This chapter is based entirely off of Episode 46 of YGOTAS, so if you don't know what it is you should probably look it up on YouTube now.
Wow... all of the reviewers thumbnails are still of a Bakura...
It would be even wierder if the next reviewer had Ryou as their avatar pic...
So coincidential.
In the previous chapter, Yami Bakura broke the Fourth Wall during a Shadow Game. In this chapter, he tries to have someone else break it for him.
As I said before, this chapter happens as if he never did the previous chapter. Also, each chapter works a bit differently in terms of knowledge and feelings. Like one chapter, Bakura will hate someone, and the next he may not hate him/her anymore.
The genre of this chapter is: parody
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN STAMPEDING FANGIRLS, SHIRTLESS CHARACTERS, MAKING OUT, SPIKED DIP, AND OTHER FANGIRL HEALTH HAZARDS. FANGIRLS BE CAREFUL AND NON-FANGIRLS PROCEED WITH CAUTION. ALSO CONTAINS VIOLENCE, CURSING, ANNOYED VILLAINS, FAKED/ASSUMED/IMPLIED SHIPPINGS, AND THE OCCASIONAL HATE ON LITTLE KURIBOH (not my fault it's Bakura's fault!)
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh! Season 0, YGOTAS, Hetalia, YouTube, Google, Cannibal Holocaust, Gmail, the video titled "Bakuras favorite card", the Fourth Wall, or any of the characters. And bunch of other stuff and whatevers.
WARNING OF THE CHAPTER: CONTAINS YGOTAS CLIPS, BAKURA'S DISLIKE OF Little Kuriboh, SUGGESTED THIEFSHIPPING THOUGHTS, RHETORICAL WANKERS, AND A SHADOW GAME
R&R
ENJOY~!
5. Re-live episode 46 of YGOTAS.
Bakura figured that maybe if he could insert himself into something that the Fourth Wall breaks in, he might be able to escape from there.
He first had to find the episode he needed. He had learned that Little Kuriboh, the creator of the abridged version of Yu-Gi-Oh!, had made an episode where the show is "canceled" and the Fourth Wall collapses. (In the same way he had also learned that in the abridged version, the Millenium Necklace could break the Fourth Wall. But he figured that wouldn't be true for the original version.)
He found this episode on YouTube. It was a familiar because he had visited this video before. The title was "Episode 46 - Melvin'd". It was the same video that "TAquailita" had commented on.
But unlike the first time he had seen it, Bakura could actually see the video. It seemed like he had somehow broken the Fourth Wall's mental block on him.
As the episode started, he tried to make a connection between his Millenium Ring and the abridged Bakura's Ring.
I hope I'm in this episode, he thought. He knew that the abridged episodes combined and condensed the different parts of related episodes, so there was no real way of determining which episode number of the abridged show contained which episodes of the original show. But the way the numbers were, he could at least tell that this was from Season 2, which was Battle City. So the odds of me being in this episode are pretty good.
After he thought that, he actually managed to make contact with the episode and found himself getting sucked in. Or rather, the video was getting sucked out.
He was in.
Bakura's vision sharpened and he looked around. He looked down and saw that he was floating above what seemed to be a lightsaber duel between himself and Marik's darker side.
I don't remember this... he noted. When he looked closer, he noticed that they were on Kaiba's Battle City blimp. So when was this? The scene wasn't familiar to him. And the two fighters looked kind of... off.
Then he realized why. This must not be part of the actual episode. It must be fandrawn! No wonder the art seemed fake.
He floated a little closer. After a few clashes, the other him and the other Marik stopped fighting in a stalemate. The other him began to speak.
"You can't win, Melvin," he said. "If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Melvin? Was Melvin that other guy? But that was Yami Marik... Unless Little Kuriboh gave him a name.
Wait a minute! If Yami Marik was given a name, then what did he name me?! It had better not be something stupid...
"Bull-crap," said 'Melvin'. "If I strike you down you'll be as dead as Naruto The Abridged Series."
"Yes, but with me gone, you'll have my fangirls to deal with."
Ah, the fangirls... My strongest allies.
After the other Bakura spoke, the crappily drawn cut scene ended and everything reverted back to it's original design. The camera cut back to 'Melvin'.
"Perhaps we should settle things a little more traditionally. With a children's card game! But not just any children's card game. A shadow children's card game! Ahahahahaha!"
Oh my gosh, that reminds me of how I used to talk back in Duelist Kingdom, back in Season One. I must have sounded ridiculous!
The other Bakura must have been thinking the same thing, because his next words were, "God, is that really how I used to talk back in Season One? I must've sounded like a total wanker."
The normal Marik appeared beside the other Bakura in spirit form. It was then that Bakura was able to figure out that this must have been the time when he and Yami Marik had dueled for the other's Millenium item.
Bakura smiled as he remembered that day. He had lost, but still... He hadn't been defeated. He had used his backup plan of hiding in the Millenium Puzzle.
His smile faded when Marik spoke. "Yes, you did. You sounded exactly like a wanker!"
"I was being rhetorical, Marik."
"A rhetorical WANKER!"
Oh great! In this series him and Marik were still friends, but now Marik was twice as annoying. And apparently twice as idiotic.
And apparently, Bakura was more British that usual. Fucking British host.
Bakura continued watching the scene play out.
"But before we begin this duel to the death, I have just one question." Melvin outstretched his arms. "Could I get a hug?"
"I'm not going to hug you!" abridged Bakura smartly said.
"Maybe we should hug him, Bakura," Marik suggested. "I mean, he seems like an okay guy."
What is wrong with Marik in this version?!
"Marik, that's your evil alter ego. He killed your father and made your life a living hell, remember?"
"Huuuug?" Melvin insisted.
"I still think you should hug him."
"I'm not bloody hugging him!" abridged Bakura shouted.
"Fine! Don't hug me! It makes little difference. Once I beat you, your show will be canceled faster than you can say 'created by Joss Whedon.'"
"I'll be damned if this show is going to be canceled before I get the screen time I was promised in my bloody contract!"
So the other Bakura also had issues.
"Then face me, Florence! And suffer the wrath of the Egyptian gods! Ahahahahaha!"
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! What?! That asshole named my character FLORENCE?! Why the hell would he do that?! Who names a boy "Florence"?
"Oh, I get it!" Marik said as his darker half laughed. "He was implying that you wanted me to sleep with you!" 'What the hell did he just say?' "Ha! That is pretty funny! After all I'm waaaay out of your league!"
Bakura's face turned red at the thought of that. What was this Marik talking about? Was it something that Melvin had said in the previous episode? And what did Marik mean by "out of your league"?! He's wrong. I'm out of his league. I can do better than him.
Bakura's thoughts surprised him. He stopped his train of thought and slapped himself in the face. Then he returned to watching.
The other him was saying, "Sod off, Marik."
Suddenly, the scene changed.
What the hell?!
"Yugi, what are you doing in my soul room?"
Where the hell- oh nevermind. Bakura was in a familiar place. A place that shouldn't be familiar, but was anyway because he had sneaked into it. Yami's soul room. Or maybe the Millenium Puzzle? Or both? Was the Millenium Puzzle the Pharaoh's soul room?
Now was not the time to speculate! He needed to pay attention!
But to what? This was just an uninteresting little clip of something away from the battle. Melvin had said something about the show being cancelled. Would that break the fourth wall? Bakura wasn't sure. But somehow, he was sure that it wouldn't happen in a scene with Yugi and his stupid friends.
The convo seemed to be just ending.
"No, Yugi. I DON'T have Nintendo."
"Your soul is lame."
I agree.
The scene changed again. Back to the duel.
"I don't know why you're so hellbent on saving your series, Florence," Melvin said. "After all, you could always go be on that spin-off show. What was it called again? Zorc and Pals?"
Zorc? Why the hell did Zorc the Dark One have his own TV show? Bakura probably should have looked up more abridged stuff before coming here...
"Yes, well, I'm afraid that show was already canceled a few months back," replied abridged Bakura.
"What happened to Zorc?" Marik asked.
"He got himself a job on a new series. The Suite Life of Zorc and Cody," the other Bakura replied.
Oh Ra, I hope that show isn't as lame as it sounds. And that we won't be seeing a clip-
(Music)
o/` You and me we got the world for free... o/`
I thought too soon.
Bakura watched in boredom as Zorc burned a guest with fire from his dragon penis and then stepped on Hannah Montana.
Finally, the scene changed back to normal.
But the boredom wasn't over yet...
"Hey, hey, Bakura, guess who I am," Marik said. Then he started talking in an annoying and stereotypical ghostly tone. "Oooooh, Bakuuuraaa, you must believe in the heaaart of the caaards because I am the Phaaaraoh! Ooooh!"
Oh no... Is Marik seriously making fun of the Pharaoh? Now even though it's slightly amusing to think about, it's probably going to be totally annoying to actually hear.
"Yes, Marik. Very amusing..."
"Oooooooooh! Yuuugi, you must summon the Celtic Guaaaaaaardian! The faaate of the wooorld depends on iiiiiit!"
Bakura felt that him and "Florence" were probably feeling the same thing: extremely annoyed.
"Thank you Marik, that's quite enough alre-"
Marik said, still annoyingly, "The Celtic Guaaaardian, Yuuugiii! It is your destinyyy!"
"Uh, sometimes I wonder which Marik I despise more..."
Now that was a good question...
As the scene played out a bit more, Bakura took some time to decide which of the four Mariks he hated more. Abridged Yami Marik, Abridged Marik, regular Marik, or regular Yami Marik. Tough choice.
He eliminated his Marik from the list. And then Abridged Yami Marik. He was still extremely evil, but only annoying and "huggy". (Bakura didn't really know about the whole "To Melvin, 'hug' means 'stab'" thing.) Now it was between the Abridged Marik and the real Yami Marik. Tough choice. He absolutely hated Yami Marik, but the Abridged Marik was starting to sound ten times more annoying and ten times stupider than the real Marik.
Who to choose? The evil and deadly and hated Yami Marik or the annoying and idiotic Marik.
"It means his room is free!" Téa shouted suddenly. Apparently the scene changed without Bakura knowing. "We can totally party in there!" She was outside of Yugi's room on the blimp.
They must have been talking about how Ryou wasn't there because Bakura was on the top of the blimp, and Bakura was in Ryou's body, so of course Ryou wouldn't be in his room.
"Damn skippy, we can!" Yugi exclaimed.
The scene changed back.
"And now, Mega Ultra Chicken, ARISE from your grave!" Oh great! Little Kuriboh not only named Abridged Bakura "Florence" and Abridged Yami Marik "Melvin", but he also re-named the fucking Winged Dragon of Ra! What the hell is wrong with him?! I can't wait to find out what stupid-ass names he gave to Obelisk and Slyfer.
"Stay on target!" Marik warned Florence.
"Oh, bullocks..."
"Stay on target!"
"I believe we're royally screwed."
"STAY ON FRIGGIN' TARGET!"
"What could I possibly use to defeat an Egyptian God card?" No doubt this Marik would come up with a stupid response to that.
Bakura and Florence seemed to be having the same reaction that Bakura had when he first saw Yami Marik take The Winged Dragon of Ra in their duel and use it on him.
"Ooooh! The Celtic Guaaardian, Yugi! Oooh!" Marik said in his stupid ghost voice. When was he going to stop using it?!
The other Bakura began yelling at Marik. "I DON'T HAVE THE BLOODY CELTIC GUARDIAN! HOW THE BLOODY HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO USE A BLOODY CARD I DON'T BLOODY HAVE?! AND EVEN IF I DID BLOODY HAVE IT, HOW WOULD IT WORK AGAINST A BLOODY EGYPTIAN GOD?!"
Marik, still in his stupid stereotypical ghostly voice, said, "Because the fate of the world depends on it, Aibou!"
"What the bloody hell does 'Aibou' mean?!"
"I think it's Japanese for 'Gay'."
Bakura sighed. No, Marik. It's Japanese for "partner".
"If you're done fighting with your girlfriend, we have a card game to finish," Melvin said to them.
"He's not my girlfriend!" both Bakuras shouted at the same time.
"You tell him, honey!"
So it seemed like the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged liked to pair up Marik and Yami Bakura. Bakura had no objection to that, but did LK have to do it so stupidly?!
Bakura pulled himself out of his thiefshipping fantasies-I MEAN THOUGHTS!- and focused on the episode.
Melvin started using what Bakura recognized as Ra's special ability. "Now I shall use Mega-Ultra Chicken's secret ability that I just this second made up to convert my Life Points into Attack Points, merging me with the beast itself! Prepare yourselves to become part of Internet obscurity! Say hi to the Juggernaut for me!"
This must be it! The part where the Fourth Wall will collapse and Bakura would escape.
"Don't worry, Bakura! This is the part where Yugi shows up and saves everybody from certain damnation...!" There was a pause. "Any minute now!"
The scene cut to inside the blimp, where Yugi and his friends were apparently having a party in Ryou's room.
The scene was outside of the room, so Bakura couldn't see anything. But he heard all of their voices clearly.
Joey and Tristan shouted, "PARTY TIME!"
"You know Téa, I can't help but think I should be doing something very important right now," Yugi said.
"Yeah, it's called making out," Téa said. "Preferably with me."
So even here Téa still had the hots for Yugi and/or the Pharaoh. Which is why Bakura liked to think of Téa as "The Friendship Whore".
The scene switched back.
"Huh," Marik said.
"So much for that," Florence said. "Still, it was a good show while it lasted. Remember that one time when I said, 'I don't care'? Hilarious!"
"Yeah. I suppose there's only one thing left to do."
"Right."
What? What are they going to do now?
Suddenly, the music for the song "Stand by Me" began.
Oh no, please tell me they're not going to sing.
Wait a minute! Please tell me that I'm not going to sing!
Florence started singing the beat. "Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do. Do-do-do do." He continued singing backup for Marik.
Marik started singing.
"When the night has come, and the land is dark,
And the mo-oo-on is the only light we'll see,
No, I won't be afraid, no, I won't be afraid,
Just so lo-oo-ong as you stand, stand by me."
As Marik continued singing, Melvin made the Winged Dragon of Ra destroy Marik and Abridged Bakura, just as he did in the actual duel.
"And Bakura, Bakura, stand, by me.
Oh, sta-aa-and, by me.
Oh oh, stand.
Stand by me, stand by me..." Marik fades away.
Oh damn it why are my eyes watering?! Must be because of the heat.
Bakura wasn't lying to himself about half of it. Being an insert, he actually could feel the heat. But he moved out of the way before anything actually hit him.
However, that wasn't why he was tearing up.
Bakura then heard a strange cracking sound that sounded familiar, but he had never heard before.
"Hear that, Florence?" Melvin asked. "That's the sound of the fourth wall, collapsing!" Bakura looked around to see if Melvin was right. And he was. Behind Abridged Bakura was what seemed to be cracks in mid-air. Bakura didn't know how he did, but he knew that those were cracks in the Fourth Wall. And they were getting bigger by the second. It would shatter any minute now.
"Any final remarks before your series concludes?" Melvin continued.
The cracks were huge now, and bits and pieces of it were starting to fall onto Florence.
"Just the one," he said. "Tell my fangirls, I love them." And with those words, he faded away and the rest of the show's Fourth Wall crumbled on top of him.
Bakura blinked at the sight. No time to reminisce, he told himself. Move before it fixes itself or something like that.
As he thought those words, he floated over to the giant gaping hole in the Wall and darted through.
Just before he left the episode for good, he heard Melvin speak aloud.
"Ahahahahaha! Hey, LittleKuriboh, where's the new episode? Ahahahahahahahahaha!"
And with that, the show faded away from his sight.
~Meanwhile~
"Hey guys, did you just hear something?"
"All I can hear is the sound of you not making out with me!"
"I don't know. It sounded like our show being-"
~*static*~
BAKURA!~
*RANDOM SQUEAL*
This doesn't count as an MST, right?
No... It doesn't.
Um... good.
I know I skipped number 4, but that was because it was about writing a Fourth Wall fanfic and break it. That is something Bakura would never do because he is too awesome for it, so I will count that as an open chapter and anyone could suggest an idea for it.
Stuff in this chapter that isn't mine:
Episode 46 of YGOTAS,
And the Fourth Wall.
Stuff that is:
Bakura's opinion of Little Kuriboh and YGOTAS as a whole.
A note about how things are going to work with this: Each chapter has its own warning and genre. Read it to see what type of chapter it will be. And there will be an end to all of this, there won't just be me having him break it 10 random times and then end. You'll just have to wait and see! Hehehe...
Next chapter: Number 6 of the list, and Bakura steals the Millenium Puzzle!
See you next chapter!
BYEEEEEEEE~!