The shop was mostly empty when they entered, Adam holding the door open for Julie as she passed though the glass barrier. They sat in the back anyway, at her request, away from the prying eyes of the other occupants. It was bad enough they had to walk passed anyone to sit down, Julie did not want to be noticed. Adam was slightly confused by the once center of attention girl, the way she hide her face from view and slouched in her seat. Julie shifted uncomfortably in the old wooden booth, trying to remain unnoticed and sat her purse down in the corner, never looking at him in the time she was getting adjusted. His eyes scanned her with suspicion, wondering what she was hiding and she looked down, avoiding his questioning eyes. She didn't have answers to share so why invite the scrutiny. He knew her too well for her to lie and she didn't want to in the first place, so why bother. She'd almost always been honest with him except for the fight that broke them up. She would regret that day for the rest of her life. She didn't want to think about that though, she didn't want to think about any of the mistakes she'd made that had led her to this point. She only wanted a few minutes with Adam to pretend it was okay and that she could just go back to her life tomorrow and forget she'd ever seen him.
"So how have you been?" He asked, sitting quietly across from her, his hands resting firmly on the edge of the table. Her eyes scanned the marble floor instead of his current stance and she thought of reasons not to look at him, not to answer his question. The first being her husband's unknown wareabouts and his possible interruption of the conversation. She'd hate to have to explain how she ended up having coffee with her ex-boyfriend while she was supposed to be waiting for him. She quickly thought up a common response to fill the silence of her reply.
"Fine, really...fine.." She said trying her fake smile on again. It wasn't really working, Adam noticed it didn't reach her eyes the way it used to. In reality, she wasn't fine at all, she was sick to her stomach with worry over Greg finding them like this. She worried that he'd know she had been doing something she wasn't supposed to, or worse, that Adam would know that she was lying and that he'd try to stop Greg. His eyes met hers as she looked up for the first time to study his face and his jaw tightened at the look he received. Was he angry with her already? Did he know she was lying? She wondered, softly biting her lip in contemplation. She took notice, hoping the conversation didn't go beyond such small talk, she couldn't bear to deceive him more than she already had. She wanted him to believe she was okay and just continue back to whatever life he had waiting for him. Little did she know the absence of a life he had. The waitress came over after a couple minutes and took their order, Julie ordering a small coffee, black, the cheapest thing on the menu and he, a small French latte, close to the most expensive. She chuckled internally at their choices but Julie couldn't risk Greg noticing that she'd spent any money besides gas to get to the airport. Adam had always sought the best when it came to coffee, she remembered ordering for them one day at the Starbucks on campus and being mortified on the cost of two coffees the way Adam preferred them.
The space was silently for a few moments after the waitress left, leaving behind a lingering scent of vanilla. Adam watched her carefully before he moved his hand unto the table, positioning it to reach out for hers. Julie stared at it for a minute, wondering if he would try to touch her hand again. She wasn't sure if she could take anymore contact today without her walls breaking down. The walls she'd worked so hard to construct around her heart to keep her safe. She silently watched him flex his fingers in anticipation before he started to move it across the table to take hers. He felt the wooden table fall beneath his palm when he rested his hand on the other side of the table. She had seen him coming and moved her hands to her lap before staring intently at them with no intention of looking elsewhere. She wondered about a cut on her palm, trying to remember if that was from the cracked picture frame she had tried to block when it was thrown at her the week before or the glass on the kitchen floor she had been thrown down in. Her mind wondered away, not paying attention to the man in front of her until he cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up at his eyes again and a warmth spread through her body that she hadn't felt in years. She wrapped her arms about her waist to hold in the feeling before she broke the contact and continued to examine the floor.
Now was not the time to sit and remember the past, the past she so wanted to be in again. A time where she had never heard the name Greg Williams or possessed the fear that went along with it. She silently cursed herself for mentally disobeying him, he was her husband, she wasn't supposed to think about him in a negative way. He didn't mean the way he was and he always apologized for it after and told her how much he loved her. It didn't make the wounds hurt any less but at least she was able to hold onto something to keep the pain at bay. Greg had warned her about disobeying him, her mind again worrying of his upcoming presence. She glancing around nervously at the other people in the cafe. What if someone he knew saw her here? What if someone just mentioned it casually in conversation with Greg? It's not like it would be the first time he caught her in a lie and made her pay for it. like the time she had said she was going out for milk and never came home. When he had caught up to her two towns over, the broken cheekbone had reminded her for weeks not to lie to him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time, maybe he could change back to the man she had loved. Maybe if she continued to hope for that, it would erase the past 3 years and over a hundred beatings she'd endured, she silently hoped. She would always have hope that something would get better, it was the only thing she had left.
"You want to tell me what's going on?" He asked, bring her from her thoughts again, his hand slowly retreating back across the table from hers. He wasn't going to push the subject or make her retreat into her shell. She'd done that a few times today and he wasn't getting anywhere.
"Nothing.." She said a little too fast for him to believe. "Why would you think something's going on?" Her eyes told him a different story as she stared at him, hoping beyond hope he'd believe her and leave the conversation alone. He had to believe her, nothing else would do at this point. She had no options left, no cards left to play. Her eyes pleaded with him for something, Adam had no idea what. So he changed the subject as not to upset her, he only wanted to talk to her and spend a few more minutes in her presence.
"I like your hair.." He casually said, resisting the urge to reach out and brush the stray piece from in front of her face to behind her ear as he would have normally done six years before. She looked at him with confusion. It had been a necessity to change her hair after Greg had told her he preferred red hair to blonde. What Greg wanted he got. Her eyes tried to determine what game Adam might be playing in his line of questioning. A moment before she had felt like he was grilling her for information and now he was telling her something completely unexpected. She let a small smile play on her lips at his randomness and he smiled back, knowing he had reached her on some level. She wanted to talk to him, he could tell but something was holding her back from speaking her mind the way she would have years before.
A small ping of guilt sat in her chest as she continued to smile, Greg would be so mad if he heard someone say something like that to her. He would have blamed her, said she instigated it and just wanted to cheat on him like the lying whore she was. Her face turned into a frown at the thought, her lips forming the only words to come to mind as she reached up to touch the unnatural hair that belonged to someone else.
"Thanks.." She whispered, playing with a small lock before letting it go after her contemplation and glancing back at the door as if she'd temporarily forgot why she was still here.
He sighed, for a moment it was her instead of this woman that sat in front of him, a statue in place of his Julie. She had been there, she had smiled at him if but for a brief moment in time. The waitress returned with their coffees, Julie backing up to receive hers, Adam smiled graciously at the waitress for breaking the silence before she left, promising to return with more sugar if needed.
"I really do, I've missed you Jules." He confiding, feeling if maybe he shared something with her and tried to let her in, she'd do the same for him. No such luck, he was afraid as she seemed to only close up more on herself
"I really haven't thought about you, Adam.." She lied, brushing a piece of hair from her face, her eyes retreating back to the door. What if he got off the plane and she wasn't there? What would she tell him, she got lost, she couldn't find the right gate?
"I should be going.." She said immediately, feeling the fear creep up her spine. She quickly grabbed her purse to leave some money on the table before sliding to the end of the booth. It was nice to see him but he was only a long distance memory that kept her living. The hope that maybe someday she could find that kind of love again was the only thing keeping her sane. That maybe someday all the pain and hurt would stop and she could feel like she was whole again and that she was where she was loved again by the person she was with. She would sometimes dream of a time when he would come and save her, finally ending her torture but it simply wasn't that simple in real life.
"Hey! Wait!" He laughed a little, grabbing her arm as she stood from the table. She wasn't paying attention to where his hands flew before she felt a shooting pain envelope her entire arm, emerging from her bruised bicep. She cried out in anguish so the few people in the coffee shop turned to look in their direction. She hadn't meant to be so loud but the pain had been unbearable without touching it, to touch it only intensified the throbbing.
He let go quickly and glanced at the other people in the shop, their eyes trained on him. A few stopped to stare with a look of hate in their eyes, as if he had hurt Julie. His Julie... He could never hurt her, he would never hurt her, how could anyone think that if they knew what she meant to him. He didn't mean to grab so hard, she was so delicate... His thoughts stopped in mid thought and he stared back at her in disbelief. No one was that tender unless they were a wimp, which Adam could never call Julie. She was the strongest woman he had ever met. He'd seen guys get hard checked into the glass and not reacted the way she had from an injury. The other option caused goose bumps to rise on the back of his neck. Was she already hurt? He wondered as he stared at her. She tried to compose herself, holding in the tears that threatened to shed and pretend it had never happened. She hadn't reacted so foolishly to let her secret out, she just needed to smooth over the reaction and be on her way. She needed to get out of here and she need to do it fast before he started asking questions as to why she had cried out. She tried to numb her mind to the pain and reached for her purse.
"I'm sorry, you scared me... I wasn't looking at where you were." She tried to laugh it off, straightening her shirt. "I really should go..." She said feeling the tears that were brimming on her eyelids retreat at her command. She couldn't let even one tear fall, he would know. His arm pulled back to his side and she stood up to leave again, not meeting his eyes. Adam quickly threw the remaining amount of the bill down and a gracious tip before following her as fast as he could towards the door and out into the busy terminal. She was half way down the hall before he caught her, turning her to him to look at her face when he asked her his questions. She pushed him away with a force he remembered, it would not be the first time their fight had ended in a shoving match.
"Banks! Just stay away from me, alright! I don't need your help, I don't need you to be the knight in shining armor. I just want you to go!" She told him sternly, pushing against his chest. The anger she felt for Greg was boiling up on her and she needed to release it somehow, fighting with him was how she choose to do it. If Greg found out any of this, there would be hell to pay and she would not take that punishment without leaving some of it with Adam.
Adam was taken aback by her sudden outburst of emotion. He questioned his tactics. Was he being too forceful? Jumping to unsupported conclusions about her relationship with her Husband? His thoughts were interrupted as he tried to hold her to him and stop her shoving. The PA system stopped their struggle, announcing that the weather was lifting just enough for a few planes to arrive and that flight 1003 would be arriving at gate 52 in a few short minutes.
That was Greg's flight, her mind went into overdrive. Julie's eyes darted to the board as his flight changed from red to green, he would be here any minute, she had to get rid of Adam. She pulled away from his grip and stood a few inches away from him.
"Julie, just tell me what's going on? We're still friends, right?" He questioned. She felt her heart rate speed up as she glanced between the gate and Adam's questioning eyes. He was on his way, she needed to be ready. Adam needed to go now before Greg saw him. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute as she tried to figure out what to do. A lie came to mind, the only thing she could do to get him to go.
"Adam, look, please just go. It was an old hockey injury... you know..." She tried to sound like it was no big deal and that he would understand an old injury, he had a bunch of them, one particularly on the left side of his rib cage where he had stopped a puck for her in their freshman year. Her eyes wondered to the spot under his shirt. She didn't need to see it to know right where it was.
"No, it's been years since you played. I don't understand what's going on here... Julie you can tell me anything." He pushed her to tell him, determined to not leave if she needed him. He felt his chest tightening, he wouldn't leave her the way he had before, he swore it to himself. He wouldn't let her push him away when she needed him again. He reached for her only to have her back up.
"We haven't even talked, yet. I don't know anything that's going on with you. What about your husband? I want to meet him.." Adam suggested. Maybe he was behind this change in her. He wanted to see this guy and judge for himself if he was the cause of this anxious Julie. Was he the kind of man that would hurt Julie? His Julie? He didn't know much about the guy. The other Ducks had been cautious of his feelings for Julie and had never mentioned him in their conversations with Adam. He had appreciated it at first but now he wondered.
"No! Adam.." She stammered for a reason that he needed to go right now. She needed to make something up fast and get away from him. Luck must have been on her side as the PA system came on again.
"Attention, flight 347, non-stop to New York is now boarding at gate 47. All passengers holding first class tickets please prepare to board now." The female voice announced. Adam's face went dark.
"Shit!" He swore, grabbing his ticket from his pocket to verify the flight number. He already knew it by heart but was hoping he was wrong. "Julie, just tell me what's going on!" He pleaded with her. He needed to have a clear conscience before he left her. Her face remained stern and uncaring as she glared at him. She would not make this his problem, she owed him at least that much.
"Julie?" He questioned once more before giving up at his third attempt to comfort her and her pulling away. He didn't want to leave this way, he had left this way before, with her mad and not speaking to him. He wanted things to be okay between them. Her eyes shifted back to the flight board as she wondered how close Greg was now. He sighed, knowing he wouldn't get through to her. If there was one thing that remained the same about Julie it was her stubbornness. He sighed, picking up his bag from where he had dropped it on the floor in his pursue of the woman standing in front of him. Her purse, that he had knocked out of her hand, lay next to it, it's contents spilled out on the floor from the last time he had tried to grab her.
"I'm sorry...For everything, Jules." He whispered, meaning not only today but the years before too. He silently handed her purse back to her after pushing everything back into the soft leather pouch. She only looked at his hands as she took the bag and turned to leave. He watched her walk away, his mind drifted back to a memory he held onto...
15 year old Julie Gaffney stood in front of the locker room mirror adjusting her beautiful blonde hair for the 5th time since she emerged from the girls shower room a few minutes before. He sat on the bench behind her, not saying a word, just taping his wrist that seemed not to want to heal. Tonight was a memory he would keep forever, tonight they had beat the varsity warriors, tonight he had realized that he was in love with Julie Gaffney and tonight, Scooter had kissed her. Sure, Adam had no rights to Julie, in the two years he had known her, he had never once attempted to tell her he might have feelings for her other than friendship, that he might just be in love with her. As she stood in front of him fixing her hair for the 6th time, he wondered if he should say something, anything to keep her here with him, keep her in this room and away from the 17 year old goalie who was waiting just outside the locker room door to take her out for sodas. His heart thumped in his chest when she finally realized he'd been staring at her, the only two left in the locker room. Their eyes met in the mirror and she studied his expression before she smiled and turned to face him, her body leaning against the sink that hung from the wall behind her.
"Adam, why aren't you out with the other guys celebrating?" She smirked still playing with her hair, this time in a nervous fashion.
"I should ask you the same thing, catlady. And fixing your hair of all things.." He laughed, getting up from the bench to turn away from her and avoid her questioning eyes. He could feel his heart still pounding with nervousness in his chest.
"You guys forget I'm still a girl!" She said, coming up at his side in a moment and he tensed up, looking down at her. This was it, he could feel it, he had to say something or he'd regret it all his life. Her face changed from playful to serious as his stare became intense on her.
"I know you're a girl, Julie." He whispered just so she could hear it. Her eyes widen a little; a nervous laugh escaping her lips.
"You know, if I didn't know you better cake-eater, I'd think you were hitting on me.." She turned away nervously, heading for her own locker two over and faced away from him. He didn't laugh, he didn't smile, he just kept his attention on her as she placed her hairbrush on the top shelf and took out her sweater for the brisk fall air outside. When she didn't hear him respond she turned on her heels to look at him. He was standing in front of her; his face was so close to hers, she could feel his breathe on the crook of her neck. Was this really Adam? The boy who defended her against Portman for calling her babe. She thought, his arms almost coming up to circle her. He slowly moved his hand to her wrist, not really her hand but close enough to be the first move for him. Her eyes glanced down at the movement and followed his arm up to his shoulder and then to his eyes.
"Adam?" She questioned as he stared down at her. It's now or never, Banks, just hope she doesn't hate you after... he thought in his head as he leaned down, moving inches from her lips with his. He stopped just centimeters from her mouth and looked into her eyes for reassurance he was doing this right. Her eyes looked up from his lips to his eyes again and she moved to press her lips against his. The moment seemed to last forever as they fought for air to keep the kiss going. They finally broke apart in search of oxygen and Adam realized she was in his arms, fingers laced with his in one hand and the other at the base of his head, pressing his lips to hers. His other hand at the small of her back pulling her to him. The kiss had been incredible, everything he dreamed it would be from the moment he met Julie Gaffney but the reality hit him and he stared down at her for answers. What did this all mean, we they together, was she mad at him, what would they do about Scooter standing outside the door? Her chest was moving up and down for air as her gaze was on his shoulder contemplating the same questions.
"Julie?" He asked softly to get her attention, she quickly looked up at him and smiled.
"I've been wanting to do that for a while." She confided, reaching for his lips again, and bringing them crashing down on her own. He smiled against the embrace, forgetting about the senior varsity goalie standing outside the door.
"Greg!" Her voice rang out in the distance and brought him back to the present. Julie ran into the arms of a tall well-build man with dark hair and dark eyes. From where Adam was standing they looked like any happy couple embracing after a long time away from each other. Maybe he was just jealous, she was happy and he was still alone. He picked up his bags from the floor, one of which had also been dumped in the process of chasing her through the terminal and turned to walk to his boarding gate. He had to let her go, this chance meeting had just made it worse, made him want her back more but he had to move on. Knowing she had just made it worse and he held his stomach, momentarily thinking he might vomit.
He turned to walk away and she felt her heart break, she had pushed him away again, she knew but it didn't make it easier to let go of the last hope she had. Greg's arms loosened around her waist and she was facing him, a smile plastered on her face to make him believe she was happy in their marriage.
"How was your flight?" She asked, trying to sound as cheerful as she could.
"Terrible, the food sucked and then I got stuck in some crappy little town in Nebraska. I tried to call you but I assumed you had left to come and get me." Julie nodded in agreement.
"I've been here for a while now... If I had a cell phone..." She started but his glare made her stop. It had been discussed before and only led to her nose being broken and an accusation of cheating. He nodded at her submission, picking up one of his bags from the luggage belt.
"You want to get the other two?" He asked without looking to her, carrying his bag for the door closest to them. Julie nodded, picking up one bag and then trying to retrieve the other bag with her sore arm. She fought through the pain and took a deep breath following him from the airport and out into the cold Minnesota air.
"Is this 24c?" Adam asked, pointing to the seat in front of him. The man, a middle aged man in a suit, already seated one seat over nodded, looking up from his magazine. Adam sighed before he sat down, putting his carry on in the seat between them for a moment while he took off his coat to get adjusted.
"Say, you're that hockey player!" The man exclaimed " Adam Banks!" He practically yelled. Adam nodded with a small smile and pulled his bag to his chest, in search of his headphones and phone, he didn't feel like dealing with people right now, he would just simply sleep his way back to NYC.
"I thought that was you in the coffee shop but I didn't want to intrude. Was that your girlfriend with you?" He questioned.
"No." Adam stated blankly, still digging for his damn headphones, why could he never find anything when he needed them?
"Oh, Sister?" He questioned. Adam stopped digging, getting annoyed with the questions of an eager fan.
"No! Look she was an old friend I ran into. Not that it's any of your business." He usually didn't even grace people with an answer about his love life but he was just annoyed with this guy's constant baggering. He man didn't even look fazed by Adam's rudeness.
"Oh, she looked about a stage three." The man said without a blink of the eye. Adam's attention on finding his headphones was diverted to the man sitting next to him, wondering what he was talking about.
"A what?" He asked, almost snapping at him again.
"Oh, sorry, you work with these cases for so long, you know, you start to always talk like you're at work all the time." The man mumbled on about his work lingo for a moment before Adam stopped him.
"Sir, please just tell me what you mean.." Adam said putting his hand up to stop the conversation.
"I mean a stage three trauma. I work at a safe house for abused women and children. Your old friend was defiantly acting like a stage three. Antsy, overly cautious, and probably bruised. Though I personally don't know her or have talked to her, so it just might be the way she acts all the time. You know people are funny. A stage three is separated from her friends and usually changes her hair and her personality. She could seem like a different person overnight. I'm sure that's not the case with your friend." He joked a little. Adam stopped and turned to stare at the fabric on the back of the seat in front of him. He knew something was wrong and his gut had told him to push but he had let her down again. Before he could even think about anything else he was out of his seat and heading for the door. He would not let her down for a third time.