"Ugh!" I came home and threw myself onto my bed just lying there hoping all my memories would go away. I had just come back from class and the lecture really didn't help me forget about my life problems at the moment. Our professor talked about how one error in life could affect the rest of it for better or worse. We were learning about the philosophies of life and how one action could change our whole life. Yes, I had to take a philosophy class in order to take dance, which was unfortunate.

He told us a story about a young girl who was really lazy and would be happy sitting at home for the day searching through the Internet. One day this girl really wanted a snack, a healthy snack so she went to her fridge to get an apple, which unfortunately she didn't have. The girl decided to get into her car and drive to the nearest grocery store. While driving she got caught up into some traffic, she had two choices now. She could wait along with all the rest of the cars or turn around and go to the other grocery store on the other end of town.

The girl decided to turn around and drive to the other grocery store. Once there she reached the apples, but noticed there was only one left on the shelf. She quickly reached the apple picking it up, only to discover a man standing there wanting the same apple. The girl decided to have a kind heart and gave the man the apple, which lead to her getting his number and a few years down the road they were married with kids.

Now what would have happened if the girl hadn't gotten in her car and drove to the store, what would have happened if she waited in the traffic and went to the other grocery store or if she had taken the apple for herself and walked off. She probably would have never met her husband and who knows what her life would be like. One action can change our whole life.

I kept thinking about this story, about his whole lecture. I'm scared because I thought about the mistake I had made with Santana, I couldn't stop thinking how stupid I was for believing Tina. My professor said that one mistake or action could make or break anything, and I couldn't stop thinking about the breaking part. From this mistake I could have broken my whole relationship with Santana, and that thought was tearing me apart.

I hadn't talked to Santana since the fight which happened to be five days ago, I'm letting her have her space and time to think but truthfully the time away from her was tearing me apart. I hate that I don't know what's going through her head, I hate that I don't know what's going to happy to us. I just want to be with her, I want to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her everyday. I miss her so much and I feel like I'm crumbling apart without her.

All I do is lie on my bed waiting to see if she'll call, drowning in my misery. I haven't even wanted to go see the ducks since Santana told me she needed time. I don't want to lose Santana, she means too much to me. I slowly feel the tears running down my cheeks and rolling down onto the pillows. I heard the door open and close but I didn't bother to look up.

"Britt, you have to get up. You can't just lie there for the rest of your life," I heard Rachel's voice but I still made no effort to move.

"No," I said.

"Still haven't heard from her?" Rachel asked.

"No," I felt like a sad panda. Every time I thought about anything it always led back to Santana.

"Just give her some more time, I'm sure she'll come around."

"More time? It's been five days! I can't take it anymore, I can't stop thinking about her and thinking about how badly I messed up!" I felt the tears coming out of my eyes. I hated that I was just stuck out in the cold.

"Well then why don't you do something about it?" Rachel said, I lifted my head up.

"Like what?" I ask.

"I don't know, something special, sweet, romantic, something that will win her heart again," Rachel may have a point there; I was accomplishing nothing by lying on my bed, sulking all day.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I sighed.

"I'm always right," I roll my eyes, now that Rachel knows she's right she's going to be talking about it for god knows how long. "So, what are some things that Santana's interested in?"

"She likes cars and the color blue... oh and she totally loves Panda's," I smile.

"Panda's? I would have thought she'd go for something more like Wolfs or Tigers," Rachel stated.

"No she's sweet and cuddly, just like Panda's," I said.

"Whatever you say Britt," Rachel said as she grabbed her books and headed out the door leaving me to think of a grand romantic gesture that would win over Santana's heart again.

The thing is I'm terrible at thinking up ideas, I could never do it back in high school and I still can't do it now. I remember this one time I had to come up with an idea how to get people informed about the waste that was around us and everything that's going on in the world. I thought for hours as I searched the Internet and ran so many ideas through my head, but they were all really bad.

I went to my teacher and told him I was having a hard time thinking up an idea so he told me I could write a paper on it and explain the effect of waste on our world, but I'm not good with words either. I didn't do well on that project at all, in fact I think I just passed. I felt like this would be the same thing, I knew Santana and I knew what she liked but putting two things together was very hard for me. I decided I would text Rachel and ask her for her opinion.

After texting Rachel I got a little idea in my head that had turned into a bigger idea, I really hope that she will like it, I hope she can forgive me for being so stupid. Rachel also told me that she was taking me out tonight with Mike and Jack, two guys she met in her class. She told me she wasn't going to let me sit on my but this evening so I guess I really had no choice.

The club wasn't as packed as I thought it would be, I mean it was pretty full but it wasn't to the point where everyone was just rubbing up against each other, which I didn't mind. I could dance better this way that is, if I felt like dancing at all tonight, I hadn't felt like doing anything the past few days. Maybe I just needed some alcohol inside me and then I would be ready to have a good night.

Rachel introduced me to Jack and Mike who were pretty cool people. I leant that I knew Mike, he was actually in one of my dance classes. I hadn't really had time to talk to people in that class because after that ne ended I had another dance class and I didn't want to be late for it. Mike, Jack and I were having some beer at a table while Rachel was in the bathroom, she always needed to use the bathroom.

"So Brittany how are you're dance classes going?" Mike asked me.

"They're great, I'm learning a lot and I just always feel so free when dancing," I tell him, he's just smiling along because I think he agrees with me.

"Yeah that is true, are you preparing for the Christmas show that's coming up? I was thinking of doing something from the nutcracker but I don't have a partner," Mike said.

"Oh yeah but I don't know what I'm doing yet but the nutcracker sounds cool, good luck finding a partner," I said to him but realized he was looking at me with his eye brow raised like I was supposed to understand something.

"I was actually hoping that you would be my partner. I've seen you dance, you're amazing," Mike said which really made me feel good. Dancing was my passion and I was always happy to hear when people liked it.

"Oh, yeah sure. Sounds like fun," Mike was a pretty good dancer. I think we could really get the crowd cheering and he seemed like a pretty nice guy.

"So if you're so amazing why don't you demonstrate a little," Jack said pointing to the dance floor.

"I don't know if I'm really in the mood to dance right now," I told me.

"You should! I think it'll be good for you," I hear from behind me so I turn around to see Rachel has come back from the bathroom, I roll my eyes because I don't want to.

"Maybe later," I say again.

"Maybe we should get more shots into and then you'll give us a show," Josh winked.

"Maybe," I said.

Josh went up to the bar and ordered us eight shots, two for each of us. After the first shot I felt the burning run down my throat. I always hated taking shots but I did them because I thought they were fun. The second one went down more smoothly, I guess because my throat my still all tingly from the first one I didn't feel it that badly. I could feel the alcohol taking it's effect because I began to get a little tipsy and all of a sudden I could feel the music move within me and I started to feel really hot. I know I'm a stripper drunk so I try not to get as drunk as I used to get in high school. I don't want to put on a show for anyone.

"I'll dance, but Mikey has to come with me!" I giggle out. Rachel claps her hands together and shoos the both of us out onto the dance floor.

We start dancing together but it is safe dancing, I don't want this to lead anywhere because of the fact we're going to be working together on the Christmas dance and especially because I still have things to work out with Santana. I must say he is an excellent dancer.

After a while Mike went to get a drink and left me dancing on the floor, I was having too much fun to stop now and besides I felt like I had finally got everything off my mind for the night. I knew my problems were probably going to be back tomorrow so for now I just decided to let loose and have some fun. I could see Rachel and Jack whispering in each others ear and if I didn't know any better I'd say they were going to have a thing. Or maybe it was because they were just really drunk.

I turn around and continued dancing and when I turned around Rachel and Jack were gone, they were probably off making out somewhere so I decided not to think about it too much. I also noticed how much more packed the club had gotten, now there were sweaty bodies everywhere and feeling a little thirst I decided it would be smart to get some water. I was already feeling dizzy, so I headed over to the bar.

As I waited for the water I had asked for, I saw someone out of the corner of my eye sit down on the stool next to me. I tried to ignore him and go back to wait for my water but I felt the guy staring at me. I started to get uncomfortable because this guy kept staring at me. I looked around hoping I could find Rachel or one of the guys to help me out but none of them were in sight.

"Hey there pretty lady," the guy said next to me, I rolled my eyes and just ignored him.

"Why are you all alone on this fine night?" The guy said again and I continued to ignore him.

"Are you deaf woman! I'm talking to you," The guys said as he grabbed my arm and yanked on it so I would turn and look at him. I tried to pull my arm away but he was holding onto it too tightly and it was hurting me. He was clearly really drunk.

"Let go please, I'm not interested," I said.

"Of course you are, who wouldn't want this," He pointed to himself giving me a sick feeling just thinking about him.

"No thanks, please leave me alone," I say and this time I try and get up and leave but he gets up and hold me against the bar not letting me go.

"Come on babe, just one kiss," he said moving in to kiss my face, I tried to push him away but he was really strong, I struggled some more cause him to slam my back harder against the bar. I cringed in pain and felt tears in my eyes.

"No stop!" This guy wouldn't give up. That's when I suddenly felt his weight being left off of me and I sighed with relief. I felt the tears roll down my face.

"She said she's not interested buddy, so leave her the fuck alone!" Came a strong voice, I couldn't see the face because my tears were blinding me and I was still really dizzy from all the drinks I've had tonight.

"Aw come on, don't be like that lady," I managed to see the outline of the figure slap the man hard causing him to cringe with pain. "Crazy bitch!" He yelled and just like that he was gone.

I grabbed onto the side of the bar trying to steady myself but my vision was blurred and my back hurt my hell. I felt the tears slowly roll off my cheeks and I still didn't know where anyone was, I was all alone. I tried to take a step off the bar but quickly felt myself falling onto to be caught in someone's arms.

"Brittany, are you okay? Did he hurt you? Can you talk to me?" That sounded like Santana but I wasn't sure.

"San...tana?" I asked very unsure. It was probably my mind playing tricks on me because why would she be here helping me out, she was supposed to be thinking. I couldn't see her face, I just saw a blurred up figure standing in front of me.

"Britt, you're really drunk aren't you." The voice asked.

"Who, who a-are you," I slurred out, I still didn't think Santana was helping me.

"Yeah, it's me Britt. You really are super drunk aren't you. Why'd you drink this much?" The girl asked.

"Because I'm sad," I responded. I didn't say more then that, I didn't believe it was Santana, but suddenly I felt her holding me closer to her and I recognized her smell. It was Santana, she was here, holding me even though she was mad at me and I felt safe.

"Britt," she said softly, although I didn't know if it was because she was still mad at me or that she was concerned.

"I needta go," I tried to say, I needed to find Rachel and go home with her. I was too sad to face Santana.

"You can't go anywhere in this state," she said to me, but I shook my head and started to walk further away from her. I then felt a pain in my back from where I had been smashed against the bar, I held onto my back and started to fall again. I felt strong arms wrap against me again keeping me up.

"Britt, sit down, please, you're hurt," I felt more tears rolling down my face. I'm not supposed to be the sad drunk, I was never the sad drunk but now I'm hurting and Santana's here and I don't know what to do anymore. "Please don't cry," she said softly as she wiped away the tears from my eyes.

I let Santana get water for me, she told me to drink it even though I really didn't feel like drinking it. But she made me, and because I know she was looking out for me I did. It made me feel a little better but I still felt everything moving at a fast pace. Then I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Britt! Oh my god thank god I found you! We've been so worri... Santana?" That was Rachel I knew that.

"Rach, hey. I found her at the bar trying to get away from some guy not to long ago, but she hurt her back," Santana's tone sounded too soft, I missed that.

"Is she okay?" Rachel asked.

"She should be, she's just had lots to drink," Santana told her.

"I'll take her home, come on Britt," I didn't want to leave Santana but she was mad at me, she was so mad at me, I looked down feeling bad. Bad for everything I've done.

"Take care of her okay," I heard Santana whisper, I didn't her Rachel so I just suppose she nodded.

The next thing I remember from that night was waking up right now with a massive head ach. I wished I didn't drink that much because my head feels like it just got hit by a bus.

Hope everyone has a good Christmas! I probably won't be able to update till the second week of January due to traveling and stuff. Hope you all liked this chapter, let me know what you think. Did you like it? Also make sure to check out my other fan fic Growing Up.