Santana's Point of View

I was standing outside the bar with Brittany, I was still upset at her for everything that happened. I was hurt that she was starting to date that other guy after we had kissed but that didn't mean I didn't care for her. I saw what was going on between her and Tina and I knew I had to help her, I couldn't stand the thought of her being sad. When she ran into me and looked up she looked so helpless and lost it broke my heart.

Then again when I saw her trying to make her way out of the bar, I needed to help her stumbling self and when Tina came after her I just snapped no one was going to hurt Brit. She was drunk now confessing that she had screwed up, that she was sorry, although it felt good to hear that I still was really hurt. How was I supposed to know that after tonight she wouldn't just go back to the guy she was so keen on dating. I wanted to say mad at her but I just couldn't.

She shouldn't call herself a loser, she's far from that and Tina, fucking Tina how dare she call Brittany a loser and stupid! She's not! She's an amazing person that shines brighter than the stars. I really screwed up when I bullied Brittany back in high school, I guess it's finally time to tell her why I did that.

"You want to know the whole story?" Brittany just nodded. "Can we go somewhere a little more privet? I really don't feel like telling it outside a bar."

"Of course!" She said a little too overjoyed. I wondered how much of this she would actually remember tomorrow morning she was really drunk. Not only did I want to get her somewhere that I could speak to her privately but I also wanted to help sober her up, get her to drink some water and eat something.

I helped Brittany to the side of the street where I flagged a cab down. Rachel already saw us leaving together when Tina came to give us her bitch talk so I knew I didn't have to go find her friends and tell her she was coming with me. I didn't think it was a good idea for Brittany to be hanging around Tina anyway, not after the way she treated her.

I helped Brittany into the cab and she thanked me for helping her. The cab ride was quiet but not that awkward silence it was comfortable silence. Brittany was getting tired, I could see her yawning and her eyes slowly started to close, she looked so cute when she struggled to stay awake I wish I could scoop her up in my arms and cuddle with her. She yawned again and then looked at me, her eyes were really heavy but the blue shone though light up her whole face.

"You can close your eyes for a bit, I'll wake you up once we get there," She smiled and then rest her head on my shoulder. Her touch felt so nice, even if it was only a little bit of her on me I didn't want her to move. I rested my hand on her thigh because I really didn't have anywhere else to put it, it felt strange, I didn't know if she wanted me to rest it there seeing she was dating someone but she didn't push me away so I kept it there.

Slowly I felt her breathing become lighter as she drifted off to sleep. She looked breathtakingly beautiful peaceful like nothing bad had happened to her in the last hour. As the car ride went on I felt her curling up to my side and that's when she rested her arm around my waste holding onto me tight. I felt my heart jump, I'm pretty sure the smile on my face was as big as it had even been. She made me feel so good inside I could not feel any happier then in this moment.

I saw we were slowly approaching my apartment so I thought it would be a good time to wake Brittany up. I really didn't want to disturb her sleeping but I knew if she didn't have water she would be feeling horrible in the morning. I also knew that if I didn't tell her the story tonight I probably never would I probably would lose all the courage I had.

"Britt wake up," I said to her gently. She just groaned and readjusted herself, could she be any cuter. "Britt we're here, you gotta get up, we need to get you some water."

"I don't wanna," she sounded like a little four year old, and her pout was too cute. If she kept doing that I wouldn't be able to stay mad at her for much longer.

"Please, for me?" She looked up at me and rubbed her eyes.

"Fine," she said in a playful voice. I paid the cab driver and help her out of the door and up the stairs to my apartment. I sat her down on the couch and got her some water. I could tell that her little sleep in the cab sobered her up a little, she was more alert. Now she was going to remember the story for sure, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I was never really good with feelings, or expressing myself.

"Thanks," she told me taking a sip of the water.

"Yeah, no problem," now I felt awkward. I hated awkward situations they were so uncomfortable. I knew I was going to have to tell her the story, make her believe she wasn't a loser and the only way to do that was to open myself up to her, show her my feelings, something I was terrified of doing.

I sat beside her on the couch and I saw that she was staring at me with those gorgeous blue eyes, she looked so sweet, innocent, she just made my life turn out for the better. I suddenly realized her blue eyes were starting to water like she was about to cry I just broke inside.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, trying to comfort her.

"San I'm so sorry! I ruined everything! I screwed up so badly. Everyone's right, I am a loser, you had it right in the first place okay so please let me go home. Everyone was right," she was crying, so looked so broken which made me break. I was not going to let her think this.

"Stop it! I already told you you're not a loser; you're so much more than that. I didn't bully you because I thought you were a loser and if you stop crying for one second I will explain everything too you okay?" I didn't want to raise my voice but I hated when she talked bad about herself. She was the strongest person I knew.

Brittany nodded. I moved so that I was holding her waste, she then adjusted herself so her head was lying on my stomach. I held her never wanting to let her go, I was so comfortable I never wanted this feeling to go away.

"You know I was really popular at school, I was the leader the top bitch. No one would give me crap. When you first entered high school, that was the year I started to figure out that I was into girls. I didn't want anyone to know, I knew if they found out they would give me all this crap and I would go from the top to the bottom and I couldn't handle that. I didn't know how to deal with it."

"San," she interrupted me. Her voice was soft and calming, I could tell she knew I knew that it was hard to say this out loud. I don't know why it was so hard, I guess it had to do with the fact that I treated her horribly.

"No please, I have to say this," she nodded. "I heard that people were getting suspicious so I went to Puck for help, he was the only one that knew back then. He was my best friend, I knew I could trust him with anything. So then he came up with idea that I should date him. We wouldn't actually do stuff, he was just there so people would stop suspecting me." I looked at Brittany, her eyes were soft and I knew she understood.

Now I would have to get to the hard part. "When I saw you for the first time, you looked so innocent, so beautiful, I hadn't spoken to you yet but for some reason you were always on my mind. I liked you Brittany, I liked you so much," she looked at me surprised. I could tell she wasn't expecting that.

"You liked...?" She stopped her sentence; I could tell she was really confused.

"I liked you but... I was scared. I knew that if I acted on my feelings, people would get suspicious again and I didn't want people to talk about me or hurt me so instead of nice to you I was the exact opposite. I called you a loser so everyone thought I hated you and so no one would suspect I was actually crazy about you." Her face was now in a big O and I could feel my eyes start to water. I felt terrible for everything I did. What was I thinking?

"I threw slushy's at you to try and make the feelings go away. I did whatever I could to... to get you to hate me so I wouldn't have to look at your sweet face anymore. I wanted to see the hate in your eyes, the hate you had for me," I could feel the tears coming out of my eyes. I hated this part. "So that, it would push you away. So that I would never have to talk to you, so that all the feelings I had would go away but they didn't."

Brittany lifted my head up and whipped away my tears gently with her thump. She just smiled. "You didn't do a very good job then, did you?" Now it was my turn to be confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Santana I told you already. Even though you did that. After everything I still liked you so much. I don't know why, I know I shouldn't have after everything you did but there was just something about you," that made my heart flutter.

"Brittany you need to know I never though you were a loser or were stupid or anything. I thought you were the most amazing person in the whole world. I was the stupid one, the stupid one because I couldn't even fess up to my feelings and I made you life hell because of that. I'm so sorry."

"I believe you, and I do forgive you," hearing that made my body relax I just couldn't stand the thought of Brittany being mad at me. It was to horrible and it made my stomach turn. "And Santana, your not stupid either okay. You were scared, everyone has the right to be scared."

"Yeah but..."

"No, you were scared. No buts. I get it, and I forgive you."

"Thanks Britt," she leaned into me and gave me a hug, it didn't last long but in those 3 seconds I felt my whole world turn upside down for the better. I felt the spark, her touch alone gave me the giddy feeling inside to make my day for the whole week.

"Britt, I don't want to lose you again, and I know that you don't want to date me at the moment and I respect that so I really hope that if you want to, you'll let me be your friend?"

"San of course I'll let you be my friend but..."

"No please, no more buts, I can't handle that right now. And please can we not talk about things between us, I really can't handle that either, I just, I feel like I need to be alone for a little. To clear my head. I want to stay friends and I know I'll have to accept the fact that you'll date other people so please can I just be alone for a little, I called Rachel before and I think she's waiting outside."

Brittany started walking to the door, I really didn't want to see her leave but just the fact that I knew I couldn't have her was driving me insane. Here I just poured all my feelings out to her and I knew that she didn't want me back. I needed her in my life that was for sure but right now, I needed to process everything I said. Everything that was happening too fast.

"San please."

"I'll call you tomorrow okay? Please I just need to be by myself for now."

"So you just tell me this story that explains to me why you treated me like crap back in high school and now you're telling me to go before you let me ask any question or tell you my feelings? Is that how it's gonna work?" I couldn't stare at her face, it was so painful and I've been through an experience that was a lot like this. I didn't want to relive that.

"Please go."

"Well fine!" She said slamming the door shut. I felt the tears run out of my eyes, once again I was alone. The last time I was in this situation was with my old girlfriend. I had just told her all my feelings, I had told her I loved her and she told me that she could never love me. That she was incapable of loving me and that I messed up her chances of being with a guy. She told me that it was my fault for making her date me and that she didn't know how I got her to agree to date me in the first place. She broke my heart that night, and I couldn't take the chance that Brittany would do the same thing to me. Yet again Santana Lopez was scared, so much for being a rock.

Brittany's Point of View

I was hurt that Santana just shoved me out of her apartment, hurt that I didn't get the chance to tell her that I liked her, that I wanted her but I guess I needed to give her time, I guess she didn't want me that much if she wouldn't even listen to me confess my feelings to her. Santana wanted to stay friends, and I would just have to accept that.

She was right, Rachel was waiting for me outside I put on a brave face for her, there was no way I wanted to talk to her at the moment. I told myself to think of happy things like ducks or Lord Tubbington. He was my favorite I really missed me. Maybe I could sneak him in my door room some how. No that wouldn't work, too bad. I got into the car and turned my face away from Rachel, I hoped she would understand. I was not completely sober again and I hated it. I wish this conversation took place before I got drunk in the first place so I could go to the bar and forget everything.

Thankfully Rachel didn't ask me anything the whole car ride back, maybe she could tell I didn't want to speak to her. I had a ruff night; first with Tina and then with Santana so by the time I got home I just curled up in my bed and tried to fall asleep. It was harder then I suspected, Santana was on my mind constantly. I couldn't stop thinking about her kicking me out of her apartment that moment just felt so surreal.

I woke up the next morning with only a little headache, I had Santana to thank for that. Without the water it would probably have been much worse, thank god she sobered me up. I also thought about what I said to her last night, I know I over reacted on my part as well as hers. I just had so many thoughts after everything she told me , it made me need to express myself. When she didn't let me I kind of lost it. I never lose it.

I planned to go to the park today, too see the ducks and get my mind off of everything. I lay in bed thinking of everything that happened to me the night before, I also noticed that Rachel wasn't in her bed, she probably went to shower or went to one of those early morning vocal lessons of her. Thank go she didn't wake me up, I remember at the beginning of the year she would always wake me up because she told me that early rising would be good for my voice. I don't even sing, what was she thinking?

The clock read 11:42am, the means I had to get ready for class, which was about an hour from now. I had my dance critic in a couple of weeks and I really wanted to do well. I was almost at the top of my class other then this girl Missy who really bugged me but I tried not to let her bring me down. She just thought she was better then everyone else and I dislike those types of people, not hate never hate. Hate it a really strong word.

Just then I heard my phone buzz, I need to find it I always lose that thing. I get out of bed and start to look around the room, ugh I really hate when I lose it. Rachel told me I should put one of those phone trackers on it but I told her that I might just lose the tracker as well. I looked around a little more and find it in my ducky slipper; I don't know how it got in there.

My face instantly lights up.

Santana: Hey, sorry about last night. I didn't handle it really well but I meant what I said I want to be friends so can we hang out today?

She wanted to hang out! Okay I would rather go on a date with her but this is the next best thing.

Brittany: I'm sorry too! And yes we can hang out, I have class at 12:30 after that?

She instantly replied.

Santana: Of course! I need to by my cousin a bday present, come with? We'll do something better after :-)

Brittany: Awww cute! :D I'd love too! 3pm meet?

Santana: Perfect! Can't wait!

Brittany: Me either!

I couldn't wait! In just a couple of hours I would be hanging out with Santana, I really shouldn't tell Tina thought, I know exactly what she'd say and I wasn't about to let her try and stop me. These were going to be the longest hours of my life.

Santana's Point Of View

I realized that I over reacted a little last night, if Brittany would have told me the story I told her last night I would wanted to say something about it but I didn't let her, she had every right to be angry I just hope that when I see her she'll be able to forgive me. She didn't seem mad in her texts but they never show true emotion.

Truthly I was excited to see Brittany, to talk to her and just have her in my life. I was on my way to meet her right now, she text me a couple of minutes ago telling me where her class was; I was going to pick her up. I made sure to wear something nice, causal nice, something that would stand out and get Brittany to notice me. I decided on a red top that squeezed me in all the right places and short shorts. I was ready for this.

I saw her waiting for me when I arrived, Oh shit was I late, I thought. I rushed over towards her feelings bad inside, I didn't want to keep her waiting. She smiled and waved once she saw me, that made me feel a little better.

"Were you waiting long?"

"Yes, half an hour," my face dropped, I felt so bad. "San I'm kidding, class just ended like 2 minutes ago."

"That wasn't funny," I told her.

"Yeah it was, you should have seen you face," she right my face probably looked really funny but I just couldn't stand the thought of making Brittany wait.

"Whatever, you ready to go?"

"Of course."

"My cars just in the parking lot, we can take it too the store and then go to the park," I told her.

The car ride wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, it was actually nice. We had decent conversations, she told me about home and how she wanted to be a dancer when she grew up and maybe end up choreography some Broadway shows and I told her my dreams, she was one of the first people to actually pay full attention and seemed interested in them, it was nice.

We got to the store in good time once she realized that we were going to a kids toy store her eyes just light up like a small child on Christmas morning, it was the cutest thing. We bounced through the doors and took a look at all the toys, some people were shooting her weird looks but I made sure to give them my death look back. I was going to protect Brittany whether I was in a relationship with her or not, I cared about her and I didn't want her to get hurt.

That's when she saw the trampoline section; she looked back at me with excited eyes. I couldn't help but smile at her she looked too adorable.

"San can we go take a look! Please? I love trampolines, there so bouncy," she looked at me with pleading eyes, how could I say not to that.

"Sure Britt," I said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the section. My heart felt like it was banging against my ribcage, and I think I forgot to breathe for a second. I looked at Brittany and saw her smiling at me, that was enough to calm me down, I really hoped she hadn't heart how fast my heart was beating I felt like it was almost impossible for no one to hear it.

"Do you think that I can go on one? Do you think that would be aloud?" She asked anxious to get on one.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind and if they try to calm any trouble I'll be hear for you, you don't have to worry," if Brittany wanted to bounce I was going to let her. I wanted to make sure she had a good time with me.

"You're the best," she told me and I felt myself starting to blush.

Brittany then climbed up onto one of the trampolines and started bouncing around, I couldn't help but laugh, the excitement in her was so cute! It's like she could take any situation and make the best of everything. I watched her bounce up and down with the biggest grin I'd ever seen.

"Omg this is so much fun San!" She told me bouncing up and down; up and down it was hard for me to keep up. I had trouble watching her.

Suddenly she stopped bouncing for a second and looked at me, I looked back at her with a questioning look on my face. She bounced off the trampoline and landed right in front of me I jumped up a little, that surprised me.

"Will you bounce with me?" She asked, I looked around to see people looking at her bouncing, they most of them didn't seem to care too much but others gave her that weird look again which made me feel a little uncomfortable.

"Um, I don't know. I really would rather just stay on the ground, but you can keep going," she pouted which made my stomach sink, I hated how she had this effect on me. Santana Lope never gave into anyone, well until Brittany came along. She just made everything seem better.

"Pleaseeee!" She begged. I looked around at all the people again who had focused their attention on something other then us. I knew that once we started bouncing again they would look but all I wanted to do was make Brittany happy.

"You know what, I'll do it," I say getting up on the trampoline.

We started bouncing again and to my surprise it was actually really fun. I didn't think it was possible but Brittany's grin got even bigger and I couldn't help think of the fact that it had something to do with me. It started to blush again. I turned my attention off of Brittany for once second to regain my balance, I felt bare on the side next to me so I turned to Brittany only to realize she was bouncing from one trampoline to another.

"What are you doing?" I called after her.

"It's really fun! You should try it."

"You're going to get us kicked out," she didn't listen to me she just kept bouncing from one trampoline to another.

"You need to relax a little, it's fun," she looked at me I was really tense. It wasn't the fact I was worried about getting kicked out I was worried that she could fall and hurt herself.

"You could get hurt," I told her but she just smiled at me.

"Are you worried about me?" She said in a playfully voice. She looked at the worry in my eyes and then jumped off the trampoline to come stand next to me. "Okay, I'll stop, for you." She nudged me, was she flirting with me! I got tingles all up my arm.

"So what are you going to get your cousin?" She asked.

"I was thinking a stuffed animal or something, I'm not really sure. I'm not that good with picking out toys." I told her.

"Well it's a good thing you brought me, I'm the toy expert." She said looking quite proud of herself. I could tell she really knew her stuff.

"Are you?" I asked her.

"Yes, you stick with me and you'll have the best present ever for your cousin, now does she have a favorite animal or anything?" She asked.

"Um yeah, I think she really likes Pigs last time I checked," Brittany's eyes light up with happiness and if she was happy then so was I.

"Well then follow me," she grabbed my arm again and started dragging me to another part of the store, once again I got the tingles in my arm and my heart started to beat faster. I felt like my heart was exploding with happy fireworks, her blonde hair dangled over her shoulders and I knew that this was one of those perfect moments.

She brought me towards the stuffed animal section and to my amazement there were a lot of them. I never really go shopping in toys stores so this was quite a surprise for me, they had like every single animal you could think of. Brittany brought me over towards the Pig section of stuffed animals.

"Now just pick out the one you like, personally my favorites the one with the little scrunched up noise and it's no cute," she told me, she was right it was pretty cute.

"Then I'll take it, I'm sure if you like it then so will my cousin. I trust your judgment." I told her.

Brittany's eyes got wide and I could tell she was looking right past me at something else. I turned to look at whatever she was looking at. She ran towards another stuffed animal and grabbed hold of it. It was a duck, they was she held it and cuddled up to it was too adorable.

"Look at it San, isn't it so cute! Can I get it?" She asked me.

"Of course you can. You can get whatever you want," She jumped up and down and then tackled me into a big hug. This was my favorite thing, just to be inside her arms where I know its safe and warm. I wish I could be in her arms forever where she would just hold me tight and never let me go.

"This is the greatest! It's so cute, don't you think it's the cutest?" She asked me. I was about to answer when I heard someone scoff at her. I looked to see a man staring at her shaking his head. This was not okay with me.

"And what are you scoffing at?" I asked him angrily, he is not aloud to treat Brittany like that.

"Comes on, she's a little old to be loving a stuffed animal, she's not two anymore, its kind of pathetic," I looked over at Brittany who looked like she could break. I turned back to the man and got right up in his face.

"No you listen here. Brittany can do whatever the fuck she wants got that, it doesn't matter how old she is, if something makes her happy then that's all that matters and she doesn't need old men like you how've lost their inner child to tell her what she can and can't do, so hears how it's gonna work, you're going to apologize to my girl Britt right now before I go all lima heights on your ass and trust me buddy you do not want that." I made sure to make my point clear.

"You're not serious," was this guy joking. I looked him straight in the eye.

"I don't kid," I said as serious as possible, his expression changed from tough to kind of worried. He looked at me and realized that I wouldn't back down. Then her turned to Brittany.

"Sorry," he said before running off.

"Pathetic," I said under my breath. I turned back to Brittany who was once again smiling, thank god, I hated seeing her sad.

"So, I'm your girl," my eyes widened and I began so embarrassed, I hadn't realized I said that. I could feel my cheeks turning hot and my hands were getting sweaty.

"Uh, I... I was just kidding you know, um, to make a good speech," I told her.

"But I thought you don't kid?" She asked me again, great I really should watch what I say from now on.

"Don't use what I said to him against me," I said jokily. She couldn't help but smile.

"Well I thought you looked really tough, like my personal superhero," and once again I was blushing.

. .

A few hours later I was still with Brittany we had decided to go to the pond and watch the ducks along with her new stuffed duck I ended up buying for her. She wanted to pay for it but I insisted seeing I dragged her with me in the first place, she knew she would eventually she would end up losing the fight again me so she let me.

I watched the ducks swim in the water, they were so graceful and free, they didn't have a care in the world lucky little creatures. Brittany sat on the ground watching the ducks very closely, I sat down next to her and smiled because I couldn't believe she was this into ducks but that just made her Brittany and I didn't want her to be anyone else but herself.

"Can we feed the ducks?" Brittany asked me still keeping her focus on the ducks.

"I don't have anything with me," I felt bad for not having anything, I hated disappointing her.

"That's alright, I have some bread in my bag," she said reaching inside her bag and pulling out two slices of bread handing me one of them. I took it willingly; she then ripped it up and started feeding them. All at once they rushed towards her.

"Uh Britt, why do you have bread in your bag?" I asked very curious.

"Incase I get hungry. Like what if I'm just waking down the street and get hungry, what if there's no food store near me. I don't want to starve," she continues to amaze me.

"I guess you're right," I said with a laugh. "Come to think of it, I am a little hungry."

"I got you covered," Brittany told me as she pulled out an apple, some crackers and a packet of cookies and handed them to me. She then continued to dig in her bag and pulled out a carrot for herself. I looked at her strangely.

"What else do you have in there?" She practically had a whole fridge in there.

"Not much, just some chocolate bars and some blueberry's." She said.

"You have a feast in there." I said.

"Yeah well I have it in case of emergencies and well you were hungry so technically it counts as an emergency," how could I not like her, she was so adorable.

"Thanks Brit-Brit," I said.

This moment felt perfect, being here with her felt like all my problems had disappeared. I knew that I would have to get over her some time because I knew that it would hurt too much knowing I couldn't have her but for now I enjoyed the feeling, I enjoyed spending time with her.

Sorry it took a little long for this chapter, I had a little bit of writers block. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think!