He was almost scared to move even the slightest muscle. It was still morning, and she was still sleeping soundlessly in his arms, still carrying their baby. And everything was fine and quiet and peaceful in her world where she didn't know the details of the situation, where she didn't know the risk. But his world was for from hers. He was thinking of the worst and he couldn't stop himself. And even though the sun outside was already shining, he knew it was dark out somewhere. It was dark across the country, far from where he lay, and it was dark in people's hearts. He knew that, and he wished things were different right now.
Because maybe if they were different, he could be laying here with her not for protection, but romance or affection. Or both. But it wasn't like that and it was his fault for getting involved in a bunch of bullshit. The thoughts he were thinking now, they made him. They made him feel at tension with everything and nothing felt safe.
Yes, they were in different worlds. Because in hers, everything was okay. But he was laying here, his arm wrapped tightly around her to keep her safe and make her feel better, and she was so close. But she felt so far away, because in his head, it was just him and all of this shit.
He waited for her to wake up. His ears were perked up, listening intently to the sound of the small breaths she took as she slept, the rise and fall of them showing him that she was still here with him and safe for the moment. He was snuggled close to her, taking in the warmth she provided even if none of this was romantic. He missed the feeling of his arms being wrapped around her. But things had changed drastically. And they were still changing, and maybe they'd never stop.
He wanted her to wake up so badly. He wanted to tell her what was going on without her being angered. Right now, he needed her to understand and he needed her forgiveness. He didn't know how to explain everything to her and her family without upsetting them. But god, he didn't want anyone hurt. Especially Kagome, who he'd cared about for so long, and not the baby that he was feeling so protective of already.
He felt her shifting, and slowly and carefully, he unwrapped his arm from around her, giving her space.
She was facing him now. He watched in fascination as her eyelids fluttered open, and in that moment, he considered himself lucky. Maybe this baby wasn't planned and this wasn't the right time, considering they didn't know how to define their relationship and he had really fucked things up somewhere along the way, but still, she was beyond stunning, even after just waking up from a most likely tough day, and he couldn't have imagined anyone else being the mother of his child, no matter how odd that statement was considering they'd been best friends a few months ago.
She was feeling grave and fearful, he knew, he could see it all in her eyes.
She spoke before he could apologize for all he was about to put them through. Despite everything, there was a blush staining her cheeks. "I'm going to take a shower. Mama should have breakfast cooking by now. Then, you explain everything, Yash."
He nodded. He didn't need to say words to promise her he would, he knew that she could see everything in his eyes, too.
XXXxxxXXX
Her mother was already downstairs, her morning cup of caffeine placed between her palms. Quietly, he walked down the stairs, not sure if he was ready for this. But he had to be. This was the first step to taking precautions. All of them had to be aware of this situation, even if they did take it harshly. It was the truth, and it was better than comforting them all with lies that would only destroy them more in the end when they figured out exactly what was going on.
Hell, he still didn't exactly understand.
There were so many things to think about, so many things to worry about. All he wanted was peace, but he was sure that things would stay fucked up for a while.
Being half-demon, he was used to staying alert, wide-eyed and watching for whatever was thrown into his path next. But he didn't like this at all. He didn't like the fact that he had to be so careful before, and he didn't like what he was feeling now. All of the emotions were muddled and jumbled together, as were his thoughts. And it was almost like the new moon, which would be coming soon. The emotions would intensify, and he'd feel even more confused and scared than he already was. He wasn't used to any of this. He'd never had anyone to protect but himself, but now he had to think about his friends, Kagome's friends for her sake, her family, and most importantly, Kagome and the baby.
And he knew things would stay this way for a while. But he just needed them all safe. But he couldn't stop thinking about the worst scenarios possible and Godammit, it was really hurting him.
At his low growl, Mrs. Higurashi looked up, startled to see him standing there with his eyes intense as they'd ever been. She looked worried, and immediately, her mug of caffeine was long-forgotten as she stood to her feet, alertness in her eyes. He had always liked her eyes. They were just like Kagome's, except for the emotion. Kagome's eyes, they always showed more emotion than any other eyes that he'd looked into.
She was never rude with him. Never accusing. She was always so hopeful, so nice. She didn't care about the fact that he was half-demon. She was wiser than him and Kagome, and dare he say it, he trusted her.
He didn't have to say anything. She slowly walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him for comfort. It wasn't an awkward hug, though. He took all of the comfort he could get for now. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, too, burying his head into her shoulder. She reminded him so much of his own mother. They were both caring, compassionate, and loving. But he had to admit right now that Mrs. Higurashi must've been the strongest woman he knew.
"You're home," she whispered in his ear. "This is your home. This is where you belong. You can trust me, Inuyasha," she slowly pulled away, taking his hands into hers. She looked at him, her eyes wide with worry. "You can tell me anything. I know that look, and you're not okay. Tell me what's bothering you."
Her words were warm and he knew the truth would hurt her, but she wouldn't be mad about it. But how could he tell her when he wasn't sure what he'd done in the past to cause all of this mess? He just didn't fucking know anything anymore.
"I know this is my home," he told her. Honestly, her words had warmed his heart, and it felt like he had a mother again. And at that moment, he realized that he'd die trying to protect her, too. He loved them all. He loved Kagome's mother. He loved her strength, and he loved her kindness. And he loved Souta, the boy whom called him a hero. But what would he think of him now? And he loved Kagome's grandfather, even if he annoyed him sometimes. And most of all, he loved Kagome. Maybe he wasn't sure yet in which way he loved her, but he admired her. Even when she cried, he saw her strength. And when she was completely, fully-blown pissed off at him, he saw strength too, and her weaknesses. And if he hadn't seen her weaknesses, he would've never known how strong she really was. And he loved the baby already with all of his heart, even if he wasn't sure how it had happened so soon when he or she's face and body wasn't completely developed yet.
But all of these people, they were his strength, and he couldn't lose any of them.
He didn't want to seem weak and needy, but he knew that if he didn't tell her, the situation would be worse and someone would end up dead or hurt in the end. "I fucked up," he said, his eyes on the ground. He didn't care about his language anymore.
Mrs. Higurashi gave him an exception. She didn't scold him, just grabbed his cheek gently, raising his head until he met her eyes. "Everybody makes mistakes."
He was frustrated. He let out a low growl. "They don't make mistakes that may have people dead in the end of all this shit," he told her, his voice raising a bit.
He smelled more worry on her before he saw it on her face. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion, and he smelled fear on her before he saw it in her eyes. "Inuyasha…" she started, her voice shaking a bit. "Tell me you're being serious."
"I'm serious," he confirmed, his voice high.
"How?" she asked, the two sour scents that were combined intensified.
"I don't know how, exactly. Like I said, I fucked up, and I'm trying to figure out how. But it's kind of hard," he let out a deep sigh, taking a seat and burying his face into the sweaty palms of his hands. "I know he's after Kagome and the baby. He's after me. But first, whoever this sick bastard is, wants to weaken her, wants to make it so that she's almost completely given up. And then, he wants to be done with them, and I can't let that happen. He wants to hurt her family and friends and push her to her limit. And then, it's my friends. After that, her and the baby. Maybe I deserve nothing but pain, but I can't see her and the baby hurt, and I definitely can't see her and my baby fucking dead."
Tears were about to fill her eyes, and he didn't dare look up, because if he did, he feared he would completely fucking lose his mind. He couldn't deal with smelling her tears right now. He let out a growl, lifting his head slowly, his eyes on her. "Don't cry, don't you dare cry."
"I'm sorry," she murmured. He could still smell it on her though. The truth was scaring her. "Did you spend the night?"
"Of course I spent the night," he answered, his voice soft. "I'm not letting her outta my sight. Not ever again."
She paced around for a second, her arms crossed. He didn't want to see her. He tried to prevent them all from getting hurt, but he seemed to make it all worse. Finally, she slowed, turning to look at him. "I'm not angry," she said suddenly. "I can't be. You…you're home to her. And even though I want to cry from all the worry, I know you're not going to let anything happen to her or the baby. You're not going to let anything happen to us. We're you're family, Inuyasha, whether you accept us or not. It can't be changed. But I know you accept us. I know that we're family to you, too. And I know you'll do anything it takes to protect her, to protect all of us."
He was too stressed to even talk. But he let her see his eyes, and she smiled a little because she knew he was telling her thanks in his own way. He gave her a sort of melancholy smile, the only smile he could manage at the time. It was unique, though. His eyes were filled with warmth. She could see that. She could feel it.
"Do you…do you think you can explain to Souta and her grandfather?" he asked her, his voice tired.
She gave him a nod, giving him a small smile. The whites of her eyes were red, and they looked watery. He had never felt guiltier. "You look tired," she told him. "Go and get some sleep."
"I would," he began, "but I've got to at least try and explain the whole thing to Kagome."
"You came in early this morning, I'm guessing," she stated, taking a sip of her coffee. He could feel tension. But still, he felt grateful for her understanding and for her comfort, her kindness. She actually made him feel like he was family.
"Yeah," he told her, his voice sounding sluggish.
She smiled, this time bigger. "That's you, alright. You love her. You don't have to admit it to yourself right now, but if I was Kagome, I think it would be nice to know."
And she was absolutely right. But the thing was, he still felt scared to sort out his feelings. Of course he loved her. She was his best friend. But what if he did decide to give all of it a try and give his child what he or she would want, which was two parents who loved each other, only for her to be taken away from him in the end?
Yes, he loved her a lot. There were too many feelings swimming around inside of him, but when he focused on the ones he felt for her, it was nothing but love.
But right now, all of it was bullshit compared to her safety. He couldn't focus on catching feelings right now.
XXXxxxXXX
"Tell me what's really going on," Kagome said, crossing her arms as she sat on her bed. He sat beside of her, making sure that they weren't touching. She noticed this, and she was bothered by it even though she shouldn't have been.
He was avoiding looking into her eyes, but still, his voice came out soft. Right now, he was being the child she knew him to be sometimes. Or maybe he was being both man and child, she wasn't sure. He was hiding his feelings well, and she was trying to hide hers. But honestly, as she sat there, feeling stupid and contagious because he refused to look at her or even sit within an inch away from her, she felt the longing in her veins to touch him again, kiss him again, talk to him without things being tense and awkward. "I told you, Kagome. I don't know all the details. All I know is that this bastard wants you weak. He wants me weak. He's made up in his mind that I really care about you and the baby, and he wants revenge."
She frowned. What exactly was he saying? Did he mean he didn't care? But she didn't want to jump to conclusions. She didn't want fights between them. She didn't need it, and she was already stressed enough. But still, she needed to know, even if it wasn't the most important thing to know right now. "Are you saying you don't care?" She asked, her voice a little too high, too angry. She didn't want to be harsh. But she needed to know.
Finally, he looked at her, his eyes as soft as his words. "Of course I care," he said, not a trace of anger in his voice. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be sitting here, about to lose my mind while trying to piece all of this shit together."
Still, his voice was soft, caring. He looked away from her, and she watched him. His features showed that he was in deep concentration. Before she could say anything, he spoke up, staring at some imaginary object on the floor. His words were soft, but his ways toward her felt so cold. "This bastard had something to do with the crash. I know he did. There's no doubt about it."
She nodded, sort of surprised. Because all along, she had felt like the crash wasn't just an accident. "That's what I was thinking, too," she breathed softly, still studying his features. "Do you have any idea who it might be, though?"
He growled a little, his head snapping towards her, his eyes angry. "Don't you see me trying?"
She shook her head at him, scooting a little closer. "Don't act like that with me," she told him softly as she felt his body go rigid from the contact of their arms. He was looking away now, choosing to be the child he could be at times. She sighed, and decided to take the risk. Hesitantly, she reached over, grabbing his face with some care and turning his head so he could look at her, so she could finally read the emotions in his eyes. "I know you're trying. I know you want to protect everybody. But just because you feel like this is your responsibility doesn't mean you have to go through it alone. Let me in, Inuyasha."
His eyes were wide, but she could tell they had softened and all the frustration he was about to take out on her was gone in just a moment. She didn't like him being able to see all of the emotions in her eyes, but she didn't want to pull away. She wanted them to be okay again, and she wanted to know exactly what was going on, and she wanted her baby safe. She wanted a lot of things, but like Sango had said once, wanting was what children did.
"Inuyasha," she started again, a frown on her face when she got no reply. "Don't act like this. You're acting like a child again," she told him softly and quietly, her voice almost holding fear.
What she dreaded was exactly what happened. He broke away from her, frustrated once again. He stood abruptly as if she had hurt him in some kind of way. "I'm acting like a child?" he retaliated, crossing his arms. "You've got that wrong, Kagome. So wrong," he turned away and paced a bit, running his hand through his thick, uncombed heap of silver hair. "Do you know how worried I am? Do you know how hard I've been thinking? I'm all I've got for support now! And when I lay down, trying to get some sleep, I can't. Because inside of my head, it's just me and all of this shit!"
She stood too, not knowing exactly what she was going to do. But all she knew was that she didn't like seeing Inuyasha like this. He looked crazed, the whites of his eyes red, his golden eyes full of emotion, and his face concentrated every time she looked around to see him because he was in deep thought, in deep worry. She stepped close to him, maybe a little too close, because he backed away. And that hurt. She felt as if she disgusted him, but that wasn't what mattered right now.
He was still her best friend. She still knew how his mind worked, how it ticked. She knew the emotions that took over his eyes so well. Back then, before the sex had even began, the girls he had fooled around with before had hurt him at times, and he'd told her that people still judged her and being a half-demon hadn't gotten any better, even if he was older. Whenever he had told her these things, she would never really know what to do. All she could do back then was give him hope and wrap her arms around him and tell him that things would be okay, that people were stupid for judging him.
Inuyasha had never bitched about his problems. He'd seem angry, frustrated, and she wouldn't dare asking him what was wrong because she was scared she'd end up with her feelings hurt. So instead, they talked about simple things, and he always made the mistake of letting his problems slip out of his mouth, and before he could make amendments to his words, she would always catch on before he could. And then, she'd slip her arms around his neck and whisper in his ear that whatever it was, it would be okay.
And so that's what she would do now. It was the first time he'd ever been so open about his feelings, and she knew why. He was worried and he was guilty. But she had forgiven him for her sake and for her child's sake. Things had to change and they couldn't stay this way. She didn't want anymore arguments. All she wanted was for things to be the way they used to be. Once again, she knew wanting was what children do. But she couldn't help it. Not if it came to Inuyasha or the baby.
Before he could stop her or ask her what she was doing, she flung herself against him, her arms around his neck, face buried into his chest. It felt intimate, but it didn't matter right now. She wanted him to know he wasn't alone, that she had even dreamed of the things he'd been thinking about.
Her eyes were closed, and she hoped with everything in her that he wouldn't push her away and shut her out. She didn't feel his arms wrap around her immediately, but finally, they did, and she almost whimpered but buried her face deeper into his chest instead.
"I have the right to know, too, Inuyasha," she murmured, raising her face up and meeting his eyes. "You're not alone. I heard Mama while she was talking to you this morning," she admitted. "She was right. You're family. I know you're trying hard to sort it all out. But don't leave me out. I'm his mother, and I love him just as much as I know you do. Don't push me away."
She felt pretty stupid, grabbing onto him like this out of nowhere. But she felt as if it needed to be done. She felt as if he needed to understand that she was right here and she wasn't going anywhere, and she wanted to really understand this whole situation, too. But she didn't want him to go through all of this alone.
He was about to pull away without saying a word. That's exactly what he did. She stood there, feeling even more stupid before she felt anger take over her. "There you go again," she growled. "You are a child! don't you realize that you shouldn't be going through this all alone?" her voice was softening. "Yash, if you're going to take a stand, we're doing it together."
"Kagome," he started softly, running another hand through his hair, "Don't you realize you can get hurt? And what do you think I would do if I lose you and the baby? Huh? Did you ever think about that?" His voice was husky, and their faces were impossibly close so that she could feel his hot breath tickle her face. Her eyes trailed down to his full lips, even though she knew this wasn't the right time for that kind of thinking.
"We're going to be okay," she breathed into his sensitive ear, leaning closer to him so that their lips were only centimeters away. But she was scared to make the first move. She was thinking of all of the wrong things and he was making her hot, making it harder for her to focus. Maybe it was the way her body was changing and the increased hormones, or the crazy libido she still felt between them. But she wanted him, dammit, and she wanted to make him feel alright, even if only for a moment. "Just let me…just trust me again, dammit."
He chuckled a little, and the sound made her close her eyes. He was still close, and she had the inane feeling that he'd leave, that he was disgusted. He stopped chuckling, and she heard his frustrated voice again over her racing heart. "Fuck, Kagome. I know what you're thinking," he wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear. "Stop thinking bad of me. I can sense that you are."
She opened her eyes to meet his. "Inuyasha-"
He sighed in return. "What're you thinking?"
He pulled away from her, and she felt disappointed. What was he doing? Playing with her once again? Did he really not want her that much? She missed him. And all along, she had been wondering how he had been coping. She had really missed him, missed him so fucking much that it hurt, so much that sometimes, she'd be thinking about him over and over again and she'd find herself crying.
This was stupid. She should've been feeling fine since she felt like he wanted to be apart of the baby's life. But she wanted him to be apart of hers too. She was always wanting, needing. She didn't want to need Inuyasha, especially if he felt nothing for her. Her feel were unrequited, and she was stupid for thinking he could reciprocate them.
"Leave it alone," she said. "It's almost noon and Souta's still in bed. I need to go grocery shopping for Mama, anyway."
She was about to walk out of her bedroom door to get the fuck away from all of those emotions, but before she could even take her first step out of the tiny room, he grabbed a hold of her arm. Harshly. Claws almost digging into her soft flesh.
"You don't go anywhere without me by your side. Nowhere, Kagome," he said, baring his fangs. "You weren't going anywhere, anyway. At least not until you tell me what the fuck is going through that head of yours. You're thinking bad about me, and I don't know why."
She pulled away from him, her eyes challenging his. "What does it matter?"
He let go of her, growling and clenching his eyes shut. "This is how everything got so fucked up in the first place! You want me to trust you, but how can I do that when you won't even tell me what's on your mind? I told you."
She watched him in interest. If telling him meant that he would calm down, she would. She didn't like the idea of her stressing him out more than he already was. Quietly, she told him, "You barely let me touch you anymore. You hardly let me help you. And if you really want to know, this is me falling apart, coming undone. But it shouldn't matter because now's not the time to focus on us. You need to focus on everybody, and I know that's stressful and I wanted to help you. But I can't when I don't even know how to help myself. And I need to focus on him," she smoothed a hand over her stomach. "And maybe, trying to work things out between us will just make me feel more stressed. I can't do this."
He growled, but there was no hint of anger in his eyes. "No. We need to focus on not falling apart."
"I can't fight with you," she said warily. "Screaming and shouting won't keep you."
He froze a little. "You want me to stay if we make it out alive?"
"For the baby," she answered, her voice quiet.
Inuyasha sighed. "And what's she gonna think of her parents? What if we're still arguing like we are now, still fighting with you saying you hate me?" she winced a little, but before she could open her mouth to protest, he started again. "What will she thinks when she won't have a brother or sister? And what about when she sees that her parents aren't like her friend's parents? What then, Kagome? What do we do?"
He was making her feel stupid again. "How can we do any of those things when you won't even let me touch you, Inuyasha? It's like I fucking disgust you!"
He was in her face in seconds. "The shit you come up with, I fucking swear, Kagome! Did anyone tell you that I was disgusted with you?"
"No, but you showed me. You showed me when you sat beside of me and refused to even touch arms. You showed me when I tried to get you to look at me instead of avoiding my eyes, when I tried to get you to understand that I care, that you can let me in. You moved away. You moved fast. And when I tried to hug you and tell you that you weren't alone, you pulled away without a word. And when you pulled away after we had gotten so close-"
"Shut up," he interrupted her. "Stop."
"No," she said simply. "Why'd you do it? You really can't stand the idea of me pregnant and fat, useless?"
"Stop," he warned with a growl and she listened, scared to say anything else. "Have you ever felt so fucking worthless and idiotic that you could barely stand yourself? Maybe that's how you're feeling now, but you're wrong. You're completely wrong about everything, Kagome! You know why I didn't respond the way you wanted me to? I don't have that fucking privilege anymore!"
"Inuyasha," she started, her voice quiet. "You've always had it, no matter what. If you didn't, you think I would've let you stay with me last night?" she moved closer to him. "You've always had my trust, too. I know you're sorry. I forgive you. I need to forgive me."
She stepped closer so that they were just centimeters away once again. He inhaled deeply, pulling her close to him. "I'm sorry. You know damned well I don't hate you, that I never could. Forgive me."
Instead of saying anything, he pulled her closer, cradling her body against his before his lips met hers in a soft, long kiss. His tongue slowly slid over her bottom lip and she whimpered, allowing him entrance. His tongue swiftly glided across hers, and then, he began moving, pushing her back along with him.
They made it to the bed, but she was too wrapped up in the kisses he was giving her to notice. He pushed her back even more, and she let out a yelp, falling onto the bed and bringing him along with her. He landed on top of her and she groaned almost painfully, and his eyes widened.
"Shit," he cursed, pulling away from her. "Did I hurt you?"
Instead of answering, she laughed out loud, and he looked at her, confused. Her laughs quieted down to giggles, and before he could say anything else, she grabbed him by his silver hair, pulling him down on top of her and meeting him for another kiss. She bit his lip hard, felt his tongue glide against hers once more. His tongue continued to explore her mouth, and she moaned as her tongue met his and began battling for dominance. In the end, he gave in and let her do just what she wanted. Her hand found his ears, and instantly, he moaned into her mouth.
She felt his hard erection pressing against her through his jeans, making wetness settle between her thighs. She arched up into him, gasping as his hands massaged her breasts. His tongue was still moving against hers, in and out of her mouth, over and over again. He growled, quickly pulling away so she could catch her breath.
His eyes were focused on hers, and she still couldn't say what she knew she felt. And when she'd said that she hated him, she had meant the exact opposite. In all truth, she loved him so much it hurt, but she wouldn't tell him that. She didn't want to be the first.
"What's wrong?" he asked her, his voice raspy and heavy with lust. His eyes were full of lust, too, so full with that emotion that she could hardly decipher anything else he was feeling.
But what was she supposed to say? She wouldn't tell him. But if she didn't, wouldn't everything be the same way it was before? She didn't want to seem needy or desperate or lonely. But she was all of those things. She was desperate for love and affection, but most of all, she was desperate for him. And he was still searching her eyes for some kind of answer, looking sure of himself and sly, and she wondered in that moment if anyone thought as strongly as he did.
Maybe they couldn't say those three words right now. Maybe now, it just wasn't the time. But at least she knew she meant something to him. Maybe one day they would find one another in a place that was better than this, a time filled with only them and the things they could never say. She didn't want to lose him if she decided to give herself to him this very moment. She couldn't lose him. He was her home. Because if he left her, who was she going to have to hold down? And who would make her feel better about everything? And who would make her day by saying the most stupid things, making her smile?
She had made herself the fool for falling for him. Maybe it would be better to just give up, but she really didn't want to.
Sometimes, she wanted to feel smaller underneath her sheets. She wished for the whole truth every time he spoke or looked at her. But then, she thought about how much she cared for him, and how sometimes she felt as if he cared half as much for her. And if she even decided to have sex with him in this moment, when she woke up from her euphoria, she didn't want to watch him smoke cigarettes and she didn't want him ignoring her. She didn't want this to ruin things. She didn't want him to stick what he knew she felt for him in the pocket of his jeans, lock it away and forget all about it the next day. She didn't want his heart to tear hers away.
He must've sensed the tension, because he frowned. "Kagome, what's wrong?" he asked, pulling away slightly. "We…we don't have to do this if you're not ready."
She smiled a little. He did care. He noticed. He stopped. But she didn't want him to. And she felt like things would be alright when this was over. So she smiled even wider and shook her head, pulling him down and crushing her lips against his again.
He groaned and unintentionally grinded his hips against her, causing her to moan. "I want you, Kagome," he whispered into her ear. "I really, really fucking want you. And if you give me another chance, I can fucking promise you I won't screw up this time. I'll be the best I can be for you and the baby. I'll give you whatever you want. You already know I'd give up my life protecting you, don't you?"
His words brought butterflies to her stomach. But still, she couldn't say it. So instead, she nodded her head, a small smile playing across her lips before pulling him in for another kiss.
She felt his hands roaming over her stomach, under her bra. She moaned into his mouth, and she reached down between him, fumbling with the belt on his jeans. She let out a light whine when she realized that she couldn't get them off fast enough. Inuyasha chuckled. "Take your time."
She made a sound of frustration, deciding to leave his difficult jeans alone for now.
He wanted to take his time with her. Maybe it was because he didn't want to remember all of those other times. They always had fast, rough, sweaty sex. He wanted to make sure she would feel as good as she always made him feel.
Her shirt was thrown to the floor, long-forgotten. As was her bra. She moaned lightly as he kissed her neck, her chest heaving in anticipation. Languidly, he trailed his tongue down, and she heard her whisper his name as he swept it over her nipples. Greedily, he began sucking at one, his hand massaging her other breast. Her back arched in an almost feline way as she grinded her hips up into his erection. She was losing herself so quickly in her world of euphoria and bliss. That was the effect he'd always had on her, though. The tip of his claw brushed across her nipple lightly, and she grinded into him again, letting out a moan.
He loved the way she looked when she was so aroused. He pulled away from her body, moving up to press his lips against hers, intentions to make them even more swollen. Her eyelids stayed closed, and her face was flushed. Perspiration was already starting to stick onto their skin, and although he wanted to take things slow, he wanted her completely bare, and he wanted out of his clothes, too. But he wanted to have patience. He wanted to make her feel special.
So instead of shredding their clothes off, he worked slowly. She let out a little groan as his mouth moved away from her nipple. He languidly slid his tongue up and down her neck, imagining where he could mark her if he wanted to. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. He didn't know if she was ready. He didn't know if he was ready. And plus, with some man he did not know of on the verge of breaking them down, there was no time for it.
"Inuyasha," she breathed impatiently, her chest still heaving up and down, her hips still grinding against his in need.
He wanted to tell her that she had to be patient, but he was too busy trying to make her body feel good. He smirked against her skin before kissing down her body, to her stomach.
She giggled out, making Inuyasha smirk again. He was kissing the tiny bump on her stomach, his hand rubbing against it. It was a weird feeling, but it brought absolute bliss. She felt butterflies again, and wondered if it was the baby's way of responding to Inuyasha. "At least wait until I get bigger," she told him, a stupid smile still on her face. "But I think that he likes you already."
"Really?" he responded, his voice still husky, she looked down to see him with a toothy grin on his face. "I think she likes me, too."
He continued on torturing her body, kissing it and running his tongue along her soft flesh, leaving her insane. Slowly, he stuck both thumbs on the insides of her denim shorts before sliding them down. He heard her let out a low whimper, wanting him to continue on and hurry up. He threw her useless shorts somewhere along the floor before also hooking his thumbs on the insides of her panties, sliding them down.
He pushed her knees apart, and she sat up, but before she could tell him that she wanted him to hurry up and go faster, before she could tell him how badly she wanted him, his head was between her thighs, stroking her clit with his tongue. She threw her head back harshly against the softness of her mattress, letting out a loud moan and completely forgetting that her mother may have heard her. She didn't care. She whimpered as he stroked her clit with his tongue harder, and grinded her hips up into his face, silently begging for more.
When she felt his tongue enter into her, she was sure she was in heaven.
And the funny thing was that they'd done this so many times before and she still didn't know how to control herself.
"Inuyasha," she was begging for more, panting, her chest moving up and down rapidly as he continued to bring her closer and closer to an orgasm.
His tongue went back to licking her clit, and her eyelids fluttered as they closed again. She bucked her hips against his face again, letting out a sharp cry, her back arching off the bed. She reached down, pulling on his hair, begging for more. Because Kagome was never shy when it came to sex.
Once again, his tongue was thrusting in and out of her. With the pads of his fingertips, he rubbed against her clit. By now, her legs were spread, and all of her shyness had disappeared. He peaked up at her as he continued to pleasure her and the site of her face right now was enough to make him cum. Her hair was sticking out in every direction, a big heap of raven curls and waves. Her lips were red and swollen, her face sweaty and her cheeks flushed. The expression on her face almost looked pained from the immense pleasure she was receiving.
Kagome felt like she was on fire. She felt like she was going to explode. And she did as she cried out his name in pure ecstasy and bliss. She felt as if she had blacked out for a second or two, her body shaking. She felt Inuyasha's lips on her again, and she felt his hands slip between her thighs.
"Are you ready, Kagome?" he asked her, his voice raspy in her ear. He ran his tongue along her neck, wanting to mark her badly.
When she had recovered from her orgasm, she opened her eyes to see him. His bangs were already damp, sticking to the sides of his face. He was pulling his shirt off, but she pushed his hands away, pulling it off instead. His chest was mesmerizing. She was honestly lucky. His chest was chiseled like he was some kind of god, and slowly, she let her hand run up his chest, a smirk playing at her lips when she heard him groan.
He reached for the buckle of his jeans, and she bit her lip at the sound of it unbuckling. She ran her hand up his chest again, surprised at how much she needed him in this one moment. She pulled up, sitting at the edge of the bed, still watching him, mesmerized with the body that she knew by heart.
She was getting even more wet just by watching his face as he shed himself of his jeans and boxers, tossing them off to the side along with her clothes. Before he could crawl back on top of her, she stopped him. He had done her a favor, so she wanted to do him one.
With one swift move, she reached out her hand, grabbing his erection and carefully pumping it up and down in her cool hand. He groaned after he got over the surprise of what she'd did to him. "What're you doing, Kagome?" He asked her through clenched teeth. She smirked at him, pumping her hand faster, squeezing it tight around his cock. His eyes were on her as she did so, and when his eyes flashed red only to quickly turn back to their usual melting gold color, her smirk widened.
"You deserve this," she spoke softly. "You're stressed. I want to make you feel better."
His head fell back when he felt her warm mouth engulf his dick, and immediately, he thrust his hips forward. His head fell back, sweat falling into his half-lidded eyes. When he moaned and grabbed her by her hair, his thick erection seemed to harden even more. Wetness was still pooling between her thighs, and had her clit throbbing for some attention. Kagome slowly, painfully bobbed her head up and down his hard erection, and he groaned, beginning to rock his hips forward a little bit harder.
Her free hand was massaging his balls, and she pulled back, her tongue running over his slit, making him hiss. The pre-cum in her mouth was salty, and she wanted him to enjoy this as much as he could. She slowly took his head into her mouth, working at it, licking, while her other hand rubbed his shaft. He was moving his hips back and forth faster, but still, he was careful not to hurt her.
He whined because he didn't want her to be careful. He wanted her to take it all, but this wasn't supposed to be some quickie. It was supposed to have some kind of meaning, and he honestly didn't want to ruin that. So Kagome continued her tantalizing, slow licks, and he stopped moving his hips, letting her do exactly as she wished.
"Fuck, Kagome," he whispered, lost in pleasure. "Fuck!"
Finally, he allowed himself to move his hips, but he was still careful. And when he came in her mouth, she thought it would be unending. He let out a near whimper as the warm, salty, thick liquid coated her tongue, and as he watched her swallow it down.
She still had the devilish smirk on her face when he reached down to pull her up. She held his grip on her hands, and then pushed him down on the bed, carefully crawling atop of him, straddling him. They moaned at their contact, and Kagome leaned down to press her cheek against his, her breath coming out in pants already.
"I'm on top," he told her, his voice raspy. "I'll feel emasculated if you are."
She made a face at him, but obeyed with him anyway.
He flipped her over carefully before crawling on top of her. "Be careful. Don't press too hard on my stomach."
He chuckled, leaning down so his lips could meet hers once more. "Never," he said with a smirk, spreading her legs for him.
He leaned down to kiss her again, softly, no tongue involved. He kissed her, his mouth moving against hers in all of the things he felt for her. And he felt as if her mouth was moving the same way against his. But still, he couldn't bring himself to say those three words. But he knew that if he couldn't tell her, he at least had to show her. He wanted to show her, even if he wasn't completely sure of his feelings for her.
She whimpered into his mouth when he slowly pushed into her, his body hot against hers. She panted, immediately breaking out into a sweat. Her eyes closed tightly, her face immediately flushing. He pushed into her slowly again, letting her moan into his mouth. Sweat was trailing down into his eyes, and he squeezed them shut tight before opening them again. He pushed inside of her again, harder, making her back slide up the mattress, making her hair frizz up even more.
"Fuck," he panted, his breath hot against her neck. He placed butterfly kisses on her skin, all over her neck, his eyes focused on the junction between her neck and her collarbone. He licked her right there lethargically, dog-like. He was showing affection, and she felt butterflies in her stomach again. He opened his eyes and focused them on the stunning woman that lay beneath him. "Open your eyes," he told her suddenly. He didn't want them closed. He wanted her to see how fucking crazy he really was for her. "Keep your eyes on mine."
Her body had always amazed him to no end, she knew that well. She was as beautiful as she had been back in high school. She had always been beautiful, even if he didn't tell her that enough. She knew. She knew just how crazy she drove him. Back when she was just in high school, she had been skinnier, a few curves, but not as many as she held now. She was perfection, and everything he could've ever wanted. She knew his body better than she knew her on, and he knew hers better than he knew his own. He knew what made her trimble and shake, he knew what made her scream and what put her in the mood.
She did as he said, and slowly, he began pumping in and out of her, letting out a low, primal growl. "You're mine, Kagome."
Those words made her scent shift to something that still held her soft, sweet scent, but it was darker, deeper, intoxicating, more excited, more erotic. He kissed her neck again before suckling at her delicate flesh. She buried her fingers into his hair, massaging his scalp almost. He pushed into her again, to the hilt, making her cry out and making it sound like she could stop breathing at anytime soon.
"Yours," she moaned out, grabbing his hair and tugging him down so she could meet his lips again.
He pulled away, golden eyes still focused on hers. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, forcing him to go deeper, but he wasn't at all complaining. He was relishing. She wanted him harder. She wanted him giving her his all. She wanted everything. She didn't care. Maybe she was being selfish, wanting him to only be hers, but she couldn't help it. He rocked his hips against hers harder, and she began to move with him, moved in the rhythm he was moving in.
He felt her hands on his ass, and she pulled him closer to her. Their bodies were sheen with perspiration from their sex. "Fast, Yasha, faster," she breathed out, her chest heaving up and down and her heart racing like his. "Please." She begged, her nails scraping down his back, making him hiss with pleasure.
She let out a loud moan as he obeyed her commands, wrapping her slick legs around his waist, pulling him even closer to her. Her eyes were still locked with his. It was the most intense, personal, and intimate thing she'd ever experienced, looking into his eyes as he took over her whole body, claiming her on the inside as his. She wanted to be his and only his.
The bed was moving along with them now as he took both of them to heaven, making sure she got a glimpse of the stars and the moon. She was moaning loudly, her nails digging even deeper into his back, making him hiss, making him groan. He heard roaring in his ear and he desperately tried to control himself before he marked her with something she may not have wanted. He fought against his demon as he slammed hard into her over and over again, the sound of his flesh smacking against hers. She felt so good, so tight around him.
His demon was still wanting all the control. His eyes flashed red and he knew Kagome saw, but he continued to fight against it. He fought hard because he didn't want to ruin this moment by doing something that she wouldn't want, especially in the state that they were in now. It wasn't the time for romance, and maybe it wasn't even the time for babies, but they couldn't help that. But he wanted to prove to her that she was perfect, that she was the only one who could ever be perfect to him. He wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted to prove that she didn't disgust him, he wanted to prove that...
"I love you," she muttered before letting out a loud moan, her hips thrusting wildly against his as he pumped in and out of her. She must've not thought that he'd heard her, but he did. He He'd heard her loud and clear. With that wonderful thought in his mind, he continued pumping in and out of her hard, his flesh still smacking against hers as she whimpered. She felt the same and she'd been the first to admit.
Kagome's world shattered instantly. Her heart skipped a few beats and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She bit her lip, but it wasn't able to stop the scream that escaped her mouth. Before she could finish the sound, Inuyasha pressed his mouth against hers, and with one hard thrust, it was finally his turn to scream into her mouth. She felt his hot seed coat the inside of her body, making her feel full and warm. He gave one more thrust, milking the cum completely from his body, unloading into her. He panted heavily against her cheek, both of their bodies shaking from the intense orgasms they'd just experienced.
He carefully rolled himself off of her, careful not to put pressure on her stomach because honestly, he didn't know what went on with pregnant women, but he didn't want to crush her or the baby. He felt her body mold against his, felt her chin against his shoulder. No words were spoken as she softly kissed his shoulder wrapping an arm around him and snuggling her naked body close to his, her breathing still uneven.
They both felt warm and sated and sluggish, now. They spoke no words to each other. They had seen everything in each other's eyes, and they understood the other one's feelings well. Hearing her words had been final for him, even if she thought he hadn't heard.
But the thing was that both were too scared to take the risk. They were both too scared of crashing and burning. So for now, those three words wouldn't be mentioned anytime soon.
A/N: Gahh, upsetting, isn't it? Well, it's all going to be okay. Now honestly, I've had only one reviewer tell me what they wanted the baby to be, and I think it may have been a while back. At first I wanted a boy, but now, I kinda want a girl. But I'm up for whatever you guys want them to have!
Oh, yeah, and sorry about my lemon skills seeming a bit rusty. I hadn't wrote one in a while, and the power went completely off at my house so by the time it was back on, I was like I've got to hurry up and finish writing this! So I rushed it, even though it was supposed to be love-making. Sorry guys. And sorry if you didn't like it, but the sex had to happen. It was necessary, and honestly, I really don't know when the next lemon will be, but it will probably be necessary, too. You know, they have to...erm...mate.
You guys will probably be hearing more about Naraku and Kikyo and everyone the next chapter, and if not that, the next one. I think it'll take over 20 chapters to completely finish this story, so bear with me, please. And I have back-ups, just in case FF stumbles across some of my stories.
Thanks for the reviews! And don't forget to review this chapter! A girl needs all the love she can get(: