I am really confused. Quinn is never this nice to me under any circumstance and she definitely never hugs me randomly.

"What was that?" I ask.

"Can't I hug my best friend?"

"Yeah but not like that. Jeeze Quinn you kind of attacked me, am I just that attractive that you decided you couldn't keep you hands off me any longer," I say arching my eyebrow.

"Please, don't flatter yourself," my mouth opens wide. "You might want to close that, don't want to catch flies."

"Explain yourself missy."

"There's nothing to explain, I just wanted to hug my friend and then you dropped your coffee so I thought that you would want mine," she told me.

"Yeah..." I say. I I'm getting tried of the weird look she has on her face and I really don't feel like just standing here because she is starting to freak me out so I go to turn around to walk the other way when I suddenly feel a grip on my arm. It's a tight grip and it kind of hurts.

"You can't go that way," she says quickly.

"Please I can go anyway I like," I take my hand out of her grip and turn around. Then I finally see why Quinn was acting so strangely. She was trying to protect me, trying to get me to not see what I'm looking at right now. There not to far away from me is Brittany, holding hands with some guy. She's smiling and laughing and having a great time. I can feel my stomach tighten and I begin to feel sick. I feel a tare inside of me.

"You okay?" Quinn asks.

"Fine," I say through my teeth.

"Do you want to go," I look at Brittany before I decide. I want to leave, I want to leave more then anything. I want to get rid of this feeling I have inside of me right now. I hate it, I hate that I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any second but I won't let anyone have the satisfactory of seeing my cry. I want to go but I want answers as well. After everything that happened I want to know why Brittany is with this guy and not with me. I want to know why she's holding hands with him, laughing at his jokes then being with me.

"No, I have to do something," I say pulling up my courage. Quinn nods, she understands.

I walk up to Brittany with more determination than ever, I decide to put whatever emotion I was feeling behind me and turn it into rage. I'm better at dealing with rage then what I was feeling before.

"Brittany!" I look at her straight in the face she is surprised. I can't help but stare at those blue eyes of hers but I know that if I want to do this properly that I have to stop.

"Santana," she says not expecting to see me.

"I need to talk to you."

She turns to what's his face. Not that I care. "Can you give us a minute," she says. He nods and leaves off to the side thank god. Seeing me makes me cringe.

"So what's up?" Brittany asked. Was she serious! I thought it would be pretty clear what was up.

"Are you kidding me! You've been avoiding me these past two weeks and you ask me what's up?"

"I wasn't avoiding you. I haven't been in my room. Rachel told me you came by and I was meaning to get back to you but I've just been really busy." She's lying to my face! I can't believe it.

"Bullshit!" I snap, I'm not in the mood to be lied to. I want answers, straight answers.

"What! I told you, I haven't been in my room and..." I was not going to take her shit so I cut her off.

"I heard you!"

"What?" She asks a little more quietly.

"The last time I came by your room, I heard you in there. Rachel had no boy, that was you! After she closed to door on me, you thought I left but I hadn't and then I heard you two start talking," I said a little more calmly even if I was still boiling mad inside.

"Oh," is all she manages to say.

"Yeah, oh."

"Santana I'm sorry it's just..."

"Don't even try to give me an excuse. You kissed me and then you just avoid me! Do you know how that feels! Not to mention I see you here with a guy holding hands with him like you two have known each other forever." I was hurting now, I could feel it and I didn't like it. I can't feel, I won't let myself but my body doesn't seem to be listening.

"Ok."

"Ok what?" I snap.

"Ok I'll give you the whole story."

"Good, cause you at least owe that to me."

"Before the reunion I was at my dance studio where I ran into my friend Mike. He said he had this friend who wanted to go out on a date with me so we did. That's him over there," she points to the guy standing alone looking up at a tree. He looks like an idiot. "I didn't know what was really happening with him but he asked me out again after I got back from Lima, we went out again and I had a really good time."

"So you're dating him." I said trying not to sound as hurt as I was feeling.

"I...I," I knew the answer to that. I didn't need more then her stuttering.

"Forget it." I start to walk away but she grabs my wrist to stop me. I don't want to be stopped, I'm holding onto my tears and it's getting really hard to hold them in but I don't want to cry in front of her. I can't.

"Santana, you have to know that at the reunion, when we kissed. I felt nice."

"But that's all it is to you, nice. Just a big old nice mistake." I tell her very coldly, I'm back in bitch mode and I really could care less.

"No, it wasn't a mistake. I never said that."

"I can read between the lines."

"Obviously you can't because you're reading the wrong thing."

"Oh come on Brittany don't play games with me. I get it, you like him, you want to be with him. I get you don't like me and the kiss was just a kiss and because I know I will never get to be with you, please just let me go." She looks at me with sad eyes. I can't help but feel my stomach drop but I can't let those eyes get to me. She lets my arm go and I quickly pull it away.

"San I'm really sorry."

"Whatever," I scoff.

I turn and walk over to Quinn who saw the whole thing happen. I've never felt more betrayed. She looks back at Brittany giving her a cold look and then we walk off together, I don't even bother to look back. When I feel we're far away from Brittany I break out into tears. They fall, I can't stop them from falling. I hate feeling, I just wish it would all go away.

The tears come out of me and slid down my face. My whole body is shaking and I can barley stand, if it wasn't for Quinn hugging me I think I would have collapsed on the floor.

Let me know what you guys think! Also in case this FF or any of my other ones get taken down cause of the FF removal thing that's happening, I will be post on my twitter where I'll upload the rest of the story/ stories. If you want you can follow me nayanewss . Also if you wanna feel free to give this story a shout out on tumblr. But seriously hope you enjoyed the chapter, I was having trouble with it.