Chapter 2
The Unwanted Answer
The bed beside her is cold and empty when she wakes up the next morning. It's not yet seven o'clock. She has become an early riser. She also knows all about changing diapers and burping the baby. She has no choice, really. She has a husband who firmly believes raising kids is women's duty. She doesn't have Mary Poppins as a nanny. She gets out of bed and goes to the small bathroom. Her eyes are all swollen and puffy. Her sister-in-law will drive the kids home after breakfast. Her mother-in-law will not be pleased if she ever finds out Joe didn't come home last night. And, as usual, they will say it was all her fault. She should have been smarter. She should have been more obedient. She should have been more like her mother, the ever so perfect wife and mother.
Why do you have to drive Joe mad, Stephanie? Why do you always have to make him angry? They will team up, frown at her and ask. Why can't you just nod your head, say yes, and give Joe another child? It's not like you have other things to do at this moment. The kids are old enough, and don't forget you won't get any younger. Soon the clock will stop ticking. This can be your very last chance to have another baby. You know how much Joe wants another little boy. He works his butt off to provide for you and the kids. This is the least you can do to repay him and show him your gratitude and appreciation. What kind of woman are you if you don't want to fulfill your duty as a wife? You can't even cook a decent plate of pasta, for God's sake. You can't really believe you can feed your family with warm milk and grilled cheese sandwiches, can you, Stephanie? What will the neighbors say? What will your poor mother think? She's one of the best cook in this community, for crying out loud.
She changes into an old t-shirt and a pair of worn out jeans. She goes downstairs and feeds Bob before having a simple breakfast. She turns on the TV to repel the empty silence. She keeps her eyes on the screen but doesn't hear a word the chic newswoman says. She always tries her best not to think too much, but sometimes she can't help feeling regret. If only she didn't get pregnant. If only she had the nerves to go to that clinic or had the courage to become a single mother. If only she didn't give in to her fear and to her mother. She stands up, washes the plate and puts it away. If only she had been honest with herself and...She let out a heavy sigh. If only she had been honest with herself and Ranger. The dull ache within her chest once again comes back to haunt and taunt her. She sits down by the dining table, stares numbly into the space, and sees a face: the face of a smiling woman.
There's no turning back. Not any more.
Rozie O'Hara. Early thirties. Bright dark green eyes. Slightly wavy raven black hair. A seemingly softer, sweeter version of the ever so perfect Jeanne Ellen Burrows. Lucille Plum's distant cousin. A clever and successful hunter. The bond enhancing agent who took over her old job but hasn't blown up one single house or a car. The woman who, Connie and Lula said, doesn't do stupid things like marriage and babies. The woman who is said to have found the Bat Cave...