Chapter 13
Troubled Water
"Stephanie." Helen Plum sighs into the phone and tries her best to keep her voice even and calm as she feels a headache building behind her eyes. "What were you thinking? You are a mother now. You have to think about your family and put them first. Your children need their father. Do you understand? Don't make a fuss out of nothing. You have a life ahead of you. Don't throw it away like the last time. Joe is a good man. I'm sure there must be some mistake."
And even if it's not a mistake, Joe is a Morelli, and the Morellis don't do divorce. Stephanie will always be the rightful and only Mrs. Joseph A. Morelli and the wedding ring will stay on her hand. The other woman is just an one-night stand, an one-time fling. She doesn't mean anything. She's nothing. Men all cheat. But at the end of the day, they all come back to their wives and kids. Well, most of them. It's not such a big deal, really. If it's not completely broken, don't fix it. Frank hasn't always been faithful to her. He met a woman in Vietnam and drifted away for a while. But here they are, still happily married after all these years, and that Asian woman is nothing but ancient history and a faraway faded memory. Just keep your mouth shut and keep your husband fed. They will come back to you eventually. They all did. Besides, Stephanie is not perfect. She has made some mistakes along the way. You can't blame Joe for feeling frustrated.
"Mother, I can't talk right now. I've got to go." Stephanie says into the phone and tries to hold back her tears. What did she expect from her mother exactly? She knew what her mother would say. She knew what her mother-in-law and sisters in-law would say. She knew Bella would call first thing in the morning to gave her the Eye. She knew Joe would deny everything and make her look like a crazy bitch. She knew her children would be scared. But still she made the decision. She had no other choice. She can't live in a lie. She deserves better than this. She deserves happiness. She will be lying if she says she's not scared. She didn't sleep much last night; she kept thinking of the worst possible scenarios; she couldn't and still can't stop worrying about the grim future ahead. Where can she find a good lawyer? How can she afford a good lawyer? What if Joe loses it and does something stupid and extreme? What if she doesn't get the custody of the children? She hasn't worked in ages. Can she find a job now? Can she support herself and the kids? And all she wants is her own mother's support. Or some comfort. Or a kind word. Or a little understanding. Is that too much to ask?
"I don't know what you saw in Joe." Valerie takes a sip of her coffee and quietly says. She came over in the morning with breakfast and pies, and right now Albert and the girls are watching a Disney movie with JJ and Rose Maria in the living room. "Yes, he's good-looking and attractive, but he's a Morelli. And the Morelli men are not husband material. They never are. Look at his father and uncles. Look at his brother and cousins. They are charming and fun to be with. They know how to talk you out of your panties. And they cheat. They all cheat. I don't know why you are always so obsessed with him. Mom warned you about him. Shirley warned you about him. I warned you about him. But you followed him to his father's garage anyway. You let him in after the bakery was closed. You hooked up with him after you got divorced. You couldn't stop fighting with him. You kept going back to him. You couldn't live under the same roof with him for over three months. And then you chose to marry him.
"Don't let what Mom said get to you if you have already made up your mind. She will get over it sooner or later. It's your life. Albert knows a couple divorce lawyers. I can ask around too if you want." Valerie reaches over the kitchen table and takes hold of Stephanie hand. "Just make sure this is what you really want. We both know divorce is a torture. Not only for us, but for the kids, too. It's not too late. There's still time. You can forgive him and take him back. You can give him and yourself another chance if you still love him. Whatever your decision is, I'll stand by your side. You are not alone."
Stephanie tries to smile but instead her eyes tear up. She took off her wedding when she woke up this morning. She couldn't help staring at the ring of paler skin. The promise of happiness. The vow of loyalty. The shattering of a sweet impossible dream. No. Everything won't be okay. Everything has changed. What's the point taking Joe back if she can no longer trust him? She and Joe have known each other for ages, but sometimes she thinks she doesn't really know him. And right now at this moment, she's not even sure if she really loves him. She suddenly feels like she has been chasing after a shadow. She has been fantasized by an illusion. Everything is a lie. Nothing is real. And she doesn't wanna live this way. Not anymore.
"Thanks, Val." Stephanie croaks. Her sister is right. It's her life. Not anyone else's. She has made up her mind, and there will be no turning back.