A/N: Holy shit! Lol, you guys delivered on reviews! I wasn't trying to be a whiner or anything-I was posting the chapters so freaking fast that some people couldn't keep up. Anywho, I was gonna make this longer but I've already made you wait like two days so I'll just continue on where I left off in the next chapter. Do you like that I pretty much do a day-by-day progression in this story or do you prefer week/month time jumps?

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything affiliated with it.

-MalRev

Spectre

15

"D'you ever wonder about what stars are made of? I've blown some up but I can't tell what kinda stuff is in them. It feels hot. Maybe it's just energy."

We were lying side-by-side in my bed facing the open window, offering a perfect view of the cloudless night sky outside. Goku and I hadn't done anything all day. I was still afraid of facing everyone after what I had happened earlier and now it was even worse. I'd acted on impulse. I'd betrayed Chi-Chi, my father, my mother, and all of our friends. I was a bad person. I never wanted to go outside again.

A cool breeze gently brushed my curtains aside and I shivered. "It's gas and a bunch of different elements mixing together. That's why they eventually implode and create supernovas: nothing can sustain that much energy forever. Our sun is gonna die one day exactly like the others."

Goku furrowed his brow. "I won't let that happen."

"I know you can do a lot but stopping a dying star is pretty much impossible."

"Really? Couldn't I gather all those chemicals and push it back into a ball? Shenron could probably help if I can figure out how to call him again."

"No," I said, tracing constellations with my index finger, "space doesn't work like that."

The Saiyan watched me curiously and turned on his side to face me. He was wearing a black shirt and sweatpants, a vastly different ensemble from the usual bright orange uniform. I could feel his black eyes following my movement with interest but he made no move to come closer or touch me. He knew better. I was still coming to terms with our rendezvous.

It hadn't felt bad or anything. Quite the contrary: it was one of the best moments of my life. I'd forgotten a lot of the pain and crushing sadness I felt when mom sort of pushed me out the door and Goku was more than happy to simply lie in bed with me. He seemed to appreciate the company as much as I did. I honestly wanted to do it again and again; forever, if possible. There was a new hunger in me.

Conversely, I was fully capable of understand that it wasn't right. Goku was married and much, much older than I was. Sometimes it was hard to tell from the way he acted and his physical appearance didn't make things easier, but there was a sizeable barrier between us. I'd satisfied my curiosity and hoped that would be all I needed—a onetime encounter.

But I still wanted more. In spite of my nauseating guilt and confusion, I wanted to roll over and kiss him until he did whatever it was that brought on the feelings. He'd pull me in his lap again and we'd grind against one another and when we fell asleep he'd keep me warm the whole night…

No, don't be dumb. He's married. He'll fight with his wife for a few weeks, maybe even a few months, then they'll realize they can't live without each other. Don't get emotionally attached and put yourself in a bad situation. You don't want to have your heart broken, Marron. It would never work out.

"You think a lot," Goku said.

"There's a lot to think about." I rubbed my eyes sleepily. For such a slow day it had been pretty taxing. I couldn't wait to go to bed. "You can head home if you want. I'm gonna hit the hay soon."

He gazed at me for a few more moments before sitting up to close the window, cutting off the crisp air. The room started getting warmer almost immediately but I still felt like a popsicle. Goku gently lifted me from the bed with one arm to pull my sheets back and I slackened in his grip, dozing off against his warm chest. It was almost too relaxing. He had a slow, steady heartbeat with a calming effect and coupled with his natural heat I never stood a chance when I was tired.

When he carefully laid me back down, he curled up beside me and pulled the sheets over both of us. I began to protest: he needed to go home and check up with Chi-Chi. It would be good for him to open communication with her instead of hanging around me. But he placed his finger to my lips and smiled.

"How about you talk to me instead of thinking?"

Did he know what he did to me?

I awkwardly toyed with his t-shirt, keeping my eyes focused on it. "Um… there isn't much to talk about with you. It's sort of girl stuff but I can't talk to any girls so I'm sorting it out with myself."

"Oh. Well I'm sure I can answer your questions. You can tell me, Marron." He kissed the top of my forehead in a drawn-out fashion. I melted. "What're you wondering about? I hope you don't feel guilty because I should be the only one in that boat. You aren't doing anything wrong."

Liar.

"No, I guess I'm getting over feeling bad," I said. "It's kind of confusing."

"How so?"

"I don't know. I just… I don't think I understand why someone like you would be attracted to someone like me. I'm not trying to put myself down or anything but we're not really alike at all. I've never felt like this before so it's hard to know exactly what's going on and how I'm feeling. I don't know."

Goku wound a lock of my hair around his finger and rubbed his thumb over it. He had a serious fascination with my hair. "I dunno. I don't think about things like that. I follow what my heart tells me to do and it wants you. Thinking usually makes everything seems more complicated than it really is."

It seemed simple enough but I knew that both of us had to seriously think about what we were doing. The mind and heart had a strange habit of contradicting one another. Obviously we were attracted to one another. Goku was fine with ignoring the deep reason why he wanted me and obeying what his heart told him. I wanted to know more; I needed to know why.

I moved closer, picking lint off his shirt to look nonchalant. "So you don't know why you're attracted to me? It kind of happened out of nowhere?"

"I dunno," he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. He wanted me to talk at him instead of seeking input. Of all the things Goku had accomplished, talking about his feelings was not included.

It was the only response I would get. I sighed in defeat and snuggled into his chest, already half-asleep by the time he wrapped his arms around my body. Why did I need to know? We weren't together or anything. Both of us were brought together by the same emptiness yet forced apart by extenuating circumstances. He was married, I wasn't. He was old, I wasn't. He was an alien, I wasn't.

Feelings didn't factor into the equation so there was no point in making Goku uncomfortable. What we had was fine. It satisfied the need both of us had and that was it. There was no serious commitment or love, just concern and mutual desire. I clenched his shirt tightly in my fists as silent tears crawled down my cheeks.

If I wasn't supposed to feel anything, why did it hurt so much?

My phone vibrated on the nightstand, instantly rousing me. I quickly wiped my eyes and leaned across him to snatch it up while he blinked and yawned into awareness. When I settled back down in front of Goku he craned his neck to read the text over the top of my phone, scowling when he saw the name.

Bulla says she's sorry for being mean. Do you want to go see a movie with all of us?

It was Goten. My heart sank and I reread the text a few times. Oh, Goten, if only you knew what I was up to early today. Then you wouldn't want to be within a ten foot radius of me.

I sighed and told him I was too tired to come out. It was a viable excuse. Goku let me crawl over him again to set it back on the nightstand and we cuddled together under the warm sheets. The gnawing guilt was sloughing off my insides. I hoped they all started hating me because I didn't know how I could face them again. It would be ridiculously awkward.

The encounter played out in my mind's eye as Goku began stroking my hair. Oh, hey everyone! Yeah, I was just busy screwing around with Goku and telling him all my feelings. I'm letting myself get emotionally attached but don't worry; he'll never feel the same about me!

When my phone vibrated again, I groaned and started to get up to check it. Goku gently pushed me back down and glanced irately over his shoulder at the beacon of light the screen threw across my wall. He didn't like phones almost as much as dad. He'd always complain when I was on mine at the table.

"No," Goku said, "don't talk to him. It's bed time."

A smirk crinkled my dry tears. "You're kidding, right? Lemme look real quick. It might be important."

I propped myself up and tried to reach over him but grabbed my hand with his and pinned it beside my head, leaning over my chest. It felt like a joke; I could've sworn he was teasing me. Bed time? Really? I laughed despite his oddly irritated expression and shoved all of my weight into his palm to get back up. He didn't budge. He glared at me instead.

"C'mon, it could be important," I said, still giggling. "What if Goten—"

"No."

Pretending to be intimidating? Pft. As if Goku was anywhere near scary. That was like saying a box full of fluffy orange kittens was scary. He was taunting me again, looking for a reaction.

I pouted my lower lip, trying to play the game. "Please? For me? It'll only take—"

"I said no."

There was finality in his voice that made my smile fall apart. Oh. He wasn't kidding around. I scowled up at him and twisted my wrist in his grasp, making it throb painfully. My parents paid for my phone and they didn't care about who I talked to. It was none of Goku's business to stick his nose in that sort of thing. I appreciated that he was watching me but my phone was still myphone.

"Quite frankly, it's none of your business," I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "You think so? Your mother put me in charge of you. I know Goten—trust me, I raised him—and I know all too well how he is with girls. I already told you before not to hang around him and what happened? You wound up with a bad hangover and wished you had listened to me. I care about him but he's nothing like his brother. He's sort of… a jerk."

Hadn't we already discussed Goten? We were beating a dead horse.

"That doesn't mean you can order me around. Let me at least look at it so I can make sure they don't need anything. They wanted me to go to the movies with them."

"It's a school night," Goku said. "Pan and Bulla should be in bed, like you."

"I've been in bed all freaking day. I'd love to get out of it for a few hours and, you know, socialize with people in my age group."

"No. Want me to say it again?"

He was actually serious. His eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were pressed in a thin line—he was waiting to argue. I rolled my eyes, giving in without a fight, and shoved him away to turn over on my side. Soon he was curled up behind me, one arm draped lazily across my waist.

As we drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but worry about the text.