Chapter XVIII: Wish You Were Here
The sunlit home was a bleak place without her. It was warm. There was Poe to keep him company. Yet, it was so very lonely. He found it hard to spend time there without her. It was just too strange. Not only was her house different; he was different as well. It was like all the newly found joy he had was gone.
A part of him must have detached itself and followed her, because he was incomplete. He held the shining silver blades up to his eyes, and inspected them with a furrowed brow. It was a different kind of incomplete feeling than what he was used to. It wasn't being physically incomplete. It was his soul. A piece of it had been torn out, and it left a jagged painful black hole in its place.
With a sigh, he carefully took the photograph out of his pocket for the umpteenth time. Pinching it carefully between two blades, he held it up in front of his face. He again inspected the picture Vee had taken of them. He almost laughed at the memory of it. She had leaned in close to him, until their foreheads were touching, then she held her camera out in front of their faces. She had yelled 'smile' unnecessarily; he never could help the happy grin he always wore in her presence. After the blinding light, he had uncontrollably blinked while she had giggled at his reaction. The picture was a poor substitute for her, yet all he had to hold onto. "I miss you Vee," he said aloud, and carefully put the photo back in his pocket.
He forced himself to go over to the couch and sit down; he had spent far too much time pacing back and forth and waiting for her return. Almost as soon as his legs formed a lap, Poe was there on top of it. He purred and looked up into Edward's eyes. He placed a paw on Edward's chin, while peering into his eyes. He gave the caring kitty a small smile. "Thank you Poe, I will be alright." Poe, seeming like he understood, was satisfied enough to make a couple circles on his lap before settling down. He closed his eyes and slept.
Edward let Poe peacefully sleep on his lap for a few hours, until it started to get dark outside. Gently nudging the cat off his legs, he stood up. The house was getting dark, and Vee was due back today, yet still wasn't here. He paced for a while, and then couldn't stand it any longer. Maybe she wasn't coming back today after all.
He decided to go home and try to sleep. Maybe if he was unconscious, time would pass more quickly, and it would be that much closer to when he could see her again. As he walked to the back door, he doubled back to the front. He flicked the light switch to the outside light on...just in case she came home tonight. He paused at the light over the kitchen sink, and did the same.
He walked out the back door, and then stuck a blade in the keyhole and turned it until he heard the lock click into place. He glanced at Poe through the living room windows. He was still cuddled up and sleeping safe and sound on the couch. He let out a long sigh, creating a foggy spot on the cold glass.
Turning around, he walked up the hill, and into his house. He smiled at the sight of Vee's cello case on the floor. She had left it there for some time, preferring to practice within the acoustics of the room. It was like he had these souvenirs of her. Things that reminded him of her, that really just tortured him in her absence.
He had spent most of the day in self doubt. It was easy letting his imagination run wild when she wasn't around to reassure him with the way she looked at him. Without that constant reminder, he started to really wonder if he was just making things up. Things that he wished were true, and wanted to believe in so badly. He just wished she was there with him so much. If she were, then he could stop feeling this way. Stop the lonely ache that had been living inside him for days.
The melancholy he felt was too much for him to endure any further. He walked all the way up the stairs to his room. He put his sheath gloves on, pulled the layers of blankets that Vee gave him back, and crawled into bed. He snuggled into the blankets, waiting for them to warm him up from the freezing cold night and his freezing cold house. The blankets that she thoughtfully gave him, and that provided so much comfort and warmth. The blankets that were yet another souvenir. He shut his eyes and forced himself to fall asleep.
He should have stayed awake. He was further tormented in his sleep from awful nightmares. Nightmares of him losing Vee. Of never seeing her beautiful face again. Of the gnawing black hole getting bigger, until it consumed him, and he was no more.