Fear was something that she wasn't entirely familiar with, but in that moment where she was alone in the darkness without his comforting arms around her, all she felt was the overpowering emotion. So she sat there, her knees up to her chest and her hands trembling. In her mind, she felt that with fear, you weren't entirely existing. She wanted to reject the emotion, the feeling, but her heart was still pumping and she was cold and she felt evil.
Her hands were still shaking as she covered her eyes like a baby. The worst thing was that she couldn't see anything, but she could feel everything. Is this what darkness did to you? Is this how blind men felt? It must've been hell. Your emotions were intensified and you felt everything, but you could see nothing.
There were teasing voices in her head. Voices that told her to run, but she was sure if she even tried, her legs would give out beneath her. She felt boneless and weaker than she'd ever felt.
And then, she heard it.
It was the crying of a baby. Sharp, painful cries.
Her baby was in pain, and without a second thought, she stood to her feet, calling the child who was without a name. Another pained cry. Her baby almost sounded like it was dying. Her baby boy. She was trying to build courage to hold back the floods of fear. But the damn broke and fear gave in, and so did tears.
She was feeling the pain now, taking all of it. She hissed, bowing over as pain went through her stomach. The baby's cries were intensifying. Vertigo surged through her head, and she felt even more boneless and helpless. The sharp pain was still there. And her baby boy, he was helpless, too.
She felt as if she was facing imminent death.
But she stood, pain and all, as she realized that she didn't want to fear anything, she only wanted to understand and escape still alive with her baby.
The evil feeling intensified and so did the fear.
She fell helplessly to her knees, the sound of her baby's cries still in her head. She left her baby in fear of the evil as she escaped from it all.
XXXxxxXXX
It was the thrashing of the bed that immediately awoke him. His ears twitched as he heard her whimper, and he sat up immediately. She was faced away from him, but she thrashed again and turned so he could see her. So he could see that she was crying. That she was still sleeping while she cried.
His heart clenched and immediately, he stretched out a hand to awaken her.
But Kagome wasn't having it. She cried even worse, her face twisted up in obvious pain. He shook her gently, her naked, soft flesh hot despite the cold that filled the room due to her half opened window.
He took her into his arms, her naked skin pressed against his. "Kagome," he whispered, that clench still on his heart. "Kagome, it's just a dream. Wake up. Come back to me." He rocked her gently, scared out of his mind. Was she in physical pain? Was something wrong with his kid that was making his or her mother cry? Or was all of this just because of that bastard who was supposedly after them for some reason that was unbeknownst to the both of them?
She wasn't sobbing. She cried with soft whines, but still, they left him completely fearful. He held her close, hoping that she'd know that he was here, that he was her protection.
"Kagome," he whispered again, and she finally opened her eyes so he could see them and hope that he could find out what was going on and what she dreamed about.
"I left him. I fucking left him, Yash. What's he going to do without me?" She sobbing hysterically and he didn't know what to do. So he continued to rock her softly, letting her tears soak into his flesh.
"It's all a dream. She's okay," his hand made his way to her stomach, "and you're okay, and I am, too. Now come back to me, Kagome. Please."
He was surprised to find his words had calmed her down. She slipped out of his arms, laying flat on her back, her sheets still covering her naked body. She looked at the ceiling, fear in her eyes, and he couldn't take it all. She was still crying, tears spilling from her eyes helplessly.
So he carefully crawled atop of her, and she closed her eyes as he kissed away all of her fear. "I used to have nightmares, too. You know that, Kagome," he said. "But dreams, they lie. And it's all okay because I'm here and I'll always be, even if you try your hardest to push me away." He said these things gently, almost like a lover's voice in the morning. And Kagome didn't know if he felt love, or if he felt far from it.
His lips were hot on her cold ones. His kisses were soft and quick, no tongue involved. But he held feeling in each one of them and to her, they were gifts. Her hands cupped his cheek and she blinked the rest of her tears away.
He was distracting her with kisses as he slipped inside of her. He was slow and gentle, both of them moaning into the others mouth from the much needed connection. His hands were rough and his palms were calloused, but they felt gentle and almost soft as they glided across her skin. She felt like she was the ocean and more as he rocked inside of her, comforting her even more. It was a rising and falling of her chest, and the motions of his love making that calmed her. She felt his heart beating just as fast as hers. She felt his hot breath coming out in pants against her cheek, and he buried his head into her shoulder.
No words were spoken. He was her sanctuary. The only sounds that were heard in the seemingly vacancy of her room were muffled moans as he continued to rock her into peace. He was making love to her. It wasn't rough and it wasn't angry. He was doing this to make her feel safe and to make her feel completely connected with him, and that was all she felt in those last moments as they moaned into each others mouths once again, shuddering as they reached their high and the ache within them became too much to handle.
When it was all done, she almost wanted to say 'I love you.' But she didn't because she still knew that he wasn't ready for that. And if he was, she would remember that it had always been tough for him to catch onto his emotions and define them, and it was certainly hard for him to say it and make them final and definite.
So instead, She snuggled into his chest and said, "I'm glad you're here, Inuyasha."
He smiled softly, and with his eyes, he told her that he loved her.
XXXxxxXXX
Naraku was angry. And Kikyo knew that from the moment he walked through the door. But then again, there was also something else in his eyes. Excitement. She was dreading what he had to say and what he'd do next. He was looking at her, his expression stoic but his eyes showing everything. After all, he was what he didn't want to be. He was something that still had emotion no matter how hard he tried not to let it show. He was a half demon.
"That bitch," he started, "That bitch has something that I want."
Fear went through her heart. But not only for Inuyasha, the man who had made her feel something better than how Naraku made her feel, even if he loved someone else. She felt fear for that girl he loved. "N-Naraku…" she muttered. "What exactly does she have?"
The guilt was enough to make her sob, because if she had pushed Inuyasha away, him and whoever his girlfriend was wouldn't be going through all of this shit.
"You know she's pregnant, don't you?" Naraku told her, a nasty smirk on his face. "She's fucking pregnant. I guess there's another useless half breed about to claw it's way out of the womb and to a place where it doesn't belong."
She wanted to protest. She wanted to know what he'd say if they ever had a baby together. She wanted to know what he would do if she told him to his face that he was a half demon, too. "Naraku, what does she have?"
The nasty smirk widened. "The bitch has the Shikon no Tama."
There were no words that could slip past her lips. She watched him for the first time in her life with hate in her eyes.
XXXxxxXXX
It was going on noon, and he was sleeping peacefully while she wasn't.
His arms that were wrapped tightly around her resembled her of castles, protecting her. She felt safe and she felt sated and she didn't want the moment to end, but she knew that Mama would probably start suggesting things, and the thought of that brought a bright blush to her cheeks. But the feeling that she had always got when he was around her made her lazy and too cozy to move.
But there were things to be done. There were certain people to see and still, she had to go grocery shopping. She had to figure out a way to help Mama pay the bills, and she had to take care of Jii-chan, make sure that he was doing okay. But she did not want to move.
She ran her hand over his face, lightly caressing his cheek. And then she ran a hand through his hair, so grateful for him, so grateful that he was there and doing his best to protect her and the baby. Her hand reached up to his ears to caress them, and he made a sound in his sleep that made her almost laugh. But instead, she sported a soft smile on her lips and pure love in her eyes for no one but him.
She sighed before leaning over to kiss him on his temple, and then, she reluctantly unwrapped his arms from around her and tried to start her day.
XXXxxxXXX
It was the perfect day outside.
She had left without a word to her Mama and without a word to Inuyasha. Souta was at soccer practice with Kohaku. Sango was probably at counseling with Miroku. After all, they had decided that they still needed to work around the few broken pieces in their marriage. Rin was probably studying or somewhere with Sesshomaru. Mama was worried, probably. Inuyasha was most likely furious. But she needed to think.
Thinking of the dream she'd had this morning still sent shivers down her back.
But here, she felt safe. Maybe not as safe as she felt when she was around Inuyasha, but she was safe enough. There was a warm feeling in her belly and a soft smile on her lips as she watched children play, their parents watching them grow up right before her eyes. Her hand rested on her stomach. That was the kind of like she wanted him to have. She wanted him to feel safe and not go through the fear that she still felt in the back of her mind. It nagged her, and it was like the fear she had developed was the devil himself. Her mind was swimming with possibilities, imagining the worst scenario possible.
All of the people she loved; what if she lost them? What would she do, then? What would she do when Naraku struck her at the worst time possible?
She had to remind herself that tonight was the night of the new moon. The worst time possible for Inuyasha. She imagined how he must've felt. He would be back to feeling the same emotions she did. He was half demon, and he depended on that for remaining strong; physically and emotionally. He wouldn't have claws. He wouldn't have the fangs that scared most of the boys that used to flirt with her away. He would still be strong. He was always strong, stronger than she could ever hope to be. But he wouldn't have that tiny ounce of power he depended so much upon. What would Naraku do? And how would he do it?
In the most painful ways possible, she knew that.
She looked around, the sun in her eyes.
And there he was. Kouga.
At first, she wanted to at least give him a hello. And when she realized the condition she was in and knew he could most likely smell it, she wanted to run. Realization hit her. All of those times when he had said she smelled different-but now, he would definitely know now. He would be sure of it, and she didn't know how he would take it. After all, he had kissed her. And it wasn't against her will, she'd asked him to. And what would he think of her?
But before she could get her shit together and swiftly walk away, maybe back home, he was walking up to her. He held a smirk on his lips, and she put on a fake smile. But she was nervous and she knew he would be able to tell.
"Kagome," he said. "Where've you been? I haven't seen you around here in a while."
She sputtered and honestly contemplated turning away without a word. But before she could help herself, she was spitting out apologies in every direction. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for last time, I know I shouldn't have asked you to do that and I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway, Kouga."
He smirked and moved closer to her. "You didn't hurt me."
He still smelt the hanyou's scent on her. It clung heavily to her skin, but she wasn't mated. Not yet. And now, he knew. Two and two came together and he shook his head at her. But the fear that he smelled was almost overpowering the scent of the pup within her. He pulled her arm gently, tugging her against him.
"Kouga-" she gasped, confusion in her eyes. Finally, she tried to tug her arm back, her anger flaring.
"No. Did he hurt you? Did he hurt the woman who's carrying his own pup?" Kagome felt her eyes widen at this, unbeknownst to the fact that her cheeks were flushed from his realization and the exertion of trying to pull away from his grip.
"I'm not hurt," she panted out. "So it would be nice if you let me go. I'm okay."
He did as she wished, and when she got her arm back, she held it with her hand as if he'd actually hurt her. She looked around, happy to realize he hadn't made a scene. "Kouga, I've got to go. I've got to get back home."
"At least tell me why your fear is almost stronger than the scent of that pup you're carrying. At least tell me how long you've known. You're not showing much. I gave you my number. You could've called to let me know at least something, Kagome."
"It's complicated," was all she said, desperately trying to get away. She hadn't been expecting things to go this bad.
"Well, how's he treat you?" Kouga asked, his face serious.
"That's complicated, too."
"Kagome-" he started, only to be interrupted by her.
"Like I said, it's complicated. But it took two to make this baby and he understands that, and that's all I really want from him. If he doesn't love me, I'm glad that he at least loves his kid. That's all I need, Kouga." Kagome told him simply. "Listen, how about I give you a call sometime? I've got to get home, I'm not feeling so well."
And honestly, she wasn't feeling too good. The morning sickness- which was bullshit, because you got it whenever the fuck your baby made you feel like having it- hadn't got better at all. And the fact that she was suddenly so jittery and anxious wasn't helping it, either.
So she left Kouga standing there dumbfounded while she hoped that she wasn't hurting him.
XXXxxxXXX
"Where in the fuck is she?" Inuyasha roared to no one in particular as he paced around downstairs. He was getting weird stares from her family, but they knew the deal. Nobody got left behind. Now wasn't the time for this shit, and he was getting more pissed off as he counted the seconds, realizing that the bitch still wasn't her.
Maybe she'd gone to pick Souta up and walk him home safely to be sure that nothing was going on. But still, she seemed to agree when he told her that he didn't want her going off by herself.
So what in the fuck was going on?
XXXxxxXXX
She had done as he wished just to have the possibility of escaping all of this madness one day. Naraku was sitting there with a smirk on his face, almost challenging her, daring her to say that she didn't do as he wished so he could hurt her like he hurt the crying woman in the corner.
Kikyo's head snapped when she came in the room. She folded her arms over her chest and the sobbing that she thought was silent, but definitely wasn't, calmed down. Naraku pulled away from her.
Kagura shot her a sympathetic look, the most that Kikyo would ever get from her. Kikyo was the one who had put herself in the situation. Kikyo was the one who refused to listen to him, which resulted her getting even more hurt in the end. She was naked, bruises covering her body. She tried to hide herself from the girl's view, but Kagura had seen this so many times before and now, she was very used to it.
She knew how the girl felt.
She knew how it felt to want an escape.
One day, she would break free from it all. She promised that to herself.
"It's done," she told him, her voice raspy with no emotion just as her face.
He gave her a mere nod before looking back to Kikyo who was scared out of her mind as always when he was around. How could she love someone who treated her like this? "You see?" he said, his voice gentle. "Maybe if you'd obey me, you'd get the same treatment that Kagura does."
Kagura was still watching, Kikyo was still covering herself in shame. Kagura saw her ribs. She saw how boneless she looked, she saw that fear in her eyes. She didn't dare do anything.
He fell on his knees before her, leaning close to her, kissing her naked and making her whimper. Kagura closed her eyes and shook her head in shame as she began to walk out of the room.
She could still hear him.
"Tell me you love me."
Kikyo said it gently, emotions nearly choking her and altering the way she spoke.
"I love you, Naraku."
The screams from her came anyway.
They would all escape this hell one day. Maybe she didn't deserve it for all of the things she'd done, but Kikyo deserved heaven and nothing less.
XXXxxxXXX
It was like the sky was on fire.
And then, there was darkness. Not real darkness you can see, but the darkness that you can feel. And everything was real because she saw it with her eyes and before she knew it, she was running full-speed to the scene before her eyes. He was laying there. But he was alive still, and that's all that mattered. His breathing was labored. His lips slowly turning blue. And it felt like the people who were supposed to be saving his life were moving way too slow.
She was crying. She was screaming and crying at them because she wanted to touch him and they wouldn't let her. She wanted to whisper into his ear that he was not alone and she wanted to tell him that he couldn't give up, that he couldn't go on and leave her and Mama, because he was like her own child. And fuck, she was his mother and she was supposed to be beside of him.
She punched them. She punched all of them that were in her way. And when she was so close to touching him, someone grabbed her by her waist and pulled her back, but she punched whoever that was, too. She needed to be near him. She needed that. But the man or whoever he was recovered quickly and roughly shoved her back. She stumbled a bit, but she caught her balance. In that horrible moment, she forgot she was taking care of two. She felt like she wasn't a person. She just felt like she needed to be by his side.
So she fell helplessly to her knees as the man screamed something at her she didn't understand. Something she didn't listen to. She thought it was something along the lines of "miss, please back away," or "miss, you're not supposed to be here," and the people who weren't helping, the stupid people who just stood there with their eyes wide on his unmoving body and some with their wide eyes on her shouted to her that she was crazy.
But that's my baby brother. Mama can't lose someone who reminds her so much of Daddy.
But he was dying and they were doing nothing, so she let out a scream that pierced the air and wished for the nightmare to end.
She heard loud crying somewhere, and she figured that was strange because she was the only one who was supposed to be crying. And then, she felt someone jerk her up and pull her into their arms, and she knew those arms anywhere. She knew that deep, gruff, but honey-like voice and she knew those amber eyes that reminded her of pure gold.
How did this happen? How did she end up here? How did he end up on the ground, barely breathing?
She watched as they hauled him up and gently laid him on a stretcher. And then, he was off. The loud sounds of the ambulance and police pierced her ears and she winced and focused on his heartbeat, frankly not giving a fuck if she completely soaked his shirt with her tears. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. Mama was gone off somewhere. She couldn't hear her crying anymore. And she didn't want to because seeing another crying face that would confirm that all of this was real, so she buried her face deep into the warmth of him and let him protect her from everything.
She felt like hell. She felt on fire, and she felt like throwing up again. That made her remember the pregnancy. She felt like she was walking to her room in the dark and she could've swore there was another step, but there wasn't and she tripped up a little and tried to analyze the things she'd did wrong.
It was her fault.
She couldn't touch him and tell him that she was here. She left him alone, just like she left her baby alone in the dream.
Souta. Please be okay.
"I'm here," he told her over and over again. "I'm here, Kagome."
She loved him for that. For just being there.
A/N: Short and sweet(; Shit, more like short and sad. But hey, it had to happen. But anyway, everything will work out just fine. And btw, guys, thanks for all the site suggestions. You guys said you wanted twins, but I'm still not sure yet. Maybe. (:
Let me warn you guys, I've decided there are going to be more lemons in the future chapters, and I'm sorry, but it'll take just a little bit longer till he admits he loves her. Anyway, actions speak louder than words. Anybody agree? ANYBODY?
Reviews are love. I'll see you all again soon (: Oh and btw, sorry if there are any typos. I'm really in a hurry, I should've had this chapter out way sooner.