Chapter Fourteen – Mind over Matter

Part Two

Note: Burt is still referred to as Burt Hummel as only Kurt changed his name to Swan as he explains to Blaine in an earlier chapter. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Blaine walked beside me so quietly that I had to keep looking at him constantly to make sure he was still there. In the darkness he appeared different. His inhuman features still prominently stood out in contrast against his human ones, but glowing beside me in the moonlight he appeared much more of a man then I had ever seen him look.

When we got to the door, ever the gentleman, he immediately opened it for me.

"The door was unlocked?" I asked surprised. My shock however, was short-lived as a grin spread across his face, "No. I borrowed the key from under the pot plant."

I raised an eyebrow, "I don't recall telling you it was there," I huffed, "And even I know you don't have x-ray vision."

He shrugged, "Maybe I do."

"Are you sure you're a vampire and not one of the X-Men?"

"Again with the comic book theories…"

I rolled my eyes, "Very funny. Are you going to tell me how you figured it out or are we gonna stand out here for the rest of the evening?"

He answered my question with another. "What else is there to do at night?"

Confused, I let it go for a moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture him in. As he fumbled with the key in his hand, it finally hit me.

"You've been spying on me."

His eyes met mine immediately, "I've been getting a lot more sleep since I've met you. But sometimes, it doesn't come so easy."

I concentrated on getting my dinner, taking last night's lasagna from the fridge, placing a square on a plate, heating it in the microwave, while I poured some milk. The smell of the lasagna heating up filled the kitchen with the aroma of tomato and oregano courtesy of my excellent cooking skills. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke.

"How often?" I asked casually.

"Hmmm?" He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.

I still didn't turn around. "How often do you come here? It isn't exactly a very human thing to do, you know."

He looked crestfallen. "No, you're right, it's not. I guess it is borderline stalking really. But to answer your question - I come here almost every night. Although… I hardly think you can blame me. You're very interesting when you sleep." I raised an eyebrow as he spoke matter-of-factly. "You talk."

"…What?" I asked, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. It suddenly didn't matter that he couldn't read my thoughts because knowing he had heard me talk in my sleep felt invasive. I knew I did talk in my sleep, of course; Burt had that talk with me after Mom had died. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about in Forks, though.

His expression shifted. "Are you angry with me?"

"No!" I said but it felt and sounded like I was. "It's just – this is embarrassing! I mean I knew it happened but to think you found out by stalking me, Blaine? Ugh. You need to start living in the twenty-first century. I'm crazy about you – but I'd like to know that I'm still entitled to some human privacy."

His eyes were downcast. "I'm sorry," he said and it was so sincere I felt my heart drop. "Please, don't be upset." Instinctively, I took his hands, choosing my words carefully. "Look… we'll find another way to help you sleep. And if you're really sorry, I think I know how you can make it up to me."

"How?" he asked at once, immediately reaching my eyes with his gaze. His chained expression made me laugh.

" Well - you can tell me what you heard for starters." Honestly, I was still embarrassed. But I was even more eager to find out what I had said.

His face relaxed at my request. "You miss your mother," he whispered. "You repeat her name often. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about Lima a lot, and escaping to New York, but it's less often now. You mainly talk about Elizabeth. You must have really loved her heels." He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, as to not to offend me any further.

" Was there anything else?" I demanded. He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. "Just the once?"

"I didn't really count, exactly…"

"Oh no!" I hung my head. He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally. "Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "I wasn't lying when I said that all my dreams of late, regardless of their nature, have been about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in his arms.

"Does Burt know I'm here?" he asked as Dad's key turned in the door. "I know you said it was okay for me to come in but…"

"I'm not sure…" I tried to think it through quickly. Had I mentioned that Blaine would be coming over? Would Burt care? We hadn't really talked about it. He had said he wanted Blaine to come inside when he picked me up from school in the morning but I wasn't sure if Blaine being here now would bother him. And Blaine was right – I had suggested it. My thought process however was obviously not fast enough. Burt was seconds away from the kitchen.

"Kurt?" he called.

"In here!" I hoped he couldn't hear the hysterical edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as he walked in. His footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Blaine. Blaine took the seat next to me.

"Can you get me some of that? It's been a heck of day." He stepped on the heels of his boots to take them off, holding the back of my chair for support. Only then did he realize. "Oh hey, Blaine! I didn't realize you were coming round?"

"I hope I'm not overstepping, Mr. Hummel. Kurt did say it would be all right."

"'Course it is." Burt confirmed, "Though Kurt, do you mind maybe giving the heads up next time you invite over the boyfriend? We don't have anything to feed this boy but leftover lasagna!"

"It's okay," Blaine insisted, "It was lovely. Here, let me get you help you with that fish."

He rose swiftly, despite Burt's protests and I ate my food silently as I watched Blaine then get Burt his dinner.

"So you really must like to fish a lot, Mr. Hummel."

"Sure do," Burt said, "Best part is when it's cooked though. Kurt works some miracles with that fish."

Blaine nodded, "I'm certain that he does."

"Thanks," Burt said as Blaine placed his food on the table.

"How was your day?" I asked, my voice faltering slightly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Blaine it's just I thought it'd be okay because you guys don't get to talk much."

Burt looked at me, eyebrow raised. "Okay, Kurt? Stop being so nervous. I'm glad you brought Blaine round. I want to see more of the kid who's making my son happy. God knows you see enough of Carole. Now – to answer your question, my day was good. Even convinced Artie to come out and the fish were really biting… but what about you two? Did you have fun doing… whatever it is you guys got up to?"

"We really did. Blaine is the perfect gentleman. And it was a lovely day." I took another big bite.

"It really was a nice day," he agreed. What an understatement, I thought to myself.

Finished with the last bit of lasagna, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my milk.

Burt surprised me by being observant. "You two in a hurry to go somewhere?"

"No, we both had a big day. We might just head up to my room and watch old movies."

"It's Saturday night," he mused. "Why would you kids want to stay indoors?"

I couldn't find the right words but Blaine easily stepped in for me, "I guess Kurt and I are just old-fashioned."

"Fair enough," Burt seemed to accept, "Guess you should probably both wait till college for that kind of lifestyle."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," I said sarcastically as I headed up the stairs with Blaine.

"Door open!" he called out after us.

I rolled my eyes but did as he said as we got into my room. I headed for the DVD player immediately, "Okay, our Cary Grant black and white movie marathon can officially begin! Do you want to start with North by Northwest or To Catch A Thief?"

He didn't answer straightaway. He was sitting across my bed, his hands behind his head; his feet dangling off the end, the picture of ease.

"Blaine?" I whispered, feeling completely idiotic.

"Why don't you sit with me for a bit?" he suggested, extending his cold hand out to mine.

"Okay."

We sat there for a moment in silence; I'm sure Blaine could hear my heart beating loudly though. Even with the door open, I thought about having Blaine in my room with my father in the house. I could hear the sound from the TV rising up the stairs so I knew Burt wouldn't come up to bother me, or probably wouldn't want to, even if he had requested the open door.

"I might just go quickly go for a shower, if that's okay?"

He nodded, "I'll be right here." He relaxed on my bed, still as a statue.

I meant to hurry. I brushed my teeth fiercely, trying to be thorough and speedy, removing all traces of lasagna. But the hot water of the shower couldn't be rushed. It unknotted the muscles in my back, calmed my pulse.

The familiar smell of my shampoo made me feel like I might be the same person I had been this morning. I tried not to think of Blaine, sitting in my room, waiting, because then I had to start all over with the calming process. I shut off the water, toweling hastily, rushing again. Thank God I had made sense to pack the Victoria's Secret silk pajamas I had bought for myself. They might have looked feminine to some but - Fashion knows no gender.

I rubbed the towel through my hair again, and then brushed my hair quickly, pulling the brush through my hands gently with a little gel. I was itching to use the hairspray but I was scared of how obvious it would be if I was using it and I didn't want Blaine laughing at me.

Out in my room, Blaine hadn't moved a fraction of an inch. He sat there, seemingly taking me in with his eyes. He raised one eyebrow. "Nice."

I grimaced.

"No, it looks good on you."

"Thanks," I whispered. I went back to his side, sitting cross-legged beside him. I looked at the lines in the wooden floor. "So I was wondering…" I began, but his fingers were slowly tracing my collarbone, and I lost my train of thought.

"Yes?" he breathed.

"Why is it that…" my voice shook, embarrassing me, "…that it seems you find it so much easier to be around me, do you think?"

I felt the tremor of his breath on my neck as he laughed.

"Mind over matter."

I pulled back; as I moved, he froze — and I could no longer hear the sound of his breathing. We stared cautiously at each other for a moment, and then, as his clenched jaw gradually relaxed, his expression became puzzled.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No — the opposite. You're driving me crazy," I explained.

He considered that briefly, and when he spoke, he sounded please. "Really?" A triumphant smile slowly lit his face.

"Would you like a round of applause?" I asked sarcastically.

He grinned. "I'm just pleasantly surprised," he clarified. "In the last hundred years or so," his voice was teasing, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…"

"But how can it be so easy now?" I pressed. "This afternoon… when we…"

"It's not easy," he sighed. "But this afternoon, I was still… I am sorry about that; it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not quite," I disagreed.

"Thank you… You see," he continued, looking down now, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" He picked up one of my hands and pressed it lightly to his face. "Because it's not just your blood I crave. And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome" — he breathed in the scent at my wrist — "I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

I'd never seen him struggle so hard for words. It was so… human.

"So there's no possibility now?"

"Mind over matter," he repeated, smiling, his teeth bright even in the darkness.

"Wow, that was easy," I said.

He threw back his head and laughed, quietly as a whisper, but still exuberantly.

"Easy for you!" he amended, touching my nose with his fingertip. "It doesn't help that you're incredibly beautiful."

And then his face was abruptly serious. "I'm trying," he whispered, his voice pained. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

I scowled. "You're being dramatic, Blaine. I keep telling you, where that department is concerned that you have more need to worry about how I'm going to keep control of staying away from you."

He laughed. "I suppose… but keeping in control from your blood will be harder tomorrow. I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized to it. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think. But this craving for your body…"

"Don't go away, then," I responded, unable to hide the longing in my voice.

"That suits me," he replied, his face relaxing into a gentle smile. There was a small pause. "Kurt? I need to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Can you teach me how to live with the human emotion that's been defined as jealously?"

I couldn't help it – I laughed. "Blaine, whatever in the world are you feeling jealous about?"

He couldn't quite meet my gaze. "I don't like the way some of the male student body looks at you."

I raised an eyebrow. "You have got to be kidding, right? I thought we established that I have as much sexual appeal as a baby penguin."

Blaine shook his head. "No. That's what you established up all on your own. I happen to think you're very sexy, yet for some reason, it's very complicated to explain how I'm not the only one. Kurt… I implore of you, please tell me how, I might have the strongest urges, but I am never the only one at any given time who wants to devour you in more ways than one…"

"…You're being overdramatic again," I whispered, because Blaine's words had somehow caught in my throat. "They can look all they want, whether or not I notice it, because what they all fail to realize – what you fail to realize – is that an any given time I am only yours. Always, only yours."

I knew I was sounding like an actor out of a Shakespearean novel but I was a complete sucker for romance and, right now, admitting these things to Blaine Cullen, in my bed, was driving me into complete ecstasy.

"So…" I said, my voice still a whisper, "When did you first realize your jealously was becoming a problem?"

Blaine held me that much tighter when he answered. "Oh that's easy. That would be the first night I came here to watch you. It was then, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I had been, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to a boy from school, or someone like him. It made me angry."

I snorted.

"And then," he whispered back, ignoring me, "...as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart. "So this jealousy thing… it's a strange feeling. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational…!" He shook his head angrily.

"It'll pass," I promised.

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," I teased, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Quinn — Quinn, the incarnation of pure beauty, Quinn — was meant for you. Puck or no Puck - even throw aside the fact that she's a woman - what if Will had introduced you to someone else of your kind, someone who was more exclusive to our lifestyle? How would I compete with that?"

"There is no competition." His teeth gleamed. He drew my trapped hands around his back, holding me to his chest. I kept as still as I could, even breathing with caution.

"I know there's no competition," I mumbled into his cold skin. "I'm fabulous, that's the problem."

Blaine smiled. "I know how it might seem to you that being introduced to someone of my kind could be a threat to you but they could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." He was serious now, thoughtful. "For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because - you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair," I whispered, my face still resting on his chest, listening to his breath come and go. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," he agreed with amusement. "I should make this harder for you, definitely." He freed one of his hands, released my wrist, only to gather it carefully into his other hand. He stroked my wet hair softly, from the top of my head to my waist. "You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to risk your virginity every single moment that you're with me. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… on your hopes and dreams, of going to New York… what's that worth?"

He was right. I was all for my hopes and dreams. Was I really ready to give all of that up? "I don't feel deprived of anything."

"Not yet." And his voice was abruptly full of ancient grief.

I tried to pull back, to look in his face, but his hand locked my wrists in an unbreakable hold. He lowered his lips to mine and I accepted the kiss gracefully eager to kiss him back but the moment was short-lived.

"Blaine, what —" I started to ask, when his body became alert and he swiftly resumed into a sitting position right next to me, suddenly releasing my hands as he whispered, "Burt's coming!"

At the news, I narrowly avoided falling on my face in my attempt to sit up and grab one of the DVDs that were still sprawled on my bed.

Burt peeked in through the doorway, staring at the two of us looking at our choice of Cary Grant DVDs with a smile on his face. Little did he know that we had long forgotten them. He cleared his throat. "I'm about to head to sleep myself, but without sounding rude here, Blaine, I think it's best if you were out by midnight. I wouldn't want Will and Emma to worry."

"Sure thing, Mr. Hummel. Thank you, sir."

A long minute passed. "Well, goodnight then. I'm closing the door halfway but you can only shut it once Blaine's gone. No funny business, okay?"

"Oh my God… Dad!"

But Blaine's cool arm was around me, comforting me gently. "Of course, sir. Good night, Mr. Hummel."

Dad nodded and left the room. I immediately exhaled. "I am so sorry for that. Like I said, I've never had a boyfriend before. This is new for him too."

"No need to apologize," Blaine insisted, "I like that you have a father who cares deeply for you."

He started humming a melody I didn't recognize; it sounded like a lullaby. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," I laughed. "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," he reminded me.

"But I didn't know you were here," I replied icily. "And I thought we agreed, you shouldn't be doing that anymore! Tonight should be about helping you fall asleep."

"Yes, but I don't need to sleep."

"So if you don't want to sleep…" I said, my tone suggestive.

"If I don't want to sleep… ?" he chuckled. "What do you want to do then?"

I couldn't answer at first. "I want to kiss you."

His head tilted and he looked at me carefully. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," he repeated, "Kiss me, Kurt."

We kissed for a long time after that. I kept pausing, afraid that Burt was going to run in hear with his shotgun but that never happened. Eventually, the need to slow things down became quite evident so I distracted my teenage thoughts with my eagerness to know more about his family.

"Why is it that you and Mercedes are different to the rest of your family? How is it that you can read minds and she can see the future?"

I was lying on his chest as he played with my hair. I'd never felt more comfortable or relaxed. I could feel the coolness of his abs seeping through his shirt.

"We don't really know." Blaine answered "Will has a theory though. He believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified — like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Mercedes had some precognition, wherever she was."

"So then what till Will bring when he changed? And what about the others in your family?"

"Will brought his compassion. Emma brought her ability to love passionately. Puck brought his strength, Quinn her… tenacity. Sam is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him — calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift." I considered the impossibilities he described, trying to take it in. He waited patiently while I thought.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Will changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…"

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that the world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby penguin and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight — I'm the baby penguin, right?"

"Right." He laughed, and felt his lips on my hair.

I wanted to turn toward him, but we had been doing so much kissing that I had to be good; I didn't want to make this any harder for him than it already was.

"Are you ready to sleep?" he asked, interrupting the short silence. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…" he reminded me.

I smiled, "Just one more question for tonight…" I asked, literally pouting, and he nodded, giving in.

"I want to know if your human instincts… Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?"

He laughed and lightly rumpled my nearly dry hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a man," he assured me. "Now! I've answered your last question, Kurt. You should sleep," he insisted. "If you promise to get some rest, I promise to lie beside you and attempt the same. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you want me to leave?"

"No!" I said too loudly.

He laughed, and then began to hum that same, unfamiliar lullaby; the voice of an archangel, soft in my ear. "Softly, love, we don't want to wake up, Burt."

More tired than I realized and exhausted from the long day, I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.

A/N: Hey guys, just a few things:

- If you haven't yet checked out 'United States of Kurt' by CountingCrow16 please do so, it's fab!

- If you would like to view fanart for the above fic you may do at paperstylehearts dot deviantart dot com. You DON'T need an account on there to leave a comment so feel free to do so!

And lastly… what did you think of this chapter? Is it worth another update? Please review! (A HUGE thank you to everyone who did so on the last chapter :)

I'm trying to contain myself, but this fic is almost on a hundred reviews! I have never, ever, had a fic reach that mark so maybe if it does - well, I don't know, it's never happened before! Special mention to the reviewer who makes the 100th review in the next chapter!

Much love,

paperstylehearts