A/N: Probably can't update for a few days so here's this to hold you over. ;) I'm happy I'm going for a mutually consensual relationship in this. It's a much different dynamic but one that I definitely am enjoying.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything affiliated with it.

-MalRev

Spectre

13

There was no time for me to feel bad for myself. I was sort of happy about that—I liked being distracted when I was sad instead of moping around having a pity party. Keeping my mind occupied would help dull the pain from my mother's rejection. She would always value dad over me. I understood but he used to tell me all the time about how much she loved me; more than anything. It was all a lie.

Instant transmission brought us back to my house and three different people were hugging me before I even opened my eyes. I struggled not to cry but it was almost impossible. Both of my parents were more or less gone from my life. It would be hard seeing dad like that every day. Was there a point?

Goten pulled away from me first and held me at arm's length, smiling a bit. Pan and Bulla stood beside him and they all examined my face for any sign of weakness. They didn't know if I'd burst into tears or brush it off like nothing. Maybe they all knew from the beginning and were pretending to care. We hadn't seen each other in years. I doubted they came anywhere near to caring about me.

"Grandma said we're going to have dinner," Pan offered. "You might feel better if you see everyone again. We're all here for you to the end."

I nodded stiffly. That was probably best.

We cleaned up the house a bit and I found myself moving like I was stuck in a jar of molasses. I didn't have the energy or drive to work quickly. I strongly considered dropping out of high school and holing myself up in my bedroom forever. While I put the big pot back under the dented stove, I could feel Goku's black eyes following me, penetrating in their search for clues.

It was weird, but I had a feeling that he didn't understand body language. He needed someone to outright state what they were thinking about or he'd never pick it up. When he was curious he would stare at you until he thought he understood what was going on, yet he never thought to open his mouth and use his words. I absently wiped the counter down and tried to ignore him.

"Ready to go?" Bulla asked, setting her hands on her hips.

"As ready as I'll be," I said.

Then Goten slipped his arm around my waist and I felt even worse. Were we really dating? I didn't want to date him. Did they mean I had to dump him? I didn't want to dump him. Damn Saiyans. He'd give up on me after a few weeks of not getting any action and go after some other girl. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to forget I was sad for a few hours then come home and eat ice cream all night.

"Why don't you stay at my place tonight?" Goten murmured. "I can make you feel better."

"Ew, gross!" Pan squealed as she grabbed Trunks's arm. "Don't do that with Marron! I thought you were joking around. You two aren't seriously dating, right?"

"Not on my watch."

All of us looked up to the source of the muttered words. Goku was standing in a Vegeta-esque pose, glaring fixedly at his youngest son. I felt Goten's arm tighten for a moment but he gave in and let go. Okay, so now we weren't dating. Right? That was fine with me. I had no interest in being with someone who was pushing thirty. I mean, he wasn't ugly but… dating wouldn't work out.

We all linked hands and Goku took up the end, placing two fingers to his forehead to transport us away from my vacant house. I kind of never wanted to go home again. Apparently Goku had agreed to let me live with him so I didn't have to be by myself every night. Why had they even bothered buying a new house if they were gonna get rid of me? Mom had no idea dad was as sick as he turned out to be.

The Son house in the mountains was tiny. Smoke curled from the chimney and warm light poured from the windows, immediately making me feel at ease. The front door opened and Chi-Chi came running out to hug Goten around the neck, swinging around in his arms. Everyone laughed while she chastised him about not calling and only I seemed to notice Yamcha hanging in the doorway with a smirk on his face. My eyes flickered to Goku. He was trying to smile.

Poor guy. It looked like he was in physical pain.

Chi-Chi attacked me with a hug next. "Ooh, Marron, it's so good to see you! How did things go today? I made a nice big dinner for everyone so we can fill up and talk. You'll have to ask Goku to bring you outside later when the meteor shower starts. Don't go out on your own. It's too dangerous for us humans. Bulma and I learned that all too well after a few years…"

I was herded inside with the others. She kept on talking, and talking, and talking. I tried to smile like Goku. I wanted to be polite and respectful. At the same time, I couldn't look into Chi-Chi's eyes and feel anything less than utter disgust. Goku was circling the room dejectedly; he'd been totally invisible to dad at the hospital. He was sad. He probably wanted a hug or a cup of tea. No one noticed.

I knew how it felt to be invisible. I knew how it felt to be crushed.

The rest of the group showed up after a while. Bulma hugged me with tears in her eyes—she had known Krillin from when they were children, too. None of them seemed interested in going to see him. Vegeta was still permanently pissed off and hovering behind his wife the way mom stuck to dad. He'd probably forsake his children for his wife, too. They all would. What was wrong with all of them? Didn't they have any sense of decency?

Gohan and Videl arrived, much to Pan's delight. I swallowed a lump in my throat when they all hugged. I'd never have that again. Sure, I could hug dad, but he'd probably panic and start screaming. Mom didn't like being touched very much. I probably should've stayed home if I was gonna be a Debbie Downer when everyone was trying to be happy.

Bulla picked at her food in boredom. "Can we go home yet? These parties are so lame. Goten and I were gonna go get wasted but as usual, mom needs to drag me to this crap." She grinned at me. "You're lucky you don't have parents. They're so annoying. You should host a party!"

I choked on my water. Did she… did she say I was lucky to not have parents?

"It'll be fun," she continued, turning to face me. "We can all get totally wasted and I bet Trunks and Pan will finally do it. They're dating now, y'know. How cute would that be? Oh, and you can sleep with Goten. He's really good. It would be so much fun! Want to do it next weekend?"

"Why are you so obsessed with Goten?" I asked. I couldn't keep the anger from my tone.

"Who, me? I'm not; I just like seeing cute couples get together. I consider myself a matchmaker. Jeez, he's all yours now anyway. Don't get so worked up."

"I'm fine." I was holding my glass so hard I thought it would break. Bulla was getting under my skin. She was trying too hard with the whole 'party girl' façade. "If you like him so much, you date him."

Bulla laughed. "Why are you so testy?"

I'd lost both of my parents in one day. Everything had been torn away from me and I was sitting at some stupid party listening to Bulla Briefs make excuses for her obvious intense crush on a guy who was way too old for her. They'd even had sex. Goten was ten years older than us but he was still lurking around teenage girls like some kind of freak. I couldn't take it.

The glass shattered in my hand and a million transparent shards burrowed into my flesh like bullets.

Not my fucking hand again.

Bulla squealed in shock and jumped back a few inches, causing everyone else to look at us. The words were boiling up from my stomach like vomit. It was like the night I talked to Goku. I couldn't stop.

"Why do you keep trying to force your brother and Pan together?" I shrieked. Blood was pouring down my fingers, dripping on the floor. "I know they're attracted to one another but there's a time and place for everything. You're tactless and desperate for attention that no one wants to give you anymore. I don't want to get drunk, I don't want to have sex with your ex-boyfriend, and I really don't want you to tell me I should be happy about not having parents!"

Everyone in the room looked nothing short of bewildered.

I dropped the remains of my cup on the floor and apologized a thousand times but the tears were already on their way. When I started crying, I ran from the house aimlessly through the dark, toward the thick line of trees across the lawn. Someone called my name but there was no way I was going back. I was humiliated. I'd insulted Bulla beyond belief. She was gonna hate me.

Branches thrashed my arms as I ran through the forest. I couldn't focus on flying. I'd do that later. Right now, I needed to get away from all of them. I needed to be away from their happiness, I needed to be left alone to feel bad for myself. I didn't bother wiping the tears from my eyes. I'd wind up going blind from the glass embedded in my skin.

Soon my pathetic human energy ran out and I was forced to sink to the ground, sobbing like a small child. My hand hurt terribly. I'd get an infection if I let the glass stay in for too long. But I ignored it and kept crying on my knees, beyond the capacity to care about getting sick. What did it matter?

I hated everything. I could just disappear. I could fade into the mountains—

"Sheesh, it was hard to find you."

My head snapped up and I saw him standing before me with his hands on his hips. Goku. He was back again to save me. It was a strong personality trait. He frowned when he saw my tear-streaked face and bent down, squatting in front of me to gently wipe my eyes with his big fingers. My lower lip quivered and I toppled forward into his arms with such force that he fell back on his behind. His training shirts were great for crying into. They absorbed a lot of moisture.

Goku laughed. It didn't sound uncomfortable. "Bulla's still in shock, ya know. But no one's mad at you, Marron. We all understand." He stroked my hair gently. "I think I do better than anyone else."

"God, I was so rude! They're all trying to be nice and I'm acting like a spoiled brat."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm going to bring you home and get the glass out of your hand, okay? I don't think Korrin has any more senzu beans to spare."

I never wanted to leave. I'd rather cry in Goku's arms for the rest of my life.

It seemed like he was reading my mind. He gently pried me away from his shoulder to sit me in his lap, rearranging my hair to keep it out of my face. I sniffled pitifully as he raised my damaged hand to figure out what kind of procedures it'd need. There were a lot of small pieces.

"You're definitely Krillin's daughter," Goku said, whisking out a few big shards. "He's one of the few humans I know that can put up with pain like this. I've been in a full-body cast before but nothing hurts as bad as being stabbed by tiny things like pieces of glass. Ugh, it reminds me of shots. I hate shots. I hate when the doctor comes in the room with the needle and… ugh."

I smiled. "Dad told me a few stories about you and shots. I think it's kinda funny."

"Well, like all of them say, I'm the strongest being in the universe and I'm afraid of my human wife and itty bitty needles." Goku shook his head, dismayed by his own fears. "What are you scared of?"

"The dark," I admitted. "I still sleep with a nightlight sometimes."

"Really? But there's nothing scary out there. Promise. Even if there was, I could break it in half. Wow, I don't know anyone your age that's afraid of the dark." He grinned goofily at me through the moonlight. I envied his flippancy. I would have traded anything to be as carefree as he was.

Could I have it? He was mad at his wife. They were on the rocks. If I nudged my foot in the door I might be able to make an opening big enough to squeeze in through.

No. Bad Marron. He's too old and way out of your league.

Goku finished taking out as many big pieces as he could and used instant transmission to return us back to my house. I clung to him as he carried me inside and upstairs, into the bigger bathroom on the second floor. He was so warm and he smelled like pine trees. He flipped on the overhead light, gently lowering me down until my shoes touched the floor, then picked up my hand again.

"They're so tiny!" he said, turning my wrist every which way. "Are you sure you didn't stick your hand in a pool of broken glass?"

"I didn't think I could shatter glass. That's what you people do."

He scratched his head, perplexed. "Guess you were just really upset. Rinse it off with cold water first and I'll help you clean it out. But don't try to punch me like you did when you burned your hand."

I stuck out my tongue at him and turned to face the sink, hissing in pain when the freezing water ran over the micro cuts. It was always the same hand. I'd been bitten there, burned there, sliced open there, and now there was glass there. Why was it always the same place? There was a god who simply hated me and wanted to make me cut my own hand off.

The warmth of Goku's body preceded him. He was suddenly pressed up against me, resting his chin on top of my head. I froze in surprise as his hands carefully took my wrist and he dampened the red cloth he'd found. He hummed happily as he wiped the tiny pieces of glass off my hand; he was a man without a care. I stood there in stunned silence while he slowly cleaned my wounds.

There was an eerie silence settling over the house. I couldn't even hear the cars outside.

The Saiyan tenderly picked out shards I couldn't even see. "Y'know, you're a nice girl."

I made a weird choking sound. I think I was trying to chuckle. "You've told me that before. More than once, actually. Seems like you're always the one here when I'm hurting myself."

Glass tinkled quietly as it was swept down the drain. We were in our own universe where no one could see or hear us. It was only me and Goku.

"I promised Krillin I'd protect you."

"You're doing a good job. I'm still alive, right?"

No reply. Goku wrung out the cloth with his fist and set it down on the counter, then hesitantly brushed my hair away from my neck. My heart was pounding laboriously. Please don't be teasing me, please don't be teasing me; please, for the love of god, don't be teasing me.

He sighed. "Yes, but who's gonna protect you from me?"

This was it.

I felt Goku's hot breath on the crux of my shoulder and neck, tantalizingly close to a kiss. His lips skimmed my skin and he pushed closer to me without the same tentative movements from before. He was coming to terms with it like I was and trying to accept it. I could hardly breathe.

My entire body shivered when his lips finally made contact and he growled as he wrapped his arms around me. I was back to feeling tiny again, like a rabbit in the talons of a falcon. Goku's soft mouth sucked hungrily on my flesh, pulling it between my teeth and rolling gently. He twisted my shirt in his fists to keep control of his hands and I struggled to make sense of what was happening.

It had to be a dream. Goku would never do something this stupid.

"Tell me this is okay," he said huskily, burying his face in my hair. "Tell me it isn't wrong. It feels wrong but… it feels good."

I nodded quickly. "It's okay, you're fine, I'm not upset or anything."

His calloused hands ran over my bare stomach. He was drinking everything in; enjoying it while it lasted. "I'll protect you. I'll make sure no one hurts you."

Suddenly I was shoved up against the wall, making me hit the switch so the lights went out. Goku's black eyes were glimmering in the darkness; bottomless obsidian pools. Damn, he was tall. He held the back of my head and stared into my eyes with the loyalty of a well-trained dog. He was determined to twist my father's words in whatever way he could to justify what was going on.

"You're mine now," he said.

The moment Goku's lips met mine, I felt whole.

I carelessly flung my arms around his neck and eagerly kissed him back. He growled and crushed me into the wall again so the lights flickered on for a brief second and the house seemed to tremble. I wanted him. I needed to feel loved and wanted more than anything in the world. Goku's passion was consuming and powerful, not the chaste kisses I was used to getting from boys. He wanted me.

In a moment of recklessness I wound my fingers through his thick hair and promptly yelped in pain. My injury from the glass was still open, oozing droplets of blood. Goku didn't notice. He scooped me up and carried me down the hall to my bedroom where he unceremoniously dropped me on the bed. I desperately licked at the blood as he locked the door and yanked off his shirt. He wasn't interested in stopping for a few measly cuts. This was it.

But it was too much. I had the capacity to say no. After all, it would be my first time and I wasn't sure I wanted to lose that experience under the present circumstances.

My eyes fell upon his perfectly defined musculature and I strongly considered going along with whatever he wanted. They all had the bodies of Greek gods. It wasn't fair. I mean, it wasn't exactly bad to look at and I'd been secretly hoping to run my fingers down his smooth, tight skin but…

Goku cocked his head innocently but a sly smile broke out across his lips. "Come on, you aren't gonna let a bit of blood interrupt us, right?" He patted the growing bulge between his legs. "This hurts more than that. But don't worry, I'll be gentle. We should probably take off your sheets because I have a weird habit of ripping them up. I don't know why… but I do!"

Say no, say no, say no.

"Um… okay."

You are a stupid bitch, Marron.

When I didn't move, Goku laughed and climbed into bed with me. I was staring at him with wide eyes. Overwhelmed was the best way to describe how I felt. There were two parts terror, one part curiosity, and about three parts of pure, unadulterated lust. I'd never felt so strongly before about anything.

He got on top of me and pinned my wrists teasingly to the mattress. "Gotcha!"

It was a good thing one of us was calm or we both would've been curled up on the floor freaking the fuck out. I smiled sheepishly, violently shaking underneath Goku. He still wasn't fazed. Now that he was certain he had me he was calming down and trying to enjoy himself. Clearly I was too stupefied to even consider going anywhere. Not that I wanted to. 'No' was becoming a distant memory.

"Ooh," he said, glancing at the door, "you're afraid of the dark! I'm sorry I forgot. Want me to turn the light on? I guess that's better since I can see you better." His eyes turned back to me and his smile morphed into a scowl. "Hey, why do you still have your clothes on? Let me help you."

"About that," I stammered. "Um… well, aren't you… m-married and stuff? We c-can just do other things. We don't need t-to uh… you k-know… do that."

"But if Chi-Chi is doing the same thing then this makes us even. And she's done it a lot from what I can tell. I'm not gonna hurt you or anything." Goku craned his neck to look at the stiffness between his legs again. "Er… I'm not gonna hurt you much."

I shrugged weakly and Goku returned to kissing me, making the fire in me burn even hotter. God I was bad at refusing people. But he was nice and I was starting to feel better. I shifted in excitement as his mouth left mine to explore my neck again. If this was how sex felt every night, I was beginning to understand why Bulla and Goten liked it so much.

It wouldn't hurt to tell him the truth. "This will be my f-first time so—"

Everything stopped.

Goku pulled away from me in a heartbeat with his eyebrows knitted seriously. "You're a… virgin?"

When I nodded, he rubbed his face and got to his feet. I hurriedly sat up and followed him out of the room as I spouted various lies. It was no big deal, I didn't mind, I wanted him to take it from me, I was practically not a virgin. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom and demanded I go away.

I had kissed someone who fanned a flame in me that I didn't even know existed. He was married, three times my age, immortal, and apparently had serious moral issues with taking my virginity. Forget the constant barrage of pain in my hand. I had way more problems than I knew what to do with.