Chapter 6
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, hit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in them
It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Puck looked at Artie and huffed out a breath as he pulled into the lot near the park, "Not sure about the lyrics man." He admitted a bit painfully, "Much as I love Eminem, not sure I can rap about this. Pissed off as I am..."
"Well you know what its like to love someone that much," Artie said quietly, "Imagine that love just... twisted, angry, I guess."
"That's the thing," Puck shook his head, "I don't know what that's like. Only time I ever felt like that was when my old man was around."
"But you're-" Artie frowned thoughtfully and waited until Puck had parked the truck before continuing. "Do you mean you've never felt that angry with someone you loved?"
"No dude," Puck sighed. "I've never been in love. I love my ma and my sister, and I guess I loved my old man but that's it."
"Bullshit," Artie laughed as Puck lifted him down from the truck cab. "And you'll note the level of trust here that I say that while you're holding onto me. But bullshit."
"Nope," Puck shook his head again as he settled Artie into his wheelchair, "Never been in love."
"I say again, bull and shit," Artie argued. "You're so in love with Rachel you're stupid with it. You have been since...well ever since I've known you."
"I used to slushy her," Puck objected. "I used to want to set myself on fire."
"Yeah," The smaller boy rolled his eyes. "You were really dense. You think I didn't notice the only girl to ever elicit that type of strong reaction from you was Rachel? She's the only girl you didn't automatically seduce and move on. You dated her Puck, for a week. You didn't even date Quinn and you got her pregnant."
"All by myself too," Puck snapped, that still being a sore spot.
"Well no, obviously," Artie sighed. "Sorry man, but you're in love with Rachel Berry. If I ever needed proof it was the way you acted when she told us what had happened to her. I've never seen you like that, except when Vocal Adrenaline egged her."
"So you're telling me that because I'm in love with her I should be able to sing about being so nuts about her I'm twisted up pissed about it?" Puck was still trying to figure out that logic when Rachel drove up in her little car and joined them. Most telling, he decided, was the fact that he wasn't arguing with Artie, protesting that he wasn't in love with Rachel. What a time for that fuckin' epiphany, he thought with a roll of his eyes.
"Have you decided who's going to sing what for the lyrics?" She asked excitedly, "I'm really looking forward to hearing you guys. You have such great voices, and such expression I think you'll both do wonderfully."
Artie grinned, "Coming from you Rachel that's like a standing ovation."
"Well you're both very talented," Rachel told them with a smile. "And my dads said we could have the empty bottle. We'll just put water in it so it looks like vodka." She looked around the park, "We haven't been here in a while."
"I brought a camera so I can try and line up some shots," Artie told her. "Why don't you and Puck go sit on the swings and I'll try to frame some things out. See if it'll work or not."
Rachel grinned, wincing slightly and took Puck's hand tugging him towards the swings, "Thank you for doing this Noah." She offered, "I really do appreciate it."
"Well, its for a good cause, right?" Puck felt like kicking himself. That wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to say. "I mean...you know you can pretty much get me to do anything right?"
"Anything?" Rachel grinned at him as they sat on the swings. "Really?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Puck admitted. "I'm gonna rap because you want me to. And I'm doing another music video for you. And after the last one baby, you really oughta be flattered I'm doing this." He wondered if she really had figured out he'd do just about anything for her.
"This is way cooler than Run Joey Run," Rachel pointed out. "Eminem is badass in fact. I heard you say so."
"It's still a music video," Puck pointed out. "I just...I don't wanna let you down Rachel." That was the gods honest truth, in his screwed up life he'd let her down way too often. Juvie, slushies, his half assed way of defending her that never seemed to help much. About the only thing he'd done right was he could listen. He could listen to Rachel's voice forever.
"You never let me down," Rachel whispered. "You're the only boy who never has. Even when you say you will. You don't."
"I'm not perfect Rache," Puck looked at her and took her hand, both of them vividly aware of Artie photographing them for the angles of the potential shot. "I'm screwed up you know that right?"
"Who isn't?" Rachel chuckled, "But we're friends Noah. We'll be screwed up together."
Puck wasn't sure if Rachel realized just how screwed up he was, or if he understood how messed up her head was, but she was right. He sighed and wanted to touch her cheek but he knew there were bruises under that makeup and he didn't want to hurt her anymore, "Rachel... I..." He looked down at their hands. "I know you said you started datin' Jesse because you an' Finn were both single and you didn't want to..."
"Fall back into that habit," Rachel finished dryly. "That worked really well for me didn't it." She shrugged, "I didn't know what else to do. Finn and I never work out. We gravitate towards each other but we don't like the same things, we don't have anything in common except Glee Club. He doesn't understand what veganism even means. And I'm never going to stay in Lima." She rolled her eyes, "I may as well have not even put myself through all this, Finn only ever wants me when I'm happy alone or with someone else."
"Well, try being happy and not alone," Puck found himself saying quietly. "We don't gotta date if you don't want," He offered. "But you could hang out with me." He gave her a teasing smirk, "I know I'm irresistible but I won't put the moves on you. Even if you are my hot little Jewish American Princess."
"You're incorrigible Noah," Rachel laughed at him. "But you're telling me that you'll let me spend time with you beyond the music video?"
"Hell Rachel, it ain't as if its a hardship to spend time with you," Puck turned slightly and looked at her. "I'm just playing with you 'bout the rest of it. I know you're not...you know you're probably not into alla that crap right now. Not after what he did."
"I'm not going to lie," Rachel looked up as Artie rolled closer to them. "Part of me just wants to avoid everyone, male and female." She squeezed his fingers in hers, "And part of me wants to just feel good for once."
"If that's all you want..." Puck sighed and shook his head, "Not sure I can do it."
"It's not all I want," Rachel offered him a timid smile. "I just..." She shrugged and looked at Artie changing the subject. "So will these shots work?"
"Yeah, when we get the equipment, bring the bottle, maybe some evening shots if we can get good light," Artie nodded putting his camera in his bag. "So let's check out the grocery store, see how many shots we can get, and we'll head over to Puck's house."
"If we get to school early tomorrow we should be able to line up some shots in the hallways," Puck suggested. "I'll pick ya up Artie. We can all ride in together." He looked at Rachel worriedly, "That okay with you?"
"I'll make you guys breakfast," She smiled. "Daddy will be happy that you know, he didn't like the idea of me being alone all day at school."
"Yeah, I'll talk to him about that tonight after we get you home," Puck nodded.
Author's Note: So here it is...not super long but better than the last one I think. I hope you guys like where this is going. I think the worst part of abuse isn't the physical pain (although that's pretty damn bad) its the way your self esteem just plummets. So I wanted Rachel to be a little unsure, and Puck having suffered through something similar always puts on that front of confidence. He's a bit better off than she is since he's had time to deal with some of his issues and I always pictured Juvie as having some form of therapy simply as a preventative measure against repeat offenses. But lets face it, neither one of these two are the picture of mental or emotional health.