The bathroom mirrors were steamed with a mist of fog when Julie finally stepped out of the shower after many long minutes under the spray. She had made sure the water was too hot for any normal person and it had nearly burned her skin until it was a bright red color and felt tight against her bones. Her objective had been to wash away the touch of Greg's hands from her flesh but the feeling still remained more than she would have liked. The high temperature had only served to awake her senses to the fact that no matter how bruised her body was she was still alive. She felt every cracked bone and bruised muscle in her body. For the first time in a long time her mind was processing the way it used to before she met Greg Williams. She was thinking about plans for more than a few days ahead and planning out her next moves. She couldn't stay here forever, she knew that and more than likely she would have to leave Adam behind but not right now. She depended on him too much to leave him now. Her skin still burned with the resounding tingle of the water as she ran the towel over it to collect the remaining drops and the normally pale white flesh of her arms was bright red in color. Julie didn't care about the way her skin felt as she looked in the mirror for the second time that day. Her eyes seemed to be more alert than the last time she'd looked in them and a hint of the blue shine was returning as she studied her appearance. Her face was still bruised but somehow it looked better than it had just a few hours before, only a faint trace of bruising remaining around her eye and down into her cheek. She looked to her wet hair, touching it lightly with her finger tips and contemplating the color before her eyes trailed down to the old bruise on her shoulder that was beginning to come back into view as the skin began to cool around it.
Julie's mind wandered for only a second before she turned away from the mirror. Her appearance was exactly who Greg had made her and she didn't want to be that anymore. She wanted to be Julie Gaffney again and remember what it felt like to care about something. Anything would be better than thinking about how to avoid the next beating. She didn't linger too long on her appearance, instead, she dressed quickly to cover her broken flesh from her eyes and hide behind her discolored hair as it feel in her face when she moved. Knowing Adam was waiting for his turn in the bathroom, she tried to hurry. The soft cotton of the new sweatpants and t-shirt were exactly what she needed at the moment, her thoughts allowed a memory to flash in her mind of a time when she lived in clothes much like this. That was a time when she had Adam and the Ducks and no one else had mattered to her but what team they were playing next. Sighing heavily, she brushed her hair out with her brush and threw the used towel back on the towel bar to switch out for a fresh one later. For a moment her mind told her to fold the towel and make sure it matched the other ones perfectly but she resisted, knowing it wouldn't matter to Adam. Greg was neurotic in making sure that everything was in its proper place and ready for the unexpected visitors that would never show up. She fought the urge to grasp the towel again in her hands and instead turned from it to the closed door behind her. She'd have to completely rewrite her mind to think the way it used to.
The door to the bathroom opened with a soft creak in the old wood when Julie took the first steps out of the steam filled room and into the bedroom she would be sharing with Adam for at least the night. The sight before her had her stopping to admire the man that had saved her life as he lay in front of her. Adam was curled up in the soft folds of the bed, holding a pillow close to his chest to support his injured shoulder as he laid on his stomach. He face was buried in the remaining pillow like he used to when they would stay together on some nights. A soft repeating breath let her know he was still with her as she tried not to smile at the sight. This was their safe haven, in this room no one could touch them and the thought almost brought tears to her eyes as she looked upon him again. They could finally relax if only for a short period. She remembered being tucked into his warm embrace many times before during their high school days. Her hand silently made its way up to her arm to recreate the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. The grip of her hand was too small to pretend it was his. It wasn't the same, of that Julie was sure, even as she attempted to hug herself for reassurance and support in staying upright. Her mind screamed at her to think before she acted but her feet had other ideas as they started to move against the hard wood floor towards the bed. Adam's sleeping face turned towards her but his eyes did not open to her body moving towards his. He readjusted his body to pull the pillow closer to his chest and mumbled something softly in his sleep the way he had many times before. She found herself yearning for those days again. She wished she could go back to any one night with him and freeze time so she could just lay in his arms forever and never have to worry about Greg or anything else again. She silently hoped Adam's thoughts were about her but her mind scolded her at the thought of Greg finding out she was thinking such things. She was still married even if she choose to ignore that fact and she had no business pulling him into her mess further by opening that door, her mind reminded her but damn the consequences her body told her. The bed met her covered thighs as she bumped into it and looked down at the object blocking her movement. She'd crossed the room and not even noticed until she couldn't move any further. The soft blanket met her finger tips as she touched it, running her fingers over the top to feel it's warm inviting fabric. She wasn't thinking about anything other than the fact she wanted to feel human contact when Julie raised her knee and crawled into the bed next to Adam's sleeping form. The blankets enveloped her and she moved closer, gently tugging the pillow from within his arms the way she remembered to do it without waking him. Adam only groaned lightly before he grabbed her waist with a familiar touch and pulled her body to replace the pillow he had been using for support. The touch felt warm and reminding of what she would always think of as the best time in her life. Adam rested his head against her shoulder, allowing Julie to wrap an arm around his back and pull him close. Her eyes welded up with tears she had been holding for so long and she let a stray few run their course down her cheeks. She needed this, she needed him. Why she hadn't seen this days before when he had first come to get her, she did not know. All that had been in her head at that point had been to keep Greg happy. Right now she was sure Greg wasn't happy but she was, for the first time in a long time she was able to breathe easy. A small smile formed on her lips as she struggled to remember how to do it without forcing one. Her cheek muscles protested but they remembered how to do it after a couple moments letting her lips turn upright. It had to be sight, she wondered, the tears still dripping from her eyes and her mouth forming a small smile. She was without a doubt a mess right now but it was okay. She was okay and it felt good for the first time in a long time.
They stayed like this for many minutes, Julie wasn't sure how long as she watched the sun set outside their window and listened to Adam's breathe as it blew on her neck. She used to hate the dark because she couldn't control what she couldn't see. That fear had been replaced with a fear of the night because of the abuse it would bring from Greg but tonight she wasn't scared anymore. She had no fears because the worst had already happened to her. Now it was time to heal. Moving her hand from where it rested against her stomach, Julie brought it up to softly touch Adam's face with her palm. She didn't know where to start. They weren't out of the woods yet but for the moment they had nothing to fear and she had him to thank for it. Her thoughts went back to the day before and the unwelcomed kiss he had given her to calm her in the police station. She hadn't wanted or expected it but somehow it had changed her. His touch had begun a series of thoughts in her head that would eventually set her free. She gently ran her hand over his face from his temple to his chin, brushing the stray hair that fell in his face away from his eyes. At one point, she could have said she was ready to spend the rest of her life with this man. Her life would have undoubtedly been different if she had accepted his proposal to go with him to New York but would she still have him? Would New York have ruined their happiness and they would have ended up apart anyways? She would never know because she couldn't go back and change it now but in some small area of her mind she almost glad she had let him go and find what he needed before he returned to her. That way he would know that he really wanted her and not the life he might have been missing. The hand that she held against his chin used to be the hand she wore her wedding ring on but now it was just a trace of tan skin that marked where the ring sat for almost four years. She didn't miss it, she didn't miss him but somehow she knew she would come out of this a stronger person. A better person because she had learned the value of love and life and not to take it for granted.
Her eyes trailed from where her fingers sat to just a few inches away and Adam's chapped sun-worn lips, slightly parted with each breath. They had been soft on hers the day before, the way they used to feel. Her mind started ringing alarm bells but Julie had decided to turn off everything but what she was feeling. Leaning slightly down she tried to remember what it was like to kiss for love and not because she was told to do so. She nervously licked her lips before moving the last millimeters and pressing them to Adam's gently. She hadn't intended to wake him up but to just try to recapture the old feelings she knew she still held inside for him. His eyes fluttered open in surprise at the contact, his head raising from her shoulder and when he looked down at her, she couldn't find the right words to say what she was feeling. She took a chance and pressed their lips together again to get the full experience of kissing him before her mind overtook her body again. Adam's mind was still hazy with sleep and he wasn't sure what exactly had happened other than Julie was kissing him. He pressed his lips back in urgency and tightened his arms around her to continue to kiss her when she pulled away suddenly, turning her face away from his.
"Adam, stop..." She said quickly detangling herself from him and sitting up against the headboard. He moved back quickly, sitting on his heels as to not be too close and scare her, knowing in the back of his head that he shouldn't have done that.
"Julie, I..." He started but she shook her head.
"No, it was me, I wanted to know if I could feel anything anymore but it was too much..." Julie said touching her fingers to her lips in contemplation of the thoughts running in her head. Adam watched her with curiosity, noting she seemed different than even earlier in the same day. How long had he been asleep, he wondered looking to the window. She continued to ramble about her feelings and Adam shook his head in confusion. She was explaining her actions and not curling up on herself and hiding so something had changed in the time he had been asleep.
"Jules, are you okay?" He asked as she stopped talking and her eyes met his for the first time. She nodded her head with vigor.
"Yeah, I just... I need a minute..." She said taking in all the feelings kissing him had invoked in her. She had thought about the last time they had been together intimately but that had only brought up her time with Greg. It was like she couldn't have one without the other and it was confusing to her. She must have sounded like a crazy woman mumbling on about everything to Adam. Adam saw her face struggle to find the right emotion and wanted more than anything to hold her the way he had been just a few seconds before but he didn't want to confuse her anymore than she already was. Without saying a word, he moved from the bed and turned on the light on the bedside table to illuminate the room. Her eyes adjusted to the new light and stared up at him for a moment before he started to move about the room to find the bag with his clothes in it. Adam had seen the confusion in her eyes but he had also seen the shine that was returning to them and the redness of her lips from where he kissed her too hard. He knew she would have an effect on him once she began to return to herself but not this much, he thought, turning away from her. He had to hide just how much she had affected him and how much he still wanted her even after all this time. She watched him with curiosity when he picked up their bag from the bathroom door way and opened it to find something to change into once he'd showered. Julie's shoebox of memories sat on the top and Adam lifted it out, gently sitting it on the dresser before continuing to dig inside. She eyes remained on the box before she stood and walked to it. Adam's eyes watched her as she lifted it in the air and contemplated opening it for the first time in four years before she returned it to its resting location on the dresser and walked away.
"What is this, Julie?" He asked, looking at the old shoebox with interest. She shrugged, sitting back down on the bed and crossing her arms over her chest.
"Nothing, it's just some old pictures and stuff... Things I don't want to think about right now." She tried to make whatever was in the box unimportant to her but he could tell it already was. It had been the only thing that she had grabbed herself before they left her house days before. Adam took a step closer to it and examined the box with interest. Julie watched him from the bed but didn't say anything when he began to reach for it. Her breathe seemed to catch in her throat and she stood quickly knocking the box from his hands and watching it fall to the floor. She had only meant for him not to look inside and see that all she ever cared about in the world was him. The box hit the hard wood with a thump and pictures scattered throughout the floor of the room as the box fell open. Pictures Adam hadn't seen in years now stared back at him. Many of the ducks, many of the two of them. Julie's pictures from their senior prom, the dried rose he had presented her outside the limo that night, Julie had saved it all and it was all here. Adam's eyes met hers as she looked upon the destruction at her feet and the inevitable emotional effect these pictures would have on her.
"Julie, I'm sorry..." He mumbled, bending to pick up what he could reach but she stopped him.
"I was so afraid to face all this stuff so I boxed it up and put it in the closet instead. I couldn't just throw it out. I've been dreading looking in here for years but now it doesn't seem so bad." She whispered softly, kneeling down to collect the photos. Adam knelt next to her and picked up the ones closest to him. Glancing down at the first one, he had to smile. It was Julie and himself at the annual pie eating contest that Eden Hall did every year for local charities. Goldberg won every year but that year Julie had found an abandoned animals shelters that she knew needed the money more that whatever charity Goldberg had been donating to for the three years before. The photo was of the two of them, fresh from finishing off the last pies to beat Goldberg for the first time. Their faces were covered in whipped cream but they were happy. It had been a happy moment. Looking to all the photos scattered across the floor most of these were happy moments. Adam couldn't remember the last one he'd had without her in his life.
"Julie?" He asked when she finally looked up at him from the pictures she held in her hands. "Why did you leave me?" His eyes searched hers. She looked down again at the photo in her hands before she handed it to him. It was them celebrating winning the high school hockey tournament in their senior year, Adam had the trophy held in his hands as the ducks all gathered around him.
"Adam, hockey was your dream before you even knew who I was. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy." She said collecting the rest of the pictures and setting the box back upright before loading them back in.
"Would it have mattered if I had said being with you was my dream?" He asked. Julie looked down at their memories but she couldn't regret the fact that she had let him go for his own good. If she regretted it now she would become angry at all she had gone though that maybe she didn't have it.
"We wouldn't be here today if it had." She whispered softly.
"You would have never met Greg or had any of this happen if I had stayed." Adam promised. Julie looked up at him with surprise in her eyes at how a like they still thought.
"Don't you do that! Don't you blame yourself for not staying. That's like me blaming myself for not listening!" She nearly yelled. "I knew what Connie and the Ducks thought of him and I did it anyways. I just... I wanted my own life without the constant reminder of what we had and Greg gave me that for a while." Julie said now pulling the box closer to herself and looking in it. Adam stopped her movements , holding his hand on hers to stop her from replacing the photos.
"I wanted that too, for a long time I thought I would just get over you but it didn't happen. It only got worse... I need you, Julie... I'll always need you." He whispered looking down at their hands. She felt the familiar burn behind her eyes but she fought them back. She would not cry. She choose instead to brush his hand from hers and continue to pack up the pictures when something in the box caught her eyes. Lifting the yellow envelope from the box she set it on the floor before she put the lid on the box. Adam looked at the envelope with curiosity before lifting it to look inside.
"I didn't put that in here..." Julie whispered when Adam dumped the contents on the floor. Inside was an audio tape, another access code and some photos. Adam left the audio tape and looked through the photos with interest. In them were pictures of the President of United States meeting with the Prime Minister of Britain. If Adam's current events served him correctly this was from the last UN meeting that had taken place last year. There was another one scheduled shortly, he thought maybe next month.
"Julie, what kind of work does Greg do again?" Adam asked, looking over the photos and now examining the tape. He hadn't had a cassette player since middle school so he had no idea how they would play this but for some reason Adam had a feeling whatever was on it was important. Reaching behind him, Julie pulled their bag to the floor and took out the contents of the stuff they had lifted off the man that was chasing them. She wasn't stupid, Julie was far from it, so the items that were laid out in front of them had her wondering just what her husband did for a living.
"If I had to guess..." She started looking down over the items, "I would say something secret, maybe secret service, FBI... He traveled a lot." Julie explained. "And he always knew where I was and what I was doing when he was gone." She nodded her head while looking over the stuff one last time.
"I think Greg is into a lot more than we thought." Adam concluded, handing the photos to Julie. She looked them over as well.
"Adam, we need to find a cassette player, this could be big." She said, collecting all the items into one bag.
"We can't just let anyone know we have all this, we don't know what we even have." Adam stressed. Julie only nodded, tucking the items back into her bag with care.
"You're right. We should ask Dwayne if he has a cassette player thought and listen to this together." Adam nodded in agreement before a knock on the door startled them. Adam stood to answer it. On the other side, Dwayne stood in the hall dressed in his best flannel shirt and black cowboy hat.
"Hey Y'all. Dinner is ready so my Momma was hopin' y'all would be joining us." Dwayne said looking behind him at Julie as she got up from the floor and placed the box back on the dresser. She tried to smile at him but she couldn't find the right way to do so, so she gave up and turned to set their bag back in the bathroom.
"Yeah, just give me a couple minutes, I need to clean up. I ended up falling asleep instead." Adam told him, running a hand through his dirty hair before Dwayne nodded and left the door way with a nod. Adam shut the door, looking back at Julie as he made his way across the room.
"No one needs to know about what we think Greg is until we know what we're dealing with." He said. "We don't want to put anyone in unnecessary danger if we don't have to." Adam promised. Julie only nodded as he entered the bathroom. A moment later she heard the water turn on. She sat heavily on the bed and thought about her feelings for Adam. If she was being truthful with herself she needed him just as much as he needed her but she would never admit that to him. It would just make it hard to leave when it was time for her to do so.