Chapter Thirteen – Confessions

I stood in the meadow feeling nothing but absolute wonder. It was abundant with sweet-smelling flowers and heavenly sunlight and I took it all in as I waited silently, evening my breath, trying not to think of how much the scene was too eerily accurate to the one I had imagined of my coveted field of lilacs, (a place I had conjured in my head, where I'd dreamt I'd lose my virginity to a boy I loved. Bucket List; Number Fifty-Five).

I shuddered, despite the meadow's sunlit warmth, glad that Blaine could not read my thoughts. I was also overwhelmed that this meadow here was a lot better than my lilac fantasies and ohmygod what I would do if they come true.

I stood with my back toward him as he waited shirtless in the shadow of the trees. He instructed me to enjoy the serenity of the moment while he timed out to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to show me. No sooner had I lost myself, enjoying the rare Washington sunlight, and the perfumed flowers, that I felt him behind me as his fingers traced my shoulders, welcomed iciness seeping through the fabric of my shirt.

"Close your eyes for me, Kurt."

I sighed and did so, my carefully balanced breathing completely coming undone as I felt him undoing the top few buttons of my own shirt. He giggled quietly into the crook of my neck, "So many layers…" he whispered, leaving my shirt half unbuttoned, "It's time. Keep your eyes closed, count to three and then turn around…"

He removed his touch and I did as he said, turning around so slowly I barely felt myself move. I counted to three, afraid I counted too fast, and then counted to six instead just in case I had been.

I fluttered my eyes open. My jaw dropped.

Blaine in the sunlight was shocking. I realized two things in that moment: that this was something I would never get used to no matter how long I stared at him and that he was also the most devastatingly beautiful human being I had ever , or would ever, lay eyes on. He was staring at me intently but there was no smile on his face. He looked pained.

"Kurt, please say something. I'm not used to not knowing what one is thinking… If this is too much, I understand, please just tell me."

"I… I… I," was all I managed to splutter out, unable to coherently string anything together. He was glowing like an angel. It seemed as if diamonds were embedded in his now snow white translucent skin. The bluish outlines of his veins were now more prominent than ever.

"I knew it," he said sadly, when I still could not find any words; "You think I'm a monster."

The assumption immediately re-induced my forgotten speech. "What?" I said immediately shaking my head, mouth still open, "You couldn't be more further from the truth. You're… beautiful. Actually, beautiful doesn't even cut it. I don't think there's a word that exists for how incredibly overwhelmed I am by you right now."

"Hmm," he calculated, his eyes wandering away from mine in preference of the flowers surrounding us. "Would you do me the pleasure of also removing your shirt? I don't think I've ever felt more self-conscious."

I snorted. "Honestly…" I said, removing the last few closed buttons. "You have nothing to be self-conscious about."

A smirk finally evolved on his features making his angelic glowing appearance even more spell-bounding and radiant. His lips were moving so fast, it was like they were trembling. As a result, I couldn't quite make out what he was saying as he stared at me but I caught the words, "perfect," and "amazing," and "gorgeous," and I felt my ears go beet red.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he pressed.

"That the only thing that could top this moment is if we could go back to the fifties and watch Judy Garland perform live in concert."

That seemed to keep the smile on his face, "Will you lie with me, Kurt?"

"…Okay."

His back hit the grass before mine but that was owing to the fact that I preferred to sit propped up my elbows and stare at him as we fell into an easy conversation. My fingers trembled as I traced the contours of his chest and I knew he could feel it.

"Does this bother you at all?" I asked quietly.

"No," he answered immediately, "You can't imagine how it feels. I like this. It's so easy to be myself around you." His eyes which had been closed for some time now, shot open. "I have a confession to make."

"Yes?" I asked softly when he took too long a pause.

"I know you insisted that I stop but I might have, maybe, possibly… okay. I tuned in to Rachel's thoughts again."

"Blaine!" I said chastised; I was immediately annoyed. I sat upright and crossed my arms but he sat upright too and scooted closer over to me.

"Please…" he asked quietly holding out his hand. I didn't look at him and interlaced our fingers.

"This doesn't make me any less annoyed at you!"

"I know, I'm sorry, I can explain."

"Enlighten me." I said through pursed lips, still very much annoyed.

He sighed. "I… I was afraid."

Wait, what? Had I heard that correctly? This was so not the answer I had been expecting. "Afraid?" I repeated, "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid that I had pressured you into doing something you weren't ready for."

I was still confused, "Like what?"

His eyes shot down, staring intently at the grass. I didn't want to push him but I was getting impatient, "Blaine, you promised to explain. I'm listening, okay? Just tell me."

"In the car…" Blaine whispered, "You'd never even kissed anyone before me and…" he trailed off, turning his head completely away from mine altogether. I broke our hands apart and moved to touch his face bringing it closer to mine, forcing him to look at me.

"Blaine. Don't be silly. You didn't force me to do anything I wasn't ready for. So what if Rachel thought it was too fast? You should have been listening in on Lauren instead. Our relationship is our relationship. Nobody can define how fast we're going except us. I… I liked what happened. I was getting pretty sick of my hand to tell you the truth."

I blushed a deep red, unsure where my hidden confidence had suddenly surfaced from. At least he hadn't stopped looking at me. "Has Burt ever spoken to you about any of this stuff?"

My eyes grew wide, "No, no, no absolutely not. That is one conversation I never want to have ever."

"But it's a conversation you're going to have to have with someone eventually. And… I might know the mechanics of everything Kurt but I'm never going to feel comfortable unless you are."

"To be honest, I'm kinda feeling a little uncomfortable now."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not… you. It's the fact that I suddenly have the urge to shove my fingers in my ears and sing. Very loudly."

"Well, that I could live with because you have an amazing voice. But I am sorry this makes you uncomfortable. It's just… if we're going to continue to be intimate like that, I want us to be able to talk about it."

I mentally groaned. He may not have been able to read my thoughts but he could clearly sense I was unsettled. I decided to explain myself. I guess I owed him that much. "I don't really like talking about it. It gives me all sort of anxious thoughts and my brain turns into this nasty web of fear and nerves. You see, I'm what I like to refer to myself as a silly romantic. And right now, in this meadow, with you yes I may feel uncomfortable talking but there's a bigger urge inside me that just wants to tackle you to the ground and attach my lips to yours until I can't breathe anymore."

Oh shit.

I said that out loud, didn't I?

But Blaine was grinning. He found the whole thing rather amusing. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "As tempting as that is, I think there's something you should know first before you make up your mind. Where do I start? Okay. In a relationship, or to be more specific, in a relationship with two men romantically involved, there are going to be a lot of urges. It's natural and it feels really nice and there's nothing wrong with that but there presents a bit of a problem when the man you're romantically linked to is a vampire."

I rolled my eyes, "I think we've made it clear that your whole being a vampire thing is not a problem for me."

"I know," Blaine nodded, "And that's why it is a problem. Because I am not completely a man. And the instincts of an animal, which I am in part, means that my urges are a lot more stronger than you would normally ever have to deal with."

I raised an eyebrow. "I think I'll take my chances. Besides your urges won't stand a chance when I have as much sexual appeal as a baby penguin."

Blaine shrugged, "Well then, you're one very sexy penguin. Which makes me… what?" He lay back down against the grass again and I joined him, my head resting on his chest. A bird flew over us in the sky and I knew I had my answer.

"Okay, I don't care how cliché this is but… a bat."

"A bat? Really? You know that's just a myth, right?"

"Yes. But I also know that you've swooped down and saved me way more times than I care to count. And I'm not just talking about the times you physically saved me. After my Mom died in Lima, that was it for me. I had to be strong for Burt and I came to Forks but the emptiness was too overbearing. At least not until I met you. And since we're on the topic of confessions, I have something to admit to being afraid of too."

Blaine raised his hands above my hands stroking his fingers through my hair, "I don't want you to be afraid."

"Blaine," I said resigned, "The only thing I'm afraid of is losing you. I'm afraid that I like staying with you a lot more than I should."

"Yes," he said slowly, "It's really not in your best interests to be with me. I should have left long ago." He sighed, "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave," I mumbled pathetically.

"Well it's a good thing I'm being selfish then. Because I'm afraid I like staying with you a lot more than I should."

"So we're at a mutual understanding, then?" I asked, silently hopeful.

"Not entirely, no. It's not only your company I crave. Never forget that."

"I have sexual urges around you too, Blaine. I thought we established that."

"We did. But I wasn't talking about that either." Our eyes were locked on one another. When he dropped his gaze to stare down at my throat, I finally understood. He was talking about his diet of course, but then he said something that confused me.

"I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else."

"What do you mean?" I asked, "Don't all humans have the same blood? I know there are different types and stuff but it's all the same right?"

"Essentially, yes. But…. To a vampire, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac — and filled the room with its warm aroma — how do you think he would fare then?" We sat silently, looking into each other's eyes, trying to read each other's thoughts. He broke the silence first. "Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

"So what you're saying is… I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. "Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

"I should introduce you to Lord Tubbington then. Britt's convinced he's trying to kick off an ecstasy addiction."

"Ah yes. I see the two of us venturing to Addicts Anonymous meetings together, don't you? We'd become the finest of friends, I'd imagine."

We both laughed then, enjoying the innocence of the moment when it suddenly occurred to me. "Does it happen often?" I asked. "Your craving for heroin?"

He looked across the treetops, thinking through his response. "I spoke to my brothers about it." He still stared into the distance. "To Sam, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor." He glanced swiftly at me, his expression apologetic. "Sorry," he said.

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

He took a deep breath and gazed at the sky again. "So Sam wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as" — he hesitated, looking for the right word — "appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Puck has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other."

"And for you?"

"Never."

The word hung there for a moment in the warm breeze.

"What did Puck do?" I asked to break the silence.

It was the wrong question to ask. His face grew dark, his hand clenched into a fist inside mine. He looked away. I waited, but he wasn't going to answer.

"I guess I know," I finally said. "Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

He lifted his eyes; his expression was wistful, pleading.

"Would you ever want me to… I don't know… give you permission to, you know, if it got really hard to resist?" I couldn't believe what I was suggesting but I'd already made up my mind a long time ago that I would do anything for Blaine.

"No, no!" He was instantly contrite. "Of course there's always hope! I mean, of course I won't…" He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. "It's different for us, for you and me, I mean. Puck… these were strangers he happened across. And before he met Quinn, Puck was never able to resist sex with multiple women, let alone draining their blood. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as… practiced, as careful, as he is now. Obviously, he doesn't pine for other women now, being partnered to Quinn, but you can see what I mean now when I say we should be talking about… that."

He fell silent and watched me intently as I thought it through. "So if we'd met as strangers… oh, in a dark alley or something…" I trailed off.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and —" He stopped abruptly, looking away. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Will has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." He paused, scowling at the trees. He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. "You must have thought I was possessed."

"No. But I do remember thinking that I couldn't understand why you could hate me so quickly…"

"To me, it was like you were some kind of angelic-faced demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin… I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what it would do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…" He looked up then at my staggered expression as I tried to absorb his bitter memories. His golden eyes scorched from under his lashes, hypnotic and deadly. "You would have come," he promised.

I tried to speak calmly. "Without a doubt. I would have followed you."

"You would have followed me," he agreed. "And I would have bent you over and taken you before devouring you dry." He frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the force of his stare. "And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there — in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there — so easily I could have dealt with."

I shivered in the warm sun, seeing my memories anew through his eyes, only now grasping the danger. Poor Ms. Cope; I shivered again at how close I'd come to being inadvertently responsible for her death.

"But I resisted," Blaine continued. "I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong — and then I went straight to Will, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving." I stared in surprise, wanting to hear more.

"I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to go home, to face Emma. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary…" I couldn't make out the next part because he had spoken so very quietly but it sounded like he'd said that she would have given him one of her pamphlets.

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Emma, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little boy — he grinned suddenly as I raised my eyebrow at him — "to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…" He stared off into space.

I let him continue, saying nothing.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it. It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Rachel's mind… but her mind was focused entirely on herself and Finn and... And then I knew I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating." He frowned at the memory. "I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions… and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again… Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes."

He paused and I took this as my opportunity to mumble my thoughts, "My own personal Batman."

He smiled, "Ah, you think that now but, later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment— because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing our family for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not him. Not Kurt.'"

He closed his eyes, lost in his agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, even now, as he confessed his craving to take my life.

His eyes flashed up to mine. "In the hospital, I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power — you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." We both flinched as that word slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect," he continued quickly. "I fought with Quinn, Puck, and Sam when they suggested that now was the time… the worst fight we've ever had. Will sided with me, and Mercedes." He grimaced when he said her name. I couldn't imagine why. "Emma told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." He shook his head indulgently.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair… it hit me as hard as the very first day." He met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly tender.

"And for all that," he continued, "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here — with no witnesses and nothing to stop me — I were to hurt you."

I was human enough to have to ask. "Why?"

"Kurt." He pronounced my name carefully, and then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. "Kurt, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." He looked down, ashamed again. "The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable." He lifted his glorious, agonized eyes to mine. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

My head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of my impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. He waited, and even though I looked down to study our hands between us, I knew his golden eyes were on me. "You already know how I feel, of course," I finally said. "I'm here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." I frowned. "I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot," he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

"But I'm also your baby penguin." I admitted.

"And so Batman fell in love with a penguin…" he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled at his mention of the 'L' word.

"What a stupid penguin," I sighed.

"What a stupid metaphor." He laughed, loud and resonating into the shadowy forest. I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.

"How do I make this easier for you?" I wondered out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

He shifted uneasily. I don't think there's anything you can do. You can't help the smell of your throat." He stopped short, looking to see if he'd upset me.

"Okay, then," I said flippantly, trying to alleviate the suddenly tense atmosphere. I tucked my chin. "No throat exposure." It worked; he laughed. "No, really," I pressed, "This is good. I have a guilt free excuse to make good use of my Chanel scarf collection."

He raised his free hand and placed it gently on the side of my neck. I sat very still, the chill of his touch a natural warning — a warning telling me to be terrified. But there was no feeling of fear in me. There were, however, other feelings… My blood was racing, and I wished I could slow it, sensing that this must make everything so much more difficult — the thudding of my pulse in my veins. Surely he could hear it.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," he murmured. He gently freed his other hand. My hands fell limply into my lap. Softly he brushed my cheek, and then held my face between his marble hands.

"Be very still," he whispered, as if I wasn't already frozen.

Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold lips against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if I'd wanted to. I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his curly hair, more human than any other part of him. With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didn't pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, and then stopped. His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest.

Listening to my heart.

"Ah," he sighed. "Still the most beautiful sound in the world."

I don't know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the throb of my pulse quieted, but he didn't move or speak again as he held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end — so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldn't make myself be afraid. I couldn't think of anything, except that he was touching me. He slowly raised his head again, pressing light kisses to my chest, trailing slowly, snail-paced, down to the small bulge I had managed to raise in my pants.

"I'm sorry!" I said quickly, abashed at my sudden emotions. I turned on my side but no sooner had I moved that I felt him cuddle up beside me in the grass. He held me tightly pressing into me even more so and tilted his hips just at an angle that meant his length was pressed up against me.

"Don't apologize," he whispered, breathing into my ear, as I remained in his grasp.

And then, too soon, he released me. I turned on my other side now facing him. His eyes were peaceful.

"See," he mocked. "I can control both my vampiric urges and my sexual desires."

"Maybe," I muttered, "But I can't control my teenage ones."

And then, not knowing what overcame me, I cradled his face and pressed my lips against his. For just a moment, I was anticipating his rejection but quite the contrary, Blaine deepened the kiss as I gave into my urges sucking his bottom lip as I moaned at his touch and the vanilla flavor of his taste.

"Here," I encouraged taking his hand and placing it just below the belt of my pants. "Do you feel how warm it is?" He nodded as I in turn pressed kisses to his throat. "Don't move," I whispered, as I hovered over on top of him, my knees on either side of his legs.

No one could be still like Blaine. He closed his eyes and became as immobile as stone, a carving under me. I moved even more slowly, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. His lips parted under my hand, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertips. I leaned in, inhaling the scent of him, pressing my lips to his again and resulting in our chest to chest contact. I could feel the need build up in my erection now and I slowly pressed my length against his.

He opened his eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send my pulse hammering through my veins again. I was really hard now.

"I wish," he whispered through kisses, through his hands roaming my hair and down my back, "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. That you could understand." He lowered his hands to my ass, and then firmly squeezed my cheeks.

"Tell me," I breathed. I grinded down on him again, causing him to moan.

"I don't think I can," — he half-smiled, trying his best not to thrust his hips up at me — "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely. But…" His fingers touched my lips lightly, making me shiver again. There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me." He squeezed my ass again and I moaned even lighter sucking his neck and rubbing our lengths even more firmly pressed against each other now.

"I may understand that better than you think." I told him, and his mouth parted slightly open as I insinuated exactly what I meant.

"I'm not used to feeling so human," he panted. "Is it always like this?"

"For me?" I paused. "No, never. Never before this." He clad his iron strength around me and flipped us over so that he was hovering above me.

"I don't know how to be close to you," he admitted, bringing his lips to my neck now, pressing lighter than ever before. "I don't know if I can," he whispered. He leaned forward very slowly, looking for any signs of resistance in my eyes. I placed my hands through his hair and kissed him again. We stayed like that, our tongues dancing, for a long time.

I finally broke for air. "What we're doing now," I sighed, closing my eyes. "This is enough."

In a very human gesture, he put his arms around me and pressed his face against my hair. "You want more." He said plainly. "I don't know if I'm any good."

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," I noted. "And you were plenty good last time."

"Kurt…" he said, "I… I have human instincts — they may be buried deep, but they're there. But I still need instruction… Tell me what you need me to do."

We lay like that for another immeasurable moment; I wondered if I could be so confident.

"Use your instincts…" I whispered.

He nodded once. And that was it. Slowly, very slowly, he raised his head and lowered himself down, wrapping his fingers around the buckle of my pants.

"Are you sure?" he asked without needing to.

"Actually… wait. We did this last time. I… I want to… try it the other way around."

"Kurt?"

I pressed my hands against his chest, gesturing to where he was before. "Lay down for me again," I encouraged.

"Okay."

With as much dexterity as I could have mustered, and incessantly hoping that I would not embarrass myself, I loosened his belt, tossing the unwanted thing aside and lowering his pants. He breathed a sigh of relief at the lessened pressure on his erection and in that moment an overwhelming desire took over me seeing him so ready for me.

"If I'm going to lie here naked," he panted through even more urgent kisses now, "It's only fair that you remove your clothes too."

"I think… I think I can beseech that request…" I clambered off him and slowly stood, wanting to rip all my clothes off but instead taking my time, stripping each piece of clothing gently, watching in favor as his eyes roamed my body favorably as each piece of clothing was removed.

"Kurt…" he begged, "…Please."

When I was satisfied I had teased him enough, I dropped to my knees and ghosted my breath against his penis. Unable to contain myself I began stroking him with my hand simultaneously as I began to lick a wet trail on his cock from base to tip. He began to shake under me. The freedom that we had out here in the meadow was a lot more welcoming than the restraints of the car we had been faced with when we had first surrendered to intimacy.

I had never had to give a blowjob before, never even kissed a guy till I met Blaine, never even told anyone I was gay till I had come to Forks, but now that Blaine's cock was in my mouth there was only one thing to be said.

"Guess I can empathize with you now. Looks like I've found my addiction."

I experimentally bopped the tip with my lips, careful not to graze my teeth on him, (his iron stamina be damned I knew teeth were not an option), before I sank further and further down. I had a good part of it in my mouth and now that I had crossed that barrier I couldn't believe I'd never done it before.

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled out just as the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat and then I was suddenly filled with his come, swallowing all of it, vaguely remember reading in Cosmopolitan that one should never swallow a guy's come in the first go but this was so not the time to be thinking that. Blaine was spent when I was done, his breathing erratic and short. "C'mere," he mumbled requesting that I be closer to him. I wiggled closer to his face and he met me with a long passionate kiss, eager to taste himself from within the confines of my mouth.

Slowly, our lips never parting, he turned me on my side and I let out a hiss as my own breathing hitched when he finally took care of me, palming me off with his skilled hand, rubbing the pre-come that was dripping from my own cock over the slit and rubbing up and down faster than I would have thought anyone capable. The cool on warm sensations were all familiar now and the smell of the flowers and the glow of the sunlight were all perfect but it was Blaine's diamond set incandescent features, that look of lust and want in golden eyes, that had me teetering over the edge and coming so hard, I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a split second before my head collapsed onto his chest and I surrendered to whatever power overtook me.

~.~

"Kurt? C'mon baby, it's time to wake up. It'll be dark soon…"

I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay in the meadow with Blaine forever. But I could see the light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to touch us, and I sighed. He held my shoulders and I looked into his face. "Can I show you something?" he asked, sudden excitement flaring in his eyes.

"Show me what?"

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." He saw my expression. "Don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.

"Will you turn into a bat?" I asked teasingly.

He laughed, louder than I'd ever heard. "Come on, climb on my back." I waited to see if he was kidding, but, apparently, he meant it. He smiled as he read my hesitation, and reached for me. My heart reacted; even though he couldn't hear my thoughts, my pulse always gave me away. He then proceeded to sling me onto his back, with very little effort on my part, besides, when in place, clamping my legs and arms so tightly around him that it would choke a normal person. It was like clinging to a stone.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," I warned.

"Hah!" he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolling. I'd never seen him in such high spirits before. He startled me, suddenly grabbing my hand, pressing my palm to his lips and offering one small kiss to the back of my palm.

And then he was running.

He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a ghost. There was no sound, no evidence that his feet touched the earth. His breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches.

I was too terrified to close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane in flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness.

Then it was over. We'd hiked hours this morning to reach Blaine's meadow, and now, in a matter of minutes, we were back to the truck.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" His voice was high, excited.

He stood motionless, waiting for me to climb down. I tried, but my muscles wouldn't respond. My arms and legs stayed locked around him while my head spun uncomfortably.

"Kurt?" he asked, anxious now.

"Wow," I gasped.

He chuckled quietly to himself but I still couldn't move.

"I think I need help," I admitted. He laughed again, and gently unloosened my stranglehold on his neck. There was no resisting the iron strength of his hands. Then he pulled me around to face him, cradling me in his arms like a small child. He held me for a moment, and then carefully placed me on the springy ferns.

"How do you feel?" he asked, still smiling.

"Well… it was very interesting."

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost — no, you're as white as me!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" I groaned.

He laughed, his mood still radiant.

"Show-off," I muttered.

"Open your eyes, Kurt," he said quietly.

And he was right there, his face so close to mine. His beauty stunned my mind — it was too much, an excess I couldn't grow accustomed to.

"I was thinking, while I was running…" He paused.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope."

He chuckled. "Running is second nature to me; it's not something I have to think about."

"Show-off," I muttered again.

He smiled. "So I was saying," he continued, "I was thinking, while I was running… of how much I loved you."

And he took my face in his hands again. I couldn't breathe. He hesitated — not in the normal way, the human way. Blaine hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his urges. And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

He held out his hand to me. "Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his seraphic face untroubled. He was a different Blaine than the one I had known. And I was thinking of how much I loved him too.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," I managed to respond. "I think it's some of both, though."

"Maybe you should let me drive."

"Are you insane?" I protested.

"I can drive better than you on your best day," he teased. "You have much slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Kurt." My hand was in my pocket, curled tightly around the key. I pursed my lips, deliberated, and then shook my head with a tight grin. "Nope. Not a chance." He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. I started to step around him, heading for the driver's side. He might have let me pass if I hadn't wobbled slightly. Then again, he might not have. His arm created an inescapable snare around my waist.

"Kurt, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, it would be reckless to let you drive drunk," he finished with a chuckle. I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.

"Drunk?" I objected.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." He was grinning and using that playful smirk again.

"I can't argue with that," I sighed. There was no way around it; I couldn't resist him in anything. I held the key high and dropped it, watching his hand flash like lightning to catch it soundlessly. "Take it easy — my truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible," he approved.

"And are you not affected at all?" I asked, irked. "By my presence?"

Again his mobile features transformed, his expression became soft, warm.

He didn't answer at first; he simply bent his face to mine, and brushed his lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.

"Regardless," he finally murmured, "I have better reflexes."

~.~

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've had heaps of uni assessments due and still have a lot of work to do for uni. The only break I've had from it was to watch ep15 Big Brother. That episode plus all your glowing reviews is what has enabled me to get this posted! So keep them coming and I'll do my best to have another chapter out soon! Thank you so much for your support!