A/N Guys maybe this is annoying you, maybe it's too slow, but I don't see them in any other way. They are healing each other the best way they can. Sorry for the slow update.
It doesn't last long, because when she opens her eyes he sits before her, looking at her with calm face, still holding her bagel. There was always something about looking at each others eyes. With Humphrey it was always that way. He was absolutely the most talkative person she knew, but when he didn't know what to say to her he was just looking into her eyes, and they both knew that way they were telling each other more than any words, books or any other way. And she hated it most of the time, because when Dan Humphrey was looking directly into his eyes it meant something. There was a period when she was avoiding his gaze because she was afraid of what she might see in them. A very few times she let herself look at him straight into his eyes and he was always looking at her with admiration mixed with love and tenderness.
Today his eyes say "I love you, you know that", "I missed you", "I'm at peace again after kissing you" and she is left speechless. For the first time she is not the object that people (and by people she means Chuck) are looking as if they are hungry beasts. He looks at her like there is no one else, like she's the only girl in the world, and for the first time she is not intimidated, she doesn't hate him for making her feel that way, she doesn't hate and love his vulnerable eyes.
"Still hurts?" – He dares to speak after they observe each others eyes for a while.
"What?" – She asks like woken up from a dream.
"Your lips? From the coffee?" – He rushes to explain.
"Oh" – She touches her lips. She completely forgets that burn. – "I just…"
"Let's not make a big deal out of it, please." – He asks with pleading eyes, a bit scared that she might start her tirade of insults or questions or maybe even changes her mind and he really, really needs her with him, needs their quiet time. She takes the bagel from his hand and puts it on the nightstand besides the coffee. She sits closer to him, as a matter of fact she is inches away from his face. Her hand cups his jaw line and he breathes shallow.
"I love that you are here. You have no idea how much you are good for me" – She almost whispers and he doesn't blink. – "I am myself when you are around and even if we don't have to ramble all the time I feel nice and the silence is not awkward." – She pets his face and then runs her thumb below his eye as she used to do when they were going to bed – a ritual of stroking his face and a trace of her fingertips over his eyes. He lets out a small gasp and smiles to her. – "I need time, ok? And by that I mean I want you near me, as my rock." –He nods in her hand. – "There is no doubt that you and I never stopped being you and I, but now I just need you here. I need to do nothing. With you" – She says.
"Blair"- He puts his hand over her small hand that cups his face. – "I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to rush you at all. I agree on every term you have, as long as I'm with you. Even if you decide to leave one day and run back to Chuck…I will come after you" – She closes her eyes and smiles and just then he realizes how natural and sad her face looks. She shakes her head.
"I'm not running after anyone." – She leans in and kisses him. It's not a French one, it's just a kiss on the lips. When they break the kiss, they still keep their distance as small as possible – "Have I told you really like the shape of your lips?" – She runs her index finger over his lower lip. He smiles and kisses it.
…..
On December 30th she sends him to the nearest supermarket and even though he protests and begs her to come with him, he ends up going alone. When he comes back, the penthouse is semi dark and there are candles all over the place. A bottle of champagne and two crystal glasses are set on the coffee table by the fireplace and quiet jazz is playing in the background.
She walks in from the kitchen, wearing simple black blouse and jeans, her hair naturally combed down.
"We skipped this Valentine's Day, so I thought" – She smiles as he observes the scene a bit confused. – "My dad has a good collection of old movies, we can continue the tradition…" – He starts smiling.
"That's why you sent me there alone?" – It's not even a question, more a conclusion.
"I needed to clean up a bit" – She takes the bags from his hands and takes them to the kitchen. When she comes back he is sitting on the couch by the fireplace, pouring champagne in their glasses. She comes back and sits on the couch, practically nesting into his arms. He puts a glass into her hand and they clink.
"You forgot to put the movie in the dvd player" – He says wryly after they drink their first glass.
"Yeah, well…can we just…"
"Sit like this? I'm fine with that" – He ends her question, putting the glass on the table and rushes to sink his fingers into her hair.
It's another couch, another city, another penthouse, another winter and an early or belated Valentine. Nice and clam one as it should be with them.
"You wanna go to Nice tomorrow? We're too pale, we can use some Cote d'Azure sun" – She mumbles into his chest.
"As long as I'm with you…" – He holds her as they slowly are falling asleep on the couch.
tbc